Craiglowery Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/0 ... enato.html Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers (D - Omaha) filed suit against God Friday, asking a court to order the Almighty and his followers to stop making terrorist threats. The suit (.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along with his followers of all persuasions, "has made and continues to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons." Those threats are credible given God's history, Chambers' complaint says. Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like." Likewise the suit accuses God of having his chroniclers "disseminate in written form, said admissions, throughout the Earth in order to inspire fear, dread, anxiety, terror and uncertainty, in order to coerce obedience to Defendant's will." Chambers, who has represented Omaha, Nebraska since 1970, asked the Douglas County district court for summary judgment or to set a quick hearing date "if the Court deems such a hearing not to be a futile act." The senator also wants the court to issue a permanent injunction prohibiting God from issuing plagues and terrorist threats. It's unclear how this could work since God is usually understood to be all powerful. Chambers does admit that God is omnipresent and omniscient, however. Since God is everywhere, the Nebraska court has jurisdiction, Chambers argues, and since God is all-knowing, Chambers need not serve him with a notice of the lawsuit. The lawsuit indicates that Chambers attempted to make God appear in order to serve him by saying "Come out, come out, wherever you are," but the Almight declined, like many defendants, to make it easy for a plaintiff to serve him with court papers. Chambers filed the suit to make a point that the state constitution allows lawsuits to be filed for any reason, according to WOWT. WTF :?: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adventurer Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 :XD: That's the funniest stupid lawsuit I've ever seen!! A NEW LOW!! Truthscape - qeltar's excellent insights into RuneScape and moreCave Story - Best Free RPG ever-Retired. Forever- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Led-Zeppelin Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Have you ever seen that movie, Billy Connolly is in it, The Man that Sued God. But yeah, I don't think this is stupid, his whole reason for doing it is to prove you can sue anyone for anything these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flametrooper Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Yeah, I can just see God in court... "And do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you...ehm...You?" This one's my favorite line: "The senator also wants the court to issue a permanent injunction prohibiting God from issuing plagues and terrorist threats. It's unclear how this could work since God is usually understood to be all powerful. " Yeah..."You have been found to be guilty. Your sentence is to cease and desist all smiting, plaguing, issuing of terrorist threats, and general destruction of mankind." "And thou planneth to enforce this how, mortal?" "..." "..." "..." "...Yea, thus as I had thought." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocobodude0 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 :wall: :wall: :wall: Wow. Just wow. Assuming that this man really wanst to sue God, how's he gonna get him to comply to his punishment? Afterall, isn't he the say-all end-all decision maker? How you gonna make him stop? :P :P :P And PS, instead of turning this into a "Does God exist or not?" debate, let's point our figers at laugh at the apparent lack of intelligence this dude has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 That is one bored-out-of-his-mind dude. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peronix Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 :XD: That's the funniest stupid lawsuit I've ever seen!! A NEW LOW!! +1 to the former sentence. Low, however, wouldn't be the word for it considering the man just did it to make a point. More like silly. Yeah... I can imagine God in court too. "We find the defendant guilty your honor. But how in the defendant's name is the injunction to be enforced?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lchaosl Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 And PS, instead of turning this into a "Does God exist or not?" debate, let's point our figers at laugh at the apparent lack of intelligence this dude has.No, lets laugh at the lack of intelligence you have. From the bottom of the quote "Chambers filed the suit to make a point that the state constitution allows lawsuits to be filed for any reason, according to WOWT." :P No offence to you, I just couldn't pass it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InkofDeath Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 lmao! :lol: What's next? Let's sue the entire human race! :-# Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docl Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Woah, that guy is a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam007 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 The ones calling this guy stupid are the real stupid ones. The guy's doing this to make a point against the current frivolity of the legal system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warri0r45 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 As some of the more keyed in have alluded to, it's satirical, not for real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Arrr, why be ye lubbers takin' this seriously, given tha source bein' what it be? Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jemathonical Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I'd sue God too. But for what? :-k I know! I'll sue him for making my keyboard keys sticky..... ^Sir Jem 05-The Bunny Drinking Blog?^ Click it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warri0r45 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I'd sue God too. But for what? :-k I know! I'll sue him for making my keyboard keys sticky..... :shock: I hope that's coke you spilt on your keyboard, Jem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jemathonical Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I'd sue God too. But for what? :-k I know! I'll sue him for making my keyboard keys sticky..... :shock: I hope that's coke you spilt on your keyboard, Jem. Probably Pepsi :wink: Maybe it's all the crumbs dropped down between them. Meh. ^Sir Jem 05-The Bunny Drinking Blog?^ Click it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsavi Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Wow. Who's going to be the defending lawyer, the Pope? If this case is won, it will be a lawsuit to end all lawsuits... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Wow. Who's going to be the defending lawyer, the Pope? lol! reminds me of a cartoon i saw a few years back. the pope was a rock with the pope hat on. anywho, imagine them cuffing him after the trial "cuff him and escort him out" *cuffs fall onto the ground* "quick! get him he's escaping!" --God has now been charged with resisting arrest-- Popoto.~<3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randox Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I think God should smite that stupid man. Or at least give mother nature a push in the right direction :-w Lightning FTW \ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTear Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 The funniest thing with this thread is seeing all the people who either failed to read or failed to understand the final, and most important, sentence of the article. Even funnier is the fact that even after this has been pointed out several times, people are still missing it. Why post if you cba to read the originial post, much less the thread, properly? -This message was deviously brought to you by: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defender2516 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I'm sueing everyone ... cuz i need cash. Lol! I can see it now.. new get rich quick schemes... SUE! If you love me, send me a PM. 8 - Love me2 - Hate me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malo2 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 The man most likely did it as a joke to humiliate the judicial system. Lastfm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilleus Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 The man most likely did it as a joke to humiliate the judicial system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam007 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 The man most likely did it as a joke to humiliate the judicial system. I'd say good inductive reasoning if it hadn't been explicitly stated already in the article. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assassin_696 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Well, it's pretty obvious who actually read the article here... "Da mihi castitatem et continentam, sed noli modo" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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