kelem_ryu Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 An Epic Battle I just had to take a [cabbage] and managed to do so after overcoming a horrible obstacle. When i opened the door to my toilet i immediately saw the spider that was haunting this place for days sitting right there at the bottom of the WC. I considered leaving it alone and coming back at a later time, hoping it would have crawled back to whatever hole it usually hides, but given the urgency of the situation i had to take immediate action. For a brieve moment i considered to arm myself with the vacuum cleaner, but i felt it was time for bravery. So i equipped myself with a fairly long stick, not even the longest available, long enough though, to keep a save distacne between me and my opponent. Before charging into battle i opened the window next to the toilet door. The plan was simple, yet bold: I had to intimidate the gruesome monster into climbing on my stick, to hastily throw it out the window, not giving it any chance to climb up my instrument of might reaching my hands. Soon i realized that the plan wasn't as simple as i believed. Instead of climbing my stick the beast retreatedeverytime i offered it the tip. I chased it around the ground until it found refuge behind the toilet seat. It was then when i found the precious artifact wich ultimately ensured my victory: An empty toilet paper roll, wich lay hidden behind the seat - in the very shelter of the horror. With witty changes of ankle i drove it out of it's hiding place and managed to corner it, only after i upgraded my stick to a stick with a empty toilet paper roll on it's tip. The space between the wall and the inside of the roll became my foes prison. I retracted my weapon. For a brief moment the suspense was unbeareable, when the roll fell of the stick, but not all was lost. Instead of staying inside the spider clung to the tip of the stick, seemingly unsure whether to rush my hands or not. I could already smell victory, moved the stick not too fast, but swift nevertheless - not to give it an opportunity to change it's mind and go for my hands - out of the window. Now i shook the stick in a powerful downwards motion - the excitment was almost unberable. I cautiously inspected the stick: It wasn't there anymore. It was oustide. Quickly i closed the window, not giving it any opportunity to climb the wall into the inside again. After a short celebration with women and wine i finally took my well deserved [cabbage]. The End Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsavi Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 -.- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernHero Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 You are the man! Never before has anyone.... :| ok I'll just leave it there.. Reality is hundreds of times more beautiful and more interesting than delusions. Fairy tales just tend to be easier to follow than the wonderful intricacies of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrOwez Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 you got rid of a spider.... :wall: A friend to all is a friend to none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionheart_0 Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Victory! Triumph! I'm an Hero! Fixed. Sig by IkuraiYour Guide to Posting! Behave or I will send my Moose mounted Beaver launchers at you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelem_ryu Posted November 3, 2007 Author Share Posted November 3, 2007 -.- Pah. I bring you a story of me facing my deepest fears, yet maintaining my deep rooted love for everything living and that is spam to you? If that is spam, what isn't? Victory! Triumph! I'm an Hero! Fixed. Really? "a hero" is a spelling error? you got rid of a spider.... :wall: You have no idea, how much a progress this is. I'm almost as scared of spiders as of girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionheart_0 Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Victory! Triumph! I'm an Hero! Fixed. Really? "a hero" is a spelling error? Link edited out, not appropriate thanks. ~assassin Sig by IkuraiYour Guide to Posting! Behave or I will send my Moose mounted Beaver launchers at you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hydraides Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Thats an Awesome Story What type of Spider was it lol Who wants to hear my Spider -Triumph Hero- Story, ok ill tell you Basically I was in the car, in passengers seat, I pulled down the mirror. That to greet me was a MASSSIVE house spider. Anyway it started to crawl over to my aunty (driver). She started to scream like a little girl. It was crawling across the wing mirror? ...Anyway my Adrenaline was pumping so hard. In a Dash of Bravery, I got my hand and reached and Wrapped my whole fist around the spider!!!! I then chucked it out the window....I can honestly say Thats been my biggest Adrenaline rush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nero Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Why don't you just stomp the stupid thing? Vienna Raszyn Warsaw Klushino Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelem_ryu Posted November 3, 2007 Author Share Posted November 3, 2007 In a Dash of Bravery, I got my hand and reached and Wrapped my whole fist around the spider!!!! :shock: I wonder if i could ever do that. Damsels in distress really can make you most unbelievable things. Mine also was a house spider. Plain, common, black, not terrible big but still not small either. Thank god house spiders are the biggest ones where i live. Cross spiders (very wierd things. why tf do they have a cross on their back?!) are the second biggest. I'm seriously scared of travelling to exotic countries, because they might have some nasty speciem there. Once i was on a camping ground in Florida and there were yellow striped spiders everywhere. Once i noticed them, i didn't love the camper