"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[muggiwhplar]

I'm guessing she isn't attractive, or else this wouldn't be a problem :P

[Omar]

She's two years younger, and she doesn't sound very interesting. This is easily the fifth time this happens though, hence my mentioning it here. Only once with someone my age, too.

[Kalphite]

I've hung out with Ashley a couple more times since my last post. Last night we went bowling with a decent sized group where another friend's band was playing, and today we went to another of my friend's houses for an airsoft shindig thing (she was like the second best one there and it was her first time o_O) both of which were a lot of fun. I think I'm still doing things right still, but while she'll laugh at almost anything I say now, I don't really know what else to really look for in terms of IOIs.

 

However, I also might have screwed a couple things up. I tried texting her for something other than inviting her to something tonight, which didn't turn out too well. The conversation started out interesting but died down after about half an hour. I realize its natural for conversations to die down but normally I can keep them interesting for longer than that, but I'm probably overanalyzing this. Still, I'm a bit hesitant to try that again. Also, aside from hugging her goodbye and occasionally touching her hand or something as a joke, I probably haven't been escalating touching enough, though with what ended up happening today I really didn't see a natural way to do so. Also, I've been giving her more attention these last couple times rather than being more aloof like at my bonfire on monday (last time I had seen her before these events), but again I guess that's natural when the groups have gotten progressively smaller (23 at the bonfire to about 13 at bowling to 6 today).

 

I'm probably overanalyzing this, but Are these mistakes actually all that bad? Also, what would be some more IOIs to look for?

[Zygimantas]

I've hung out with Ashley a couple more times since my last post. Last night we went bowling with a decent sized group where another friend's band was playing, and today we went to another of my friend's houses for an airsoft shindig thing (she was like the second best one there and it was her first time o_O) both of which were a lot of fun. I think I'm still doing things right still, but while she'll laugh at almost anything I say now, I don't really know what else to really look for in terms of IOIs.

 

However, I also might have screwed a couple things up. I tried texting her for something other than inviting her to something tonight, which didn't turn out too well. The conversation started out interesting but died down after about half an hour. I realize its natural for conversations to die down but normally I can keep them interesting for longer than that, but I'm probably overanalyzing this. Still, I'm a bit hesitant to try that again. Also, aside from hugging her goodbye and occasionally touching her hand or something as a joke, I probably haven't been escalating touching enough, though with what ended up happening today I really didn't see a natural way to do so. Also, I've been giving her more attention these last couple times rather than being more aloof like at my bonfire on monday (last time I had seen her before these events), but again I guess that's natural when the groups have gotten progressively smaller (23 at the bonfire to about 13 at bowling to 6 today).

 

I'm probably overanalyzing this, but Are these mistakes actually all that bad? Also, what would be some more IOIs to look for?

Haha you havn't really made any mistakes :P Just relax, your doing fine. I say get to know her/talk to her a bit more and then maybe ask her to hang out with you, without any other friends ;)

 

 

 

She's two years younger, and she doesn't sound very interesting. This is easily the fifth time this happens though, hence my mentioning it here. Only once with someone my age, too.

You must be at least somewhat attractive :thumbup:

[Iamdan]

Don't worry about looking for ioi's, they're something you should be aware of, but let your intuition worry about it.

 

Don't worry about long conversations all the time but don't let them die out slowly. End them at a high point because you can make a reference to it next time such as calling her a nickname you gave her, and her emotional state will rise to that high point that you left off at. It's a simple idea but works well.

 

Start touching asap. If you've made a mistake, it's not doing that. Doing it naturally is easy, is there any clarification you need on my touching post? Tell her you're the thumb war champion, high five her for something, invent a ridiculous secret handshake. Link your touch to fun in her mind, but keep it short so she misses it and initiates it herself and you're practically home free. Tell her not to touch you in a playful manner when she does, and you can bet your ass she will do it more. Give her a spanking for it, the possibilities are endless.

 

The hardest part is getting her alone with you, after that it's fairly easy for any girl that you have progressed that far with.

