Oh no! Is he stuck?! We need to get Ben out of there ASAP!

Former boss/informal mentor pulled me in to a meeting to give me a heads up about a proposed department restructure coming down the line that involves giving each team a "lead developer" whose job it is to make architectural decisions and be the person to consult on designing things. I'm on his list of people to recommend for the new role.

 

It sounds a bit more managerial than I'm necessarily comfortable with, which makes me nervous, but it's also nice to hear that level of confidence. It's also, based on how the company does promotions, probably going to be p much exactly what I'm currently doing. So maybe it won't be too bad.

 

Excited to see what the future holds here. Hope my transition doesn't [bleep] with this too much.

i hope so, friend!

Life is pretty awesome, I'm thinking about all the good stuff that's happened in the last year or two... It's a lot. A lot of firsts, a lot of spontaneous things, a lot of things I'd never have imagined I'd be able to do. I've got to remember this moment, this kind of thinking, so even when things get tough I remember how far I've come.

 

[hide]

2017

January - Started School, started new job at Staples

February - Learner's permit, went to a bar

March - driving lessons, ItsyRealm began

April - driver's license, car, ECGC/first trip to Raleigh, began dating

May - redacted

June - internship

July - Carowinds

August - got drunk, came out as non-binary

September - first software developer job

October - Florence + The Machine concert, went to first Halloween party

November - Washington, DC, Los Campesinos!

December - 1 year at Staples (technically)

 

2018

January - Beard, quit Staples, 1 year at school

February - Went to Orlando, FL, Universal + Islands of Adventure, saw grandparents after 16+ years, paid off car

March - 1 year ItsyRealm, Muse concert, went to Atlanta, became vegetarian

April - redacted

May - Six Flags, finished ItsyRealm demo

June - Move to Charlotte

July - new job

[/hide]

 

Some of the things are seemingly so small, some of them are embarrassing (hence redacted), but they're all totally new things that have led to me being where I am today.

Man I love me some [hide][redacted][/hide]

Got a Kawa ER-6N for a day. But I couldn't sleep last night cause I am in a proper mess right now. Been crying the past 2 days, compiling suicide notes in my head and figuring the easiest and coolest ways to do it.

The mess of Autumn is finally getting to me plus the fact that I messed up with a person I got very dear with [bleep]ed me up.

Please don't kill yourself

Agreeing with these guys, it will get better and it sounds like you've got a lot of good going on.

Getting a motorcycle is a step in the right direction. Things will get better! We all care about you Saq

I do feel obligated to say that talking to a therapist or other professional is important. I know you've expressed disdain for the idea in the past, and I know it's scary, but they can help a lot more than strangers on the internet, alcohol, or even time can.

Yay, I'm in the loony bin! For three weeks, at least! Fun stuff.

They put you in the psych ward for 3 weeks in Estonia? That's actually pretty cool, in Florida they only keep you for 3 days before they kick you out, which isn't nearly enough time to get treated. It's gonna suck while you're there, but I hope you take the treatment seriously and come out in a much better mental state

3 weeks is a subjective guess. Might be less, might be more. Also, due to song festival this weekend I am getting out on special terms for the weekend. It is such a big deal. Even guys who have been conscripted get that weekend off if they take part. As one of the doctors said, keeping a choir singer off song festival is a worse punishment than death.

34 today :shades: :thumbsup: \:D/ :twss: Going to eat some pancakes with my family, open some presents & go watch Spiderman, play RS  & Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Online. My cousins came over last night & we played Super Smash Brothers Ultimate & Mario Tennis. We shot some Fireworks. They gave me a $50 online gift card for Nintendo |^_^|

.

Happy birthday

I went to a bar with friends after work today, which was an...interesting? experience. The original plan was to get drinks and then play board games but we stayed there for like 2.5 hours instead. It was so loud and pretty warm in there...don't know how people do it. I could barely hear the person next to me half the time. Maybe I can convince them to do something else next time...

I'm glad my mates don't drink, generally. Only 3 of our group drink, the rest stay away. I like to think I've been a good influence, coming to hang out with them and play games rather than them going out or whatever. Normally I'm the biggest anti-drinking bloke you'll meet, but some of my mates would give me a run for my money now. 

idont drink not evenw ater

How come?

 

In other news, all's nice and quiet around here. For now. Will be out soon, seeing a Metallica concert tomorrow.

it saqbd fomt6 bn bones

My level 9/5=14 ranger/rogue has an undying hatred of giants so I "accidentally" picked a fight with 4 of them.

 

Good thing our barbarian saved on 4 relentless rages in a row and then used a relentless endurance once his save hit DC 35

 

Dude did NOT want to die

Also I killed 3 of the 4 frost giants because Assiniate is [bleep]ing insane with Sneak Attack

One of my party members needs to grow up and tell us straight what his problems are rather than 'wellimnotplayingthen'. Otherwise, we might be on Sunday. We know what his problems are, but instead of us having a civilised discussion about it, he just gets all whiny. 

 

Actually just checked the group chat, looks like 4/5 of us are on, but the aforementioned member has not replied. 

We run man down almost every week now, otherwise we'd never get to play