"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Dragonlordjl]

It's just that from what I've seen, friends who have the same moral stance as you guys tend to become unhappy and/or frustrated in the long-run because of it :\

It's true.

[Duff]

I'm frustrated beyond belief. And quite unhappy. I just don't know if having casual physical relationships would make me happy. I want a serious one. D:

 

I just try to either keep it off my mind via activities (longboarding, video games, movies) or just tell myself that it should be worth it once I get married. And I sure as hell hope it's worth it. :s

[Dragonlordjl]

I'm frustrated beyond belief. And quite unhappy. I just don't know if having casual physical relationships would make me happy. I want a serious one. D:

 

I just try to either keep it off my mind via activities (longboarding, video games, movies) or just tell myself that it should be worth it once I get married. And I sure as hell hope it's worth it. :s

Yup. We're so similar it's eerie.

 

I had trained myself not to get attached to anybody-- it's easier and less stressful to be lonely than to pine for someone. And it did make my life quite a bit more pleasant. Then I met the girl I mentioned several posts ago, and allowed myself to feel again, and as a result my emotions were once again thrown into turmoil.

[Giordano]

Are you still in High School?

[Dragonlordjl]

Are you still in High School?

I'm in college.

[Duff]

Yup. We're so similar it's eerie.

 

I had trained myself not to get attached to anybody-- it's easier and less stressful to be lonely than to pine for someone. And it did make my life quite a bit more pleasant. Then I met the girl I mentioned several posts ago, and allowed myself to feel again, and as a result my emotions were once again thrown into turmoil.

Sure is.

 

I've actually been pining for someone for about 9 months now, and it's been pretty [cabbage]ty at times and fantastic at other times (but mostly [cabbage]ty). So, I'd have to totally agree when you say that it's easier to not have anyone you're really interested in. It just plain sucks when you're interested and she either isn't or you have no idea if she is or not. But this girl has the same morals as me when it comes to saving ourselves for marriage, and she wants a virgin for a boyfriend. I don't know how many girls I'm going to meet like her. :\ :oops:

[muggiwhplar]

It's just that from what I've seen, friends who have the same moral stance as you guys tend to become unhappy and/or frustrated in the long-run because of it :\

It's true.

 

I meant even after finding "the one."

 

In case you thought I meant right now :P

[Dragonlordjl]

Yup. We're so similar it's eerie.

 

I had trained myself not to get attached to anybody-- it's easier and less stressful to be lonely than to pine for someone. And it did make my life quite a bit more pleasant. Then I met the girl I mentioned several posts ago, and allowed myself to feel again, and as a result my emotions were once again thrown into turmoil.

Sure is.

 

I've actually been pining for someone for about 9 months now, and it's been pretty [cabbage]ty at times and fantastic at other times (but mostly [cabbage]ty). So, I'd have to totally agree when you say that it's easier to not have anyone you're really interested in. It just plain sucks when you're interested and she either isn't or you have no idea if she is or not. But this girl has the same morals as me when it comes to saving ourselves for marriage, and she wants a virgin for a boyfriend. I don't know how many girls I'm going to meet like her. :\ :oops:

So why haven't you made a move?

[obfuscator]

@muggi: actually, I've found it's mostly the opposite.

 

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

[tripsis]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

[obfuscator]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

[Dragonlordjl]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

A relationship built around sex is not really a relationship. No matter how good it is in the beginning, it WILL get boring eventually and then all that will remain is two people who, likely, cannot stand to be in the same room as each other. Sex is an important part of a serious relationship, but it's not everything, not by a long shot. A good relationship has to be built around friendship, around sharing common interests and genuinely enjoying each other's company, or it is doomed to fail.

[Duff]

So why haven't you made a move?

I have. But given the circumstances (different colleges) we're kinda at a stand still. I was trying to get that to change this summer (i.e. getting to know each other really well, hanging out a lot, maybe even getting into a relationship and trying a long distance one), but she took summer classes for a whole month, and we've both been working for two months now, so that kinda fell through.

 

And +1 on everything you said, dude. It's exactly how I would've said it.

[I_am_Geed]

Girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me tonight.....

