Over the past years, I've had terrible anger problems, two just recently almost cost me two of my best friends, and I've grown sick and tired because of it. There are times when I don't even give a damn about how the people I hurt emotionally (and sometimes physically), and I can't even think straight. I even put myself down all the time when it happens, it's reached the point where I actually might hurt someone very bad physically, and that is something that I dread. I wanna learn how to control it myself without the use of anger management, plus I don't want my parents to have to pay money for something that expensive (I also don't want them to know about my predicaments).

 

 

 

Do you guys know of any exercises that I could use or any simple methods when I start acting this way?

 

 

 

By the way, I don't expect professional help from this forum, just some things that might make me relax a little and to be able to control my anger so I can focus it on something more productive.

Hmm..

 

 

 

Build a large wooden structure, then take a baseball bat/sword/fists and smash the crap out of it. Laugh evily and conspire to take over the world. Works every time. :thumbup:

Seek professional help.

 

 

 

Really.

 

 

 

Talk about your problem with your parents, they might be able to help you. As your parent's they'll try and help you in any way they can.

 

 

 

Do not rely on self-help. As you stated, you're afraid you might get physical on somebody, making you a potential threat (I do not mean to exaggerate) for your friend. Get help before it is to late, having lost your friends or even worse.

Join the SCA. There's bound to be a group of them somewhere near you.

If I'm angry I dig my nails into my flesh and it calms me down. It works for me because I have long nails, but I don't really advise this..

 

 

 

Things like screaming into a pillow don't work effectively for me but you could try screaming into a pillow or hitting inanimate objects (funfun).

 

or hitting animate objects (funfun).

:thumbup:

Until about 3 years ago, I had major anger problems (I'm sure you've all heard this story a million times, so I'll skip the details).

 

Basically, I just learned not to make a deal out of any of it. When I felt like punching someone, I would just grit my teeth, take deep breaths and walk away.

 

Over the years, it's become easier. I don't need to grit my teeth, my face doesn't go red, I don't clench my fists or show any angry emotions. I don't raise my voice or even swear.

 

It may seem difficult, and it is at first, but honestly just take my advice.... Don't react when people piss you off. Walk away. Don't yell. Don't swear. Within a couple of years it'll be second nature to you. Hell, I haven't gotten mad at someone in almost two years.

Build something, beat the [cabbage] out of it. Or, if you don't have enough disposable income to keep building and destroying, just get a punching bag. Amazing stress relief.

I find mint chewing gum seems to keep me calm, no idea why it just does.

 

 

 

I agree with Wongtong about hitting inanimate objects, the harder the object the better because it hurts and you learn your lesson :P Unless pain makes you angry...then don't.

Seek professional help.

 

 

 

Really.

 

 

 

Talk about your problem with your parents, they might be able to help you. As your parent's they'll try and help you in any way they can.

 

 

 

Do not rely on self-help. As you stated, you're afraid you might get physical on somebody, making you a potential threat (I do not mean to exaggerate) for your friend. Get help before it is to late, having lost your friends or even worse.

 

 

 

My parents would think I'm crazy, plus we don't have that kind of money currently, we're not broke, but they're paying for mine and my sister's braces already, and we just got a new house.

 

 

 

I also have somewhat controlled myself several times, so I believe that I can fix the problem I created by myself. My big problem is basically that I can't focus it on anything and it builds up so quickly, then it becomes a big problem.

Just beat your mum/girlfriend - much cheaper than a punchbag.

Just beat your mum/girlfriend - much cheaper than a punchbag.

Fines/bail

 

Do you guys know of any exercises that I could use or any simple methods when I start acting this way?

 

 

 

By the way, I don't expect professional help from this forum, just some things that might make me relax a little and to be able to control my anger so I can focus it on something more productive.

 

 

 

If you went and see a psychologist, you probably be given the "Cognitive-Relaxation Program". Before I go on explaning it, I shall exaplain one of the most common way of controlling anger/agression which is catharsis.

 

 

 

Catharsis is a psychologoical process through which anger or aggressive energy is released by expressing or letting out powerful negative emotions. According to this concept, a good way to deal with anger or aggression is to "let off steam," which means expressing strong negative emotions by yelling, aruging, hitting or kicking something.

 

 

 

However most research does not support the usefulness of catharsis. The researcher conculded that venting to let anger out is like pouring gasoline on a fire, it only adds fuel and makes the anger worse. (Bushman, 2002)

 

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For the "Cognitive-Relaxation Program":

 

 

 

1. It begins with you observing and later writing down your behaviours (feeling tense) and anger producing thoughts (stfu). This process is called self-moinitoring and helps you to make a record of the anger-producing thoughs and behaviours that you may not have been aware of and that trigger and maintain your anger.

 

 

 

2. Next, you should learns a method to quickly relax yourself on cue(*progressive relaxation*) so that you will be able to redue your body tension and arousal.

 

 

 

3. Than make a list of positive thoughts so that you can subsitute for the anger-producing ones.

 

 

 

Being able to relax on cue is important because it's very hard to get angry if you're relaxed. Researchers found that this congitive relaxation program has proved very effective in helping individuals reduce and control their anger

 

 

 

Overview: http://www.whatcomcounts.org/whatcom/mo ... ce&pid=666

 

 

 

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*Progressive Relaxation*= Involves practicing tensing and relaxing the major muscle groups of the body until you are able to relax any groupd of muscles at will.

