"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[aquariusman]

If I were you, I'd sleep (atleast) a few nights over it, make sure it is what it is. Then meet her perhaps, in a very not commiting form, just chat, hang out, whatever. Then (since I get the feeling you're not too sure at all, and don't want to jump on it and regret it) sleep on it a few more nights. And conclude.

 

Repeat if needed.

 

 

 

Just the way I see it.

 

I've done that already. That's why I'm still completely uncertain. I go to school with her, we're close friends, we still talk every so often (But we both agree we need to actually talk more). So pretty much the only thing I think I can do is just wait and keep on going like I've been going, or at least plan on going.

[Romy]

If I were you, I'd sleep (atleast) a few nights over it, make sure it is what it is. Then meet her perhaps, in a very not commiting form, just chat, hang out, whatever. Then (since I get the feeling you're not too sure at all, and don't want to jump on it and regret it) sleep on it a few more nights. And conclude.

 

Repeat if needed.

 

 

 

Just the way I see it.

 

I've done that already. That's why I'm still completely uncertain. I go to school with her, we're close friends, we still talk every so often (But we both agree we need to actually talk more). So pretty much the only thing I think I can do is just wait and keep on going like I've been going, or at least plan on going.

 

Do you think she shares the same feelings for you?

[Maleficus1055]

I found out some bad things, TIF. Its 5am, I haven't slept.

 

I was talking to a friend and she told me what she found out, my ex left me for one of my best friends, Cody. They got together the day she dumped me. Cody had been texting her and manipulating her in our last few weeks together and basically made her like him. I texted my ex and here's our conversation. Backstory: I was her first boyfriend. We dated nearly 9 months. I gave her her first kiss and took her to prom. We never had sex, she was always too nervous. Her parents are also insane and don't allow her to talk to boys, we had a very hard relationship but during it we thought it was worth it. Here's our conversation. I'm A:, she's B.

[hide]

A: I need to talk to you, and I want you to be 100% honest with me please.

 

B: Ok

 

A: What made you leave me for Cody?

 

B: I just felt like my feelings for you were fading and my feelings for cody were growing.

 

A: And meanwhile all the times I asked you about Cody, worrying if he was trying to get you, you lied and he wasn't just talking to you as a friend.

 

B: He was back then, a good majority of our talking was me helping him get over Keely (his ex).

 

A: Do you realise how bad he treated keely. I told you what he did to her, he told everyone what they had done and spread nude pictures of her after they broke up. He's terrible to girls.

 

B: well he hasn't treated me badly at all yet and keely didn't seem to mind us either. She let me use her phone to text him when my parents had mine.

 

A: That's because you're with him. Why did you tell me the relationship would be too hard to hold over summer when obviously you can.

 

B: Its much easier to see him than it is to see you.

 

A: Why?

 

B: Because he lives alot closer and when he's at his moms house then hes only a couple streets away from me.

 

A: So everything I did for you and we did - me being the best boyfriend i could, treating you amazingly, prom, your first kiss, our first date, all the days together - did all of those mean so little to yo than you can leave me on a whim to get together with him immediately afterward?

 

B: Those were all amazing times and i will never regret any of them, but i cant exactly control my emotions for people.

 

A: Your emotions were swayed by Cody. Theres no way you were talking about keely and decided to leave me. He obviously had to start talking to you in a way to make you start to like him, and it was while we were still together. Why did you let him?

 

B: We didnt stop talking about keely untiil a lot later. and i didnt leave you JUST to be with him. my feelings for you had been fading little by little.

 

A: But you got with him immediately after. So you two disappeared on monday during band camp and he lives close to you. Are you still a virgin? Have you done anything sexual?

 

B: no im not a virgin. yes we had sex.

 

A: (This is where i got really angry and started to cry at the same time) why? You've hardly been with him, why would you? I thought you had morals.

 

B: I guess it was just the heat of the moment. but when i told him to stop he did. so it didnt last very long.

 

A: The heat of the moment. youre with the guy for half a week and its the heat of the moment. im disappointed in you. Did you ever cheat on me?

 

B: No. I really need to sleep, i have a long day today.

 

A: This wont be much longer

 

B: Okay.

 

A: No matter what you feel now, this is going to be a regret in your life. People are already mad at you. When more find out, more will. You've already lost a lot of friends and you're going to lose a lot more. Cody as well, as little as he has after keely. I dont know how you can sleep at night feeling good about yourself after what youve done, the kind of things youre now doing. I have the power to ruin life. I could spread pictures of you - but i wont. I can go to your parents workplace and tell them what you've done, you'll never see the light of day again. I'm quite tempted on that one actually, you lost your virginity to a man who WILL hurt you. For now, I wont though. I dont know whats going through your mi,d but as I sit here heartbroken, youre going to regret this period in your life.

