been talking to this cute girl on OkCupid from Thursday to Saturday, ask her out for coffee, she hasn't been online since lolz

 

me_irl^1024

Shoulda asked her out on Thursday :P That’s why you always want to pitch the meet ASAP— you won’t know if she’s actually interested in you until you ask. If they’re genuinely interested, they’ll be down to meet up right away after just a couple of messages. Or, maybe she was interested, but then a more interesting guy came along and asked her out on Friday

yeah except I have a secret advantage: we have a friend in common

 

I shall attempt to utilize this nuclear option if she doesn't reply by this weekend

why bother? if she doesn't respond, she's not interested, and you should move on to someone who is

1. She's the only interesting person I've matched with out of the last half a dozen recently.

 

2. Wouldn't it be like other relationships? E.g., putting in a resume vs having a friend/employee recommend you at said company. Then again I guess you could argue I failed the interview???

1. sure, but she doesn't know that. either way, if she's not interested, it doesn't matter

 

2. not in my experience...a relationship isn't like hiring for a job. if she's not interested (read: not attracted), having a friend say "but he's so great" probably won't change her mind

I'm sure you're right but I'm still going to try. Only because she literally hasn't been on OkCupid since I sent my last message (ergo she hasn't read it) and all the banter before was good afaik.

While you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, you’re prob just going to come off as needy. If she were interested, she’d still be talking to you IMO.

 

If she’s seeing another guy and it goes south and she returns to OKC, it’s better for her to see that you weren’t continuously trying to get her attention

alright

 

I'll just do the other nuclear option and delete my okcupid profile lol

 

I'll create a new one later that presents as straight when I (wrongly) think things will be different.

 

My therapist agrees I should stop dating anyway. It's too depressing. I've been only rejected half a dozen times in the last few weeks so I'm feeling kinda low.

I’d quit dating for at least 6 months till you have some dope shirtless pics to use from your weight training. There’s no rush, you have plenty of time— it’s not like you’re a woman where dating is a race against the clock :lol:

You don't need shirtless pics for matches.

 

Damn if I didn't have more trouble with location than with getting matches... Living 20 miles out of the city with parents is a bit bad for dating.

Oh well, gonna change that soon.

idk if I said it here but I'll never had good shirtless photos because I have way too much loose skin

I'll never have too nice either, I have a deformed ribcage. But having shirt-on photos where you are buff and at least look strong also help immensely.

Shirtless photos arent essential but they help immensely if you can pull it off. At the very least, like saqs said, you should look buff and strong w/ a shirt on

Is it normal for people you've been talking to to just stop talking to you?

 

For example, a girl I thought I was friends with (we hung out a few times outside of school and between classes) just stopped talking to me a few weeks after class, and her girlfriend acted weird and dismissive when I bumped into her later. There's about 4 other examples this one just stings the most.

 

There's got to be something wrong with me...

 

I just feel so lonely and I'm /really really really/ tired of it. Stress over relationships (not just intimate/romantic) in general has been indescribable and 1) I don't know why 2) the stress is causing major delusional thinking

Happens quite often. You win some, you lose some.

Only way to get over it is just keep trying to find new, better people to talk with.

And always helps if, somehow, someway you don't project the depression outside when trying to meet someone new. Gotta show that everything is going perfect in the best possible way. Fake it till you make it.

Totally normal, definitely sucks.

Happens quite often. You win some, you lose some.

Only way to get over it is just keep trying to find new, better people to talk with.

And always helps if, somehow, someway you don't project the depression outside when trying to meet someone new. Gotta show that everything is going perfect in the best possible way. Fake it till you make it.

 

People are genuinely surprised if I confide in them I have depression and 'high-functioning' schizophrenia. You learn to hide it.

Damn. I ended up on a girl on Tinder who just wanted to [bleep]. That shit be scary :D

Hold on to your kidneys!

So me being a bit oblivious, I agreed to a friend trying to set me up on a date before I saw the other guy. I've told him what I'm interested in, but... He sent me pictures at some point and I didn't find the guy attractive but I thought hey, maybe his photos are bad. We texted back and forth and he came across a bit needy...

 

...so to prevent my having to in the future say I'm not interested, I dressed really girly (blush + miniskirt + long socks + blouse + [bleep]ing cute vest). I think it worked. He was taken aback (and not in a positive way) by how I was dressed judging by his initial reaction, so I think I was able to let him down indirectly.

 

was that bad

 

I don't like conflict lol it's annoying

I think the general consensus response will be "Just tell them you don't want to meet." You don't have to provide a reason, and even if you do the fact that youreot interested should be enough. Better to be straight forward, because where would/will you be if the guy actually like(d) the look?

Sorry I'll do that in the future. Bit dumb way of handling it on my part. D:

 

 

Better to be straight forward, because where would/will you be if the guy actually like(d) the look?

 

maybe I would've liked him then LOL

 

...

 

So I've been going to the gym for a few weeks (3x a week); I've made some progress. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do, and also what I look like, in six months and a year from now...

Edited October 13, 20187 yr by Veiva

Just be upfront and straightforward/honest next time— being dishonest/manipulative like that is a bad habit to get into. Good job with the gym consistency so far, keep it up.

On the flip side anyone I'd date for a long term relationship would have to be willing to accept my dressing in such a manner or it's not going to work.

 

That really limits my dating pool lol.