"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[decebal]

Wow... after a storm of problems, you are seeing the light in all its glory, eh?

 

My stand on this: be angry on your friend, be disappointed in your ex. A guy really shouldn't even TRY to ask her out, and manipulating your girlfriend while you were still dating. That's the part that got me.

 

As for your ex-girlfriend, I cannot say she deserves everyone to judge her a lot, however she does deserve some criticism. What she did was understandable, until the part of losing her virginity to a guy she dated/hanged out with for 3-4 days.

 

But hey, if she ever gets her heart broken by the [wagon], just send her a text message saying only "told ya". WIll make her realize the [cabbage] she got herself into.

 

But hey, this publicity will get you a girlfriend quite easily. If they haven't realized it before, they now know that you are a very nice guy that won't cheat on them.

[K4ylan]

Wow... after a storm of problems, you are seeing the light in all its glory, eh?

 

My stand on this: be angry on your friend, be disappointed in your ex. A guy really shouldn't even TRY to ask her out, and manipulating your girlfriend while you were still dating. That's the part that got me.

 

As for your ex-girlfriend, I cannot say she deserves everyone to judge her a lot, however she does deserve some criticism. What she did was understandable, until the part of losing her virginity to a guy she dated/hanged out with for 3-4 days.

 

But hey, if she ever gets her heart broken by the [wagon], just send her a text message saying only "told ya". WIll make her realize the [cabbage] she got herself into.

 

But hey, this publicity will get you a girlfriend quite easily. If they haven't realized it before, they now know that you are a very nice guy that won't cheat on them.

 

That would make him look less like a nice guy and more of an [wagon]

[Lenticular_J]

Best thing is to ignore it all and forget about it. If they're around, be cordial.

 

Of course, if your friend starts bragging about it, you're perfectly in the right to kick his ass. Walking away might be a better option, as other friends will probably follow you for being the better person. But, hey. We're animals. We need to knock the [cabbage] out of one another every now and then.

[Iamdan]

A 'close friend' went behind your back and got your girlfriend? That's pretty [bleep]ing dog, I concur: kick his ass.

 

I can see how she hurt you, but I can understand it from her point of view. She really didn't do anything wrong apart from the fact that he's your friend, which you don't seem to be bothered by.

 

She's right when she says she can't control who she feels attraction for - and if that attraction is strong enough to make her get with him straight away and have sex, then so be it. The guy was no more manipulative than anybody else who is attracted to another person - if you're attracted, you want them to be attracted to you too. You obviously start doing things to try and achieve that. When you said all those things to her, it was much more likely that you just drew her closer to him than that you made her feel bad or worried her that you have dirt on her.

 

I know justifying it doesn't change anything, but you were talking about empathy so it might help you let go faster if you see where she was coming from.

 

lost her virginity stupidly and selfishly

wut

[decebal]

Wow... after a storm of problems, you are seeing the light in all its glory, eh?

 

My stand on this: be angry on your friend, be disappointed in your ex. A guy really shouldn't even TRY to ask her out, and manipulating your girlfriend while you were still dating. That's the part that got me.

 

As for your ex-girlfriend, I cannot say she deserves everyone to judge her a lot, however she does deserve some criticism. What she did was understandable, until the part of losing her virginity to a guy she dated/hanged out with for 3-4 days.

 

But hey, if she ever gets her heart broken by the [wagon], just send her a text message saying only "told ya". WIll make her realize the [cabbage] she got herself into.

 

But hey, this publicity will get you a girlfriend quite easily. If they haven't realized it before, they now know that you are a very nice guy that won't cheat on them.

 

That would make him look less like a nice guy and more of an [wagon]

That is, if she still remembers him saying that.

 

If not, reminding is the best way to make her realize her deeds.

[Iamdan]

I don't see how 'reminding her' is a good way to go. When you talk [cabbage] about somebody she is seeing, you push her closer to him and look like an [wagon]. When you rub it in after they break up, you alienate her and look like an [wagon] again.

[RpgGamer]

Best thing is to ignore it all and forget about it. If they're around, be cordial.

 

 

This to the furthest extent. I understand your upset, and will enjoy ranting about this stuff for a while. But your best off dropping it, and letting it rot in the corner of your mind until it disappears forever. You keep mentioning "close friends" and 'BEST friends'. This implies that you are in an environment of a very close-knit group. Tat's all fine and dandy, but by the sound of things, hell is breaking out and the dynamics of that group that everyone seems to have some strong connection to is falling apart. If that group is to retain anybody's will to stick around, you and everyone else are going to have to forget about alot of this highschool-cliche drama crap. I say this from personal experience. We both got the short end of the stick, but I think you and I are handling it a tad differently. You're already moving on with new interests and progressing, but similar to me, you seem to have a lot of rage left. I'm finding myself in and out of rages, but they've become much much less frequent. As for the group dynamics...it sounds like you're just booting your ex and and your other 'friend'. For me, it's a little different. A few of us are moving out to college much further away, and the few that remain I have no interest in being around anymore [mainly my ex]. I'm off in search of a new social group to fit into. And seeing as how this is the begining of my college years, I'm cutting it close. Muggi makes Frats look like a great idea. But, I'm not gonna join one. Not yet anyway. I'm gonna see how freshman year pans out social wise. I'll be joining damn near everything, and hang around campus doing whatever. I got my fingers crossed, and with any stroke of luck I'll even meet the right girl for me. Cause I'm gettin' really sick of looking day in and day out with no results. [Yes, there were a few girls in the past few weeks or so...but due to a multitude of complications, nothing is working in my favor.]