 

B: I dont really know what to say. youre threatening to sabotage my life? Why dont you just let me live my life? im sorry i broke your heart, but i wouldve broken up with you eventually.

 

A: No, im not. Im saying I have the power to. But unlike your new boyfriend, i cant do that to you, im not that type of person. Im letting you know that i wont. I hope youll realise when Cody breaks YOUR heart and [bleep]s you over as he did to keely, what you let go of. I have no respect for you anymore, and I hope you wont do anything more youll regret later. Goodnight, and have a nice life.

 

[/hide]

 

 

Feels bad man. Im going to try to go to a friends house tomorrow and talk it out with her, I need a friend really badly right now.

[Romy]

To be perfectly honest, she doesn't deserve you, and you know it.

 

 

Your feelings for her will fade off at some point too, so the best advice I can give you, is to ignore every part of her, not let yourself down because of her.

Honestly, girls in their teen years can be the worst devils, I suggest you just ignore your feelings for her till those go away.

 

 

 

And I'd drop contact with that "friend" too, if I were you.

[Maleficus1055]

To be perfectly honest, she doesn't deserve you, and you know it.

 

 

Your feelings for her will fade off at some point too, so the best advice I can give you, is to ignore every part of her, not let yourself down because of her.

Honestly, girls in their teen years can be the worst devils, I suggest you just ignore your feelings for her till those go away.

 

My feelings actually completely faded until tonight when I learned that. Now it isn't really sadness, it's just anger because she was so stupid to be manipulated like that. I actually found a girl i've started to like and one of my other close friends is going to try and hook us up and get the hint in that i like her.

 

There is good coming out of this, im getting such a [cabbage]storm of pity that everyones being nice to me and stuff. Every girl is telling me I was basically the best boyfriend they had ever seen, she didn't deserve me, and i'll get a better girl. Also, everyone is going to/already hates the two of them.

[Rainy_Day]

To be perfectly honest, she doesn't deserve you, and you know it.

 

 

Your feelings for her will fade off at some point too, so the best advice I can give you, is to ignore every part of her, not let yourself down because of her.

Honestly, girls in their teen years can be the worst devils, I suggest you just ignore your feelings for her till those go away.

 

 

 

And I'd drop contact with that "friend" too, if I were you.

 

Basically this. The way she treated you is terrible, to be honest. Don't raise your hopes for this girl, you can do far better.

[Romy]

For a good reason. He's the worst friend anyone could ask for, and she's just a [bleep], to put it bluntly.

 

 

It's good that you're already after someone else. It's a cliché, but she really does not deserve you.

[Maleficus1055]

Yeah, we basically had a small-knit group of me, him, and 3 other friends. I've told the other 3 what happened, everyone is dropping him in the cold. Everyone else already hates him for what he did to his ex.

 

The someone else i like is whos house i may be going to tomorrow to try and talk, we're close friends. Her best friend is going to try to hook us up, and hopefully this all works out. i've now dropped communication with my ex and "friend" entirely. Good riddance.

[Romy]

Amen.

 

 

You have any virtual TIF support too if you want it. :XD:

[Maleficus1055]

Surprisingly, this virtual TIF support is amazing at times.

[obfuscator]

I'll add to the virtual support here - as much as it sucks having something like that happen it gives a good reason of not what to look for in your future relationships, and I'm sure there will be others.

 

What a [bleep].

[Maleficus1055]

I'll add to the virtual support here - as much as it sucks having something like that happen it gives a good reason of not what to look for in your future relationships, and I'm sure there will be others.

 

What a [bleep].

 

Exactly, after her, my ideal girl would now be:

SANE parents that dont mind her having a boyfriend

Strong-willed, not easily swayed

Sexually open, but not whorey.

[hide]boobs that arent an a-cup xD[/hide]

 

This friend I like fits all of that ^_^

[Furah]

boobs that arent an a-cup xD

Do my small breasts offend you?

[Maleficus1055]

boobs that arent an a-cup xD

Do my small breasts offend you?

 

Yes, please grow them or I wont sex you any more.

[RpgGamer]

Ah, maleficus. We now share something in common :P

 

chicks man...

