Ginger_Warrior Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I dated a chick like that once. She would explode if I ever kept anything from me. Was only a 3 week relationship as I found out end of 2nd week she was having sex with her ex. This was when I was 14 mind you, she was 13 going 14, her ex was 28. AWKWAAAAAARD.A 13 year old and a 28 year old... erm... what? That's sick and twisted, there's no other words for it. My girls have never hid anything from me. People tell me I have a quality that just makes people want to open up. A helpful trait. Though a lot of times I find myself hearing things I really didn't want to :/I agree that trust is something earned through tact and sensitivity rather than given for free simply because you find yourself in a relationship. Trust me not to do anything behind your back and I'll trust you to know what I'm up to. | Favourite Game Music | Last.fm | HYT Friend Chat Rules | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rob Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iamdan Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I convinced my ex to break up with her boyfriend, and I'm not sure if I should feel bad or not. I partially did it so that I'd have a chance with her again, but on the same note, the relationship was failing anyways. He was becoming a control freak (He called her best friend and basically begged her to cancel her plans with her so that she'd be able to hang out with him) and getting mad whenever she would be with someone other than him, basically. It was really upsetting her. So, yeah, should I feel bad? I do at the moment, but I also know that even if I had no feelings for her any more, I would have given her the exact same advice, because the relationship was causing more bad than good for her. She doesn't appear to be too upset, or just isn't showing it at all. Her now ex-boyfriend appears to be pretty devastated over it, though. I don't think I should feel bad, but I do <_< How did you do it? If you said 'you should break up with him because..' then you probably hurt your chances with her, though it's not as bad as if they hadn't broken up. Doing this usually just brings them closer together because you can't logic someone out of a relationship unless they were going to break up anyway which I assume is the case here. If you did it like "don't be upset about it, he is just *seemingly positive personality trait which is also unattractive*" then you're in a better position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rob Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Warrior Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Be honest, what was the real reason you got involved? You saw a friend being hurt in a failing relationship, and helped her to realise her own decision to leave that relationship;You saw a friend being hurt in a failing relationship, and told her to get out of it;You were jealous because she was in a new relationship, saw you had a chance to break it, and took the opportunity when it presented itself.If you're wanting to know whether you did right by her, I'd say if you were doing it for 1), you've nothing to feel bad about. Also, at the moment she might be quite vulnerable, so even if she says she's interested in getting back with you, be cautious. She might not have gotten over this relationship and she might just be looking for a rebound with whom she feels familiar, which won't do either of you any good in the long term. As far as this other guy's concerned, is that really any of your business so long as you were just supporting her as a friend? The reason that relationship fell apart was because he was too overbearing and protective, and she wasn't for taking it, not because you advised her that her decision was probably the correct choice to make. | Favourite Game Music | Last.fm | HYT Friend Chat Rules | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rob Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giordano Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 If a relationship can be broken through the jelously of a third indivdual, then it was already weak no? Assuming you were meaning to give off a negative connodation, with that red text. "The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Every relationship can be weak, doesn't mean it can't work. Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Warrior Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 I was more focusing on how she made her decision, not the status of the relationship. In ny opinion, it's never right to force an opinion on somebody else because it happens to suit you more. The other person's right to make their own, informed decision should always be respected. Hence why the last one was red, because it was the opposite of that, whereas in the green example, she's been given the space and freedom to make her own decision. But Rob gave her every opportunity to make a decision of her own and only after about three attempts did he say what he thought so... I don't see anything wrong there. | Favourite Game Music | Last.fm | HYT Friend Chat Rules | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duff Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 So, I dunno if some of you know, but the girl situation I'm in is a bit weird. I probably talked about it a few pages back. But I kinda jumped forward a bit on advice, and now I'm asking for advice on basically the core of my relationship with this girl. I dated, as