"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Omar]

 

As for those commenting on Maleficus's situation, things seem very ugly, and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate your sarcastic criticisms. Dude's dealin' witha lot of crap. We got to be here for support.

 

Even if he was my closest friend, if that was the way he was dealing with his [cabbage], I wouldn't support it. Just because he's going through rough times, doesn't mean his ex has to suffer. And it sounds like she's suffering a hell of a lot. I'd rather do what looks like the right thing and try to get him and whoever is screwing her over to stop than sympathize when it's not going to help anyone in any way.

[RpgGamer]

As for those commenting on Maleficus's situation, things seem very ugly, and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate your sarcastic criticisms. Dude's dealin' witha lot of crap. We got to be here for support.

 

Even if he was my closest friend, if that was the way he was dealing with his [cabbage], I wouldn't support it. Just because he's going through rough times, doesn't mean his ex has to suffer. And it sounds like she's suffering a hell of a lot. I'd rather do what looks like the right thing and try to get him and whoever is screwing her over to stop than sympathize when it's not going to help anyone in any way.

 

 

Being supportive doesn't mean egg him on. It means guide him to the "right" path. I doubt poking fun at him and telling him he's being a bad person is going to make him act like a better person. This is an advice thread. Not a point out whats wrong with him and turn him loose on the world....thread. If you don't like the way someone's acting, advise them to change, and suggest a few things. Being negative towards a person who's already feeling negative doesn't help [unless it leads to some sort of epephiny in rare cases]

[Maleficus1055]

As for those commenting on Maleficus's situation, things seem very ugly, and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate your sarcastic criticisms. Dude's dealin' witha lot of crap. We got to be here for support.

 

Even if he was my closest friend, if that was the way he was dealing with his [cabbage], I wouldn't support it. Just because he's going through rough times, doesn't mean his ex has to suffer. And it sounds like she's suffering a hell of a lot. I'd rather do what looks like the right thing and try to get him and whoever is screwing her over to stop than sympathize when it's not going to help anyone in any way.

 

I'm not the one screwing her over and making her suffer. I don't know who is.

[TTanT]

 

As for those commenting on Maleficus's situation, things seem very ugly, and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate your sarcastic criticisms. Dude's dealin' witha lot of crap. We got to be here for support.

 

Even if he was my closest friend, if that was the way he was dealing with his [cabbage], I wouldn't support it. Just because he's going through rough times, doesn't mean his ex has to suffer. And it sounds like she's suffering a hell of a lot. I'd rather do what looks like the right thing and try to get him and whoever is screwing her over to stop than sympathize when it's not going to help anyone in any way.

 

Maybe I've been msireading things, but didn't he say it was others who had told her aprents, etc?

 

All he's done is stopped hanging out with her from what I read, which I see as compeltely udnerstandable. (And complain, which is also natural.)

[Omar]

 

Being supportive doesn't mean egg him on. It means guide him to the "right" path. I doubt poking fun at him and telling him he's being a bad person is going to make him act like a better person. This is an advice thread. Not a point out whats wrong with him and turn him loose on the world....thread. If you don't like the way someone's acting, advise them to change, and suggest a few things. Being negative towards a person who's already feeling negative doesn't help [unless it leads to some sort of epephiny in rare cases]

 

The way I see it, the right path was making sure his/her friends didn't [bleep] her over. That's not the way he was thinking though, he doesn't mind the [cabbage] that's happening to her. And on top of that, I wouldn't be surprised if he's had an influence on his friends (but if he hasn't, at he's got a lot less to be blamed for). He thinks what she's done is wrong. And it's not. She found someone better. What is she supposed to do, stay with him and pretend she still like him? That's not right either.

Now, I would have given advice if everything wasn't said and done. If he said "I'm considering telling her parents", I would have said the same thing, but with advice, youknowhatimean?

[RpgGamer]

I think it's best we drop this argument and get back on topic.

 

Anyone else having any issues, or need advice? Anyone?

[Furah]

I seem to be losing motivation and the balls to try. :wall:

[Giordano]

Go axsexual, you won't have to worry about it.

[Flyingjj]

Go axsexual, you won't have to worry about it.

I know this ain't truly serious advice, but I like making sure asexual is a term that's understood. Asexual refers to having no sexual desire for either sex. This does not necessarily mean one does not have romantic attraction toward the opposite sex, the same sex or both sexes.

[decebal]

Go axsexual, you won't have to worry about it.

I know this ain't truly serious advice, but I like making sure asexual is a term that's understood. Asexual refers to having no sexual desire for either sex. This does not necessarily mean one does not have romantic attraction toward the opposite sex, the same sex or both sexes.

My mind was just blown.

[Lenticular_J]

Did you want it to be?

 

Oh, that was in poor taste.

[Omar]

Did you want it to be?

 

Oh, that was in poor taste.

 

Come on, you know better.

[Lenticular_J]

It was pretty funny, though.