 

Sorry...I ended up making that more about myself than I intended ^^;

[tripsis]

I found out some bad things, TIF. Its 5am, I haven't slept.

 

I was talking to a friend and she told me what she found out, my ex left me for one of my best friends, Cody. They got together the day she dumped me. Cody had been texting her and manipulating her in our last few weeks together and basically made her like him. I texted my ex and here's our conversation. Backstory: I was her first boyfriend. We dated nearly 9 months. I gave her her first kiss and took her to prom. We never had sex, she was always too nervous. Her parents are also insane and don't allow her to talk to boys, we had a very hard relationship but during it we thought it was worth it. Here's our conversation. I'm A:, she's B.

[hide]

A: I need to talk to you, and I want you to be 100% honest with me please.

 

B: Ok

 

A: What made you leave me for Cody?

 

B: I just felt like my feelings for you were fading and my feelings for cody were growing.

 

A: And meanwhile all the times I asked you about Cody, worrying if he was trying to get you, you lied and he wasn't just talking to you as a friend.

 

B: He was back then, a good majority of our talking was me helping him get over Keely (his ex).

 

A: Do you realise how bad he treated keely. I told you what he did to her, he told everyone what they had done and spread nude pictures of her after they broke up. He's terrible to girls.

 

B: well he hasn't treated me badly at all yet and keely didn't seem to mind us either. She let me use her phone to text him when my parents had mine.

 

A: That's because you're with him. Why did you tell me the relationship would be too hard to hold over summer when obviously you can.

 

B: Its much easier to see him than it is to see you.

 

A: Why?

 

B: Because he lives alot closer and when he's at his moms house then hes only a couple streets away from me.

 

A: So everything I did for you and we did - me being the best boyfriend i could, treating you amazingly, prom, your first kiss, our first date, all the days together - did all of those mean so little to yo than you can leave me on a whim to get together with him immediately afterward?

 

B: Those were all amazing times and i will never regret any of them, but i cant exactly control my emotions for people.

 

A: Your emotions were swayed by Cody. Theres no way you were talking about keely and decided to leave me. He obviously had to start talking to you in a way to make you start to like him, and it was while we were still together. Why did you let him?

 

B: We didnt stop talking about keely untiil a lot later. and i didnt leave you JUST to be with him. my feelings for you had been fading little by little.

 

A: But you got with him immediately after. So you two disappeared on monday during band camp and he lives close to you. Are you still a virgin? Have you done anything sexual?

 

B: no im not a virgin. yes we had sex.

 

A: (This is where i got really angry and started to cry at the same time) why? You've hardly been with him, why would you? I thought you had morals.

 

B: I guess it was just the heat of the moment. but when i told him to stop he did. so it didnt last very long.

 

A: The heat of the moment. youre with the guy for half a week and its the heat of the moment. im disappointed in you. Did you ever cheat on me?

 

B: No. I really need to sleep, i have a long day today.

 

A: This wont be much longer

 

B: Okay.

 

A: No matter what you feel now, this is going to be a regret in your life. People are already mad at you. When more find out, more will. You've already lost a lot of friends and you're going to lose a lot more. Cody as well, as little as he has after keely. I dont know how you can sleep at night feeling good about yourself after what youve done, the kind of things youre now doing. I have the power to ruin life. I could spread pictures of you - but i wont. I can go to your parents workplace and tell them what you've done, you'll never see the light of day again. I'm quite tempted on that one actually, you lost your virginity to a man who WILL hurt you. For now, I wont though. I dont know whats going through your mi,d but as I sit here heartbroken, youre going to regret this period in your life.

 

B: I dont really know what to say. youre threatening to sabotage my life? Why dont you just let me live my life? im sorry i broke your heart, but i wouldve broken up with you eventually.

 

A: No, im not. Im saying I have the power to. But unlike your new boyfriend, i cant do that to you, im not that type of person. Im letting you know that i wont. I hope youll realise when Cody breaks YOUR heart and [bleep]s you over as he did to keely, what you let go of. I have no respect for you anymore, and I hope you wont do anything more youll regret later. Goodnight, and have a nice life.

 

[/hide]

 

 

Feels bad man. Im going to try to go to a friends house tomorrow and talk it out with her, I need a friend really badly right now.

Be mad at your "friend," not your ex-girlfriend. She's right, she can't help who she has feelings for. Would you have preferred that she stayed with you when she had no more affection for you and was attracted to someone else? I honestly don't see anything wrong with her getting together with someone else right away. I was in a similar situation once. She said her affections for you had been waning for quite some time and clearly her affections for your friend had been growing. It doesn't make sense for her to break up with you and then be single for a few weeks just for the sake of it when she clearly likes someone else and has liked him for a while.

 

But your "friend" was completely out of line for trying to steal your girlfriend when she was with you... No true friend would do that.

 

Now suddenly changing her morals/whatever and having sex with him right away was silly.. but that's her business, her fault. Not worth getting upset over imo. It's not like she cheated on you or anything. So I definitely don't see that as an attack against you. It's totally her decision so while you could be disappointed in her, there's no reason to be MAD at her.

 

I understand that you're hurting but I think most of the pain/anger just comes from losing someone that you love. It's hard but you will make it through.

