So your sister's boyfriend is the controlling, overprotective, jealous type. Not really your problem unless you make it your problem.

 

Only real issue is whether this guy does actually like your sister, and for that you could just, y'know, ask him.

 

 

Yes pretty much, he's like that 24/7.

 

I guess i can ask him next week when i see him next, if and when he replies with if he still wishes to go out that is.

Did you ask him over text? Or do you text a lot with him? If so you may as well try asking him through that.

 

I asked in person, i'm not that into texting, don't even own a cell phone. Which makes things harder. I guess i am most worried that he will say no after what my sister and her boyfriend said/did to him...

He has a photo of him hugging a girl on Facebook, therefore he likes her? Did I miss something? Ask about what happened if you're curious but I wouldn't be worried.

 

Also, wow. how old is the boyfriend and her sister?

 

 

I really do like him, i just don't want to end up getting hurt again...

 

You will date many guys in your life. Many of them will hurt you. Ideally, one won't. Only way to find that one is to go through a lot of pain. But it makes the one that's right for you, just a little more special, y'dig?

 

Don't be afraid to date someone unless they are legitimately a bad person. Shoot from the hip and take some risks. It's all part of life. Whether he likes your sister or not is kind of irrelevant. She has a boyfriend. At least that's how I read your post? And if he dates you and tries anything with your sister, that makes him an all kinds of douchebag, to which you will then never talk to again and move on with your life. But for now, try to enjoy him and not worry about the probably nothing of a "problem"

 

 

I really do like him, i just don't want to end up getting hurt again...

 

You will date many guys in your life. Many of them will hurt you. Ideally, one won't. Only way to find that one is to go through a lot of pain. But it makes the one that's right for you, just a little more special, y'dig?

 

Don't be afraid to date someone unless they are legitimately a bad person. Shoot from the hip and take some risks. It's all part of life. Whether he likes your sister or not is kind of irrelevant. She has a boyfriend. At least that's how I read your post? And if he dates you and tries anything with your sister, that makes him an all kinds of douchebag, to which you will then never talk to again and move on with your life. But for now, try to enjoy him and not worry about the probably nothing of a "problem"

 

 

I guess you're right, can't hurt to try. Just how i amm i always over think things and get all shy when i know i shouldn't.

I'll let everyone know how it goes next week^^/ Thanks you all *hugs*

Nah, I expect he will pull the bandaid off slowly rather than ripping it off. Most people his age probably would. I did, and I don't know if I would have listened if somebody gave me that advice.

 

I can say with experience that cutting contact is magnitudes better but it's his life.

Not always.

 

I had this "problem" a few months ago: I just started a relationship with this girl I met a few weeks before. I liked her, but I wasn't totally lovestruck. A day after we kissed, I meet another girl (friend of a friend) on a party and it's like the perfect match. Never connected so well with a girl. However, she has a boyfriend, I just started a relationship too, so it was a no-go, although we got very close to crossing the border...

So we decided to kinda avoid each other, cause it's for the best: she was already 5 months with her boyfriend, and was really happy with him, so she didn't want to give that up for what might be a shorterm crush. I wouldn't have too much problems "switching" since I only just met my girlfriend a few weeks before and I wasn't 100% convinced she was THE girl of my life. I'd feel [bleep]ing bad though, cause she had been asking me dozens of times if I really meant it seriously with er etc before starting a relationship.

 

However, that totally didn't work out. I couldn't stop thinking about her, and clearly the same for her, so we ended up texting a lot, and meeting a few times for a walk. This carried on for a while, and I was still kinda in love with her so we decided that it wasn't going well, and made an arrangement to not see/talk eachother for a month. The next days were the worst in terms of being in love... Short term it had quite the opposite effect that I was looking for. Less than a week later, we ended up giving up on the arrangement (after coincidently seeing each other at a party and having a damn good time again) and since then things have gotten better actually. We've been studying together (exams right now) and stuff like that, and I'm finally starting to see her as a friend :-)

 

So yeah, long story short: for me, seeing her often actually helped to start seeing her as a friend. However, time will probably have played a role too.

 

For whoever's curious: I'm still with the first girl, and ever since I got rid of my feelings for the other one (kinda), things are going really well, she's a real cutie and I can finally fully appreciate it :-)

I got back together with Ellen. She asked me to be FWB and I basically said "[bleep] that, if you want to hold my hand, or kiss me, or hug me, you need to be in a relationship with me", and surprisingly, she said yes. I also said to her "I'm going to be blunt, don't mess around with me, I won't put up with it".

 

It goes to show that putting your foot down gets you places. I stopped being a wuss and got results.

I got back together with Ellen. She asked me to be FWB and I basically said "[bleep] that, if you want to hold my hand, or kiss me, or hug me, you need to be in a relationship with me", and surprisingly, she said yes. I also said to her "I'm going to be blunt, don't mess around with me, I won't put up with it".

 

It goes to show that putting your foot down gets you places. I stopped being a wuss and got results.

 

That'd be how to do it. Be assertive and confident, but don't go beyond that, it'll make you come across as an arrogant [puncture]. Just remember there's a thin line between the two and you'll be fine. Also, just be aware she might use you again. If she does, end it right then and there.

