"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

So I just got back from the bonfire. I tried keeping up everything I've been doing, tried the poking her in the sides thing and touching and stuff, and was really in a much better mindset than I've been since I started freaking out over the whole deal. But... she was unresponsive again like on at my friend's party on Thursday. She also was barely talking to anyone there (me sometimes but I always sort of had to lead it before she went back on her phone0 and was mainly texting one of my other friends the whole time who she had been talking to more on Thursday...I'd started to notice something then but didn't know whether I was just making things up or not. Ugh.

 

I know I know insert overreaction comments here, but.. its not like I've been inviting her to anything I haven't been inviting a crapton of other people to as well, and its probably just that they were legitimately fun things I've been planning that she wanted to come to. Like, she's coming with my group to a fireworks show for the fourth of July and to another bonfire I'm having Thursday, but I doubt that really means she's interested. Bleh. Again, probably just overreacting/overanalyzing like every single other post about her on here, but I just have a feeling this will end up just going nowhere like every other time.

 

I realize you already confirmed it, but just reading this post made me think that she was using you to get close to your buddy. But I see you've been enlightened and chosen a better path for yourself. I wish you luck with the band :thumbsup:

[Shiny]

Get with the friend, Andrea.

[Iamdan]

It sounds like you aren't being enough of a challenge for her. Your reasoning behind not wanting a relationship with her (not knowing her that well) seems kinda weak. I mean you may still be into her, there is no need to rush into a relationship though.

 

Your call though.

[Omar]

Your reasoning behind not wanting a relationship with her (not knowing her that well) seems kinda weak.

Disagree, I've been where he is before. When a girl you're not particularly interested in basically presents herself on a silver platter to you, it's easy to go along with it thinking it might lead somewhere. Problem is there will be no tension to keep the dude attracted.

[Iamdan]

I've been in the situation you described before, and I agree with that, however it doesn't look like the girl is offering herself on a silver platter. I don't think he thinks so either with his worrying about having screwed up.

[Kalphite]

Nah, its not just that i don't know her well. It's that, the fact that she already seems interested in my friend, and the biggest one being that i wasn't really all that attracted to her in the first place, like Omar said.I thought that she might be interested because she started coming to everything all of the sudden, so I sort of tricked myself into liking her or something. It's weird. I was worried about screwing up because while it seemed like that at first, once my friend entered the picture it stopped, and before I made the connection I was wondering why it stopped.

 

Anyways, I ended up hanging out with her again yesterday at an impromptu get together at my place with about 10 other people, and it basically confirmed that I wasn't interested in her. I mean, yeah she's still cute and cool to be around, but I just wasn't attracted for whatever reason. She's still hanging out with our group another three times this week (fireworks tonight and two bonfires), so I'm thinking she'll actually stay as a close part of our group, which is fine.

 

Also to whoever it was that said it seemed like she was just trying to get with my friend, I don't think so, seeing as she still hangs out with us a lot when she knows he won't be there and he goes to another school so she didn't know him until he got to my bonfire.

 

Lastly, to the person who said to get with Andrea...lolno. I realize that was probably a joke but she's been in a relationship with another friend for about 10 months and can go quite...insane. Lol, do not want.

[Zygimantas]

Do you ever get tired of bonfires Kal? :-k

[Kalphite]

Do you ever get tired of bonfires Kal? :-k

 

Calling it a bonfire gets a lot more people to come than would happen for just inviting people over I've found xD, I can easily get over 20 people to show up to a bonfire while only maybe 10 would come if I call it something else, lol. Also I've only been having one every two weeks or so, but a lot of my friends have also realized this so they've been having them all over the place. If this is referring to the whole two in one week deal, only one of them's actually mine. It's more of an excuse to hang out with everyone than it is actually about the fire part, lol.

[RpgGamer]

Do you ever get tired of bonfires Kal? :-k

 

Is this even a question?

 

I could have a bonfire every night and still go to bed a happy and entertained man

[muggiwhplar]

*Waiting patiently for the next opportunity to use the following image*

 

[Zygimantas]

Do you ever get tired of bonfires Kal? :-k

 

Is this even a question?

 

I could have a bonfire every night and still go to bed a happy and entertained man

Living in an apartment with no backyard for nightly bonfires has limited my bonfire experience :P

[Rock Hard]

Kay your texting a chick a bit, she gets boring so you dont text back, she doubletexts and you still dont tb, she rings you while your on break at work, tell her your at work and she says 'ok text me'

 

So you text her and tell her to come out to town tonight and she doesnt text bacķ.

 

Girls a weirdo? :/

[Ginger_Warrior]

Or she ran out battery because she was too busy texting people.