[RpgGamer]

I found out some bad things, TIF. Its 5am, I haven't slept.

 

I was talking to a friend and she told me what she found out, my ex left me for one of my best friends, Cody. They got together the day she dumped me. Cody had been texting her and manipulating her in our last few weeks together and basically made her like him. I texted my ex and here's our conversation. Backstory: I was her first boyfriend. We dated nearly 9 months. I gave her her first kiss and took her to prom. We never had sex, she was always too nervous. Her parents are also insane and don't allow her to talk to boys, we had a very hard relationship but during it we thought it was worth it. Here's our conversation. I'm A:, she's B.

[hide]

A: I need to talk to you, and I want you to be 100% honest with me please.

 

B: Ok

 

A: What made you leave me for Cody?

 

B: I just felt like my feelings for you were fading and my feelings for cody were growing.

 

A: And meanwhile all the times I asked you about Cody, worrying if he was trying to get you, you lied and he wasn't just talking to you as a friend.

 

B: He was back then, a good majority of our talking was me helping him get over Keely (his ex).

 

A: Do you realise how bad he treated keely. I told you what he did to her, he told everyone what they had done and spread nude pictures of her after they broke up. He's terrible to girls.

 

B: well he hasn't treated me badly at all yet and keely didn't seem to mind us either. She let me use her phone to text him when my parents had mine.

 

A: That's because you're with him. Why did you tell me the relationship would be too hard to hold over summer when obviously you can.

 

B: Its much easier to see him than it is to see you.

 

A: Why?

 

B: Because he lives alot closer and when he's at his moms house then hes only a couple streets away from me.

 

A: So everything I did for you and we did - me being the best boyfriend i could, treating you amazingly, prom, your first kiss, our first date, all the days together - did all of those mean so little to yo than you can leave me on a whim to get together with him immediately afterward?

 

B: Those were all amazing times and i will never regret any of them, but i cant exactly control my emotions for people.

 

A: Your emotions were swayed by Cody. Theres no way you were talking about keely and decided to leave me. He obviously had to start talking to you in a way to make you start to like him, and it was while we were still together. Why did you let him?

 

B: We didnt stop talking about keely untiil a lot later. and i didnt leave you JUST to be with him. my feelings for you had been fading little by little.

 

A: But you got with him immediately after. So you two disappeared on monday during band camp and he lives close to you. Are you still a virgin? Have you done anything sexual?

 

B: no im not a virgin. yes we had sex.

 

A: (This is where i got really angry and started to cry at the same time) why? You've hardly been with him, why would you? I thought you had morals.

 

B: I guess it was just the heat of the moment. but when i told him to stop he did. so it didnt last very long.

 

A: The heat of the moment. youre with the guy for half a week and its the heat of the moment. im disappointed in you. Did you ever cheat on me?

 

B: No. I really need to sleep, i have a long day today.

 

A: This wont be much longer

 

B: Okay.

 

A: No matter what you feel now, this is going to be a regret in your life. People are already mad at you. When more find out, more will. You've already lost a lot of friends and you're going to lose a lot more. Cody as well, as little as he has after keely. I dont know how you can sleep at night feeling good about yourself after what youve done, the kind of things youre now doing. I have the power to ruin life. I could spread pictures of you - but i wont. I can go to your parents workplace and tell them what you've done, you'll never see the light of day again. I'm quite tempted on that one actually, you lost your virginity to a man who WILL hurt you. For now, I wont though. I dont know whats going through your mi,d but as I sit here heartbroken, youre going to regret this period in your life.

 

B: I dont really know what to say. youre threatening to sabotage my life? Why dont you just let me live my life? im sorry i broke your heart, but i wouldve broken up with you eventually.

 

A: No, im not. Im saying I have the power to. But unlike your new boyfriend, i cant do that to you, im not that type of person. Im letting you know that i wont. I hope youll realise when Cody breaks YOUR heart and [bleep]s you over as he did to keely, what you let go of. I have no respect for you anymore, and I hope you wont do anything more youll regret later. Goodnight, and have a nice life.

 

[/hide]

 

 

Feels bad man. Im going to try to go to a friends house tomorrow and talk it out with her, I need a friend really badly right now.

Be mad at your "friend," not your ex-girlfriend. She's right, she can't help who she has feelings for. Would you have preferred that she stayed with you when she had no more affection for you and was attracted to someone else? I honestly don't see anything wrong with her getting together with someone else right away. I was in a similar situation once. She said her affections for you had been waning for quite some time and clearly her affections for your friend had been growing. It doesn't make sense for her to break up with you and then be single for a few weeks just for the sake of it when she clearly likes someone else and has liked him for a while.

 

But your "friend" was completely out of line for trying to steal your girlfriend when she was with you... No true friend would do that.

 

Now suddenly changing her morals/whatever and having sex with him right away was silly.. but that's her business, her fault. Not worth getting upset over imo. It's not like she cheated on you or anything. So I definitely don't see that as an attack against you. It's totally her decision so while you could be disappointed in her, there's no reason to be MAD at her.

 

I understand that you're hurting but I think most of the pain/anger just comes from losing someone that you love. It's hard but you will make it through.

 

It probably wasn't any sort of "personal attack"...but if you've been on the otehr end of it, it sure as hell feels like it. And no amount of teary expanations can truly justify her actions. Sure, she may had waning feelings. But she made no attempt to stop that fact. Never brought it to his attention. Never gave him any sort of warning. And if she really gave a crap as to how he felt, she wouldn't go around sleeping with his 'friends' right after breaking his heart.

