Should spanking children be allowed?

[mad4u689]

I don't think there should be a law against it, and it's within the realm of parenting decisions, but I lose respect for parents who use this as a regular form of punishment - or even punishment at all... ESPECIALLY when the reason for spanking is anger-related as opposed to purely objectively disciplinary.

 

 

 

A lot of people have asked for proof, which is difficult, though many psychological studies have been done in the area. I'd like to quote (it may be a bit dense to read for some people) a scholarly opinion (note that this is an opinion based on results of scientific studies, not the conclusive results of a scientific study):

 

 

 

Baumrind et al. (2002) ended their article by saying that the results I presented do not support a ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬Åblanket injunctionÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

[dark_ice]

seriously, if you were good parents, you wouldnt need to spank them.

 

 

 

Can I get an actual parent's affirmation on this unsubstantial opinion? Maybe good parents are the ones that spank their children, and not the other way around.

 

 

 

Word Insane. I think a good parent is one who takes the necessary measures to ensure their child knows right from wrong and how to behave etc..whether that includes simple grounding or spanking. Whatever punishment that is necessary to get the point through.

[WutangFlu]

seriously, if you were good parents, you wouldnt need to spank them.

 

 

 

Can I get an actual parent's affirmation on this unsubstantial opinion? Maybe good parents are the ones that spank their children, and not the other way around.

 

 

 

Word Insane. I think a good parent is one who takes the necessary measures to ensure their child knows right from wrong and how to behave etc..whether that includes simple grounding or spanking. Whatever punishment that is necessary to get the point through.

 

 

 

mhm... they cant learn anything without a action/reaction/response type of thing.

[katha610]

seriously, if you were good parents, you wouldnt need to spank them.

 

 

 

Can I get an actual parent's affirmation on this unsubstantial opinion? Maybe good parents are the ones that spank their children, and not the other way around.

 

 

 

Word Insane. I think a good parent is one who takes the necessary measures to ensure their child knows right from wrong and how to behave etc..whether that includes simple grounding or spanking. Whatever punishment that is necessary to get the point through.

 

 

 

mhm... they cant learn anything without a action/reaction/response type of thing.

 

 

 

the response doesnt have to e spanking though... ( no offense)

 

 

 

action: not listening< example getting up before finished eating

 

reaction of parent: ( name of kid) please sit down and eat your food if

 

you do not there will be no (tv or being grounded tomorrow or staying in room alone al evening.. any kind of punishment)

 

response of kid: go and eat or accept punishment

[How2PK]

Oh, this doesn't make much sense, but it sounds good so I'll just say it:

 

 

 

A spanking a day keeps the doctor away.

 

 

 

Heh, I'm so funny. I'm just laughing when I'm typing this.

[ndn3master]

Don't you guys rember the old chinese proverb "He that spareth the rod spoileth his child" Its very true.

[Anesthesia]

It's perfectly possible to raise a well behaved and well adjusted child without hitting them, so why should it be allowed? Spanking is chosen by parents who can't raise their child without hitting them and that's because the parents can't do a good enough job.

[azntemplar_00]

Don't you guys rember the old chinese proverb "He that spareth the rod spoileth his child" Its very true.

 

 

 

I'm assuming that's a translation. 'spareth' sounds somewhat like old english :P

[Faux]

Sorry about my one word post earlier, didn't have time to expand on it.

 

 

 

My parents spanked me when I was younger. It's been years since I was last spanked and I understand why they did that. I love them and respect them now. And no, they're far from 'bad' parents and I know what they've sacrificed just so me and my siblings can live happily. From experience, they did a pretty darn good in raising us. If anything, I think my youngest sibling needs more spanking.

[assassin_696]

I'd say that spanking should always be used as a last resort if it has to. Generally i'd say spanking isn't necessary, but i've come across some pretty god-awful children that i think would have a lot more respect for their parents and society if they were given the odd spanking.

[deloriagod]

It's perfectly possible to raise a well behaved and well adjusted child without hitting them, so why should it be allowed? Spanking is chosen by parents who can't raise their child without hitting them and that's because the parents can't do a good enough job.

 

 

 

So you're saying my parents couldn't do a good enough job raising me?

 

 

 

I came out fine with spanking, and might not have if I hadn't been. (and I gotta say the belt smarts...)

 

 

 

I support spanking because of these parents who don't raise their kids right at all. The one's who have kids running around a store screaming or cursing at them. Honestly, there's no way I'd want to raise a kid if there's other kids around cursing at their parents and others. A good spanking has nothing to do with being a bad parent, it's just a more forceful disipline, that is very effective.

 

 

 

If you think spanking is for bad parents then you should go hang around in a store some day and see if you can point out the ones that have never been spanked. (No, they're not the ones walking calming beside their parents, unless those parents did a hell of a good job. which is very uncommon these days)

[Anesthesia]

I didn't say anything about you not being raised properly. I said that spanking is the easy way out, for parents who couldn't do it without spanking them. If it is possible to raise a child without hurting them then WHY hurt them? Because its an easy way out, because it would be too much effort to do it without hurting them.

 

 

 

There are millions of children who were raised well and without spanking, that fact alone proves that it is possible to do it. When you know it is possible and it is your child in question - what sort of person would choose to hurt them? Why would you choose to hurt your own child if its possible to raise them without doing it?

[Bloodyrb]

Ive been spanked all my life and now have learned not to do what's wrong...its effective..Ive threatened to call the police on my dad, but the look he gives me after that makes feel like not calling them :o

 

 

 

 

 

My dad would send me out to the woods, get a thin branch...make ME strip the leaves and he would hit me with that lol

 

 

 

LOL

[Giordano]

Think of spanking not as a punishment, but as displne. In order to control a kid, you got to displne him. Spanking is one of the first steps to make hims learn. Spank the kid AFTER he/she's done something wrong of course.