[Surprise]

Or your phone didn't send it.

Or her phone didn't receive it.

Or she was doing what you were doing.

Or she simply didn't want to see you and though it was better to ignore than say.

Or plenty of other things.

 

It's only a text message; there are are plenty more serious things you could be devoting your time to worrying/thinking about.

[Duff]

Tonight I've scheduled a meeting between myself and this girl I've liked for a hell of a long time now. We've been talking for 9 months over text and occasionally in person (we go to different universities, but we're high school friends).

 

During those 9 months, it has literally been impossible for me to tell whether or not she's interested in me at all. Before anyone jumps to the typical piece of advice, yes, I did ask her at the beginning of everything, and our situation was pretty screwed up at that point (she had just broken up with one of my really good friends, whose older sister I had just broken up with). So, her response was more of a "you're such a fantastic guy, but our situation is delicate and we can't expect anything to happen at this point" response. Ever since then, I've been flirting with her, complimenting her, asking her about her days, what she was going through, telling her I'd be there for her to talk to about whatever she felt comfortable with telling me. And she did. Then some weird [cabbage] happened at her school one weekend and I didn't get a text from her for two whole weeks (during which I came up with a dozen different explanations, i.e. she found another guy she really liked, or she fooled around with a guy on accident and regretted it and was to embarrassed to talk with me about it). Her best friend who goes to my university apparently knew what happened, but I was much too paranoid to try and ask her for fear of being too nosy. So after two weeks, I texted her with a simple, "Is everything okay?" And she responded apologizing for not responding, and that she had gone through a difficult situation, and that she really wanted to tell me in person (meaning the next time we both were home).

 

Ever since then, though, are texts have been less frequent, and I'm always instigating the conversation. And it's rarely ever finished. Like, I'll write to her making an observation like, "Guess who I met today? yadda yadda, gym teacher's dad from way back, yadda yadda." She'll respond with, "Oh wow, that's so funny, etc... How's your day?" And then I'll respond telling her about it and then asking her about hers (this is maybe between 11am and 1pm). It'll be 11 pm and I'll be going to bed, so I'll text her goodnight, to which i get a response at maybe 12:30am saying goodnight back. I genuinely care about what she does during her days, but she never gets to telling me about it.

 

I dunno how she feels at all, and so I finally texted her and said, "I've finally found the guts to say that we need to talk very soon, in person." She agreed, and so we're going to talk tonight. And my main question to her will be: "Are you even remotely interested in me/do you want my attention/should I even try anymore/can you see yourself with me?"

 

--------

For those wanting to avoid a block of text: Talking serious with a girl I'm crazy about (it's been 7 months since we last talked serious), going to find out if I have a chance with her, or if I'm just stuck being her good friend. The sad part is, I'm so [bleep]ing crazy about her and don't think I'll be able to handle a no. Least, it'll take a while for me to get over her. I mean, come on, I've gone 7 months without any sign of her being interested, and my feelings haven't changed.

 

Scared as [cabbage]. 1) I want her to know how I feel; 2) I don't want to sound like some emo [bleep] and creep her out.

[Surprise]

Try to keep it simple don't waffle around and try to not break down in front of her if you get a no.

 

Good luck, let's hope for the best.

[Rock Hard]

Or your phone didn't send it.

Or her phone didn't receive it.

Or she was doing what you were doing.

Or she simply didn't want to see you and though it was better to ignore than say.

Or plenty of other things.

 

It's only a text message; there are are plenty more serious things you could be devoting your time to worrying/thinking about.

Not worrying lol, just curious to whether that would put anyone else off?

Cuz for some reason it has done so to me, bug the [cabbage] out of me when im at work then ignore when I give her a lil attention? No hun...

[RpgGamer]

Tonight I've scheduled a meeting between myself and this girl I've liked for a hell of a long time now. We've been talking for 9 months over text and occasionally in person (we go to different universities, but we're high school friends).

 

During those 9 months, it has literally been impossible for me to tell whether or not she's interested in me at all. Before anyone jumps to the typical piece of advice, yes, I did ask her at the beginning of everything, and our situation was pretty screwed up at that point (she had just broken up with one of my really good friends, whose older sister I had just broken up with). So, her response was more of a "you're such a fantastic guy, but our situation is delicate and we can't expect anything to happen at this point" response. Ever since then, I've been flirting with her, complimenting her, asking her about her days, what she was going through, telling her I'd be there for her to talk to about whatever she felt comfortable with telling me. And she did. Then some weird [cabbage] happened at her school one weekend and I didn't get a text from her for two whole weeks (during which I came up with a dozen different explanations, i.e. she found another guy she really liked, or she fooled around with a guy on accident and regretted it and was to embarrassed to talk with me about it). Her best friend who goes to my university apparently knew what happened, but I was much too paranoid to try and ask her for fear of being too nosy. So after two weeks, I texted her with a simple, "Is everything okay?" And she responded apologizing for not responding, and that she had gone through a difficult situation, and that she really wanted to tell me in person (meaning the next time we both were home).

