dragoncmd

Fix up your grammar, and capitaliaze "I". I thought the content of the story was mediocre only because it seems unorginal. (monkey madness with changes, correct?)

Well I wrote another short section I'm just going to edit the orginal post.

nope I haven't found archmage either, I wonder if we are just misspelling archimage?

Incredible story! I wish I could write like that. Edit the white space out of the picture, its stretching the screen making the story hard to read. take out the spaces after http://

whose turn is it?

oh hes only said it in 3 threads so far (that I can remember I know theres more) and two of them were locked.

firstly don't be so harsh on him, this is his first post on these forums. (I normally don't pay much attention to post count but in this case I think its relevent). I only skimmed through. State, it you think this is exceptional read some of the other stories on these forums. They are far better. (raven's cabal and dreamweb are good places to start) I don't think it was bad either, I just think you need more practice writing. Add more descriptive words, don't use numerals, (instead of 10000, write ten thousand,) unless you are trying to give the impression that you are showing exactly what the message would look like. In that case italicize the message. Put in more paragraph breaks, and remember to start a new paragraph after each liine of dialouge. What Gaal said about the names of characters is true though. Make names realistic if you want people to take your story seriously or if you want to make it a paradoy keep them in but add more stuff like that (see Gaal and Smoke's stories for how to write a paradoy, they're experts) Other than that its a good rough draft, I really suggest re-writing it and making changes. Your subject is intriguing but flaws in the writing make it seem long and boring. Is this your first story or is there anythign else you've written? PS: Gaal, Archamage is actually a good writer he just wastes his time with stupid subjects *coughzaroscough* :lol: oh and one last thing, who thinks I am a complete idiot for giving corrections when I only have one topic on the libary?

I personally don't think that publishing is avery good idea. You would have to read up on copyright laws, put in that its a paradoy or rs (in with copyright info), change names but keep them recongiziable to rs players and make it a comic book. (hes right it wouldn't work as a novel). Another possible thing would be making a monty python or spaceballs style movie.

oh wait this is a log of what your doing in game? This is cool keep on going!

I wish that I could understand the wishful wisher that wished above me. I also wish that people would stop asking for my account since it is plain rude.

I like it. Unfortuanetly I don't have any comments so you will have to settle with waiting to hear my infinite wisdom some other time :wink:

So modest :)

um that would mean that you were dead, so you want to be dead? and I thought my wish was perfectly clear so my head is in one piece thank you very much. I wish that rs noobs were destroyed. (I no longer play rs so I don't fall in that category)

ooo :shock: more suspense. Oh and welcome to the forums hogamatog.

Its alright. It gets a bit repetitive with saying "he" so much. Also one of my personal pe peeves is haveing a strainght out description of what a character looks like at the beginning of the story. Even if you do give a description don't say stuff like "he was 5'5" and 100lbs."

THAT WAS HALARIOUS!!!ONE!!1!!!111!! it would be cool to have a series based on this about the other cities.

no no I'm quite sure I meant the guy who, as I've heard from a highly turstworthy source (well... disregard the trustworthy part), went into a rage over a boquet of roses. I believe that his name was something similar to G/\/\I_513I\I (I might have the spelling slightly off).

great idea though it seems to be a copy of two other posts from a couple of months ago. grour pics make it alot easier to understand and you've worked out most of the problems. The main problem is monitoring bank size. how much space would you have per tab? also I think it looks a bit cluddered but its far better than the current system.

What's so awful about farming? It benefits lots of other skills. It may benefit other skills but it is the most poorly implemented idea in ANY mmorpg I have seen to date. it forces you to sit around for a half hour and watch your plants grow (average) Jagex made a really stupid mistake with the timeing on it. They should have either had plants take a few days and had a VERY low chance of getting sick, or 15 minutes MAX.

ok quit with the flame fest, but please what use would they serve? (I'm assuming that you mean chain legs because we already have plate) theres absolutely no point in making an item that would cost about the same as a stronger item.

um, yeah of course they're going to drop Dragon Plate. (yeah right) n I really don't know if they will have a unique drop, but they should definatly have a high chance of getting other good slayer monster drops.

You have got to be kidding me... (By the way, did you mean revolutionary?) He's obviously referring to rural Kandarin School Boards decision to teach Intelligent Design I spent a full 2 minutes laughing after hearing that (I go to a catholic school so I know about intelligent desging all to well). I don't think that either enginering or carpentry are good additions to rs. Sure if they were done right then maybe they could be nice, but remember this is JAGEX that we're talking about.

May I quote you on that? (wait...I just did, oops :oops: ) I think it would be cool but it should be related to herblore. Herblore desperatly needs more ways to train at lower levels and the idea is great. I understand your point that they are different base ideas but I think herblore needs the expansion so much that that can be ignored.

the .093882754 malfunctions because it is not a full wish and the other wishes dissappeared. And i thought Smoke was the sick one between you two. I wish that I could understand why wishing wishes is the wish of most wishful thinkers on this wishing topic where evil wishful people corrupt my wishes.

mediocre but about the 3rd story on this forum to use that exact topic. you could fix up your grammar and use less "simple sentences". I'd say a 6