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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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This is mainly @RPG -- I'm feeling good about the relationship now. Those 'second thought' feelings are gone and everything is going great. :thumbup:

 

Nice to hear it Bows :)

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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Even a fling might be a bit awkward.

 

In other news I may have to take myself off the market...

Used by date has expired?

haha, smooooooth :P

Lol nah sort of seeing a nice wee lass :wink:

Nick's growing up guys!

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Even a fling might be a bit awkward.

 

In other news I may have to take myself off the market...

Used by date has expired?

 

 

haha, smooooooth :P

Lol nah sort of seeing a nice wee lass :wink:

Mis-read that a bit :razz:

Unfinished netherrack symbol of Khorne.

 

Never forget. ~creeper face w/single tear~

 

DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!?!

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So is anyone here in a long distance relationship? If so I'd like any advice you can give me please, because soon I'm going to be in Manhattan and my girlfriend in Miami, and I don't see that changing in the next four years [of college] [excluding long holidays, etc.].

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He who wears his morality but as his best garment were better naked... Your daily life is your temple and your religion
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So is anyone here in a long distance relationship? If so I'd like any advice you can give me please, because soon I'm going to be in Manhattan and my girlfriend in Miami, and I don't see that changing in the next four years [of college] [excluding long holidays, etc.].

*raises hand* :P Here are some things to keep in mind:

 

- Long distance relationships only have a decent shot at working if both people are looking for a long-term relationship and are extremely committed. You literally have to be able to imagine yourself potentially marrying this person one day. Long distance relationships are kind of an investment. It's like you're willing to sacrifice a few years of not being together for a lifetime together in the future.

 

- It is very possible that one (or both of you) will start having trust issues at some point. Don't let it destroy your relationship. Communicate with one another, reassure each other often, and don't let the other person have any doubts.

 

- Make an effort to talk as much as possible. Many people in LDRs tend to "forget" about the other person. Since they can't physically be together, they forget about maintaining regular contact. Talk often via phone, text, messenger, web cam, etc. Find ways to connect without physically being together. Play online games together, watch movies at the same time, leave messages for your girlfriend "just because," etc.

 

- Talk about the future often. Figure out what's going to happen after university. Where are you guys going to live? Figuring out an "end point" will give the relationship some hope. It helps if you know when and where you'll be together more permanently.

 

I might add more later but I have to run :P I hope that helps for now!

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Doom I was just wondering, you said you talked about "shutting eachother up", does this mean you made out with her then she told you she didn't like you anymore? :S

 

 

 

Never kissed a girl in my life. :?

 

 

 

 

LoL :blink: ..... Which Century are you living in

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Doom I was just wondering, you said you talked about "shutting eachother up", does this mean you made out with her then she told you she didn't like you anymore? :S

 

 

 

Never kissed a girl in my life. :?

 

 

 

 

LoL :blink: ..... Which Century are you living in

 

Look at the time stamp before replying to posts buddy ;)

 

 

One of my closest relationships just moved 10 hours away. I am sad. Could I picture marrying her one day? Yes. Will I try to maintain a long distance relationship? Hell no. I'm gonna spend these next couple years living my own individual life, as she does her own, and then when she moves back here after college we'll see how things work out. Likely they will. But it's not a promise.

 

But every relationship is different I suppose

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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So...

 

I started talking to a chick recently and asked for her number. She said she didn't know me well enough but she might give it to me later if we keep talking. Am I SOL with this girl? I really like her... :sad:

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How do you keep talking if you don't know how to contact her? :o

 

Or are you in the same workplace/volunteer group/religious group etc so you see her a lot?

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She's probably just defensive, Talk to her more and see if you still like her

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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So, I have this mindset that makes relationships with girls rather difficult. I'm rather picky when it comes to what girls I find attractive to the point of actually wanting to be in a physical relationship with them. So there are very few who are in this category, and at this time, only one that I possibly have a chance with.

 

A lot of my friends around me get into a lot of flings. We'll go to a party and often times guys from my group will go make out with girls that went to our high school (while under the influence). But no other meaningful relationship exists between these 'couples' besides the occasional physical 'get together'. For me, such a relationship doesn't look appealing at all, especially since none of these girls are attractive to me to the point of wanting to do anything physical with them.

 

I feel like I shouldn't be going around having physical-only relationships with girls, because 1) I want to be able to be honest with a girl I get into a serious relationship with and tell her how I didn't just mess around with a bunch of other girls (basically, I've kinda held back and waited for said girl); and 2) all the girls I do find extremely attractive (i.e. those who I would do physical things with) I'd rather have a serious relationship with.

 

Anyway, I think it's preventing me from getting over certain girls. I could be like all my other friends and just get drunk and flirt like hell and take advantage of the situation and just make out (or do more) with all these other girls. But for some reason, I don't want to do that. And, tbh, my hormones are really pissed off at me because of it. :P

 

So... anyone else experiencing something similar?

