Its Payback Time Guys...

[johntm]

I forget but whats PMS? :oops:

 

 

 

Your worst nightmare. :shock:

 

 

 

lol

 

 

 

Actually, thats michael jackson :shock:

 

 

 

But you posted at the same time as me, your psychic.

[arizark]

another rule would be when your girl asks you to go out or come to bed or something don't say hang on i have almost got this level on WoW/Runescape hahaha that got me in aloooot of trouble

[johntm]

I might think of following these rules (not) when women get our sense of humor. At least you didnt mention shopping:D i hate jst going half a mile to get some food:(

[Sir_Alex85]

6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

 

 

 

 

Didn't read it all, have to go inna few, but what if she asks if she looks fat (or bad) in a dress she hasn't bought? I'd let her know before she bought it, so she saves the cash (unless she really likes it, if she's happy, I am). ;P

 

 

 

The idea there is to not be a [bleep] about it, and be nice when you say it. ;P

 

 

 

Wootahs?

[Lenin64]

You have your rules for women, we have our rules for men. :P I did not make these, I got them from http://www.brightrays.com

 

 

 

Women's Rules for Men

 

 

 

1. Call.

 

Some guys (like me) just aren't good on the phone. I dont like to call.

 

 

 

2. Don't lie.

 

No guarantees.

 

 

 

3. Never tape any of her body parts together.

 

Awww....thats the fun part...

 

 

 

4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.

 

Bros before hos. We need time together alone. Don't like? leave.

 

 

 

5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.

 

um, no. Just no.

 

 

 

6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

 

This is just plain bad. if you do look fat, we should tell you to let you avoid the embarassment of going out looking fat.

 

 

 

7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"

 

Don;t ask, don;t tell. It's not just for the army anymore.

 

 

 

8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.

 

Buy your own clothes then.

 

 

 

9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.

 

You;re a big girl, you can order for yourself

 

 

 

10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.

 

these seem like two seperate thoughts to me....

 

 

 

11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass",and "[bleep]" are bad.

 

Don;t nag then. part of the problem solved.

 

 

 

12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.

 

Don;t provoke us, then there is no shouting.

 

 

 

13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.

 

Women.....sheesh. Grunts state that whatever it is is fine, or we don't care. Or we are very sleepy.

 

 

 

14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.

 

See #7

 

 

 

15. Her cooking is excellent.

 

if i don;t like it, I won;t eat it. If I won;t eat it, I'll cook. every time.

 

 

 

16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.

 

 

 

17. Dishsoap is your friend.

 

This isn't the 40's. We have dishwashers now.

 

 

 

18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.

 

Not entirely sure what this means.

 

 

 

19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.

 

Make that clear beforehand.

 

 

 

20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.

 

Guys need privacy, too.

 

 

 

21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"

 

No comment.

 

 

 

22. Two words: clean socks.

 

If you want them clean so bad, wash them yourself. I'll clean my socks after I wear them for at least 2 days. Saves water.

 

 

 

23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when ?

 

Again, don;t really understand this one.

 

 

 

24. Burping is not sexy.

 

I don;t recall anybody ever saying it is.

 

 

 

25. You're wrong.

 

No. I'm not. Unless I really am, which is not every time, in fact, im usually right.

 

 

 

26. You're sorry.

 

see above.

 

 

 

27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.

 

Don;t expect us to be impressed by how much that skirt was on sale for, then

 

 

 

28. Ditto for your discourse on football.

 

see above

 

 

 

29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.

 

Hey, I'd like to see you try that.

 

 

 

30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad.

 

We aren't hillbillies.

 

 

 

31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.

 

Women are always upset about something. PMS just makes it worse

 

 

 

32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.

 

That would be practically impossible

 

 

 

33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.

 

men are not mind readers, and sometimes no does mean yes.

 

 

 

34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush, and you don't clean plaque with your tongue.

 

I concur

 

 

 

35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.

 

Its called a Tazer, or staying away from the slums and alleys.

 

 

 

36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.

 

maybe not, but they are pretty close.

 

 

 

37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.

 

For those who say she can drive, you probably dropped her off and she has no car. Taxis can be dangerous

 

 

 

38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.

 

unless you're a complete coward. Coward.

 

 

 

39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.

 

Is this really a problem? i don;t see it happen often...

 

 

 

40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.

 

say it once, it never changes. But every so often works for me.

 

 

 

41. Always, always suck up to her brother.

 

wow. no. men are competitive by nature, we suck up to no man! (other than the boss, MAYBE)

 

 

 

42. Think boxers.

 

think kinky lingerie. Exactly.

 

 

 

 

 

43. Silk boxers.

 

Really kinky.

 

 

 

44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names.

 

valentine's day, fine. But no stupid "6 week anniversary" or anything like that. 1 year is fine, maybe even 6 months. I always tell her that when it starts, so she can back out if she wants.

 

 

 

45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.

 

Unless she looks like a [garden tool], but usually just never start if she dresses like a [garden tool].

 

 

 

46. Her haircut is never bad.

 

Unless it really sucks, and then you should tell her to get her money back.

 

 

 

47. Don't let your friends pick on her.

 

And she cant defend herself why? I'll aid as needed, but most of it would probably be jokes she can deflect herself.

 

 

 

48. Call.

 

If you're going to repeat a rule to make it seem more important, do it more than once. This just looks bad.

 

 

 

49. Don't lie.

 

see above.

 

 

 

50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your [wagon] smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything.

