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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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<br />Very well said, Daniel. I couldn't have said it better myself.<br /><br />As I posted in the regrets thread, I'm having second thoughts about my current relationship. It's been about a month and a half, we've had sex, she's cute and sexy, and I dig her. I can't pit my finger on what it is, but lately (these past few days) I've just been thinking a lot about breaking up with her. Opinions, comments, questions? I could use some help here.<br />
<br /><br /><br />

 

you know my name? I forgot I ever mentioned it to you lol

 

As for your predicament, I've seen you with some very attractive girls from the pictures you've posted, and you seem to just get along with all of them on some level. It's a blessing and a curse. You have your choice of who you want. But who do you want? At the end of the day, you're young and will be for quite some time. Enjoy being young. Have fun. You seem more suited for a casual relationship/dating/single kind of scenario. Or maybe you just get bored fast? I don't really know you well enough to make that call. This might just be a phase as you find yourself losing the initial spark of your otherwise fresh relationship. I say give it time, unless you feel a real need to break up with her. Obviously being tempted by a bunch of attractive girls on a vacation is going to shake your pubescent male mind up.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Taking the girl I like to glow in the dark mini golf be a good idea of a date?

My relaxation method involves a bottle of lotion, beautiful women, and partial nudity. Yes I get massages.

 

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Yeah it'll be fine. I don't think the choice of date matters that much as long as it allows you to flirt. Touching (alright, you suck, let me show you how to putt like a man) is a bonus.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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So I've hung out with Ashley twice since my last post here.

 

Before that though, I tried texting her again Monday... which was a mistake. The conversation was completely boring, she was barely resoponding because she was at a baseball game and spent way too much time trying to save something that never even got off the ground. Which leads me to my first problem here - I'm probably a bad texter. Though anyone might be when they're getting one line responses for anything and I can normally have some really awesome conversations with the girls I'm into over texts, I seem to have completely hit a wall in this case. maybe I'm just looking into it too much, but neither of the conversations I've had with her have really gotten anywhere. I've read Dan's texting blog thing too, but I guess I'm still sort of bad with starting conversations with things other than "Hey what's up", which I know is an incredibly boring way to start one, though its worked sort of before for me... Whatever, I'm rambling now, but needless to say, I haven't tried having a conversation with her over texting since then.

 

Tuesday my friends got together for a laser tag thing, then went back to my house for a bit before me her and a couple other people went to another friend's birthday party. her reactions to me mostly seemed pretty postive throughout the day/night, and she was still laughing at just about every joke I made the night. I tried escalating touching a bit too, though I know I still need to improve with that. During the night, there were two instances where I was alone with her when I was driving her between places (she volunteered to come with me both times we had to figure out rides). The first one was rather quiet; I started talking about general driving things with her eventually and it picked up a bit though. On the way to my friend's bonfire we had a much more interesting conversation, though the ride was only about a quarter the length of the previous one. I doubt I'm ready to hang out with her alone based on that though, and two of my friends I talked to about this afterward that were there said that they could definitely see us happening.

 

Then yesterday another friend had a party that she was also at. We talked there, but I don't know, I wasn't getting the same vibe from her or something. I mean, it went alright. I didn't spend the whole time with her, as I had a bunch of other friends there as well, and she didn't seem too interested in talking to me until halfway through the thing when we all went out on a walk to get ice cream. After that she seemed more interested and that aspect of it picked up. Still, she didn't seem as interested as she did on Tuesday or at the airsoft thing last saturday, I can't exactly explain why though. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing it or was in the wrong mindset or something.

 

After the party yesterday, one of my friends that was there asked me to invite her to his bonfire he's having Saturday. I did, and she said she'd come to that, So I guess I'll see what happens then.

 

Is there anything I've been doing wrong from that? I know its sort of hard to tell when the only information you're given is this, but I'll give anything else necessary. Also, yeah I need help with the aforementioned texting problem I guess.

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I think you may of missed a chance when you were alone driving. If she offered to come out with you it doesn't always mean something but it more than likely did in this case.

 

It could also explain her attitude the following night.

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Damn it, Kalphite, your posts are the longest! First off, you're doing well and you're actually pretty good at this girl thing, so stop thinking about it so tactically, be optimistic, and let your instinct lead the way once in a while. She's quite interested; she's following you everywhere. No one's a bad texter, if you're good at conversation, you're fine. When texting, just start it up again with an old conversation you had, i.e. do what Dan was saying earlier: take a high, humorous point from another conversation and start from there again. If you want to start touching more, next time you see her try getting her from behind and surprising her by poking her waist. Make sure she doesn't have a drink, that [cabbage] always sucks.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Finally, summer has officially started for me. Two months and five days of being away from Ellen, to do what's best for ME.

2257AD.TUMBLR.COM

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Finally, summer has officially started for me. Two months and five days of being away from Ellen, to do what's best for ME.

YES YES YES YES :grin: :thumbup: :thumbup:

phpFffu7GPM.jpg
 

"He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder."

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Very well said, Daniel. I couldn't have said it better myself.As I posted in the regrets thread, I'm having second thoughts about my current relationship. It's been about a month and a half, we've had sex, she's cute and sexy, and I dig her. I can't pit my finger on what it is, but lately (these past few days) I've just been thinking a lot about breaking up with her. Opinions, comments, questions? I could use some help here.