 

It also depends on the person. I have only been probably been spanked 5 times my ENTIRE life. I've been smart enough to listen to my parents and do the right thing. Kids nowadays are being more and more bad.

[bjbj1991]

OK I am changing my position from a real life event that just happend, I now consider spanking to be unjust in any event.

 

 

 

 

 

For simplicity and to acomudate tip's no naming rule I have abreviated their names to a random letter. Is that ok? None of them use this forum,and I have asked my friend if it would be ok.

 

 

 

My friend = A, 14 years old

 

His oldest brother=J, 10 years old

 

The little brother=E, an imature 5 year old

 

Mom/Dad are both 35 years old

 

 

 

A's friend's parents had been devorced and living with their mom. A month ago she had lost her job and their dad had to move in to help pay rent.

 

 

 

One week ago my J came by my house in the middle of the night and he needed a place to stay for a few days. He had gotten in a massive fight with his dad, he had pinned him down and was punching him. 2 days after this his mom kicked his dad out and the J left.

 

 

 

Yesterday when his mom got home she had left the J and E alone and they aparently got in a fight. When his mom got home from the store she found J holding E down is a way identical to how his dad had done earlier.

 

 

 

 

 

Their dad now only has suppervised visitation rights. And J has summer school plus was grounded for 2 weeks so his summer is gone. Would this be a happy ending or a bad one? Depends on how you look at it.

[deloriagod]

If it is possible to raise a child without hurting them then WHY hurt them? Because its an easy way out, because it would be too much effort to do it without hurting them.

 

 

 

I have to say a good smack here and there isn't gonna scar them for llfe.

 

And taking the easy way out isn't always a bad thing. If you punish them in some other way then you have to stick to it and be sure they don't try to get out of it. And when they get mouthy about it, then what? Double the punishment or spank them? I'd rather set them straight the first time, and not have to worry them doing it again.

[Bmw]

Here's my view, when I was growing up (as a young child). Many of my friends are from various places of the world, from Korea to Trinidad, Russia etc etc. We've always found it hilarious when some Canadian guy would be crying at school for getting in trouble at home. The usual complaint was, "My dad gave me a FIRM TALKING TO!". Lol.

 

 

 

When you get to that age, 13 or so, of course bad things happen. However, I truly believe many of me and my friends at that time chose not to do things because of the consequences afterwards. The worst part about everything, regardless of how stupid we may have looked, was knowing that we'd have to come home and face our parents after it. I dunno, but if my parents were only going to give me a "firm talking to", It would have been so much easier to do bad things as a child. There would be no element of fear there.

 

 

 

In addition, I find it amusing when people get grounded. I've never gotten grounded in my life, not because I haven't done stupid things in my time (which, sadly I have), but because my parents don't have the word "grounded" in their vocabulary. Ooohh, I can't watch TV or go outside...big deal. If you did it anyways, what would your parents do? Double ground you? A SUPER firm talking to? Lol. Funny.

 

 

 

If done properly, by sensible parents (as I said before), beating your kids simply works. I'm saying that based on what I've seen from myself, and many people around me. This is all my own opinion.

[MyPurpleCrayon]

WHY hurt them? Because its an easy way out, because it would be too much effort to do it without hurting them.

 

 

 

Yes, because spanking a child is much more effortless than grouding them. :-s

[xJakex]

I was hit when I was a kid, and now I'm perfect. I'm all for it, if my kids ever step out of line, I'll hit em with the fear card.

 

 

 

(by the way, I'm not that big-headed. :))

[Anesthesia]

WHY hurt them? Because its an easy way out, because it would be too much effort to do it without hurting them.

 

 

 

Yes, because spanking a child is much more effortless than grouding them. :-s

 

 

 

Hit them once and it takes a couple of seconds; ground them and you have to make the punishment stick over however long, putting up with their moans and so on. However that is largely irrelevant - at least where I come from the age for grounding starts pretty much when the age for spanking would end.

[jessica1608]

i was smacked as a child, and it has done me much good. i learnt what was acceptable and where my limits were. i am now a much better person than some people i know who weren't disciplined in that way.

 

 

 

grounding doesn't work. you can always find a way around it if you're clever enough

[Guest GhostRanger]

Good points on both sides. I'd like to throw up this question though.

 

 

 

If spanking is considered physical abuse to a child, why is grounding them and putting them in solitary confinement not considered psychological abuse? Both are methods of manipulating the child's mind and emotions so that they won't do the bad deed again - so why is one form more "humane" than another?

[Anesthesia]

One could hit a child too hard by accident and cause some damage, they could also hit a child and knock them over into something. Grounding, on the other hand, takes a long time - if someone started keeping their child locked in a room for example they would have plenty of time to reconsider before it became extreme.

 

 

 

It doesn't answer your question, but it is another difference between the two.

[konnan4444]

It's all about intimidation. When I was my parents spanked me. The way I see is it's like the same thing that getting in a fight and getting your a** kicked. You learned a lesson and you won't act the way you did or you will get your a** kicked again. If you parents spank you next time you want to do something stupid you will think about it twice before doing it again. Grounding doesnt work. Most parents give up after a day or two.

[Faux]

I first heard of grounding in a movie before, I think I laughed a little

 

 

 

"boohoo guys, i cant watch the tv lols" 8-[

 

 

 

"2 WEEKS?!? :noes: " :wall: