"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Ginger_Warrior]

No I don't, but drunk actions are sober thoughts, right?

 

My guess is that when she's sober, she realises a relationship could ruin the friendship, but when she's drunk, she cares a little less about that than she'd otherwise want to. Still, end result suggests she's very happy keeping it in the 'friend zone'.

 

And Standard... I think the point I'm making is when secrets turn into lies, and when they start to affect and harm other people, there's a problem; but a relationship where the other person knows everything about my history, my actions and my thoughts makes the word 'love' turn into doublethink.

[RpgGamer]

No I don't, but drunk actions are sober thoughts, right?

 

My guess is that when she's sober, she realises a relationship could ruin the friendship, but when she's drunk, she cares a little less about that than she'd otherwise want to. Still, end result suggests she's very happy keeping it in the 'friend zone'.

 

naw, and I'm cool with that. She's one of my best friends. In fact she's my ex's best friend, and one of my best friend's ex's. She recently just got a boyfriend too. But we've always joked about how weird it would be for us to get together like that. I mean, I've kissed her and stuff before, but it's all just like close-feelings not like romantic feelings y'know? it's just funny how repulsed by the thought of hooking up with me she is when she's sober, but then she's all up in my stuff when she's drunk haha. i was just curious if anyone else has ever had a relationship like that with someone.

[Duff]

Is something a secret if no one is trying to uncover it? :o

[Ginger_Warrior]

Um... yes? :huh:

 

I don't know what you're driving at...

[Duff]

Guess it's similar to the whole, "If a tree falls but no one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound" type thing. I guess what I meant was, can you call it a secret if you aren't really hiding it from anyone (as in no one is 'searching' for it).... Uhhh, like, could I be classified as in hiding if no one is actually looking for me?

 

I dunno. Was dumb. Sorry. Just something that came to my mind.

[Tim]

Does anyone else have that really attractive female friend that you've known forever get along great with, mutually agreed that friendship is where its at, but then when you get drunk together she's all up on you? [only to completely reject you whole heatedly when sober?]

Yep. Happens frustratingly all the time with someone.

[tripsis]

Is something a secret if no one is trying to uncover it? :o

It's not about who's trying to uncover it, it's about how you're trying to hide it. So if you don't want anyone to know and you won't tell anyone, then it's a secret.

[Ginger_Warrior]

Guess it's similar to the whole, "If a tree falls but no one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound" type thing. I guess what I meant was, can you call it a secret if you aren't really hiding it from anyone (as in no one is 'searching' for it).... Uhhh, like, could I be classified as in hiding if no one is actually looking for me?

 

I dunno. Was dumb. Sorry. Just something that came to my mind.

I guess it depends on the situation. If the secret was the fact that you cheated on them, but they (wrongly) trusted you enough in the first place not to bother investigating, is that a secret? I'd still say yes, moreover it's you've denied that other person the truth so therefore you've lied as well as kept a secret.

 

It's the lying that's dangerous, because it's indicative of a fundamental breakdown in trust.

[Duff]

Btw, I wasn't asking cause I felt I had lied/kept a secret. Was....pondering. :P

 

I do see what both of you (Ginger, Tripsis) mean, though.

[Flyingjj]

Secrets for me would me something that I can't know, or would not be available to me should I ask. Do I know absolutely everything about my girlfriend? No. Do I believe everything would be available to me should I want to know? Yes.

 

I think that's the key for me.

[RussetAlpha]

Because it feels good to like and be liked.

 

This to infinity. I personally like a guy, and not for sure if he like me back. I asked him to Sadies (dance) and we had a really good time (he brought me a rose; we danced, held hands, all that fun stuff). We've been really good friends for a few years now. We always give each other hugs at school :3 I kinda hope we have a more close, personal relationship in the coming school year.

[Sam]

You HOPE? Go and get him!

[RussetAlpha]

1) We're both conditioning/practicing for out sports for school. That's taking up time ;)

2) He went to Spain on a trip for like a week.

 

And one of my girlfriends said the same thing..

[Ginger_Warrior]

The fact you both do athletics might help the relationship. If you're spending time exercising to improve your sports performances, you need someone who'll help motivate you, not try and tempt you away from doing the hard yards in the gym. Same works for him.

[Noxx]

And Standard... I think the point I'm making is when secrets turn into lies, and when they start to affect and harm other people, there's a problem; but a relationship where the other person knows everything about my history, my actions and my thoughts makes the word 'love' turn into doublethink.

All depends on the type of person you are or he/she is (the one you're dating). Some people go ballistic when you keep the tiniest thing a secret. Whether it's a lie or not. It's the whole "omission is betrayal" thing i guess. If you keep something a secret they might assume you're hiding it for a reason, good or bad. Usually they're going to think the latter.