[Jeffwilson99]

Start touching asap. If you've made a mistake, it's not doing that. Doing it naturally is easy, is there any clarification you need on my touching post? Tell her you're the thumb war champion, high five her for something, invent a ridiculous secret handshake. Link your touch to fun in her mind, but keep it short so she misses it and initiates it herself and you're practically home free. Tell her not to touch you in a playful manner when she does, and you can bet your ass she will do it more. Give her a spanking for it, the possibilities are endless.

 

This is good advice :thumbup:

[RpgGamer]

lol irony.

 

Only one person complaining there because you had the sheer audacity to strike a civil conversation with her parents. You horrible person. :rolleyes:

A question, Why does a girl pretend to be a lesbian then quickly stop after making it evidently clear she had some attraction to you? And by some I mean a fair amount..

Attention seeking.

 

Penile plethysmography studies have proven that on average males are more aroused by lesbian pornography than they are when watching hetereosexuals. As soon as teenage guys hear those golden words 'I'm a lesbian' their heads go crazy with ideas, oblivious of course to the fact that being a lesbian (as opposed to being bisexual) inherently means they have no interest in males. So yeah, I'm guessing she was going round telling people she was a lesbian to get people thinking about her in "that way", only to open up the possibility she might be want to be "that way" with you. Question is: are you complaining?

 

Of course the alternative explanation is peer pressure. If her friends were all lesbians she felt she had to "choose" to be one as well just to fit in. But that seems absurd.

 

Well she isn't, I told her she was lying as soon as she said it because it was to obvious she was straight...

 

I'm 100% behind Ginger on this call. Some girls act "lesbian" and even claim to be to get the attention and affection of guys. Shows how ass backward our minds really work.

 

She asked me out. #-o

 

I've had this happen before.

>> random add on facebook

>>add for teh lulz

>>causally converse occasionally

>>WILD CLINGY NUTCASE APPEARS

 

I've rejected more girls that way....

[Omar]

She's two years younger, and she doesn't sound very interesting. This is easily the fifth time this happens though, hence my mentioning it here. Only once with someone my age, too.

You must be at least somewhat attractive :thumbup:

That, or it's the performances at the school talent show, or a combination of both. <_<

[Shiny]

I'm sorry, Dan, everytime you whip out references to your touching post, I feel a little dirty inside. Its just that word. Touching.

 

 

Anyway, gonna go on a date with my gf next weekend - Ideas? Trying to move away from seeing a movie.

[Surprise]

I'm sorry, Dan, everytime you whip out references to your touching post, I feel a little dirty inside. Its just that word. Touching.

 

 

Anyway, gonna go on a date with my gf next weekend - Ideas? Trying to move away from seeing a movie.

 

Dinner?

Something she enjoys as a hobby?

[Iamdan]

I'm sorry, Dan, everytime you whip out references to your touching post, I feel a little dirty inside. Its just that word. Touching.

 

 

Anyway, gonna go on a date with my gf next weekend - Ideas? Trying to move away from seeing a movie.

 

Maybe you're uncomfortable with the idea of me touching someone else.

 

Hit up scoopon or the equivalent in your area. They have dinners, shows, hotel rooms, boat rides diving trips etc for pretty good prices.

 

Failing that, just go somewhere exploring and try and find your own spot. Me and the missus found a comfortable isolated spot way above the beach that way. Great for sex but also nice for just watching the beach with fish n chips or something.

 

You could also take up an exotic hobby together. I do fire twirling/poi.

[Orpheus]

I lie.

 

Bad run of luck or something?

[Sam]

Asked a girl to prom, and she agreed, so I'm happy. Not sure how it's going to go, but hey!

[Lekti]

Well everyone was right in telling me not to worry about what happen between the guy i like and my sister and her boyfriend.

 

We hanged out all of yesterday like i wanted to, chilled on the beach and then went to my cities yearly fair for a few hours and had lots of fun riding on all of the rides.

 

When i dropped him back off to his house i just came out with the fact that i liked him, and asked him if maybe he would like to go out on more of a date date type of thing. He said he didn't know i liked him, but he said he would be happy to go out on a proper date with me sometime.

 

Now i really like him, to the point where I want to date him. But i don't know how to go about it. Do i just tell him how i feel, or do i take it slow and just see if it works itself out? I'm not overly worried about just being upfront about it and telling him how i feel, but at the same time i don't want to come across as pushy or something if that makes any sense at all... >.<

[Range_This11]

I think you should go on a few dates and let things play out before you confess your adoration for him. Telling him you are fond of him is one thing, but try not to come across as obsessed--whether you are or not. That tends to drive some guys away if it is revealed too soon.