 

[bleep] that [bleep]. Get yourself a new one. As it seems like you're already in the process of doing. Which is great :thumbup:. For some reason girls just give into the "bad" guy. On a more manipulative level, this isn't the first time I've seen a relationship progression go from "I have a boy friend" -> "I'll help you get over your ex" -> "OOPS we had sex" -> "Want to date?". There's something about the "I need help getting over my ex" angle that really seems to make highschool age girls jump in bed. I just don't get how so many of them fall for such stupid crap.

 

I got your virtual back, buddy :D

We're here for ya

[Omar]

Find another girl and stop thinking about her. You've been given obvious proof that she's not as good as you thought. Don't linger, find something even better.

[Giordano]

That's what I never understood about dating. You have to have multiple relationships (not at the same time), have sex frequently, enjoy yourself- but when someone else does that, they're the immoral son of a [bleep]?

 

I'm not trying to devalue feelings and such but this always happens I just have to ask.

[Maleficus1055]

That's what I never understood about dating. You have to have multiple relationships (not at the same time), have sex frequently, enjoy yourself- but when someone else does that, they're the immoral son of a [bleep]?

 

I'm not trying to devalue feelings and such but this always happens I just have to ask.

 

I don't go by the whole "dating" thing. I see if you're going on dates with a guy/girl, you only go on dates with them and have sex with them, etc. If you want to see different people stop seeing them.

[Giordano]

Correct. So why, to everybody else, is Maleficus' ex is a bleep?

[Maleficus1055]

Correct. So why, to everybody else, is Maleficus' ex is a bleep?

 

She left me after 9 months, got with a guy who manipulated her the same day she dumped me on a whim and proceeded to lose her virginity to this guy in like 3-4 days of being with him.

[Giordano]

But isn't that, technically, nothing wrong? She didn't want to see you so she did. I don't blame you on how you feel, I would be pissed too, but according to the norms she didn't do anything technically wrong.

 

I also want to say that this is nothing personal against you Mal, I can't tell wheither you see that or not, but your situation brought my question up with revelance.

[Maleficus1055]

But isn't that, technically, nothing wrong? She didn't want to see you so she did. I don't blame you on how you feel, I would be pissed too, but according to the norms she didn't do anything technically wrong.

 

I also want to say that this is nothing personal against you Mal, I can't tell wheither you see that or not, but your situation brought my question up with revelance.

 

Meh, if you want to look at it that way. But look at it from the standpoint of a human with emotions and empathy (right word?), and its wrong.

[rangeor]

But isn't that, technically, nothing wrong? She didn't want to see you so she did. I don't blame you on how you feel, I would be pissed too, but according to the norms she didn't do anything technically wrong.

 

I also want to say that this is nothing personal against you Mal, I can't tell wheither you see that or not, but your situation brought my question up with revelance.

She had a relationship with one person, and then another relationship with another person afterward. Is that fine? Well of course! But she started the second relationship while still in the first relationship, and also lost her virginity stupidly and selfishly. I mean, you think a high schooler banging a guy she just got into earlier that week is perfectly fine according to social norms? That's what makes her bad. It's not like this is a hard concept to get :l

[Giordano]

Calm down, I'm just talking in theory. All the sex-glorified, manly gurus, enjoy yourself mentality of society seems to forget about the people who get the short end of the stick.

 

But if we add restrictions to protect people, we're the moral high horse idealists. Loose them, and double standards pop up everywhere.

 

The ideas I'm talking about are not my own, mine would be too conservative for this thread, but just ideas in theory. (According to society)

[Maleficus1055]

EDIT: Sorry for my sporadic taking over of this thread with all my posts >.<

Just expect me to be back detailing any progress I get with the new girl :)

 

 

 

 

Interesting. I was gonna go to my friend who I like's house today to vent but couldn't so we texted. My ex was one of her best friends and shes really pissed at her too now, says shes gonna stop talking to her. She went on to say im an amazing guy and deserve so much better, which brightened my day ^.^

Now another close friend of mine, HER BEST friend who she listens to whatever she says is going to try and set up a double date for me. Her friend is the one that says i'm a genuine and great guy, which is rare these days, and most girls would love to have me. Not too sure about that with some girls, but with the girl I like its true. I really hope this works, its making a [cabbage]ty day into a happy one :)

 

 

Also after all this I walked in here to type this and my iTunes just happened to be playing Andi Deris' Come in From the Rain. I sat down to these lyrics:

[hide=perfect timing on lyrics, made me smile.]Take my money, take my pride

Take my little piece of mind

It's alright

Lead me to a better life

Where I'm loved and where I'm wise

It's alright

Now I can see your signs of change[/hide]