 

THAT's what's wrong with this picture. [probably where the "selfishly lost her virginity" was derived from, from the other post]

[Promise]

You know he's just gunna break her heart. Just let them be, and if what you've said is true, she'll get whats coming to her. It's sad she gave up her virginity that quickly, but you learn and live. You've learned about the people who you surround yourself with. Use it to your advantage, and keep it in your head the next time you look into a relationship. What kind of people does she hangout with, things like that. [/sentimental] All I can say is that don't use a solid bat, those are more likely to cause fatal injuries compared to the hallow ones. :thumbsup:

[tripsis]

Be mad at your "friend," not your ex-girlfriend. She's right, she can't help who she has feelings for. Would you have preferred that she stayed with you when she had no more affection for you and was attracted to someone else? I honestly don't see anything wrong with her getting together with someone else right away. I was in a similar situation once. She said her affections for you had been waning for quite some time and clearly her affections for your friend had been growing. It doesn't make sense for her to break up with you and then be single for a few weeks just for the sake of it when she clearly likes someone else and has liked him for a while.

 

But your "friend" was completely out of line for trying to steal your girlfriend when she was with you... No true friend would do that.

 

Now suddenly changing her morals/whatever and having sex with him right away was silly.. but that's her business, her fault. Not worth getting upset over imo. It's not like she cheated on you or anything. So I definitely don't see that as an attack against you. It's totally her decision so while you could be disappointed in her, there's no reason to be MAD at her.

 

I understand that you're hurting but I think most of the pain/anger just comes from losing someone that you love. It's hard but you will make it through.

 

It probably wasn't any sort of "personal attack"...but if you've been on the otehr end of it, it sure as hell feels like it. And no amount of teary expanations can truly justify her actions. Sure, she may had waning feelings. But she made no attempt to stop that fact. Never brought it to his attention. Never gave him any sort of warning. And if she really gave a crap as to how he felt, she wouldn't go around sleeping with his 'friends' right after breaking his heart.

 

THAT's what's wrong with this picture. [probably where the "selfishly lost her virginity" was derived from, from the other post]

You can't stop your affections from waning. You can't force yourself to love someone (i.e. she couldn't force her affections to stop waning and continue to love Maleficus). Yes she should have spoken to him if she knew what was going on at the time.. but maybe she didn't. I don't know her and I don't have a thorough understanding of what was happening, but you don't always know what your feelings are and how they're changing. Sometimes you won't have that thorough understanding until later when you can reflect on everything that happened. Perhaps she just wasn't really in a position to tell him how she was feeling. I don't know.. just kind of playing devil's advocate here. And I still don't see anything terribly wrong with the situation.

 

I do think she was an idiot for having sex with his friend, but for reasons other than the fact that she had just broken up with Maleficus. My reasons would be that she was an idiot because she clearly had strong opinions on sex before which lead me to believe that she was heavily encouraged into having sex (which is backed up by the fact that she cut the sex short), and also because they had only been "dating" for a week or whatever it was. But those all boil down to MY personal opinions and views on sex rather than her doing something wrong to Maleficus. Maybe that makes me an insensitive person, idk.. My ex certainly thought I was insensitive for starting another relationship right after I broke up with him.. but I see no point in remaining single or w/e just for the sake of it. If you have feelings for someone and no more feelings for your ex, I think you should be with the new person rather than sit around and wait for x amount of time to pass "just because."

[Maleficus1055]

Be mad at your "friend," not your ex-girlfriend. She's right, she can't help who she has feelings for. Would you have preferred that she stayed with you when she had no more affection for you and was attracted to someone else? I honestly don't see anything wrong with her getting together with someone else right away. I was in a similar situation once. She said her affections for you had been waning for quite some time and clearly her affections for your friend had been growing. It doesn't make sense for her to break up with you and then be single for a few weeks just for the sake of it when she clearly likes someone else and has liked him for a while.

 

But your "friend" was completely out of line for trying to steal your girlfriend when she was with you... No true friend would do that.

 

Now suddenly changing her morals/whatever and having sex with him right away was silly.. but that's her business, her fault. Not worth getting upset over imo. It's not like she cheated on you or anything. So I definitely don't see that as an attack against you. It's totally her decision so while you could be disappointed in her, there's no reason to be MAD at her.

 

I understand that you're hurting but I think most of the pain/anger just comes from losing someone that you love. It's hard but you will make it through.

 

It probably wasn't any sort of "personal attack"...but if you've been on the otehr end of it, it sure as hell feels like it. And no amount of teary expanations can truly justify her actions. Sure, she may had waning feelings. But she made no attempt to stop that fact. Never brought it to his attention. Never gave him any sort of warning. And if she really gave a crap as to how he felt, she wouldn't go around sleeping with his 'friends' right after breaking his heart.

 

THAT's what's wrong with this picture. [probably where the "selfishly lost her virginity" was derived from, from the other post]

You can't stop your affections from waning. You can't force yourself to love someone (i.e. she couldn't force her affections to stop waning and continue to love Maleficus). Yes she should have spoken to him if she knew what was going on at the time.. but maybe she didn't. I don't know her and I don't have a thorough understanding of what was happening, but you don't always know what your feelings are and how they're changing. Sometimes you won't have that thorough understanding until later when you can reflect on everything that happened. Perhaps she just wasn't really in a position to tell him how she was feeling. I don't know.. just kind of playing devil's advocate here. And I still don't see anything terribly wrong with the situation.