 

you know my name? I forgot I ever mentioned it to you lol

 

As for your predicament, I've seen you with some very attractive girls from the pictures you've posted, and you seem to just get along with all of them on some level. It's a blessing and a curse. You have your choice of who you want. But who do you want? At the end of the day, you're young and will be for quite some time. Enjoy being young. Have fun. You seem more suited for a casual relationship/dating/single kind of scenario. Or maybe you just get bored fast? I don't really know you well enough to make that call. This might just be a phase as you find yourself losing the initial spark of your otherwise fresh relationship. I say give it time, unless you feel a real need to break up with her. Obviously being tempted by a bunch of attractive girls on a vacation is going to shake your pubescent male mind up.

What can I say. ;)

 

Seriously though, thanks for making it a bit clearer to me. I'll give it a bit more time, but if I don't see any changes in my mindset in say... three weeks to a month, there's no point in staying in the relationship anymore because it's obviously not what I want.

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Alright, thanks for the encouragement Omar, but now I have a feeling that I screwed it up now anyways. I talked to her on facebook earlier today, and after finding out she wasn't really doing anything, I asked her if she wanted to hang out before the bonfire for a while. She said she had to do some laundry for like 20 minutes and was feeling lazy and that shed get back to me (this is at about 2 pm). At about 3:30 today I asked her if she'd made up her mind and she said that she was laying out now and would just see me at the bonfire. So basically, shed rather do nothing. I probably jumped the gun with asking her to hang out like this. Bleh, ill try to do better at the bonfire, but I doubt this will be any more successful than any other relationship I've tried.

 

Or am I overreacting as per usual?

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Yes. She's around you all the time anyway as far as I can tell. Maybe she's just feeling really lazy.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Kalphite you are going to analyze yourself right out of that relationship--whatever it may be. Stop thinking, give her space, be patient and kind, and you will do fine :thumbup:

phpFffu7GPM.jpg
 

"He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder."

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Alright, thank you xD. Bleh, sitting at home with no power leaves me without much else to do than overanalyze things, lol. This is just probably the closest I've gotten to...anything, so i'm naturally a bit nervous about the whole deal.

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Everyone is guilty of it, but it is knowing when to stop that is most important :razz:

phpFffu7GPM.jpg
 

"He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder."

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Alright, thank you xD. Bleh, sitting at home with no power leaves me without much else to do than overanalyze things, lol. This is just probably the closest I've gotten to...anything, so i'm naturally a bit nervous about the whole deal.

 

It's understandable but just breathe and take a step back.

 

Making her come after you sometimes is never a bad thing.

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So I just got back from the bonfire. I tried keeping up everything I've been doing, tried the poking her in the sides thing and touching and stuff, and was really in a much better mindset than I've been since I started freaking out over the whole deal. But... she was unresponsive again like on at my friend's party on Thursday. She also was barely talking to anyone there (me sometimes but I always sort of had to lead it before she went back on her phone0 and was mainly texting one of my other friends the whole time who she had been talking to more on Thursday...I'd started to notice something then but didn't know whether I was just making things up or not. Ugh.

 

I know I know insert overreaction comments here, but.. its not like I've been inviting her to anything I haven't been inviting a crapton of other people to as well, and its probably just that they were legitimately fun things I've been planning that she wanted to come to. Like, she's coming with my group to a fireworks show for the fourth of July and to another bonfire I'm having Thursday, but I doubt that really means she's interested. Bleh. Again, probably just overreacting/overanalyzing like every single other post about her on here, but I just have a feeling this will end up just going nowhere like every other time.

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I think you're missing a piece of the puzzle. She's got a life too, maybe something happened. Maybe her hamster's dead.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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It's not that she's been in a bad mood, she's seemed happy enough, its that she's seemed more interested in said friend (who she had met last monday at my bonfire) ever since she started mentioning him on tuesday, which also is the day that things started going downhill (if there truly was an up).

 

EDIT:

 

I've talked to a couple more friends about this scenario. A couple of them who ere there tonight agreed about her seeming more into my other friend, and another said he was completely oblivious to any thing going on either way. However, the most significant of these conversations was with a friend who also was close friends with her.

 

This friend, Andrea, said that Ashley is basically a waste of time, as she jumps from guy to guy incredibly fast and would just end up breaking my heart in the end and that she generally wouldn't have been a good match for me. After continuing to talk to her, i started realizing that the problem probably was that I wasn't actually interested in dating Ashley so much as I was in the idea of dating Ashley. My best friends who I normally hang out with all the time both have entered relationships and have been spending all their time this summer with their significant others...and really, I'm starting to think that this whole situation was more about me being in a couple so I could hang out with them on their double dates and such more than me actually liking Ashley. I mean, she's cute and all, but after hanging out with her for three weeks now I still don't even know her enough to hold an interesting conversation and I'm not really all that sure I'd want a relationship with her.

 

This also really helped me realize...I don't need to be bothering with this yet. I'm going to work on improving myself more really. Starting singing lessons soon, and I've probably won the audition for the drummer spot of a local band in addition to having a lot more to work on my drumming in general. I probably should start working out again too, definitely wouldn't hurt anything. This summer can be really awesome without having to deal with this. I'll find someone eventually, but first I really have to start with myself.

 

Sorry for wasting your guys' time with this ordeal.

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Aw [cabbage], 5 star post brotha! Best of luck, no need to apologize.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Finally, summer has officially started for me. Two months and five days of being away from Ellen, to do what's best for ME.

 

Shouldn't Ellen, as a woman, be doing that anyway?

 

 

...

 

Disclaimer: This is a pseudo-sexist joke. It is does not reflect the author's opinion, in part or in whole, and should not be interpreted as such.


"Imagine yourself surrounded by the most horrible cripples and maniacs it is possible to conceive, and you may understand a little of my feelings with these grotesque caricatures of humanity about me."

- H.G. Wells, The Island of Doctor Moreau

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