 

Men are now in the delivery rooms, we dont "sit on our [wagon] smoking cigars".

 

 

 

This is my take on it all. Overall, I disapprove.

[johntm]

 

 

 

6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

 

This is just plain bad. if you do look fat, we should tell you to let you avoid the embarassment of going out looking fat.

 

I would say it, i dont want gf/fiancee/wife to look like a porker. People make of you ya know.

[Zonorhc]

My girlfriend would kung fu my [wagon] if I followed half that advice. Then I would have to respond by trying to knife her, whereupon we would collapse into a writhing knot of steamy, angry sex.

[Hazezor]

Lolol \ :XD:

 

 

 

Nice one

[Intriguing]

My girlfriend would kung fu my [wagon] if I followed half that advice. Then I would have to respond by trying to knife her, whereupon we would collapse into a writhing knot of steamy, angry sex.

 

You're an inspiration to us all. :)

[Rainy_Day]

25. You're wrong.

 

 

 

26. You're sorry.

 

 

 

These 2 had me laughing. :P

[warren211]

Honest yet-truth bending opinions are too much thinking for a male. Ask a woman if you expect a good answer to whether you look fat.

 

 

 

 

 

All these conflicts... thats why I'm not going for a girlfriend at my age. Wait till I can actually date and then do her 8-)

[Bubsa]

Some of you people are taking this waaay too personally.

[IGoddessI]

Booooooo to the site my answers were better.

 

 

 

what's with the hissy fits over the position of the toilet seat?

 

 

 

Unless you clean the bottom of the toilet lid, shut up :P I never like to touch it yet alone put it down.

 

 

 

Seriously every time a man I know uses the toilet he either leaves a bit of pee on the seat, a pube on the toilet bowl....... just no..... put it down and your woman will love you for it.

[Lionheart_0]

 

 

 

what's with the hissy fits over the position of the toilet seat?

 

 

 

Unless you clean the bottom of the toilet lid, shut up :P I never like to touch

 

 

 

Actually the toillet is the cleanest thing in the average persons bathroom. The most disgusting things in one's bathroom are probably one's sink and one's toothbrush, as one's hands and mouth are more dirty then their backside.

[IGoddessI]

 

 

 

what's with the hissy fits over the position of the toilet seat?

 

 

 

Unless you clean the bottom of the toilet lid, shut up :P I never like to touch

 

 

 

Actually the toillet is the cleanest thing in the average persons bathroom. The most disgusting things in one's bathroom are probably one's sink and one's toothbrush, as one's hands and mouth are more dirty then their backside.

 

 

 

I don't care what is clean and what's not clean :P It's more psychological for me, I see a pube on the toilet or a dusty bottom of the toilet lid and I will dry reach.

 

 

 

I would rather brush my teeth with someone elses toothbrush and lick the bathroom sink... I mean it lol

 

 

 

There is nothing that crawls up my skin more than going to a public toilet and there's a bit of wee on the seat :-X :-X :-X

[Zonorhc]

Take it like a man, Mel. =D

[IGoddessI]

Take it like a man, Mel. =D

 

 

 

I'll hide the pube in your lunch :XD:

[Zonorhc]

I'll hide the pube in your lunch :XD:

 

I've eaten at sidewalk establishments in India and the Philippines and lived to tell the tale.

 

 

 

Bring it, woman. My incredible and masculine intestinal fortitude laughs at your pubic threat.

[sour_tacos]

:| The guys rules for girls was more poking fun at how we act, and giving excuses. This just sounds like someone is barking orders.

 

More or less what I was thinking. I'd like to be a good sport and say this was funny, but... eh :| .

 

 

 

Any non-super-serious ones floating around on the internet :? ?

 

 

 

Trust me, I looked. There's nothing. There were even more "serious" ones and they were completly [developmentally delayed]ed. Even coming from me.

[Necrobean]

Never lie? *Mumbles*

 

Didn't I read in the newspaper lately that females lie about theire shopping and various other things?

 

 

 

Male rules for females #51

 

Don't try to take revenge if you suck in it nor put false rules on a list that you probably do yourself.

 

 

 

I miss Issy's comments

 

 

 

Edit: If you get to read this IGodessI your pink sig with that girl on, everytime I saw that it was time to read a good post!

[SuziAngel]

I forget but whats PMS? :oops:

 

 

 

Your worst nightmare. :shock:

 

 

 

lol

 

 

 

It might interest you to know that a recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features. And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in f*cking petrol, set on fire, with scissors stuck in his f*cking eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his bastard arse.

[stan18]

I forget but whats PMS? :oops:

 

 

 

Your worst nightmare. :shock:

 

 

 

lol

 

 

 

It might interest you to know that a recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features. And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in f*cking petrol, set on fire, with scissors stuck in his f*cking eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his bastard arse.

 

 

 

they needed a scientific study for that?

[Riku3220]

I forget but whats PMS? :oops:

 

 

 

Your worst nightmare. :shock:

 

 

 

lol

 

 

 

It might interest you to know that a recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features. And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in f*cking petrol, set on fire, with scissors stuck in his f*cking eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his bastard arse.

 

 

 

:shock: *steps away slowly :ohnoes:

[Zonorhc]

It might interest you to know that a recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features. And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in f*cking petrol, set on fire, with scissors stuck in his f*cking eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his bastard arse.

 

So, in other words, the lead singer of Rammstein, right?

[mad4u689]

I would like to say that this list in no way whatsoever represents anything I'd like in a man :D Thanks :P