 

[hide] I have to vent, because this is pretty much the first time I've been caught in the middle of [cabbage] like this. I feel as though theater will be interesting next year. So my friend Travis (college) and this girl Jordan (theater) were sort of dating this spring. She broke up with her boyfriend, who I can honestly say is one of the most boring people I've ever met, to be with him. They were a weird couple, because they're kind of weird people, although in a remarkable way. Travis brought out the best in her, and she kept the worst of him at bay (sometimes he has very violent mood swings. they piss me off and I tell him so). They just worked, you know? But her parents forbid them from being together, because they're not exactly the best parents. For some reason, Jordan is completely submissive to them. Her mother is the mean one, the dad just doesn't resist her. Even though it's a two-year age difference, and there are easily a hundred people who could say why they should stay together ... Jordan ended it.

 

The weirdest part is, this entire time she'd been "friends" with her ex, who'd been bragging that she would come crawling back. He doesn't have much acclaim with anyone apart from a handful of basketball players. She did go crawling back, though. And she's also been really close to a mutual friend, Jackson, who said he's been uncomfortable with it.

 

So, last night was the first night I'd seen Jordan and her friend Tay all summer. Travis needed to get something from Tay's house (she told me she'd taken it one night drinking with another friend, since then she's blamed me, who was out of town the first half of the month really), and since he figured there's no way Jordan would be the angry one, he could go in and get it. Tay freaked out, swearing at me and Travis both. We were really confused, and just maintained our composure. I was proud of myself. So was our friend James that was also there, since none of us are very good at staying cool with something like that. Especially with Tay, who has had a history of neediness. She basically leeched off of our group of friends for attention, and when we realized that she is nowhere close to a nice person, we just cut off contact. She proceeded to [bleep] random guys and now she's getting a tramp stamp. Ah well.

 

Anyways, when Travis went with Tay to her room so she could prove she had nothing, Jordan starts complaining about us being here. She's really pissed me off lately. Just because she's never, EVER disobeyed her parents, she went against everything she actually wanted. I had a long talk with her about it, and she told me I should leave because she was scared I was right. I just don't understand her all of a sudden. Now she's very flaky, and only really hangs out with the other cheerleaders, who she used to only visit with occasionally. So strange...

 

But it's okay. Travis graduated my freshman year, and the most amazing girl in the school at the time he graduated, Haley ... I got him her number because I'm an amazing wingman. Him and James and I were wandering the mall, bored and sad because the past few hours had been boring (apart from the conflict at Tay's). James, who's a shy lad, is known for making beautiful women just appear all of a sudden. And he did. We saw probably 15 girls we knew in about five minutes at one part of the mall. Including Haley, who was with her sister (who's great, if you've never met Haley). I think the fact that some other attention-needy girls that we saw were all over us helped interest Haley, who has a boyfriend. But when Travis said, "I just want to be friends" all sweetly and winked, she had a coy little smile. Game on.[/hide]

 

Should be an interesting summer yet. And an interesting school year afterwards. Me? I've been driving, practicing calligraphy (I have horrible handwriting, fountain pens and calligraphy are helping), working like nobody's business, trying to find a barber and a good tailor, and getting the supplies I need to straight-razor and safety razor shave. A lot of reading and writing. Writing letters, soon as I get some nice stationary. Just because it's a gentlemanly pursuit. I've been working out and getting a tan personally, too, even though my job ends up with me roasted and bulgey. Shoveling hundreds of pounds of sand and cement in 100+ weather will do that.

 

But I have been having fun. I hope you have, too.

[Giordano]

Go axsexual, you won't have to worry about it.

I know this ain't truly serious advice, but I like making sure asexual is a term that's understood. Asexual refers to having no sexual desire for either sex. This does not necessarily mean one does not have romantic attraction toward the opposite sex, the same sex or both sexes.

It's like "If a tree fell in a forest and no one was around" situation. If one ignores his romantic and sexual urges for a sex and never speaks about it, he would be asexual to others, but he knows he's heterosexual but chooses to ignore it, but there needs to be another person involved to give him sexual orientation because it's a partnership between humans, and without this connection is he really heterosexual!? :blink:

 

Whew. Took me a while to figure that out. Ha. :razz:

 

I also noticed your Ferb avatar. You're now my favorite TIF'er.

[RpgGamer]

Thanks for dropping by Lent :)

 

Jordan situation sucks. I'm not sure why you had to get dragged into it, other than being friends with Travis. You don't understand what she's doing, because she barely does. She made the choice to submit to her parents, and be miserable to appease them. You're telling her she's wrong to do so [she is] and she's paniking in fear of remorse/regret [which she already is]. She's suffereing heavily, but in her mind, theoretically not being around you, or any of her other previous peers will relieve the pressure to disobey her parents [whom she must love and trust ALOT].

[Lenin64]

Ever have a girl just up and move on you? Yea. Not her family, just her. Thy got back in town on Saturday, I went over there Sunday and a girl that I presume to be her sister answered the door. I actually thought it was her for a second, then realized it wasn't. Anyway, she tells me the girl I'm looking "doesn't live here anymore". I just thank her for thisinformation and leave. I'm not certain, but I think those fears I posted before, about her not going to college and just enlisting, are exactly what happened.