 

I do think she was an idiot for having sex with his friend, but for reasons other than the fact that she had just broken up with Maleficus. My reasons would be that she was an idiot because she clearly had strong opinions on sex before which lead me to believe that she was heavily encouraged into having sex (which is backed up by the fact that she cut the sex short), and also because they had only been "dating" for a week or whatever it was. But those all boil down to MY personal opinions and views on sex rather than her doing something wrong to Maleficus. Maybe that makes me an insensitive person, idk.. My ex certainly thought I was insensitive for starting another relationship right after I broke up with him.. but I see no point in remaining single or w/e just for the sake of it. If you have feelings for someone and no more feelings for your ex, I think you should be with the new person rather than sit around and wait for x amount of time to pass "just because."

 

 

She did have opinions against it, but this "friend" is a manipulative bastard and likely heavily forced it on her and she just accepted it.

 

 

 

Also, ladies and gentlemen, karmas a beautiful, beautiful [bleep]. A friend texted me a few things, she just said this over twitter to someone:

"I've been having the worst tummy aches ever for the past couple days and i've been bleeding a lot."

"isnt my period because that just ended like 2 weeks ago and ive been bled so much ive actually passed out a few times. im scared :("

 

 

 

Question: If she goes to the doctors office, since i guess shes planning to, will they be able to tell what happened to her? She'll pretty much become solitary when her parents find out.

[RpgGamer]

Be mad at your "friend," not your ex-girlfriend. She's right, she can't help who she has feelings for. Would you have preferred that she stayed with you when she had no more affection for you and was attracted to someone else? I honestly don't see anything wrong with her getting together with someone else right away. I was in a similar situation once. She said her affections for you had been waning for quite some time and clearly her affections for your friend had been growing. It doesn't make sense for her to break up with you and then be single for a few weeks just for the sake of it when she clearly likes someone else and has liked him for a while.

 

But your "friend" was completely out of line for trying to steal your girlfriend when she was with you... No true friend would do that.

 

Now suddenly changing her morals/whatever and having sex with him right away was silly.. but that's her business, her fault. Not worth getting upset over imo. It's not like she cheated on you or anything. So I definitely don't see that as an attack against you. It's totally her decision so while you could be disappointed in her, there's no reason to be MAD at her.

 

I understand that you're hurting but I think most of the pain/anger just comes from losing someone that you love. It's hard but you will make it through.

 

It probably wasn't any sort of "personal attack"...but if you've been on the otehr end of it, it sure as hell feels like it. And no amount of teary expanations can truly justify her actions. Sure, she may had waning feelings. But she made no attempt to stop that fact. Never brought it to his attention. Never gave him any sort of warning. And if she really gave a crap as to how he felt, she wouldn't go around sleeping with his 'friends' right after breaking his heart.

 

THAT's what's wrong with this picture. [probably where the "selfishly lost her virginity" was derived from, from the other post]

You can't stop your affections from waning. You can't force yourself to love someone (i.e. she couldn't force her affections to stop waning and continue to love Maleficus). Yes she should have spoken to him if she knew what was going on at the time.. but maybe she didn't. I don't know her and I don't have a thorough understanding of what was happening, but you don't always know what your feelings are and how they're changing. Sometimes you won't have that thorough understanding until later when you can reflect on everything that happened. Perhaps she just wasn't really in a position to tell him how she was feeling. I don't know.. just kind of playing devil's advocate here. And I still don't see anything terribly wrong with the situation.

 

I do think she was an idiot for having sex with his friend, but for reasons other than the fact that she had just broken up with Maleficus. My reasons would be that she was an idiot because she clearly had strong opinions on sex before which lead me to believe that she was heavily encouraged into having sex (which is backed up by the fact that she cut the sex short), and also because they had only been "dating" for a week or whatever it was. But those all boil down to MY personal opinions and views on sex rather than her doing something wrong to Maleficus. Maybe that makes me an insensitive person, idk.. My ex certainly thought I was insensitive for starting another relationship right after I broke up with him.. but I see no point in remaining single or w/e just for the sake of it. If you have feelings for someone and no more feelings for your ex, I think you should be with the new person rather than sit around and wait for x amount of time to pass "just because."

 

 

She did have opinions against it, but this "friend" is a manipulative bastard and likely heavily forced it on her and she just accepted it.

 

 

 

Also, ladies and gentlemen, karmas a beautiful, beautiful [bleep]. A friend texted me a few things, she just said this over twitter to someone:

"I've been having the worst tummy aches ever for the past couple days and i've been bleeding a lot."

"isnt my period because that just ended like 2 weeks ago and ive been bled so much ive actually passed out a few times. im scared "

 

 

 

Question: If she goes to the doctors office, since i guess shes planning to, will they be able to tell what happened to her? She'll pretty much become solitary when her parents find out.

 

I hate when that happens. [bleep] finially gets whats coming to her, and then you feel bad for her, and cave and feel worried about her, etc. I do the same bull crap. I really wish I didn't. it would make getting her out of my life so much easier...

 

[why the hell are all of my recent posts about myself?]

 

Don't worry about her. Obviously she's mature enough to have sex, she's responsible enoguh to make her own decisions and handle any subsequent consequences. And yes, the doctors will be able to clearly tell that she has had sex, and assuming that is the problem, they will probably tell her parents.

