I typically don't engage anyone in casual conversation unless I already know them. In fact, I can't remember the last time I engaged a one on one conversation with someone I didn't already know - it's not that I'm anti-social or anything, I have plenty of friends and am not afraid to go out or anything...it's just I view it if someone wants to talk to me they'll talk to me. All that being said, I've noticed that I'm less likely to befriend a guy than a girl (I'm a guy myself) but when I do it doesn't matter one bit what they look like, it's all about who they are as a person. When it comes to females though, I will admit I am shallow initially but if they prove they're an interesting/intelligent person I won't give a [cabbage] how they look from there on out. Likewise if an attractive girl proves that they aren't interesting/intelligent I'll have no problem never seeing them again.

 

So basically I am shallow but that shallowness is very easily overcome.

I don't avoid talking to people that I don't find attractive. I just be sure not to say anything that might make them think I am interested. Generally, if I talk to someone if they are capable of understanding what I am telling them. If they give sensible feedback, then I'll continue to talk with them. Most of the time it seems that people are telling me their problems. So, I can generally find out what a person is like before having to tell them any of my problems. If it isn't a heart-to-heart discussion, then I generally just say whatever positive; reinforcing line comes to mind. I don't really find myself in a place where I'm not around friends, so the chance of being caught off-guard with someone I can't stand isn't very likely. I'd have to say I'm generally friends with people that I find attractive, although, I don't believe that is why they are my friends.

 

Interesting question.

Here's how my mind works:

 

If they are unattractive & they decide they want to talk to me, then I have no problems having a conversation with them. But as a 21 year old male, I am not going to make a conscious decision to go up and start a conversation with someone that I find unattractive if there are attractive people there. In most of these types of social situations I am out at a bar/party, and am obviously on the search for women I find attractive.

 

But I'll talk to anybody no questions asked if they approach me first :thumbsup: .

I don't think I do. I might though, who knows.

I'm not stupid enough to think EVERYONE is like that in the entire world, but everyone in my immediate region IS that sort of person.

 

So not EVERYONE in the world, but EVERYONE you deal with on a daily basis, and near you, is that type of person ?

 

What can I say...

To be completely honest, yes, I generally tend to like talking to more attractive people more and talk to them over unattractive people when i can (unless they're [bleep]s)

I usually don't talk to anyone unless they have shown some interest in the things I am interested in. I think it's just because i'll assume we have nothing in common, so it'd be pointless to try to talk to them.

I'm not stupid enough to think EVERYONE is like that in the entire world, but everyone in my immediate region IS that sort of person.

 

So not EVERYONE in the world, but EVERYONE you deal with on a daily basis, and near you, is that type of person ?

 

What can I say...

That I live in a rubbish area where most people are chavs or just people (by that I mean teenagers) that I've been going to school with since I was 5 and who've never liked me? It's a small town.

 

It's been a while since I unintentionally got everyone all het up over something I've said :P Anyway it kind of shows the point that if someone DID say 'Oh I don't like attractive/unattractive people and I avoid them' they get people going on at them so thats why nearly all the posts here are like 'Oh I don't avoid them.'

Feeling on the "outside" in secondary school is part of nearly everyone's life: there's limited number of "popular" kids. Being in Marching Band was an automatic group of 100 friends/acquaintances - it's kind of like the army, when you suffer together you have a common bond, lol. When we moved to my final hometown, I seized the opportunity to create a more confident "front" (a false one), so I didn't get bullied anymore. I managed to make a few intellectual friends (not geeks, good grades but some semblance of social skills, just not part of the cheerleader/quarterback crowd), and that's what most non-popular people do - make their own small clique, tho it's usually not extremely exclusive.

 

The thing about the "popular" crowd ... is that at the very core of the group you will find some actually nice, decent people. Remarkably, they are not the prettiest - showing pictures of a popular and an unpopular girl to someone from another school, the more popular was deemed less attractive. But she was a super nice, calm, happy, non-judgemental and kind person. Never said anything mean about anyone, not a backstabber, not evil, not a bully. She didn't have a miserable home life, didn't have a lot of problems to share - she wasn't emotionally needy. People flocked to her. I couldn't help liking her myself, despite envying her, lol. And if unpopular people came up to her ... she'd be just as nice to them as to anyone else. She just wouldn't seek them out.

 

The crowd immediately AROUND the decent ones are the stuck-up ones, the bullies. They want to keep anyone else out, because they are insecure but try to cloak that with a facade of calm which the genuine people aren't faking. The are the hard outer shell of the popular crowd. They are the ones who judge other people. If I meet one of those (even as an adult) ... I try to get away as soon as possible, and stay away. I prefer to seek out people who are non-judgemental, who don't feel the need to put someone down to lift themselves up.

 

Someone above said it right, about unattractive or fat people - average guys or girls don't want to give the impression that they are interested, so they avoid even eye contact. And since eye contact is a fundamental need of the human psyche, the lack of it is even more painful to someone who may already have low self-esteem. It's only in a small group, actively getting to know someone, that people get past the looks to even find OUT if there's a warm, funny and clever person under there.