I got back together with Ellen. She asked me to be FWB and I basically said "[bleep] that, if you want to hold my hand, or kiss me, or hug me, you need to be in a relationship with me", and surprisingly, she said yes. I also said to her "I'm going to be blunt, don't mess around with me, I won't put up with it".

 

It goes to show that putting your foot down gets you places. I stopped being a wuss and got results.

 

I have a bad feeling about this :s

 

As long as you're [both] happy, then nothing's wrong

Yeah honestly I'd say any relationship that has that many problems, that many doubts, and that many instances of breaking up and getting back together isn't going to work in the long run. And the fact that she said she only wants to be FWB tells me that she's not really emotionally invested, even though she agreed to a relationship in the end.

 

But good luck :P

Yeah honestly I'd say any relationship that has that many problems, that many doubts, and that many instances of breaking up and getting back together isn't going to work in the long run. And the fact that she said she only wants to be FWB tells me that she's not really emotionally invested, even though she agreed to a relationship in the end.

 

But good luck :P

 

Glad I'm not the only one thinking that :P

I told him he was taking chances, but like Rpg pointed out earlier you're always taking a ton of chances. Que sera sera. Para todo mal, mezcal. :-w

So I've met another girl now.

 

Her name's Ashley and I've sort of known her from band for a year and a half, but I never really talked to her during that time. However, last saturday a bunch of us band people went out to eat after playing at graduation (including her obviously, we have a lot of mutual friends but just never talked before), and I invited all of them to a bonfire at my place afterwards. they all showed up, and it was pretty awesome, I didn't really talk to her too much though there.

 

Now on friday one of my friends had a bonfire at his house, and she was at that one as well. We talked a lot more that time and she seemed pretty interested in anything I talked about (though I'm not saying thats an IOI, sort of hard to read body language when when its dark out and we're sitting across a smoking bonfire XD). After this I realized she's pretty cool and cute, so I might as well try to see if I can get anywhere.

 

When I got home, I messaged her on facebook and told her that I'm having another bonfire at my place monday (which I am) and that she should come. She said that she would definitely come as long as her parents weren't making her stay home and spend time with them. We then exchanged numbers and she said she would text me once she found out whether or not she could come.

 

So that leads me to now, guess I'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Sorry if that read disjointedly, I'm really tired and just wanted to make sure I posted this while I still remembered.

 

However, I've been wondering, how important is height for attraction? I'm only about 5'4.5" (about 164 cm if that's easier to comprehend xD), which is short for guys I know, and Ashley is about 5'6"-5'7". Does it actually matter though?

I had this story of a midget who was dating a beautiful blonde somewhere, but I lost it. Considering how you're handling this, I'd say the answer is no, not at all. :thumbup:

I'd say give it a try. You... might be friend zoned though. It entirely depends on how things turn out. There's not much of a guarantee she's that interested in you. That said, give it a try. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Yeah honestly I'd say any relationship that has that many problems, that many doubts, and that many instances of breaking up and getting back together isn't going to work in the long run. And the fact that she said she only wants to be FWB tells me that she's not really emotionally invested, even though she agreed to a relationship in the end.

 

But good luck :P

 

Glad I'm not the only one thinking that :P

 

Also came across my mind. Don't get emotionally invested in someone that's just in it for the fooling around. Believe me, that's not fun.

 

 

@Kaphiteman: height makes no difference really. Though I've had many a girl tell me they were into taller guys, this is likely just a flirtatious counter to my preference of shorter women. So no, height doesn't matter.

I got back together with Ellen. She asked me to be FWB and I basically said "[bleep] that, if you want to hold my hand, or kiss me, or hug me, you need to be in a relationship with me", and surprisingly, she said yes. I also said to her "I'm going to be blunt, don't mess around with me, I won't put up with it".

 

It goes to show that putting your foot down gets you places. I stopped being a wuss and got results.

 

That'd be how to do it. Be assertive and confident, but don't go beyond that, it'll make you come across as an arrogant [puncture]. Just remember there's a thin line between the two and you'll be fine. Also, just be aware she might use you again. If she does, end it right then and there.

 

I've made her understand that, I did make it clear that I wouldn't hesitate to drop her if she starts using me.

 

 

I got back together with Ellen. She asked me to be FWB and I basically said "[bleep] that, if you want to hold my hand, or kiss me, or hug me, you need to be in a relationship with me", and surprisingly, she said yes. I also said to her "I'm going to be blunt, don't mess around with me, I won't put up with it".

 

It goes to show that putting your foot down gets you places. I stopped being a wuss and got results.

 

I have a bad feeling about this :s

 

As long as you're [both] happy, then nothing's wrong

 

I've been warned - if it goes wrong and I get upset, the only person I can blame is myself.

No, you didn't "put your foot down". Putting your foot down would have been saying "I'm not interested. If you still want to date two months from now come back and talk to me."

 

I don't think it'll end well. But good luck....

No, you didn't "put your foot down". Putting your foot down would have been saying "I'm not interested. If you still want to date two months from now come back and talk to me."

 

I don't think it'll end well. But good luck....