[Maleficus1055]

Be mad at your "friend," not your ex-girlfriend. She's right, she can't help who she has feelings for. Would you have preferred that she stayed with you when she had no more affection for you and was attracted to someone else? I honestly don't see anything wrong with her getting together with someone else right away. I was in a similar situation once. She said her affections for you had been waning for quite some time and clearly her affections for your friend had been growing. It doesn't make sense for her to break up with you and then be single for a few weeks just for the sake of it when she clearly likes someone else and has liked him for a while.

 

But your "friend" was completely out of line for trying to steal your girlfriend when she was with you... No true friend would do that.

 

Now suddenly changing her morals/whatever and having sex with him right away was silly.. but that's her business, her fault. Not worth getting upset over imo. It's not like she cheated on you or anything. So I definitely don't see that as an attack against you. It's totally her decision so while you could be disappointed in her, there's no reason to be MAD at her.

 

I understand that you're hurting but I think most of the pain/anger just comes from losing someone that you love. It's hard but you will make it through.

 

It probably wasn't any sort of "personal attack"...but if you've been on the otehr end of it, it sure as hell feels like it. And no amount of teary expanations can truly justify her actions. Sure, she may had waning feelings. But she made no attempt to stop that fact. Never brought it to his attention. Never gave him any sort of warning. And if she really gave a crap as to how he felt, she wouldn't go around sleeping with his 'friends' right after breaking his heart.

 

THAT's what's wrong with this picture. [probably where the "selfishly lost her virginity" was derived from, from the other post]

You can't stop your affections from waning. You can't force yourself to love someone (i.e. she couldn't force her affections to stop waning and continue to love Maleficus). Yes she should have spoken to him if she knew what was going on at the time.. but maybe she didn't. I don't know her and I don't have a thorough understanding of what was happening, but you don't always know what your feelings are and how they're changing. Sometimes you won't have that thorough understanding until later when you can reflect on everything that happened. Perhaps she just wasn't really in a position to tell him how she was feeling. I don't know.. just kind of playing devil's advocate here. And I still don't see anything terribly wrong with the situation.

 

I do think she was an idiot for having sex with his friend, but for reasons other than the fact that she had just broken up with Maleficus. My reasons would be that she was an idiot because she clearly had strong opinions on sex before which lead me to believe that she was heavily encouraged into having sex (which is backed up by the fact that she cut the sex short), and also because they had only been "dating" for a week or whatever it was. But those all boil down to MY personal opinions and views on sex rather than her doing something wrong to Maleficus. Maybe that makes me an insensitive person, idk.. My ex certainly thought I was insensitive for starting another relationship right after I broke up with him.. but I see no point in remaining single or w/e just for the sake of it. If you have feelings for someone and no more feelings for your ex, I think you should be with the new person rather than sit around and wait for x amount of time to pass "just because."

 

 

She did have opinions against it, but this "friend" is a manipulative bastard and likely heavily forced it on her and she just accepted it.

 

 

 

Also, ladies and gentlemen, karmas a beautiful, beautiful [bleep]. A friend texted me a few things, she just said this over twitter to someone:

"I've been having the worst tummy aches ever for the past couple days and i've been bleeding a lot."

"isnt my period because that just ended like 2 weeks ago and ive been bled so much ive actually passed out a few times. im scared "

 

 

 

Question: If she goes to the doctors office, since i guess shes planning to, will they be able to tell what happened to her? She'll pretty much become solitary when her parents find out.

 

I hate when that happens. [bleep] finially gets whats coming to her, and then you feel bad for her, and cave and feel worried about her, etc. I do the same bull crap. I really wish I didn't. it would make getting her out of my life so much easier...

 

[why the hell are all of my recent posts about myself?]

 

Don't worry about her. Obviously she's mature enough to have sex, she's responsible enoguh to make her own decisions and handle any subsequent consequences. And yes, the doctors will be able to clearly tell that she has had sex, and assuming that is the problem, they will probably tell her parents.

 

I'm not actually worrying, I want her parents to find out and for her to be locked up until she's 18. Then she'll hopefully start seeing sense and get away from this [bleep]er.

[Iamdan]

Don't worry about her. Obviously she's mature enough to have sex, she's responsible enoguh to make her own decisions and handle any subsequent consequences. And yes, the doctors will be able to clearly tell that she has had sex, and assuming that is the problem, they will probably tell her parents.

 

Nah they can't. The hymen can be torn in lots of ways, from masturbating to horse riding. A friend of a friend tore hers when she crashed on roller blades. They also aren't allowed to tell her parents anyway due to the confidentiality thing.

[Lenticular_J]

By the time a girl is 16 or so, it's probably mostly gone. A doctor could probably tell whether it was broken by sex or not, but, still.

[Adam007]

Ok guys, I need some major help.

 

So I've been going out with the girl for a little while. Physically I'm extremely attracted to her but I just do not enjoy having conversation with her very much. She doesn't get me but she's not aware of it. I feel like I have to dumb myself down talking to her and am constantly inner eye rolling. But she isn't aware of that, she feels like we're connecting, and I can't just say that she's intellectually just not on my level because emotionally we have been connecting. But again, I'm not sure if I can handle the lack of intellectual connection.

