/me like's Dan's post :lol:

 

All I'm picturing right now is lent in a suit and dark glasses making this woman sign forms.

 

Couldn't help myself

 

I wanted to spend some time on it but I'm going back to bed.

 

 

hahahahahahahahaha

 

I seriously sat in my chair and chuckled for a good minute and a half.

 

Quick poll:

 

How many of you are left leans vs right leans? [when kissing]

 

My friend who's very into his gun club made an interesting observation. I recall Lent saying that he was left-lean to be different. I told my friend this, and he said that he was left lean because he was left-eye dominant [he holds his rifle lefty]. So i sort of see an interesting coorelation between eye dominance and which way you naturally lean to kiss. Are most people right eye dominant, as they are right handed?

I shoot with my left eye, but kiss to the right.

I shoot right eye. I think I picked up the left kissing thing up from Scrubs, haha. But it works.

I'd have to say right for me. First kiss was left, but only because we were laying down. All others were right. Shoot with my right eye.

I do both, I don't really have a strong preference but I think I'm a right. I shoot right.

I kiss left.

I shoot right, and kiss both ways. It really depends, I usually go left but I have no preference for either way.

I kiss both ways, I alternate sometimes. Keeps things interesting. My impulse is to lean left but my right eye is dominant.

I never pay any attention to these things.... :mellow:

I shoot right, and kiss both ways. It really depends, I usually go left but I have no preference for either way.

This. I start left, but I do switch.

My right eye is dominant, but I tend to lean left. Unless of course the situation makes leaning left impossible.

I'm have no idea why I am posting, maybe I do want some help I just don't know. I've been debating this for a few months (as in I wrote it a few months ago and only posting it now, hell I'll still be surprised if I do actually post this).

 

[hide]

Why is it we want the one thing that will/can never be?

 

As of me writing this, I'm not 100% sure what I want I am a bit conflicted. I guess I'll start back at the start.

 

Four years ago around St. Patrick's day I got a letter in the post (I still have it actually). I can still remember when I got the letter. I had gotten in the car (I was in the front) and my mother said I had some post so I went to look at and in the top right hand corner there was a curious George, a worn and another stamp that I can't remember. There was a place name stamped on the stamps and it had [place name] written on it. I was curious as to whom sent this to me so naturally I opened it and found a letter in it. I read it and at the time I had no idea how much that one letter would effect my life.

 

I can remember sitting at the table in the living room writing a reply back to the letter. After the second letter, we started talking over MSN it took a little while to start talking to [name] (the girl who was writing to me). When we did start to talk we talked a lot. It was around 4 -4:30pm [names] time and 10 - 10:30pm my time when we would be talking. This went on for many many months. I don't remember exactly how long we were talking before we sent each other pictures, but I can remember when I was being sent a picture of [name]. We were talking on MSN (about what exactly I don't remember) but I do remember when [name] sent me the picture. I was a bit afraid to look at it. Why I'm not sure, but in the end I did and I can remember the picture. It was in black and white. [name] was sitting on a bed with a guitar in her hands and I can remember [name] had a little red patch just below her right eye. [name] said it was something spider (I don't remember exactly what it is called, but I know there was a spider in the name).

 

I guess [name] was the first girl I had ever really talked to and we talked because we wanted to, we both asked for penpals. It wasn't like in primary or secondary school where you eventually had to talk to them. She is one girl who I really care for (more than she will ever know).

 

As time progressed and I kind of stayed the same and [name] grew up and became more and more beautiful and popular I guess she didn't have as much time for me as she used to have.

 

This is the part that I'm not too sure about. I know [name] has every right to grow up and make new friends and all, I want her to be happy, but also at the same time I want to be able to talk to [name] the way we use to. I know it is hard to talk the way we did since I am living like 5000 miles away and over an ocean. It's not like she can see me every day or hop onto a bus or train and visit me. But last year in May [name], her brother and father did come over to Ireland to visit me. I think we all had a great time. One of the few downsides was the fact they were staying in a hotel an hour and a half away. I really enjoyed the few days [name] was here, but I kind of felt that her father was keeping a close eye on us. When [name] was leaving it was sad. A little while after she left we were texting and one thing led to another. I sent her a message with "in case you didn't notice I love you as well (she had said earlier and numerous times before "love you or I love you joe" (or something to that extent)). [name] replied something like Friendship love or what? It was then when it fully hit me. She will never know how much she means to me and I can't tell her in case she doesn't feel the same way about me. But I replied to her text with "Friendship".

 

It had killed me to send that. That night when I was in my bed I cried because I had realised [name] will never know how much she means to me and I don't think I will ever be able to tell her.

 

I am really trying to get money to get a flight over to see [name], but at the moment it's not looking too great. I will get to visit her sooner or later, but I would prefer sooner rather than later.

 

What I wand is for us to be able to talk like we once did, but I know if we did that, then [name] would have even less time to do other things she wants to do. I do want her to be happy and talk to me because she wants to and not because she thinks she has to for whatever reasons. [name] has said on numerous occasions that she does want to talk to me and that she would try to, but I think that is really as far as it got. 9 out of 10 times when we do talk it's because I started it. Whether it would be via texting or over the internet. In a sense I can understand [name ]being busy, she does have an active lifestyle and she is popular and has a boyfriend. With [name] being so busy and all in a sense I can see why I am put on the back burner (so to speak). Maybe I'm just thinking too much into these things or maybe I am trying to make excuses for [name]. I don't really know so I'll stop for now.