[Tim]

And Standard... I think the point I'm making is when secrets turn into lies, and when they start to affect and harm other people, there's a problem; but a relationship where the other person knows everything about my history, my actions and my thoughts makes the word 'love' turn into doublethink.

All depends on the type of person you are or he/she is (the one you're dating). Some people go ballistic when you keep the tiniest thing a secret. Whether it's a lie or not. It's the whole "omission is betrayal" thing i guess. If you keep something a secret they might assume you're hiding it for a reason, good or bad. Usually they're going to think the latter.

I dated a chick like that once. She would explode if I ever kept anything from me. Was only a 3 week relationship as I found out end of 2nd week she was having sex with her ex. This was when I was 14 mind you, she was 13 going 14, her ex was 28.

 

AWKWAAAAAARD.

[tripsis]

I dated a guy like that too. At the time I was browsing a photography forum on a semi-regular basis. And he got so upset that I didn't tell him about it.. it's not like I was hiding anything there it just never came up in conversation o_O

[Tim]

I dated a guy like that too. At the time I was browsing a photography forum on a semi-regular basis. And he got so upset that I didn't tell him about it.. it's not like I was hiding anything there it just never came up in conversation o_O

"Ashley! You were viewing an image forum WITHOUT TELLING ME? how could you?!? who knows what you were looking at!"

 

Something like that?

[tripsis]

I dated a guy like that too. At the time I was browsing a photography forum on a semi-regular basis. And he got so upset that I didn't tell him about it.. it's not like I was hiding anything there it just never came up in conversation o_O

"Ashley! You were viewing an image forum WITHOUT TELLING ME? how could you?!? who knows what you were looking at!"

 

Something like that?

More like:

 

"Heh why didn't you tell me? I thought you said you'd never hide things from me... what else are you hiding from me???"

[Tim]

I dated a guy like that too. At the time I was browsing a photography forum on a semi-regular basis. And he got so upset that I didn't tell him about it.. it's not like I was hiding anything there it just never came up in conversation o_O

"Ashley! You were viewing an image forum WITHOUT TELLING ME? how could you?!? who knows what you were looking at!"

 

Something like that?

More like:

 

"Heh why didn't you tell me? I thought you said you'd never hide things from me... what else are you hiding from me???"

Kinda creepy. Whenever I was in relationships Sure I was edgy at first because I only dated once a year, but pretty much after a week I was like "yeah whatever. If you have a secret you dont wanna tell, thats up to you."

 

Like, we ALL have secrets (and in this case general hobbies), its not like the other person needs to know every ounce of data about you. My friend Sammy, her ex was absolutely paranoid; not just because he abuses his girlfriends out of fear they'll leave him, but if she ever visited a friend she HAD to tell him, how long etc. Even a gay friend he was scared of losing her. Thats just over-protection. but I digress.

 

 

Onto something more lightening, Since saying IDGAF about being in a relationship I have not once regretted saying that yet. feelsgoodman.jpg.

[Guest Rob]

---

[Jeffwilson99]

Paranoia can kill relationships.

[Duff]

Gonna get that discussion sesh (number 2) this weekend. Asked her if she had time, and she said she wasn't busy at all. Just have to keep telling myself to focus on the issue. No sidetracks; though I really like just hearing about what she's been up to.

 

Wish me luck, boys [and girls].

[RpgGamer]

And Standard... I think the point I'm making is when secrets turn into lies, and when they start to affect and harm other people, there's a problem; but a relationship where the other person knows everything about my history, my actions and my thoughts makes the word 'love' turn into doublethink.

All depends on the type of person you are or he/she is (the one you're dating). Some people go ballistic when you keep the tiniest thing a secret. Whether it's a lie or not. It's the whole "omission is betrayal" thing i guess. If you keep something a secret they might assume you're hiding it for a reason, good or bad. Usually they're going to think the latter.

I dated a chick like that once. She would explode if I ever kept anything from me. Was only a 3 week relationship as I found out end of 2nd week she was having sex with her ex. This was when I was 14 mind you, she was 13 going 14, her ex was 28.

 

AWKWAAAAAARD.

 

ewwwwww

 

that's just...ewwww

 

If that was your first encounter of a relationship, that explains a whole mess of your trust issues buddy. My girls have never hid anything from me. People tell me I have a quality that just makes people want to open up. A helpful trait. Though a lot of times I find myself hearing things I really didn't want to :/

[Surprise]

My last relationship was very much like Tim's; I couldn't keep the smallest thing from her without her going completely mad yet she was still allowed to [bleep] my best friend behind my back..

 

Good old trust.