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I'm sure a lot of people feel that way. I have never been someone to have flings or take relationships lightly. I only enter into a relationship if I can see it going somewhere long-term.

 

While your opinion may be different from the high school norm, it's not exactly weird or abnormal either. There are other people who feel like that too - you just have to look for them.

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I feel like I shouldn't be going around having physical-only relationships with girls, because 1) I want to be able to be honest with a girl I get into a serious relationship with and tell her how I didn't just mess around with a bunch of other girls (basically, I've kinda held back and waited for said girl); and 2) all the girls I do find extremely attractive (i.e. those who I would do physical things with) I'd rather have a serious relationship with.

 

Anyway, I think it's preventing me from getting over certain girls. I could be like all my other friends and just get drunk and flirt like hell and take advantage of the situation and just make out (or do more) with all these other girls. But for some reason, I don't want to do that. And, tbh, my hormones are really pissed off at me because of it. :P

 

So... anyone else experiencing something similar?

 

The societal programming is strong in this one >_>

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I guess it was how I was raised. You know, that whole 'treat girls with respect' thing. And to me, making out with a girl without looking for a deeper relationship isn't having much respect for her. I've never ever thought of ever being in a 'friends-with-benefits' relationship. Frankly, that disgusts me.

 

Don't get me wrong, I don't judge my friends as bad people. They're not as bad as so many other people.

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I guess it was how I was raised. You know, that whole 'treat girls with respect' thing. And to me, making out with a girl without looking for a deeper relationship isn't having much respect for her. I've never ever thought of ever being in a 'friends-with-benefits' relationship. Frankly, that disgusts me.

 

Don't get me wrong, I don't judge my friends as bad people. They're not as bad as so many other people.

 

You seem to be making it sound like having a friend with benefits is immoral, or disrespectful to women though.

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While I don't find anything immoral about those types of hook-ups, they are not my cup of tea. I cannot fathom how someone can enjoy the physical attributes of "friends-with-benefits" while having no desire for an emotional/verbal bond. I get this mental image of very awkward sex. But to each his own.

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I came off that way, yikes. And now that I think of it, if both people are just in it for the action (and they both truthfully didn't want anything more), then I guess it isn't disrespectful to either of them. When we get to friends with benefits along the lines of a full on sexual relationship, I do have a problem with that, because I'm [one of the few, perhaps] who believes in sex after marriage. So in that case, I would label their actions as immoral. Note: doesn't mean I'm going to be an [wagon] to them unless they're offensive about it.

 

I'm not going to get in an argument about that, though. Regardless of whether or not it's disrespectful to women (it being friends with benefits on a level where actual intercourse isn't involved), for some reason I just don't feel good about doing it.

 

My friends always make jokes and want honest answers when they ask, "Would you have sex/make out with [chick from our school]." And I'll say, "No." They'll say, "Even if she wanted you to, she asked you to?" And I still say no, because I just don't feel comfortable doing it.

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So, I have this mindset that makes relationships with girls rather difficult. I'm rather picky when it comes to what girls I find attractive to the point of actually wanting to be in a physical relationship with them. So there are very few who are in this category, and at this time, only one that I possibly have a chance with.

 

A lot of my friends around me get into a lot of flings. We'll go to a party and often times guys from my group will go make out with girls that went to our high school (while under the influence). But no other meaningful relationship exists between these 'couples' besides the occasional physical 'get together'. For me, such a relationship doesn't look appealing at all, especially since none of these girls are attractive to me to the point of wanting to do anything physical with them.

 

I feel like I shouldn't be going around having physical-only relationships with girls, because 1) I want to be able to be honest with a girl I get into a serious relationship with and tell her how I didn't just mess around with a bunch of other girls (basically, I've kinda held back and waited for said girl); and 2) all the girls I do find extremely attractive (i.e. those who I would do physical things with) I'd rather have a serious relationship with.

 

Anyway, I think it's preventing me from getting over certain girls. I could be like all my other friends and just get drunk and flirt like hell and take advantage of the situation and just make out (or do more) with all these other girls. But for some reason, I don't want to do that. And, tbh, my hormones are really pissed off at me because of it. :P

 

So... anyone else experiencing something similar?

I know exactly how you feel because I am the same way.

 

I've never had a truly serious relationship and have never gone beyond a kiss on the cheek as far as physicality goes. Everybody these days has way more experience than I do, and it often makes me feel pretty insecure. However, I absolutely do not want to become another statistic for some girl. I was raised to value the emotional bond created by a sexual relationship, rather than to view sex as something to do just because it feels good. I really hope to someday meet a girl who is the same way (doubtful as it may seem).

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