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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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She broke up with me tonight. She's [bleep]ed me around.

 

She sounds like any other stupid 16-year old girl. Even, if she's actually older. I mean, you weren't being very conversational, but she clearly didn't care about the fact that you were in pain or cared about her feelings. She just cared that you "told her how she felt". Which, is in fact a bad thing to do, however in this particular situation was a completely irrelevant because you merely said that you felt like she felt like not talking. All kinds of stupid up in that converstion. Good riddance to her mate. Time to find your self a girl that's worth the effort.

 

she's actually 15 still.

 

edit: i removed her from MSN, Facebook and from my phone - I signed on to MSN this morning, and I noticed she tried to re-add me. I declined - is that the right thing to do?

 

That seems unnecessary. I would've maintained all forms of communication with her, and treated her as if she was any other random girl if she tried to contact me. However, if she ever tried starting [cabbage], I'd just end the conversation (with or without warning) and possibly even ignore her for the next few days.

 

But since you've already gone through with it, I'd wait a week (or a month...) before re-adding her. Take your mind off her for a while and go do things you enjoy.

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Sam, looking at those conversations, you're being waaay too nice. She's being a complete [bleep], and you're the one saying sorry. The problem is that if you let her treat you that way, then she's gonna walk all over you, and by the sounds of it that exactly what she's done.

 

I agree, and it's a quick way for a girl to lose respect of a guy. It was likely a contributing factor to the decline of the relationship.

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Definitely the right thing to do. Given how you clearly wanted to be with her and she screwed you over so many times, it's better to drop all communication and have at least a few weeks apart to properly get over each other.

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I'm not being an emotional tampon. She's screwed me around, and to be honest, she isn't worth my conversation.

 

Your words and your actions contradict each other

 

How?

 

EDIT: oh, I see. In hindsight, i agree. I'm stubborn and i don't listen.

 

Definitely the right thing to do. Given how you clearly wanted to be with her and she screwed you over so many times, it's better to drop all communication and have at least a few weeks apart to properly get over each other.

 

Exactly.

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I'm not being an emotional tampon. She's screwed me around, and to be honest, she isn't worth my conversation.

 

Your words and your actions contradict each other

 

How?

 

I was going off your previous posts more, but I digress...

 

Basically I just hope that you genuinely do not want her in your life anymore. If you're cutting contact with her just to prove a point, make her jealous, or something like that-- it's going to backfire, and I just wanna make sure you understand that.

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It will not be easy at all. I remember the first girl I liked. And I mean, actually liked. I still had feelings for her a year after the fact.

 

That was when I was younger, a bit younger than you are right now.

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Tenacity and stubborness are both sides of the same coin. For what it's worth, that persistence might come in useful in another relationship at another time with another person. The fact of the matter is, this girl was clearly incapable at dealing with a break-up properly--no amount of stubborness or lack thereof was ever going to change that.

 

Definitely the right thing to do (re: deleting her from contact). Makes the whole thing clearer for everyone if you give space for people to deal with their emotions.

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>>Meet girl on internet

>>exchange dirty texts

>>plan meet up

>>cancelled

[month break]

>>receive dirty text

>>plan meet up

 

1 week until it might happen.

 

Cool? First girl I've ever talked to that was significantly older than me. Certainly intriguing.

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Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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Sam,

 

it sounds like a bad case of girls being girls. Let it die out. I wouldn't let her fall off the face of the earth. But she is 15. I wouldn't put too much emotional investment in it. At that age, have fun for [bleep]'s sake!

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a) She's a kid and it shows. The letter she sent you was full of hollow buzzwords, like "love" and "feeling".

b) I agree with muggi, removing all means to communicate was unnecessary. If you don't want to be an emotional tampon, then if she tries to force you into that role, tell her to [bleep] off, plain and simple; that was the whole point of my telling you to send her a message saying you needed space. Becoming sulky and turning your nose up at someone when faced with a confrontation strikes me as childish, but what's done is done, so let things stay that way.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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How do you mean "hollow buzzwords"

 

I also apologised to her mother over Facebook - her mother then asked me what was actually going on between me and Ellen, so I told her. Ellen then texted me saying "what do you hope to gain from talking to my mother about our relationship? You're making me very angry" - I don't hope to gain anything, I just don't want to seem like a complete and utter idiot towards her parents.

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How do you mean "hollow buzzwords"

 

I also apologised to her mother over Facebook - her mother then asked me what was actually going on between me and Ellen, so I told her. Ellen then texted me saying "what do you hope to gain from talking to my mother about our relationship? You're making me very angry" - I don't hope to gain anything, I just don't want to seem like a complete and utter idiot towards her parents.

 

 

And now that you've done that (which was a VERY classy move), you need to just live life without her a little bit.

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I don't remember. What I do remember is that it went nowhere, and just grabbed your attention without actually saying anything (which obviously left you with more question than answers). Now, there's no reason to answer her because no matter what you say she'll try to turn it back against you.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Well it isn't necessary. It's not their business, it's yours. I consider it extremely irresponsible of parents to be meddling in that kind of thing.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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