http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/0 ... enato.html

 

 

 

 

 

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers (D - Omaha) filed suit against God Friday, asking a court to order the Almighty and his followers to stop making terrorist threats.

 

 

 

The suit (.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along with his followers of all persuasions, "has made and continues to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons." Those threats are credible given God's history, Chambers' complaint says.

 

 

 

Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like."

 

 

 

Likewise the suit accuses God of having his chroniclers "disseminate in written form, said admissions, throughout the Earth in order to inspire fear, dread, anxiety, terror and uncertainty, in order to coerce obedience to Defendant's will."

 

 

 

Chambers, who has represented Omaha, Nebraska since 1970, asked the Douglas County district court for summary judgment or to set a quick hearing date "if the Court deems such a hearing not to be a futile act."

 

 

 

The senator also wants the court to issue a permanent injunction prohibiting God from issuing plagues and terrorist threats. It's unclear how this could work since God is usually understood to be all powerful.

 

 

 

Chambers does admit that God is omnipresent and omniscient, however. Since God is everywhere, the Nebraska court has jurisdiction, Chambers argues, and since God is all-knowing, Chambers need not serve him with a notice of the lawsuit.

 

 

 

The lawsuit indicates that Chambers attempted to make God appear in order to serve him by saying "Come out, come out, wherever you are," but the Almight declined, like many defendants, to make it easy for a plaintiff to serve him with court papers.

 

 

 

Chambers filed the suit to make a point that the state constitution allows lawsuits to be filed for any reason, according to WOWT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WTF :?:

:XD:

 

That's the funniest stupid lawsuit I've ever seen!! A NEW LOW!!

Have you ever seen that movie, Billy Connolly is in it, The Man that Sued God.

 

 

 

But yeah, I don't think this is stupid, his whole reason for doing it is to prove you can sue anyone for anything these days.

Yeah, I can just see God in court...

 

 

 

"And do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you...ehm...You?"

 

 

 

This one's my favorite line: "The senator also wants the court to issue a permanent injunction prohibiting God from issuing plagues and terrorist threats. It's unclear how this could work since God is usually understood to be all powerful. "

 

 

 

Yeah..."You have been found to be guilty. Your sentence is to cease and desist all smiting, plaguing, issuing of terrorist threats, and general destruction of mankind."

 

"And thou planneth to enforce this how, mortal?"

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"...Yea, thus as I had thought."

:wall: :wall: :wall:

 

 

 

Wow. Just wow. Assuming that this man really wanst to sue God, how's he gonna get him to comply to his punishment? Afterall, isn't he the say-all end-all decision maker? How you gonna make him stop? :P :P :P

 

 

 

And PS, instead of turning this into a "Does God exist or not?" debate, let's point our figers at laugh at the apparent lack of intelligence this dude has.

That is one bored-out-of-his-mind dude.

:XD:

 

That's the funniest stupid lawsuit I've ever seen!! A NEW LOW!!

 

 

 

+1 to the former sentence. Low, however, wouldn't be the word for it considering the man just did it to make a point. More like silly.

 

 

 

Yeah... I can imagine God in court too.

 

 

 

"We find the defendant guilty your honor. But how in the defendant's name is the injunction to be enforced?"

And PS, instead of turning this into a "Does God exist or not?" debate, let's point our figers at laugh at the apparent lack of intelligence this dude has.

No, lets laugh at the lack of intelligence you have.

 

 

 

From the bottom of the quote "Chambers filed the suit to make a point that the state constitution allows lawsuits to be filed for any reason, according to WOWT."

 

 

 

:P No offence to you, I just couldn't pass it up.

lmao! :lol:

 

 

 

What's next?

 

Let's sue the entire human race! :-#

Woah, that guy is a joke.

The ones calling this guy stupid are the real stupid ones. The guy's doing this to make a point against the current frivolity of the legal system.

As some of the more keyed in have alluded to, it's satirical, not for real.

Arrr, why be ye lubbers takin' this seriously, given tha source bein' what it be?

I'd sue God too. But for what? :-k

 

I know! I'll sue him for making my keyboard keys sticky.....

I'd sue God too. But for what? :-k

 

I know! I'll sue him for making my keyboard keys sticky.....

 

 

 

:shock:

 

 

 

I hope that's coke you spilt on your keyboard, Jem.

I'd sue God too. But for what? :-k

 

I know! I'll sue him for making my keyboard keys sticky.....

 

 

 

:shock:

 

 

 

I hope that's coke you spilt on your keyboard, Jem.

 

 

 

Probably Pepsi :wink:

 

Maybe it's all the crumbs dropped down between them. Meh.

Wow. Who's going to be the defending lawyer, the Pope?

 

 

 

If this case is won, it will be a lawsuit to end all lawsuits...

Wow. Who's going to be the defending lawyer, the Pope?

 

 

lol! reminds me of a cartoon i saw a few years back. the pope was a rock with the pope hat on.

 

anywho, imagine them cuffing him after the trial

 

"cuff him and escort him out"

 

*cuffs fall onto the ground*

 

"quick! get him he's escaping!"

 

--God has now been charged with resisting arrest--

I think God should smite that stupid man. Or at least give mother nature a push in the right direction :-w

 

 

 

Lightning FTW \

The funniest thing with this thread is seeing all the people who either failed to read or failed to understand the final, and most important, sentence of the article.

 

 

 

Even funnier is the fact that even after this has been pointed out several times, people are still missing it. Why post if you cba to read the originial post, much less the thread, properly?

I'm sueing everyone ... cuz i need cash.

 

 

 

Lol!

 

 

 

I can see it now.. new get rich quick schemes... SUE!

The man most likely did it as a joke to humiliate the judicial system.

The man most likely did it as a joke to humiliate the judicial system.

The man most likely did it as a joke to humiliate the judicial system.

 

I'd say good inductive reasoning if it hadn't been explicitly stated already in the article.

Well, it's pretty obvious who actually read the article here...