 

We live in the same area. She lives with her Dad and I'm a senior living at the nearby university. She is two years older than me and has temporarily dropped out of school because of grades and then because her mother recently died. Since it's the summer I'm back and forth between the university and the area where we both live so we can hang out once a week or so. I enjoy what we have but I will be graduating and going to a med school in a year from now. I like this as a summer fling but number one feel like she isn't 100% right for me. By committing to a long distance relationship of sorts, I would only be prolonging a relationship I'm not fully interested in pursuing long term.

 

The problem is that she is basically falling in love with me. And I do like spending time with her. But it's mostly physical. It got to the point today where I had to tell her that she has to decide if she can handle the possibility that the relationship will only be a short term thing. It's still very early and we don't consider ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I don't want to enter a serious relationship but I can't just tell her that she's not clicking with me because I would ruin her self-esteem by essentially calling her too stupid for me. She's currently in a very emotional state and possibly very clingy. Again I do enjoy spending time with her but what do you think I should do?

[Promise]

Ok guys, I need some major help.

 

So I've been going out with the girl for a little while. Physically I'm extremely attracted to her but I just do not enjoy having conversation with her very much. She doesn't get me but she's not aware of it. I feel like I have to dumb myself down talking to her and am constantly inner eye rolling. But she isn't aware of that, she feels like we're connecting, and I can't just say that she's intellectually just not on my level because emotionally we have been connecting. But again, I'm not sure if I can handle the lack of intellectual connection.

 

We live in the same area. She lives with her Dad and I'm a senior living at the nearby university. She is two years older than me and has temporarily dropped out of school because of grades and then because her mother recently died. Since it's the summer I'm back and forth between the university and the area where we both live so we can hang out once a week or so. I enjoy what we have but I will be graduating and going to a med school in a year from now. I like this as a summer fling but number one feel like she isn't 100% right for me. By committing to a long distance relationship of sorts, I would only be prolonging a relationship I'm not fully interested in pursuing long term.

 

The problem is that she is basically falling in love with me. And I do like spending time with her. But it's mostly physical. It got to the point today where I had to tell her that she has to decide if she can handle the possibility that the relationship will only be a short term thing. It's still very early and we don't consider ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I don't want to enter a serious relationship but I can't just tell her that she's not clicking with me because I would ruin her self-esteem by essentially calling her too stupid for me. She's currently in a very emotional state and possibly very clingy. Again I do enjoy spending time with her but what do you think I should do?

 

-Don't tell her you play runescape :-P

-Not everyone will be perfect for your, choosing the hot blond over the flat chested braniac is a decision you need to make up for yourself.

-Long distance is haaardddddd stuff. There will be a void of physical love in your life, and you will want it more and more. It drives you to the point where you will dump her and find someone else who will fill that void. Sad, but true.

-If i were you, just try it out. You won't loosing anything, even if its just a summer thing, atleaste you can try to have fun and make the most of it.

[Adam007]

Ok guys, I need some major help.

 

So I've been going out with the girl for a little while. Physically I'm extremely attracted to her but I just do not enjoy having conversation with her very much. She doesn't get me but she's not aware of it. I feel like I have to dumb myself down talking to her and am constantly inner eye rolling. But she isn't aware of that, she feels like we're connecting, and I can't just say that she's intellectually just not on my level because emotionally we have been connecting. But again, I'm not sure if I can handle the lack of intellectual connection.

 

We live in the same area. She lives with her Dad and I'm a senior living at the nearby university. She is two years older than me and has temporarily dropped out of school because of grades and then because her mother recently died. Since it's the summer I'm back and forth between the university and the area where we both live so we can hang out once a week or so. I enjoy what we have but I will be graduating and going to a med school in a year from now. I like this as a summer fling but number one feel like she isn't 100% right for me. By committing to a long distance relationship of sorts, I would only be prolonging a relationship I'm not fully interested in pursuing long term.

 

The problem is that she is basically falling in love with me. And I do like spending time with her. But it's mostly physical. It got to the point today where I had to tell her that she has to decide if she can handle the possibility that the relationship will only be a short term thing. It's still very early and we don't consider ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I don't want to enter a serious relationship but I can't just tell her that she's not clicking with me because I would ruin her self-esteem by essentially calling her too stupid for me. She's currently in a very emotional state and possibly very clingy. Again I do enjoy spending time with her but what do you think I should do?

 

-Don't tell her you play runescape :-P

-Not everyone will be perfect for your, choosing the hot blond over the flat chested braniac is a decision you need to make up for yourself.

-Long distance is haaardddddd stuff. There will be a void of physical love in your life, and you will want it more and more. It drives you to the point where you will dump her and find someone else who will fill that void. Sad, but true.

-If i were you, just try it out. You won't loosing anything, even if its just a summer thing, atleaste you can try to have fun and make the most of it.

I don't think I've explained well enough the complexity of the situation. I could tell her anything negative about me at this point but she's crazy about me so it wouldn't make a difference. I'm mostly looking to not hurt her. She's in a really emotional place right now and I don't think I can provide the support she needs once school starts. I enjoy spending time with her but know the longer we're together the harder she'll take it when we have to break up. Do we enjoy it while it lasts or do the responsible thing and break it off now so she doesn't get hurt down the road?

[Iamdan]

Ok guys, I need some major help.

 

So I've been going out with the girl for a little while. Physically I'm extremely attracted to her but I just do not enjoy having conversation with her very much. She doesn't get me but she's not aware of it. I feel like I have to dumb myself down talking to her and am constantly inner eye rolling. But she isn't aware of that, she feels like we're connecting, and I can't just say that she's intellectually just not on my level because emotionally we have been connecting. But again, I'm not sure if I can handle the lack of intellectual connection.