 

 

 

1. Begin by first tensing and relaxing your toes and then continuing up the body, tensing and relaxing the muscles of your calves, thighs, pelvis, stomach, shoulders, arms, hands, neck, face and forehead.

 

 

 

2. Repeat for several week, daily for 20 minutes per session and you should be able to use this exercise to relax your body at will, especially immediately after being stressed.

 

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The Cognitive-Relaxation Program is like you have fear of doing something and you go to a Psychologist and they do a systematic desensitization on you.

 

 

 

Hope this helps as this cost you no money but only time. It is one of the most effective and no-cost therapy I could think of atm. Try to do that in a relaxing environment though, it might helps a little.

Seek professional help.

 

 

 

Really.

 

 

 

Talk about your problem with your parents, they might be able to help you. As your parent's they'll try and help you in any way they can.

 

 

 

Do not rely on self-help. As you stated, you're afraid you might get physical on somebody, making you a potential threat (I do not mean to exaggerate) for your friend. Get help before it is to late, having lost your friends or even worse.

 

 

 

My parents would think I'm crazy, plus we don't have that kind of money currently, we're not broke, but they're paying for mine and my sister's braces already, and we just got a new house.

 

 

 

I also have somewhat controlled myself several times, so I believe that I can fix the problem I created by myself. My big problem is basically that I can't focus it on anything and it builds up so quickly, then it becomes a big problem.

 

 

 

No seriously, seek some help.

 

 

 

Helped me control it for a year, then I kind of snapped again. But hell, it helped, it was less frequent, and then to being almost non-exsistant.

Kick a football (soccer ball to you Americans) against a wall. I find that helps quite a lot.

Workout when you're pumped up with rage. Or just do a hobby you like. The key is to keep your mind off the things that anger you with other enjoyable interests.

Just beat your mum/girlfriend - much cheaper than a punchbag.

Fines/bail

 

Good point sir, however I think he will be able to intimidate them into keeping quiet.

 

 

 

"Fell down the stairs doc"

Keep in mind most of these methods won't work unless you really want them to.

You could always try [violent] video games.

 

They're distracting, killing imaginary people is fun and no one gets hurt.

Try the Fight Club method - initiate a verbal/physical fight and purposely lose it. :thumbup:

 

 

 

If you'd rather try something a little less out there, focus on adjusting your mindset. Think about all the times you can remember where you got particularly mad, then focus on the bigger picture surrounding all of those incidents. My roommate came stumbling in drunk the other night, waking me from the wonderful sleep I was enjoying, and proceeded to pee all over our floor/my area rug. I was pretty frustrated, but at the same time it helped me make a decision that I know will be better for me in the future. I have been contemplating transferring school's for some time now but never really made the decision because I know the college I was considering transferring to isn't that great of a college, well after this incident I realized that neither is the one I'm at, and since it doesn't come down to the quality of the college I'd rather be with my friends.

 

 

 

I kind of went on a little tangent but yeah, just focus on the positives that come from any situation and if you ever fell yourself getting angry ask yourself "is this even something that will affect me longterm?" because if it doesn't, don't worry about it. Also realize that a difference in opinions is no reason to argue.

 

 

 

Another thing is, I'm sure there are certain things (topics, issues, personalities, etc) that get you angry. You may not even realize it, but unless it's a psychological disorder triggering it (in which case you'd need help) or you just get angry at everything (in which case you'd need help), it's there. So what you should do is pinpoint these specific "things" that trigger your anger and try to focus on a different one each day and tell yourself throughout that day that you won't get angry about anything related to it. The thing about emotions is that often times they develop subconciously and build up to the point where they take over, so if you maintain a conciousness about yourself and your emotions it's possible to control them.

Find a piece of paper. Any paper will do; something written on it or blank, lined or...really blank. Take it outside. Now light it on fire. Watch it until it burns completely. How did that feel?

 

 

 

Just don't do it indoors. I nearly burnt up by couch last week and burned my finger putting it out. Crisis averted, but still.

Okay, put an elastic band over your wrist, and whever you start to feel angry, pull it back and snap it on your wrist (tight bands work best)

 

 

 

Then count to 10, slowly, while taking deep breaths...

 

 

 

Then assess the situation, is it really worth acting like that?

 

Then act...

 

 

 

It's what I do, when I used to flip out... Just give yourself time to think

 

 

 

Tell the provoker to "piss off" and "smoke my pole"

Find a piece of paper. Any paper will do; something written on it or blank, lined or...really blank. Take it outside. Now light it on fire. Watch it until it burns completely. How did that feel?

 

 

 

Just don't do it indoors. I nearly burnt up by couch last week and burned my finger putting it out. Crisis averted, but still.

 

Oh, man, that is epic.

Find a piece of paper. Any paper will do; something written on it or blank, lined or...really blank. Take it outside. Now light it on fire. Watch it until it burns completely. How did that feel?

 

 

 

Just don't do it indoors. I nearly burnt up by couch last week and burned my finger putting it out. Crisis averted, but still.

 

 

 

I lol'd.

 

 

 

I think Smage and Madman have some pretty good exercises I could do, I should have this thread as a favorites in my browser.

 

 

 

I appreciate the help, guys.

Okay, put an elastic band over your wrist, and whever you start to feel angry, pull it back and snap it on your wrist (tight bands work best)

 

 

 

 

That'd piss me off. "Ow! Dammit!!!!"