 

Well said.

As long as he doesn't become a puppy with Stockholm syndrome I say let him do as he pleases.

So I've met another girl now.

 

Her name's Ashley and I've sort of known her from band for a year and a half, but I never really talked to her during that time. However, last saturday a bunch of us band people went out to eat after playing at graduation (including her obviously, we have a lot of mutual friends but just never talked before), and I invited all of them to a bonfire at my place afterwards. they all showed up, and it was pretty awesome, I didn't really talk to her too much though there.

 

Now on friday one of my friends had a bonfire at his house, and she was at that one as well. We talked a lot more that time and she seemed pretty interested in anything I talked about (though I'm not saying thats an IOI, sort of hard to read body language when when its dark out and we're sitting across a smoking bonfire XD). After this I realized she's pretty cool and cute, so I might as well try to see if I can get anywhere.

 

When I got home, I messaged her on facebook and told her that I'm having another bonfire at my place monday (which I am) and that she should come. She said that she would definitely come as long as her parents weren't making her stay home and spend time with them. We then exchanged numbers and she said she would text me once she found out whether or not she could come.

 

So that leads me to now, guess I'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Sorry if that read disjointedly, I'm really tired and just wanted to make sure I posted this while I still remembered.

 

However, I've been wondering, how important is height for attraction? I'm only about 5'4.5" (about 164 cm if that's easier to comprehend xD), which is short for guys I know, and Ashley is about 5'6"-5'7". Does it actually matter though?

 

Eh, probably screwed this up already. My bonfire was today, and about 23 people showed up, including Ashley. But... I don't know. Bleh. I could get her to laugh a lot and I teased her a bit but i still wouldn't say I knew her any better from it. I had to spend some time with all of the subgroups there so I didn't really get as much time with her as I probably could have either. She seemed to enjoy the bonfire though, so I'll keep inviting her to these things but I have a feeling we'll just end up as friends. Which isn't bad, she's cool, its just starting to get sort of frustrating that this keeps happening.

 

Or do I still have a chance with this and I'm just overthinking?

If she asked to be FWB before getting back with you, it's obvious what she wants. But it's your choice really mate.

Kalphite you're not trying to get to know her better when you want to attract her. If you've read my posts on flirting and touching, just remember to be aloof and slowly warm up to her. Don't give her constant attention, take it away at a high point and make her miss it.

I generally translate 'FWB' as 'I want all the fun times without the emotional commitment and without generally caring about what you think'.

 

To be honest, if any one of my exes asked to be FWB, I'd tell them where to [bleep] off. Just my opinion.

Kalphite you're not trying to get to know her better when you want to attract her. If you've read my posts on flirting and touching, just remember to be aloof and slowly warm up to her. Don't give her constant attention, take it away at a high point and make her miss it.

 

After rereading those, I guess things are actually going pretty well then, even if it wasn't quite intentional... and now I get what I did wrong with the last girl, heh. Thanks!

Goddamnit. You guys were right. I'm going to leave her alone, she's immature and she doesn't know what she wants.

 

this is where it seemed to go wrong today;

 

[spoiler=the convo]

Sam says: (19:39:09)

we're both not really in the mood to talk right now really

 

Ellen says: (19:39:56)

you cant say what i am in the mood for and what im not

 

Sam says: (19:40:22)

ok, sorry.

 

 

Ellen says: (19:41:26)

what your annoyed at me because i can say what mood im in

Sam says: (19:41:39)

no

 

Ellen says: (19:41:45)

well it looks like it,

 

Sam says: (19:42:00)

i've got a chest infection

 

Sam says: (19:42:04)

i have a splitting headache

 

Ellen says: (19:42:04)

so

Sam says: (19:42:09)

my pelvis hurt

 

Sam says: (19:42:13)

i have backache

 

Sam says: (19:42:23)

and i came on msn to talk to you

 

Ellen says: (19:42:23)

that doesnt mean you can say what mood I am in ..

 

Ellen says: (19:42:39)

I am not YOU

 

Sam says: (19:43:03)

ok, i apologise

 

Sam says: (19:43:13)

i've got dinner now

 

Ellen says: (19:43:13)

bit late really

 

Ellen says: (19:43:23)

whatever

 

Sam says: (19:43:42)

chat soon xxxx

 

 

 

then she said this to me on facebook;

[spoiler=the convo]

Ellen

You can't tell me how I am feeling sam, you just can't do that. AND THEN you send loads of kisses as if nothing has happened!!!

 

Sam

you're right, I can't - you didn't really seem in the mood to talk and I felt as though it was me who was causing that. I'm sorry

 

Ellen

you shouldnt seem anything - i can't believe you would pretend as if nothing had happened though. who the [bleep] would do that!?

 

Ellen

oh wait, you.

 

Ellen

sam it didnt work before, it isn't working now - do you really think its going to work in the future. Because it don't think it will. Sam we're better off as friends. i don't really care what your mood is at the moment and you can't blame it on that- not again.

Leave me alone, Sam & I mean it this time.

 

 

 

I spent £90 to go to prom with her, yesterday. She's [bleep]ed me around, i don't know why I let this happen to myself.