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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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In other news, I saw a fascinating transsexual profile on POF. Their headline was "Tall + Hung / CoolAf x fine = 4me"

 

If we follow the standard order of operations (Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally), then we'll see that being hung and tall are the most important variables, becoming increasingly important the less "cool as [bleep]" and fine you are. Interestingly, though, the cooler and finer you are, the lower 4me is; whereas the taller and more hung you are, the higher 4me is.

I hate PEMDAS because it implies that multiplication comes before division and that addition comes before subtraction. For that equation being more "fine" is what's going to give you the highest 4me score.

 

So I believe that we're supposed to be taking inches for tall and hung, then your average score on a 1-10 hotness scale for fine but I'm at a complete loss for what to use for Coolaf.

 

Kelvin or Rankine for Coolaf

 

how do you compute all the units though

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Actually I think we pretty much went through this conversation our second night together.

 

So yeah...

 

And if tall would score good, well, I would score great!

You think? Man you need to be certain on this stuff. Can't just assume.


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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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I'm at least 300 Kelvins cool af


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That's pretty bad, Judging by that formula, I realized that all you truly need is a virtually zero CoolAf score. The closer that number approaches zero, the more it effectively multiplies your score.

 

...Turning a relationship advice thread into a mathematical discussion. No wonder I'm single.

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Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
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my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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I'm going to assume parenthesis should have been used and that the actual formula should be (Tall + Hung) / (CoolAf * Fine) = 4me.  Otherwise it's kind of a shit show in terms of what the final units are.  I assume tall and hung are both length units if they're being added together.  Coolaf is obviously temperature, with a more desirable score being a lower temperature (hence coolness). Although this means that fine would also be better the lower the score is, right? We're also assuming that a high 4me score is good, which could be totally off.

 

I'm confused on what units "fine" uses though. Is it unit-less? Right now the units of "4me" (or just "me" if we're assuming 4 is just an integer) are something like m/K*x, where x is whatever unit fine is in. 

 

My conclusion is that I think the formula needs revision and that it doesn't accurately define "4me".

 

Edit:

 

"(Tall + Hung x Fine) / CoolAf = 4me" seems like a pretty good formula. Where fine is a unit-less 1-10 rating.


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Fineness, or grit, is just a coefficient from 0 to 180 with higher being more fine. So we're probably looking at (tall + hung)/cool * fine, with our final unit in length/temperature.

 

This formula is fundamentally flawed, though. It basically says that someone who's 5'6" with an 8" dick is equivalent to someone who's 6' and 2" long.

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You mean it's not?

Huh. This explains a lot about my love life. Time to start buying those pills mentioned in those sites.

 

Also, muggi should find that person on POF, and copy+paste this entire conversation into a message for that person.


Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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IF one was 0K one would be motionless :((( This sheer disregard for thermodynamics upsets me to no end. 

 

 

Fineness, or grit, is just a coefficient from 0 to 180 with higher being more fine. So we're probably looking at (tall + hung)/cool * fine, with our final unit in length/temperature.

This formula is fundamentally flawed, though. It basically says that someone who's 5'6" with an 8" dick is equivalent to someone who's 6' and 2" long.

 

The formula is still flawed because you would end up dividing by 0 if someone happens to scores 0 in either Kelvins or Fineness (can we call them Finies?)

 

However, we can rectify this as (Tall + Hung) /((Cool*Fine) +1)

 

Upon testing of the equation the closer Cool*Fine gets to 0, the more the scale compares becomes about how Tall and Hung one is.

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Fineness, or grit, is just a coefficient from 0 to 180 with higher being more fine. So we're probably looking at (tall + hung)/cool * fine, with our final unit in length/temperature.

 

This formula is fundamentally flawed, though. It basically says that someone who's 5'6" with an 8" dick is equivalent to someone who's 6' and 2" long.

Yeah that's basically why it's such a mind [bleep]. It suggests that one's "stats" must be balanced instead of maxed out.

 

This would make a great extra credit assignment in a college math course.