a senior in high school, a junior in college (girl 1). In the beginning of last November, I broke up with girl 1. This girl happens to be the older sister of one of my best high school buddies. At the time I was dating girl 1, he was dating another girl from my high school (girl 2). I broke up with girl 1 because the long distance thing wasn't working, and I found that many things about her kinda annoyed me. My relationship with girl 1 was very serious, and lasted 11 months. My best buddy broke up with girl 2 at the end of our senior year of high school. His reasons were a combination of his own feelings and the coercion of girl 1 (his sister, my girlfriend at the time). I had always liked girl 2, though I had never been close to her. So it was difficult to hear my girlfriend (girl 1) talk bad about her all the time (which was a quality I found I didn't appreciate in her). I have been (since 8 months ago) and still am head-over-heels for girl 2 now. It's been 9 months since I broke up with girl 1 and longer since my best buddy broke up with girl 2. Am I okay to try to go for girl 2? I mean, all my other buddies who are best buds with this guy say he wouldn't care (he's a real womanizer at college). But my ex (girl 1) despises girl 2. I don't know how long I have to wait. Girl 1 isn't an awful person. So I still care about her. She'd probably take it really hard, thinking that somehow this girl 2 is better than her. But isn't 9 months long enough? At some point, I should be able to tell people that I'm going to hang out with girl 2 without worrying about word getting to girl 1 that I like girl 2. I'm not even sure if girl 1 knows I like girl 2 atm... Yuck. | My Tumblr | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surprise Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 You seem very attached to Girl 1 still but you've got to realise that you are no longer in a relationship with her. You no longer need to start worrying about how she will react to everything because it's not your responsibility any more, you come before her now. Therefore stop worrying about what how she will react to everything. She has more than likely moved onto other people without giving a damn whether you would care. If anything I would start worrying more about your best friend; "womenizer" or not he could still feel hurt that you went directly behind his back without at least telling him so maybe at least talk to him about it. He could possibly even give you some advice regarding how to work with her. In short, stop caring about girl 1, go for it and tell your best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Big read. But yeah, like Pix said, it's not your problem what Girl 1 thinks. 2257AD.TUMBLR.COM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duff Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 You seem very attached to Girl 1 still but you've got to realise that you are no longer in a relationship with her. You no longer need to start worrying about how she will react to everything because it's not your responsibility any more, you come before her now. Therefore stop worrying about what how she will react to everything. She has more than likely moved onto other people without giving a damn whether you would care. If anything I would start worrying more about your best friend; "womenizer" or not he could still feel hurt that you went directly behind his back without at least telling him so maybe at least talk to him about it. He could possibly even give you some advice regarding how to work with her. In short, stop caring about girl 1, go for it and tell your best friend.Big read. But yeah, like Pix said, it's not your problem what Girl 1 thinks.My womanizer friend, I guess I should say, kinda surprised all of our group when he went off to college. His reasons from breaking up with girl 2 dealt with him needing to 'grow' (which girl 2 apparently was preventing), and that he didn't want a relationship at that point, since college is a whole new experience. Funny thing is, they both attended the same college. Anyway, he's kinda got into a mess. He's hooked up with a dozen girls and had sex with several (which is a big deal with our group, because we're rather traditional when it comes to actually having sex, and we never thought he'd be the first one to lose his virginity). And he did this all during the period in which girl 2 was still recovering, so it made it worse for her. They're on horrible terms, tbh. I've talked to her about it and she made it clear she was very dissappointed in his actions and didn't want to date a guy like him again. He avoids her (most likely because he took advantage of her being a bit under the influence). My point is, @Sam, he'd be the last one I'd get advice from regarding how to work with her. Haha. But also, @Standard, it's hard to tell if he even cares about her at all anymore, with the way he treated her and is still treating her. Sorry for the lengthy posts. :\ EDIT: But I can totally see why I shouldn't worry about what girl 1 thinks anymore, seeing as eventually it (finding someone else) was going to happen. But I can see her wanting to lecture me about girl 2 and trying to tell me (again) why girl 2 won't be good for me. | My Tumblr | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surprise Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Don't even talk to Girl 1 about it. Move on and forget about girl 1 during this process. That's all I have to say about that post, you just