 

Ever since then, though, are texts have been less frequent, and I'm always instigating the conversation. And it's rarely ever finished. Like, I'll write to her making an observation like, "Guess who I met today? yadda yadda, gym teacher's dad from way back, yadda yadda." She'll respond with, "Oh wow, that's so funny, etc... How's your day?" And then I'll respond telling her about it and then asking her about hers (this is maybe between 11am and 1pm). It'll be 11 pm and I'll be going to bed, so I'll text her goodnight, to which i get a response at maybe 12:30am saying goodnight back. I genuinely care about what she does during her days, but she never gets to telling me about it.

 

I dunno how she feels at all, and so I finally texted her and said, "I've finally found the guts to say that we need to talk very soon, in person." She agreed, and so we're going to talk tonight. And my main question to her will be: "Are you even remotely interested in me/do you want my attention/should I even try anymore/can you see yourself with me?"

 

--------

For those wanting to avoid a block of text: Talking serious with a girl I'm crazy about (it's been 7 months since we last talked serious), going to find out if I have a chance with her, or if I'm just stuck being her good friend. The sad part is, I'm so [bleep]ing crazy about her and don't think I'll be able to handle a no. Least, it'll take a while for me to get over her. I mean, come on, I've gone 7 months without any sign of her being interested, and my feelings haven't changed.

 

Scared as [cabbage]. 1) I want her to know how I feel; 2) I don't want to sound like some emo [bleep] and creep her out.

 

Phone's also have a calling function, don't ya know ;)

 

I suggest you get in the habit of using that instead of texting. Anyone can text anyone at anytime. But calls are special.

[Duff]

I'd be more willing to use a voice call if I was more sure she was interested. Texts are pretty informal and just polite, which is the level I see us on. I'm way to scared to jump to the next level, scared of frightening her off.

 

Anyway, thought I should come back and tell you all how it went. In part: wonderful; in the other, disastrous.

 

We talked for five hours straight pretty much. That's where it was wonderful. It was disastrous because we didn't address the issue. I was enjoying us just telling each other about life and college and random things, enjoying it so much that I didn't want to ruin fun and happy conversations with a most likely serious and awkward one.

 

So, I didn't say a word of what I had planned on saying... I left her house quite happy with her company, though.

 

Guess it's postponed for a later date now. :x

[RpgGamer]

I'd be more willing to use a voice call if I was more sure she was interested. Texts are pretty informal and just polite, which is the level I see us on. I'm way to scared to jump to the next level, scared of frightening her off.

 

Anyway, thought I should come back and tell you all how it went. In part: wonderful; in the other, disastrous.

 

We talked for five hours straight pretty much. That's where it was wonderful. It was disastrous because we didn't address the issue. I was enjoying us just telling each other about life and college and random things, enjoying it so much that I didn't want to ruin fun and happy conversations with a most likely serious and awkward one.

 

So, I didn't say a word of what I had planned on saying... I left her house quite happy with her company, though.

 

Guess it's postponed for a later date now. :x

 

Dude if you can't talk to her on the phone every now and then, what kind of boyfriend do you really think you're presenting yourself to potentially be?

 

You sound like you're afraid of crossing boundaries, which is exactly what girls don't go for.

[Duff]

Wow, you're right. I like her so much that's it's making me too afraid to cross boundaries. I just gotta man up. Plus, she knows I don't like talking on the phone, so I guess that'd be good to show her; that I'm willing to talk on the phone with her.

 

Thanks dude.

 

I'll post back with an update later.

[Surprise]

Is there a nice but blunt way to tell girl you don't want to skip school and travel 200 miles to just see her? This is the girl who wants to go to the same Unis as me.

 

Edit: I fear being alone with her...

[obfuscator]

Is there a nice but blunt way to tell girl you don't want to skip school and travel 200 miles to just see her? This is the girl who wants to go to the same Unis as me.

 

Edit: I fear being alone with her...

Just tell her?

[Surprise]

Is there a nice but blunt way to tell girl you don't want to skip school and travel 200 miles to just see her? This is the girl who wants to go to the same Unis as me.

 

Edit: I fear being alone with her...

Just tell her?

 

I've tried. She thinks it's a joke..

[tripsis]

It sounds like you need to just stop talking to her.