 

We live in the same area. She lives with her Dad and I'm a senior living at the nearby university. She is two years older than me and has temporarily dropped out of school because of grades and then because her mother recently died. Since it's the summer I'm back and forth between the university and the area where we both live so we can hang out once a week or so. I enjoy what we have but I will be graduating and going to a med school in a year from now. I like this as a summer fling but number one feel like she isn't 100% right for me. By committing to a long distance relationship of sorts, I would only be prolonging a relationship I'm not fully interested in pursuing long term.

 

The problem is that she is basically falling in love with me. And I do like spending time with her. But it's mostly physical. It got to the point today where I had to tell her that she has to decide if she can handle the possibility that the relationship will only be a short term thing. It's still very early and we don't consider ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I don't want to enter a serious relationship but I can't just tell her that she's not clicking with me because I would ruin her self-esteem by essentially calling her too stupid for me. She's currently in a very emotional state and possibly very clingy. Again I do enjoy spending time with her but what do you think I should do?

 

This sounds like a seinfeld episode.

 

To put it bluntly, you don't like her but she likes you and she's hot. Your brain is telling you no, but your penis is telling you oh god yes.

 

If you don't want to hurt her, stop seeing her. If you don't care and just want action, continue what you're doing.

[Adam007]

Ok guys, I need some major help.

 

So I've been going out with the girl for a little while. Physically I'm extremely attracted to her but I just do not enjoy having conversation with her very much. She doesn't get me but she's not aware of it. I feel like I have to dumb myself down talking to her and am constantly inner eye rolling. But she isn't aware of that, she feels like we're connecting, and I can't just say that she's intellectually just not on my level because emotionally we have been connecting. But again, I'm not sure if I can handle the lack of intellectual connection.

 

We live in the same area. She lives with her Dad and I'm a senior living at the nearby university. She is two years older than me and has temporarily dropped out of school because of grades and then because her mother recently died. Since it's the summer I'm back and forth between the university and the area where we both live so we can hang out once a week or so. I enjoy what we have but I will be graduating and going to a med school in a year from now. I like this as a summer fling but number one feel like she isn't 100% right for me. By committing to a long distance relationship of sorts, I would only be prolonging a relationship I'm not fully interested in pursuing long term.

 

The problem is that she is basically falling in love with me. And I do like spending time with her. But it's mostly physical. It got to the point today where I had to tell her that she has to decide if she can handle the possibility that the relationship will only be a short term thing. It's still very early and we don't consider ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I don't want to enter a serious relationship but I can't just tell her that she's not clicking with me because I would ruin her self-esteem by essentially calling her too stupid for me. She's currently in a very emotional state and possibly very clingy. Again I do enjoy spending time with her but what do you think I should do?

 

This sounds like a seinfeld episode.

 

To put it bluntly, you don't like her but she likes you and she's hot. Your brain is telling you no, but your penis is telling you oh god yes.

 

If you don't want to hurt her, stop seeing her. If you don't care and just want action, continue what you're doing.

My life literally is Seinfeld/Curb your Enthusiasm. I'm actually working on a cartoon in my spare time that I'm basing off my college experiences similar to both shows. Essentially you're right though. But you don't think the idea of a mutually accepted summer fling would work? Additionally I don't know how I would even break it off at this point.

[Iamdan]

My life literally is Seinfeld/Curb your Enthusiasm. I'm actually working on a cartoon in my spare time that I'm basing off my college experiences similar to both shows. Essentially you're right though. But you don't think the idea of a mutually accepted summer fling would work? Additionally I don't know how I would even break it off at this point.

 

If you don't know how to break it off now, it's only going to be harder later on. I mean sure she might agree to a summer thing now, but you can bet your ass she will keep calling you after it ends pushing for meet ups.

 

Flings just don't work when one of you is that attached, it will just end messy.

 

I'd probably do it, but then again I'm a [bleep].

[Promise]

Anything can happen man, maybe you will fall in love with her. Stop loving with your brain and start loving with your heart...and possibly your junk. :thumbup:

[Omar]

I'm not actually worrying, I want her parents to find out and for her to be locked up until she's 18. Then she'll hopefully start seeing sense and get away from this [bleep]er.

Douche^

She didn't do anything wrong to you. There's no reason to say karma's a [bleep], [cabbage] happened to her for no reason. You're mad because she broke up with you, and this whole Cody thing is extremely helpful to you, because it's a great reason to hate on her.

Sure, she may have made mistakes, but as far as I'm concerned you're not acting any better.

[obfuscator]

My life literally is Seinfeld/Curb your Enthusiasm. I'm actually working on a cartoon in my spare time that I'm basing off my college experiences similar to both shows. Essentially you're right though. But you don't think the idea of a mutually accepted summer fling would work? Additionally I don't know how I would even break it off at this point.

 

If you don't know how to break it off now, it's only going to be harder later on. I mean sure she might agree to a summer thing now, but you can bet your ass she will keep calling you after it ends pushing for meet ups.

 

Flings just don't work when one of you is that attached, it will just end messy.

 

I'd probably do it, but then again I'm a [bleep].

Got to agree with Dan here - I think it's very unfair to use her for a summer fling only considering that she's clearly in love with you. If you aren't happy with it, don't ignore those signals. I'd break it off.