seemed to waffle without actually asking for advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 So, I dunno if some of you know, but the girl situation I'm in is a bit weird. I probably talked about it a few pages back. But I kinda jumped forward a bit on advice, and now I'm asking for advice on basically the core of my relationship with this girl. I dated, as a senior in high school, a junior in college (girl 1). In the beginning of last November, I broke up with girl 1. This girl happens to be the older sister of one of my best high school buddies. At the time I was dating girl 1, he was dating another girl from my high school (girl 2). I broke up with girl 1 because the long distance thing wasn't working, and I found that many things about her kinda annoyed me. My relationship with girl 1 was very serious, and lasted 11 months. My best buddy broke up with girl 2 at the end of our senior year of high school. His reasons were a combination of his own feelings and the coercion of girl 1 (his sister, my girlfriend at the time). I had always liked girl 2, though I had never been close to her. So it was difficult to hear my girlfriend (girl 1) talk bad about her all the time (which was a quality I found I didn't appreciate in her). I have been (since 8 months ago) and still am head-over-heels for girl 2 now. It's been 9 months since I broke up with girl 1 and longer since my best buddy broke up with girl 2. Am I okay to try to go for girl 2? I mean, all my other buddies who are best buds with this guy say he wouldn't care (he's a real womanizer at college). But my ex (girl 1) despises girl 2. I don't know how long I have to wait. Girl 1 isn't an awful person. So I still care about her. She'd probably take it really hard, thinking that somehow this girl 2 is better than her. But isn't 9 months long enough? At some point, I should be able to tell people that I'm going to hang out with girl 2 without worrying about word getting to girl 1 that I like girl 2. I'm not even sure if girl 1 knows I like girl 2 atm... Yuck. If it's cool with your bro, you're good to go. Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Range_This11 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Personally, I would never date a girl one of my best friends dated. It just seems wrong. "He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duff Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Personally, I would never date a girl one of my best friends dated. It just seems wrong.We aren't super good friends any more since we went to different schools (weren't extremely close to begin with). And, he treated her like [cabbage]. I've always felt like I'd be the kind of guy who would show her what a good relationship is like (and that not all guys are [wagon]). I felt it was wrong at first, too. But things changed, I guess, and he got more out of control. | My Tumblr | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surprise Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Personally, I would never date a girl one of my best friends dated. It just seems wrong.We aren't super good friends any more since we went to different schools (weren't extremely close to begin with). And, he treated her like [cabbage]. I've always felt like I'd be the kind of guy who would show her what a good relationship is like (and that not all guys are [wagon]). I felt it was wrong at first, too. But things changed, I guess, and he got more out of control. Just go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Personally, I would never date a girl one of my best friends dated. It just seems wrong. I did it, it worked for quite a while. While you can be good bros, they can't decide who you date. 2257AD.TUMBLR.COM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffwilson99 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Personally, I would never date a girl one of my best friends dated. It just seems wrong. Depends what you mean by dated, like as in a reasonably serious relationship, then I completely agree. Maybe if you're a bit younger and the relation wasn't overly serious, but I still think it would be kind of weird, especially if you hang in the same circle of friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Range_This11 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 I mean obviously if they had a month fling type deal I wouldn't have a problem with it, but if it was at all serious, I just couldn't do it. I can't really explain why but that relationship just doesn't sit right with me. "He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffwilson99 Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Even a fling might be a bit awkward. In other news I may have to take myself off the market... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Even a fling might be a bit awkward. In other news I may have to take myself off the market...Used by date has expired? Popoto.~<3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bows Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 This is mainly @RPG -- I'm feeling good about the relationship now. Those 'second thought' feelings are gone and everything is going great. :thumbup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Even a fling might be a bit awkward. In other news I may have to take myself off the market...Used by date has expired? haha, smooooooth :P 2257AD.TUMBLR.COM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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