 

Ah well. Even if I had gotten to her when I first wanted to two weeks ago, I wouldn't exactly have had time to do anything.

[RpgGamer]

Ever have a girl just up and move on you? Yea. Not her family, just her. Thy got back in town on Saturday, I went over there Sunday and a girl that I presume to be her sister answered the door. I actually thought it was her for a second, then realized it wasn't. Anyway, she tells me the girl I'm looking "doesn't live here anymore". I just thank her for thisinformation and leave. I'm not certain, but I think those fears I posted before, about her not going to college and just enlisting, are exactly what happened.

 

Ah well. Even if I had gotten to her when I first wanted to two weeks ago, I wouldn't exactly have had time to do anything.

 

 

Chin up buddy! Take your lesson, and use it to your advantage. No more [bleep]in' around with the next chick, a'ight? Get in there and do your thing. Don't waste any time ;)

[Omar]

Yeah, really the only thing to do here is say "[cabbage] happens :\". It's not really anyone's fault as far as I can tell.

[Lenin64]

P'raps I'm not born to lose after all. This morning, 'round noonish, I get a text message from that lass saying that she hadn't a chance to call, but her mom passed on that I was there and had left my name and number and whatnot. Well, I thought, that's...that's something. So I text back, basically saying that I haad thought she'd enlisted, etc etc, but it turns out she had just moved out. Three cheers for jumping to conclusions, eh? Anyway, she asks what it is I wanted to talk about and my response, if I can quote myself accurately here, "I'd rather have done this in person, of course, but I wanted to know if you'd like to do something sometime." Response? "Yea, sure". Alright, I thought, I'm in. She agrees that bowling is a lot of fun, but she stopped texting back after I tried to pin a definite day. All I know is that she can't do weekends. My answer to pick a day that works has thus far itself remained unanswered, but it's only been about 2 hours and at least I'm getting somewhere. I'm wondering if it would be remiss for me to just call directly tomorrow sometime.

[RpgGamer]

rocco, I have no idea how you unearthed that quote chain, but i hold you in high regard for it! Bravo!

 

...reading Lenin's posts, make me feel the need to speak in an equally sophisitcated fashion.

 

Anyway, Lenin...sounds like you're making progress. But try to get past the texting stuff. Call her. Use your voice. Have a date. Be flexible. Make plans. Get [cabbage] done and be a man B)

[Technologic]

I haven't really read through this thread, and it's somewhat late at night, so i'm sorry if what I write doesn't mak sense or is unclear as I am also writing this on a whim.

 

To start, I am 16 years old, about to be a junior. I would describe myself as being quite shy around others, but am much more open and relaxed around people I know a bit more. Two years ago I moved to a new town, which probably didn't help my being shy and all. In freshman orientation I was felt a bit alone until this one girl started talking to me. She just asked me the basic questions such as name and where I moved from, and then left. After that, I made some friends in my church and didn't talk to her much, mostly because of my being shy. Every so often she would come up to me and would have some small talk, but nothing over a few minutes. Later that year I went out for soccer, and during one game, my mom told me that she had heard one girl yell "go ( my name)", and then explain to one one of her friends where I was from ( I had moved from another county, but I'm the same race as her). My moms description of her matched that of the girl that would talk to me. During my sophmore year she would still approach me, asking about some math questions and recent events. I'm not sure if I should ask her out or not, because here are my doubts.

 

She is somewhat popular, but that's not the reason I am interested in her.

Alot of people find her a bit annoying, because they say she talks alot, but I don't mind it too much, because I do not have to talk as much myself.

I am afraid of rejection and criticism. I'm not sure if she talked to me out of pity or interest. My phisique isn't too bad, I'm about 5'10" but only around 110 pounds by the way.

 

Another thing that troubles me is that I'm not sure of her faith. She has been to my youthgroup before, but never to one of the services. I'm sure my parents would accept me dating her, but I'm not sure how my friends that go to church would react to her, because according to them she is annoying.

 

I hope that someone can help me. I am going to bed, and will pobably look at this topic again in the morning, so I probably won't respond until then.

[helpmeownlife]

Are you that faithful? Does it bother you?

[Iamdan]

Man up and ask her out. You're afraid of rejection because it is hardwired into every guy, for reasons that don't apply anymore. Who cares what your friends think if you are into her?

 

Get to know her better.

[Flyingjj]

My question is, how are you 5' 10", 110 pounds, male, and still alive?

 

But yes, ask her out if you're interested. If not, and you only want to ask her out because you think she's interested, don't ask her out. Rejection isn't all that bad. Everyone gets rejected, and nobody will care for more than a week at the very most if you do get rejected.

[Maleficus1055]

My question is, how are you 5' 10", 110 pounds, male, and still alive?

 

But yes, ask her out if you're interested. If not, and you only want to ask her out because you think she's interested, don't ask her out. Rejection isn't all that bad. Everyone gets rejected, and nobody will care for more than a week at the very most if you do get rejected.

I'm male, 6'1", 120pounds (and dropping) and still alive :/