 

Okay sorry I know I said I would shut up, but one last thing. Around the 7th of May I posted a letter to [name] and it's now the 26th of May and I haven't heard a word from [name] about that letter. I wasn't really expecting a letter back from her, but I thought she might have texted me or told me over facebook that she at least got the letter.

[/hide]

 

There is a few things changed since I wrote the above.

1) [name] doesn't have a boyfriend any more they broke up a few weeks ago.

2) it's now the 17th of July and I still haven't heard whether or not [name] for the letter I sent in May.

I say send a text to her. Just something simple like "Hey haven't talked in a while, what are you doing?" Or something like that. See where that goes. Eventually (if you do start talking more) I think you should tell her how you feel. Something like "You remember when you visited, and I told you I loved you in a friendship kind of way?... well I kind of lied there. I really do love you... a lot." Something like that. Use your imagination. :thumbup:

I think you looked too deep into the L word when she used it. I love just shoot me, but I haven't seen an episode in years. It can easily be used with a much more casual context than the way you interpreted it, especially by a lot of women who tend to use it more.

 

My guess is that she wanted a pen pal because like you at the time, she didn't talk to many people in real life. When she did start talking to more people, naturally she prioritized them over someone she talked to over long distance and met once. You had a much bigger emotional investment than she did.

 

If you tell her that you're in love with her you're most likely going to weird her out and make her not want to talk to you. I suggest starting conversation with her every now and then, but to move on like she has.

[...] But I replied to her text with "Friendship".

 

It had killed me to send that. That night when I was in my bed I cried because I had realised [name] will never know how much she means to me and I don't think I will ever be able to tell her.

[...]

 

 

Let this quote stand as a lesson to everyone. Tell how you actually feel. Don't lie, or you'll end up miserable. Truth is simple. It may have been awkward for Howlin0001 to say "I am in love with you" , and obviously that would have been a heavy phrase to drop [especially over a text]. But let the record show, had he said what he really felt, he wouldn't have have felt the pain of knowing he put himself in a lie he may never find his way out of. Essentially, a self-proclaimed friendzone. Take the risk. Always take the chance. Even if you fail, if you give it your all, you have nothing to fret over.

 

Now, to Howlin directly, I suggest that you move on from [name]. Your tale is that of a romantic, and many people would love to here it's intimate moments and your burning desire. But, it doesn't look like that audience includes [name]. A lot of girls would love a guy like yourself, you just need to as you [and I quote] put it "grow up". [name] grew up, got new friends, got more plans, involvoed herself in the real world. I suggest you do the same. You can always cherish your memories with [name], but use them as motivation to be a better you. Right now you're just "the pen-pal from accross the pond". If you want her, you're going to have to work for it, but due to your mistake, your going to need to take a few steps back. Focus on your life for a while. Gain friends, interests, hobbies, work, ethics, yadda yadda. At worst, all of these activities will get your mind off of her. You will then find yourself "growing". Then you can be that "attractive girl that she blossomed to be"...only you'd be "the handsome man that came out of his shell". Once you achieve your goal of having a new and improved lifestlye, you can start a conversation with her over facebook or whatever. Just a simple "haven't talked in a while, been busy, how are you?". And now you're back at square one with a much bigger advantage. But honestly, I'm leaning towards you improving yourself and then sticking to those priniciples and move on with yo'damn self.

I tell girls I won't be friends with them if I'm attracted to them. Disarms the friend zone if you say no. I mean, you don't start stalking the girl or something, you just don't speak with her ever again.

I tell girls I won't be friends with them if I'm attracted to them. Disarms the friend zone if you say no. I mean, you don't start stalking the girl or something, you just don't speak with her ever again.

 

I'm basically the same way. My process for failure goes as follows:

 

1. meet girl

2. talk to girl

3. flirt with girl

4. get rejected and asked for friendship

5. claim i can't be friends with someone that i'm constantly attracted to

6. move on

 

if they come back to me, i immidialty start with not aloof uncaring bleh for conversation, but may warm up to flirting to attempt to restart the process minus steps 4-6.

I kiss either way, I think usually right. But sometimes if it's more than one kiss I switch to left. And I shoot right.

I say send a text to her. Just something simple like "Hey haven't talked in a while, what are you doing?" Or something like that. See where that goes.

I have sent her a few texts like that and sometimes we would start talking sometimes we wouldn't. Like 2 days ago I sent [name] a message on facebook asking how she was etc trying to get her to talk to me, but she hasn't replied (at least not yet).

 

 

I think you looked too deep into the L word when she used it.

Not really I know she means it in the friendship way.

5. claim i can't be friends with someone that i'm constantly attracted to

Claim is the keyword, isn't it? :P

I find it pretty easy to do actually.

I started writing up a response, but decided against it. I think I prefer chatting on Skype, so log in Joe. ;)

5. claim i can't be friends with someone that i'm constantly attracted to

Claim is the keyword, isn't it? :P

I find it pretty easy to do actually.

I could do it. I just won't.

 

- And I mean very attracted to. If a girl's just hot or really cool, she's fine.

I'm a little late to the question, but I lean to the right. Might be due to my right eye being dominant or something, although I wouldn't mind changing it up just a bit.

Not really I know she means it in the friendship way.

Would you treat someone you love like that?