anymore. I didn't even went outside. So i really have to get rid of this phobia. I have a feeling i do make progress - slowly but steadily. Why don't you just stomp the stupid thing? They are cute somehow. I love animals. I hope one day i can touch them. The only thing i kill are mosquitos. I hate them with a passion (who doesn't?). Flys for exaple i don't mind and we don't have cockroaches here, so i don't know how i would handle them. Victory! Triumph! I'm an Hero!Fixed.Really? "a hero" is a spelling error?Link edited out, not appropriate thanks. ~assassin Hm.. i found it funny on first glance, until i dug deeper into the matter and found the origins to be rather tasteless. (I guess i'm a bit hypocritical here, because sometimes i find similar things funny, but these guys clearly lack any empathy and go out hurting people, because they think it's funny, when my believe is that they are only compensating for their own insufficiencies, wich make these people rather sad figures in my eyes.) Oh well.. maybe i just shouldn't have dug deeper. I would still find it funny =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nero Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Why don't you just stomp the stupid thing? They are cute somehow. I love animals. I hope one day i can touch them. The only thing i kill are mosquitos. I hate them with a passion (who doesn't?). Flys for exaple i don't mind and we don't have cockroaches here, so i don't know how i would handle them. Spiders aren't animals. And besides, if there was some 100 foot species on this planet do you think it would think twice about crushing us? Vienna Raszyn Warsaw Klushino Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelem_ryu Posted November 3, 2007 Author Share Posted November 3, 2007 Why don't you just stomp the stupid thing? They are cute somehow. I love animals. I hope one day i can touch them. The only thing i kill are mosquitos. I hate them with a passion (who doesn't?). Flys for exaple i don't mind and we don't have cockroaches here, so i don't know how i would handle them. Spiders aren't animals. And besides, if there was some 100 foot species on this planet do you think it would think twice about crushing us? Spiders are animals... About the 100 foot species: Probably not. I do however. Besides that i'd pity the poor, poor, little, huge spider (wich probably has hardly any counsciousness at all), crushing bugs and such gives me the creeps - the noise, the feeling. So if i were to kill it, i definitely wouldn't crush it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medellin Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 epic thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nero Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Spiders are animals... I always thought they were insects :oops: Vienna Raszyn Warsaw Klushino Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ctp080188 Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Insects have 6 legs. SHH HUT YUH MUH. DERKHED. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelem_ryu Posted November 3, 2007 Author Share Posted November 3, 2007 Spiders are animals... I always thought they were insects :oops: Insects are animals to, spiders however aren't insects. Both spiders and insects are arthropods. animals -vertebrate ---reptiles ---amphibia ---mammals ---birds -invertebrata ---arthropods ------spiderlike ----------scorpios ----------spiders ----------idk what else ------insects ------centipedes ------one group is missing i believe ---snails&mussels =P (hope that is correct) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnumb Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Congratulations you killed a spider woooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelem_ryu Posted November 3, 2007 Author Share Posted November 3, 2007 Congratulations you killed a spider woooo I didn't!! (!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_drunk_dude Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Ban hammer please, we need to set an example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromagus Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 epic threadVictory! Triumph! I'm an Hero! Fixed.Really? "a hero" is a spelling error?Link edited out, not appropriate thanks. ~assassinBan hammer please, we need to set an example.Please don't turn TIF into yet another chan My Tip.It Times Articles (10 and counting) || The Varrock Library Author Index projectDo you dare to dream? - Part 19 added. || The Hospital (WIP) - New story!Necromagus looks like a viking ... with glasses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I approve of this thread. It possesses win in suitable quantities. Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionheart_0 Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I approve of this thread. It possesses win in suitable quantities. Rule 17 my friend: Every win fails eventually Sig by IkuraiYour Guide to Posting! Behave or I will send my Moose mounted Beaver launchers at you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubsa Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I have to say, not only would that have made your crap even more satisfying, but your story had me gripped. Well played sir. Well smegging played. This is how much you all raised for charity. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 So who's hero are you? Your own? good enough i guess.... Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueLancer Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 People on tip.it just can't take a joke unless it has a BIG 'sarcasm' or 'don't take it too seriously' tag under it :lol: I approve of this thread. It possesses win in suitable quantities. Yes it does. 8-) And for the record to the guy on page 1... Spiders are animals... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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