 

I feel betrayed. Everything I'v worked for, the money and the time I'v spend, all out the window because she meets this insignificant little [cabbage], hangs out with him a few times and now she feels "confused?"

 

What the [bleep]?!?!?!

 

Yeah im pissed. Worst part is this has happened to me before ( with a different girl )

 

[bleep]IN THING SUCKS

[Dragonlordjl]

Girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me tonight.....

 

I feel betrayed. Everything I'v worked for, the money and the time I'v spend, all out the window because she meets this insignificant little [cabbage], hangs out with him a few times and now she feels "confused?"

 

What the [bleep]?!?!?!

 

Yeah im pissed. Worst part is this has happened to me before ( with a different girl )

 

[bleep]IN THING SUCKS

I had a girl dump me because she felt attracted to her best friend. Who was also a girl.

 

WAT

[I_am_Geed]

Girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me tonight.....

 

I feel betrayed. Everything I'v worked for, the money and the time I'v spend, all out the window because she meets this insignificant little [cabbage], hangs out with him a few times and now she feels "confused?"

 

What the [bleep]?!?!?!

 

Yeah im pissed. Worst part is this has happened to me before ( with a different girl )

 

[bleep]IN THING SUCKS

I had a girl dump me because she felt attracted to her best friend. Who was also a girl.

 

WAT

 

 

Now see thats mildly hot.

 

Its such [cabbage] for me because We go to college in the same city yet when were home were 5 hours apart, so because she "missed me" she started hanging out with other guys.

 

 

Im pretty upset.

[Dragonlordjl]

Girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me tonight.....

 

I feel betrayed. Everything I'v worked for, the money and the time I'v spend, all out the window because she meets this insignificant little [cabbage], hangs out with him a few times and now she feels "confused?"

 

What the [bleep]?!?!?!

 

Yeah im pissed. Worst part is this has happened to me before ( with a different girl )

 

[bleep]IN THING SUCKS

I had a girl dump me because she felt attracted to her best friend. Who was also a girl.

 

WAT

 

 

Now see thats mildly hot.

 

Its such [cabbage] for me because We go to college in the same city yet when were home were 5 hours apart, so because she "missed me" she started hanging out with other guys.

 

 

Im pretty upset.

 

To other guys, it's hot, but to me it was [bleep]ing humiliating and deflating.

 

Also, the only girl I ever loved (different girl than the one who went les) dumped me to date a drop-out loser for close to two years and actually move in with him. Shortly after they moved in, he started doing cocaine. Nice choice, [bleep].

[fakeitormakeit2]

Girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me tonight.....

 

I feel betrayed. Everything I'v worked for, the money and the time I'v spend, all out the window because she meets this insignificant little [cabbage], hangs out with him a few times and now she feels "confused?"

 

What the [bleep]?!?!?!

 

Yeah im pissed. Worst part is this has happened to me before ( with a different girl )

 

[bleep]IN THING SUCKS

I had a girl dump me because she felt attracted to her best friend. Who was also a girl.

 

WAT

I thought I was the only one. And yea, it kind of annoys me greatly when guys say that that's "hot." First of all, it's betrayal and embarrassment, and secondly I honestly don't see lesbians appealing.

[RpgGamer]

Girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me tonight.....

 

I feel betrayed. Everything I'v worked for, the money and the time I'v spend, all out the window because she meets this insignificant little [cabbage], hangs out with him a few times and now she feels "confused?"

 

What the [bleep]?!?!?!

 

Yeah im pissed. Worst part is this has happened to me before ( with a different girl )

 

[bleep]IN THING SUCKS

I had a girl dump me because she felt attracted to her best friend. Who was also a girl.

 

WAT

 

 

Now see thats mildly hot.

 

Its such [cabbage] for me because We go to college in the same city yet when were home were 5 hours apart, so because she "missed me" she started hanging out with other guys.

 

 

Im pretty upset.

 

To other guys, it's hot, but to me it was [bleep]ing humiliating and deflating.

 

Also, the only girl I ever loved (different girl than the one who went les) dumped me to date a drop-out loser for close to two years and actually move in with him. Shortly after they moved in, he started doing cocaine. Nice choice, [bleep].