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We could remove that flaw by altering the formula to tall + (hung/cool) * fine, which is what you get if you read it straight off the POF profile as is. Apart from the discrepancies in final units, it probably works out better by encouraging guys to max out the hung stat (though presumably, excessively high hung results in a greater value for cool).

 

Perhaps every value is meant to be taken without units too? Muggi should contact that POF dude to see if they have a chart that directly correlates a raw value into a point score.


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This formula is fundamentally flawed, though. It basically says that someone who's 5'6" with an 8" dick is equivalent to someone who's 6' and 2" long.

I was under the assumption that that was the point? Like you can make up for one area by excelling in the other.


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This formula is fundamentally flawed, though. It basically says that someone who's 5'6" with an 8" dick is equivalent to someone who's 6' and 2" long.

I was under the assumption that that was the point? Like you can make up for one area by excelling in the other.

 

The extreme extrapolation from that is that a 6' guy who's 2" long scores the same as a 6'2" guy with a penectomy.

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What the hell did I just read...


Popoto.~<3

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I think we need to do a Tipit dick size survey, both to supplement the height survey and to gain further accuracy regarding TIF and this new formula of manliness.

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I don't like to blow my own horn...

 

...but for $5...


Popoto.~<3

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We should get everyone's 4me value!

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I think I've got a pretty solid Tinder system established now. :geek: I took a lot of things from this guy's guide.

 

It's basically just a more concise version of the OKC/POF/Match system. Just use 1 or 2 profile pictures. Keep your profile blank unless there's multiple people in one of your pics and you need to indicate which person you are.

 

1. Only look at a girl's first pic, swipe right if they're a "yes" or a "maybe" (I worry that if I swipe right for everyone, as efficient as that would be, Tinder would put some invisible restrictions on my account)

2. Opener: "You look like trouble"

3. If they ask why they look like trouble, I tell them that they resemble a Bond girl, and they always get James Bond into trouble. Or if their profile description or pictures give me a better answer I'll use that instead.

4. Ask them, "What would you say your best quality is that doesn't have anything to do with your looks?"

5. Ask them, "Which do you think is better: coffee or drinks?"

6. Say, "Ok let's meet up for [whichever option they chose in #5]. I'm free tonight and tomorrow night. If you're up for it, my number is xxx.xxx.xxxx.

 

If they go radio silent or give you some sort of excuse, they're politely rejecting you. If they want to meet up, they will text you. Sometimes it'll take a couple of days for them to text you.

 

When they text you...

 

7. Hey there's a [bar or coffee shop] at [location]. Let's meet up there tonight at 8.

8. Meet them at the bar or coffee shop at 8.

9. ???

10. Profit!

 

I'm liking Tinder though because it seems to have much hotter girls than OKC/POF/Match. And girls don't seem very self-conscious about meeting up via Tinder since it's socially acceptable and "cool" right now.


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Also make sure you include your 4me stat in your profile description if it's really good, so that girls know that you're the perfect male specimen. Or in my case a fine, cool as [bleep] 8' tall giant with a micropenis.

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Thats basically my tinder method, with a few minor tweaks. I had no recognizable faults or penalties in always swiping right. I was however frequently matched with people of similar swiping habits (attention seekers and bots) but that could very well just be an accurate depiction of the Delaware river area dating pool lol.

 

Also I had 4 profile pictures each to serve a purpose:

Primary) looking good focusing on strongest features (I used my beard to my advantage)

2) graduation photo with classmates (shows initiative in life)

3) pick of self driving clearly taken by someone else (proves I can drive and capable of 1 on 1 scenarios)

4) pic of me with a large group of friends (proves I have social value)

 

My bio was simply my snapchat username. For obvious suggestive reasoning.

 

I'd like to think it was a successful technique (granted I never met anyone on tinder of particular long term quality)


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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^ Did you try and find out who by?



"Imagine yourself surrounded by the most horrible cripples and maniacs it is possible to conceive, and you may understand a little of my feelings with these grotesque caricatures of humanity about me."

- H.G. Wells, The Island of Doctor Moreau

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I never got enough Tinder matches to use those techniques anyway.


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