 

And Sam, good to hear brother. I think that should definitely help things :thumbup:

[Ginger_Warrior]

Go for a few dates, read his body language, see how you both feel and go at whatever pace seems most comfortable.

[Kalphite]

Already have plans to hang out with Ashley in groups at a laser tag get-together thing on Tuesday and a friend's party on Thursday. Assuming those go well, I'll have to figure out how to hang out with her alone then, which I'm guessing if she's agreeing to all of these plans so easily and I keep doing things right I should be able to get her to agree to easily enough.

 

What are some ideas for something I could do with her if this goes through though? Most things I do in groups it seems, and when I hang out with just one other person its usually more out of boredom than doing something interesting.

[Range_This11]

The sure-fire way is to find out her interests. That will give you a better idea of what she may like to do on a date. Something simple like going on a walk might do the trick. It is free and pretty much guaranteed to generate some conversation.

[RpgGamer]

I've added ice skating to my roster of dating scenarios. Cold getaway from summer heat, reason to touch [for heat, or balance]. And practically mandatory hand holding.

 

Obviously followed by a bonfire.

[Surprise]

I've added ice skating to my roster of dating scenarios. Cold getaway from summer heat, reason to touch [for heat, or balance]. And practically mandatory hand holding.

 

 

That is a very clever idea.

 

Also, how do you stop a girl picking her university choices around you?

[Shiny]

I'm sorry, Dan, everytime you whip out references to your touching post, I feel a little dirty inside. Its just that word. Touching.

 

 

Anyway, gonna go on a date with my gf next weekend - Ideas? Trying to move away from seeing a movie.

 

Maybe you're uncomfortable with the idea of me touching someone else.

 

Hit up scoopon or the equivalent in your area. They have dinners, shows, hotel rooms, boat rides diving trips etc for pretty good prices.

 

Failing that, just go somewhere exploring and try and find your own spot. Me and the missus found a comfortable isolated spot way above the beach that way. Great for sex but also nice for just watching the beach with fish n chips or something.

 

You could also take up an exotic hobby together. I do fire twirling/poi.

 

We've found a spot, overlooks the ocean and its plenty private ;). Yeah, i'll check on the online coupon things. Brilliant!

[tripsis]

Also, how do you stop a girl picking her university choices around you?

Have you actually tried talking to her about how she shouldn't change her future for you? Put her on the spot and ask her which universities she is interested in. She's picking her choices around you because she wants to be close to you. If you're willing to keep up a long distance relationship throughout university, make sure she knows that.

[Surprise]

Also, how do you stop a girl picking her university choices around you?

Have you actually tried talking to her about how she shouldn't change her future for you? Put her on the spot and ask her which universities she is interested in. She's picking her choices around you because she wants to be close to you. If you're willing to keep up a long distance relationship throughout university, make sure she knows that.

 

We're not even in a relationship. I met her at an open day, we briefly talked for about two sentences in which she asked for my number. One hour later she has now decided to try to plan her universities around me and plans to visit me even though she lives 3+ hours away....

 

 

Oops?

[tripsis]

Also, how do you stop a girl picking her university choices around you?

Have you actually tried talking to her about how she shouldn't change her future for you? Put her on the spot and ask her which universities she is interested in. She's picking her choices around you because she wants to be close to you. If you're willing to keep up a long distance relationship throughout university, make sure she knows that.

 

We're not even in a relationship. I met her at an open day, we briefly talked for about two sentences in which she asked for my number. One hour later she has now decided to try to plan her universities around me and plans to visit me even though she lives 3+ hours away....

 

 

Oops?

Lol that's weird. Well if you actually want to be friends with her, then you should casually talk to her about it. If not, don't worry about it too much and slowly try to phase her out of your life (i.e. don't talk to her as much). With a little luck, she'll move on :P

[Iamdan]

The missus just left for a 4 week trip to china. Saying goodbye was harder than either of us expected... Damn relationships :/

 

Pix you need to carefully probe the situation and find out asap if you need to either talk to her about it or apply for a passport.