 

[bleep] had it comin' hahaha

 

So, I have this mindset that makes relationships with girls rather difficult. I'm rather picky when it comes to what girls I find attractive to the point of actually wanting to be in a physical relationship with them. So there are very few who are in this category, and at this time, only one that I possibly have a chance with.

 

A lot of my friends around me get into a lot of flings. We'll go to a party and often times guys from my group will go make out with girls that went to our high school (while under the influence). But no other meaningful relationship exists between these 'couples' besides the occasional physical 'get together'. For me, such a relationship doesn't look appealing at all, especially since none of these girls are attractive to me to the point of wanting to do anything physical with them.

 

I feel like I shouldn't be going around having physical-only relationships with girls, because 1) I want to be able to be honest with a girl I get into a serious relationship with and tell her how I didn't just mess around with a bunch of other girls (basically, I've kinda held back and waited for said girl); and 2) all the girls I do find extremely attractive (i.e. those who I would do physical things with) I'd rather have a serious relationship with.

 

Anyway, I think it's preventing me from getting over certain girls. I could be like all my other friends and just get drunk and flirt like hell and take advantage of the situation and just make out (or do more) with all these other girls. But for some reason, I don't want to do that. And, tbh, my hormones are really pissed off at me because of it. :P

 

So... anyone else experiencing something similar?

 

you're on a runescape forum, of course people will have experienced similar. Including myself. And as someone brought up, those who hold these values usually end up being rather surly, disappointed, and mopey about their decisions, from my opinion stemming from a general dejection from normal society. As for me? I gave up on my values and started hooking up with random girls. I felt better. For a while. But while holding said values, with enough persistence and luck you really will find the right girl, as I thought I did once. As long as you feel you're progressing toward what you truly want, and you know it's what you truly want, you have no right to feel bad about it.

[muggiwhplar]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

[Surprise]

[hide=quote chain]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

[/hide]

 

Unhealthy? There are few actually proved advantages of having sex bar pleasure (again debatable). Yes going without it may start driving you up the walls but there is no harm in waiting.

 

If it was feasible to wait till marriage I would consider but that ideal doesn't sit well with todays culture.

[Tim]

[hide=quote chain]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

[/hide]

 

Unhealthy? There are few actually proved advantages of having sex bar pleasure (again debatable). Yes going without it may start driving you up the walls but there is no harm in waiting.

 

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHA AHHAHHHAAAAAA!

 

*wipes tear* Clearly you've never gone more then 6 months.

[RpgGamer]

[hide=quote chain]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

[/hide]

 

Unhealthy? There are few actually proved advantages of having sex bar pleasure (again debatable). Yes going without it may start driving you up the walls but there is no harm in waiting.

 

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHA AHHAHHHAAAAAA!

 

*wipes tear* Clearly you've never gone more then 6 months.

 

I am most curious as to how you came up with that deduction

[Tim]

[hide=quote chain]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

[/hide]

 

Unhealthy? There are few actually proved advantages of having sex bar pleasure (again debatable). Yes going without it may start driving you up the walls but there is no harm in waiting.

 

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHA AHHAHHHAAAAAA!

 

*wipes tear* Clearly you've never gone more then 6 months.

 

I am most curious as to how you came up with that deduction

honestly, a 100% random guess. I couldn't care less anymore tbh if I get laid or not, my hand keeps me company during the lonely times and the PS3 keeps my mind constantly thinking of new art ideas I want to design.

[Surprise]

[hide=quote chain]

And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

[/hide]

 

Unhealthy? There are few actually proved advantages of having sex bar pleasure (again debatable). Yes going without it may start driving you up the walls but there is no harm in waiting.

 

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHA AHHAHHHAAAAAA!

 

*wipes tear* Clearly you've never gone more then 6 months.

 

I am most curious as to how you came up with that deduction

honestly, a 100% random guess. I couldn't care less anymore tbh if I get laid or not, my hand keeps me company during the lonely times and the PS3 keeps my mind constantly thinking of new art ideas I want to design.

 

November 28th, pretty sure that's over 6 months, haven't had it since. Maybe I'm better at controlling temptation.