 

Upon leaving high school I never looked back. I don't keep in touch with anyone, not even my closest companions from that era. Many people find their first "true" friends while away at college/university. It's an opportunity for self-reflection and change: for the first time, you can be who you want to be. That's when we can define ourselves without comparing to the popular kids - at university everyone is starting from square zero. I've kept in touch with college friends my whole life - my parents did the same with theirs. Going to a small school in your hometown makes it really difficult to encounter people who are sympatico, who view the world the same way you do and want to be friends. University changes that, there are a TON of people around so there's a wider choice and better chance. When you go away to school, make an active choice to join clubs that interest you, where you will meet people who have the same interests. Go to dorm meetings. Go to student council meetings. Get involved in sports or the chapel or whatever works for you. The idea is not to find a bf or gf - it's to make friends of both genders, to find people who understand you and can accept you for who you are. :thumbsup:

Quite the opposite really. I'm not hesitant to approach 'unattractive' people because I generally regard myself as unattractive also. In fact I have more problems talking to attractive people. Attractive people have to prove to me that they're not a stuck up popular [wagon] before I deem them safe to talk to. I generally equate Attractiveness = Popularity and Popularity = Hatred of me.

I am the same way. Er, I was, at least, back in school. Although I didn't talk to much of anybody back then. Although a couple of my cloest friends were quite attractive females.

I don't avoid them but I'll speak to them differently. Not in a negative way ofc just nothing suggestive.

 

Stupid people on the other hand, I don't bother ralking to. That, I certainly cannot handle.

I admit that I do.

Not at all. Throughout my years at high school and below, I was oftentimes the only person to nicely talk to some of the unattractive people. Of course, that was often a bit of a problem for me because since I was the only person talking to/being nice to them, some of them got a little clingy and thought I was their best friend D:

well to be honest i try to avoid that most of the time.

not to sound like the bad guy, but I generally would go for the more better looking one's. My friends who are in relationships or friendships have alot of good looking women, why cant I? Of course that's not to say I would ignore the less attractive 100%, I'm just saying over preference.

I would have to say yeah, I do. If they are rather unattractive to me I really try to avoid speaking to them or looking at them.

I wouldn't say i do. I'd rather choose to avoid someone after speaking to them and disliking their personality, rather than avoiding them based on what they looked like alone.

 

Starting Uni in autumn was a real eye opener where meeting new people was concerned. I'd say most people were pretty open minded about meeting new people in general, not judging on looks/background straight from the off. However, i found some folks from more well off backgrounds a lot more judgemental than other people, like judging on looks etc before speaking to the person.

I'll talk to anyone as long as they have something interesting to say.

I think ppl dont look (that) good are usually funny or something like that.... But theres always that one wierdo you dont wanna talk to. ever. lol ... But I'm good at heart so I still talk to them.

I just avoid talking to ppl that pretend to like me because im a bit foolish lol

I don't go speed dating or go on a kick to meet new people very often. The people I meet are associates at school or friends of friends. I have to do a lot of group projects at school so it means a lot of dealing with other people. When it depends on a grade, I don't care what they look like as long as they can work. As a few people have mentioned, hygiene and taking care of ones self is more important than looks in my book. They can't do better than the best they can do with what they have. The personalities end up being much more important in long relationships with someone. At first meet, I'll probably be more alert around someone I find attractive. They could be unattractive and intelligent and able to challenge me in areas I care about to keep me on my toes as well though.

I will do essentially whatever I can to avoid (talking to) someone I am attracted to.

Honestly, most people have the ability to look attractive if they take care of themselves, and most of the time it's easy to tell whether someone cares about their appearance or are just unfortunate. I don't avoid talking to unattractive people at all, obviously they have just as great of a chance to be fun to be around as an attractive person, but I always realize that their priorities lie elsewhere and don't consider them very liable for dating.

I'm not stupid enough to think EVERYONE is like that in the entire world, but everyone in my immediate region IS that sort of person.

 

So not EVERYONE in the world, but EVERYONE you deal with on a daily basis, and near you, is that type of person ?

 

What can I say...

That I live in a rubbish area where most people are chavs or just people (by that I mean teenagers) that I've been going to school with since I was 5 and who've never liked me? It's a small town.

 

It's been a while since I unintentionally got everyone all het up over something I've said :P Anyway it kind of shows the point that if someone DID say 'Oh I don't like attractive/unattractive people and I avoid them' they get people going on at them so thats why nearly all the posts here are like 'Oh I don't avoid them.'

Maybe they don't like you has something to do with the fact that you don't like them?

thats why nearly all the posts here are like 'Oh I don't avoid them.'

 

Yep. That's why.

I'm not stupid enough to think EVERYONE is like that in the entire world, but everyone in my immediate region IS that sort of person.

 

So not EVERYONE in the world, but EVERYONE you deal with on a daily basis, and near you, is that type of person ?

 

What can I say...

That I live in a rubbish area where most people are chavs or just people (by that I mean teenagers) that I've been going to school with since I was 5 and who've never liked me? It's a small town.

 

It's been a while since I unintentionally got everyone all het up over something I've said :P Anyway it kind of shows the point that if someone DID say 'Oh I don't like attractive/unattractive people and I avoid them' they get people going on at them so thats why nearly all the posts here are like 'Oh I don't avoid them.'

Maybe they don't like you has something to do with the fact that you don't like them?

No. I don't like them because they don't like me. I'm just a quiet, private person and if that makes me a bad person then I don't give a [bleep].