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And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

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Unhealthy? There are few actually proved advantages of having sex bar pleasure (again debatable). Yes going without it may start driving you up the walls but there is no harm in waiting.

 

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHA AHHAHHHAAAAAA!

 

*wipes tear* Clearly you've never gone more then 6 months.

 

I am most curious as to how you came up with that deduction

honestly, a 100% random guess. I couldn't care less anymore tbh if I get laid or not, my hand keeps me company during the lonely times and the PS3 keeps my mind constantly thinking of new art ideas I want to design.

 

November 28th, pretty sure that's over 6 months, haven't had it since. Maybe I'm better at controlling temptation.

So... only 8 months..

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And if you bring statistics into it, relationships without premarital sex are less likely to end in divorce. Causality is up for grabs, but it's still interesting.

But that's probably more about the people behind those ideas and the morals they have rather than the act of sex itself :P Like as one example, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the people who don't believe in sex before marriage also don't believe in divorce, regardless of how good their relationship still is.

Like I said, causality is up for grabs. But I do think there's something to the theory that a relationship is stronger if it first succeeds non-sexually.

 

Causality is very important here, though. Divorced or not, it's long-term happiness and well-being that I am trying to emphasize.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

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Unhealthy? There are few actually proved advantages of having sex bar pleasure (again debatable). Yes going without it may start driving you up the walls but there is no harm in waiting.

 

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHA AHHAHHHAAAAAA!

 

*wipes tear* Clearly you've never gone more then 6 months.

 

I am most curious as to how you came up with that deduction

honestly, a 100% random guess. I couldn't care less anymore tbh if I get laid or not, my hand keeps me company during the lonely times and the PS3 keeps my mind constantly thinking of new art ideas I want to design.

 

November 28th, pretty sure that's over 6 months, haven't had it since. Maybe I'm better at controlling temptation.

So... only 8 months..

 

Yes but that's longer than your "6 months." Sex is not needed in a relationship, yes it's nice to have but a relationship doesn't need it to function.

I am geed, you seem to think she owes you something. Attraction isn't a choice, instead of getting mad take a step back and think about what killed the relationship. And it's not just because of the long distance thing.

 

You may have more control than you think.

 

Women date dead [cabbage]s and jerks all the time. Instead of having thoughts about the girl being dumb or whatever, think about the qualities that attracted her.

Dan pretty much took the words out of my metaphorical forum mouth - the earlier you understand that attraction isn't a choice, the more success you'll have with women. When a girl doesn't 'feel it', she'll often be very indirect on how she 'tells' you - hanging out with other guys, not talking to you, etc.

 

That said - anyone will feel like that after a long-winded relationship - I felt exactly the same. It's completely natural, but in time you'll see it from a different perspective.

 

Don't mope about it - she dumped you, but dude, turn your swag on!

 

Go out and have fun, take lots of photos. Party. Think of the fun you can have without her.

 

I think it's unhealthy/risky to wait until marriage to have sex.

Why?

Unhealthy and risky... Sex may be healthy, but the lack of sex isn't unhealthy.

 

Risky in the sense of your relationship might not last until marriage, so you didn't get to have sex at all even though you spent a lot of time with her? The risky part just sounds selfish. Unless I'm interpretting it wrong. I'd say sex should be the last thing on your mind in a relationship.

Sex is a natural biological function, why restrict it?

Sex is a natural biological function, why restrict it?

That's a very poor argument. Just because something is biologically natural doesn't mean it should be appropriate all the time.

 

For example - I'd say we restrict it quite a bit already. There's all kinds of sex that's frowned upon or even illegal because it's not necessarily appropriate given the circumstances.

How so?

I edited my post.

Well, of course take into account societal norms of today - I personally don't see why we restrict one of our most basic instincts the retain the sanctity of religion and/or beliefs.

Well, of course take into account societal norms of today - I personally don't see why we restrict one of our most basic instincts the retain the sanctity of religion and/or beliefs.

No one's trying to say that sex is bad - but that like everything else it's appropriate in moderation. I think that the benefits of waiting until you're further into a relationship are good; and there are no disadvantages(that I've seen) so restricting it can be beneficial.

It's also perfectly natural for people who aren't ready to have sex to struggle when trying to cope with what sex actually means with all its various complications.

 

But it's perfectly natural to have sex and as such, they should be encouraged even though they're not comfortable with it.

 

WAT

It's also perfectly natural for people who aren't ready to have sex to struggle when trying to cope with what sex actually means with all its various complications.

 

But it's perfectly natural to have sex and as such, they should be encouraged even though they're not comfortable with it.

 

WAT

I don't understand what you're getting at?

I think sex as people have it today isn't really a natural biological function, tbh. With contraceptives (birth control, condoms), it isn't completely natural. Sex, in it's biological nature, has a purpose: to reproduce. Sex's purpose is not simply sexual pleasure. Thus, when you separate sexual pleasure from the core purpose of the act by using a condom or birth control, sex becomes... un-natural? Rather, not fully natural. Not sure if that makes sense.

 

This is why I feel as if waiting for marriage is what should be done, because to most naturally partake in the act of sex (no condoms, no birth control), you must be willing to accept conception. Kids who aren't married are very likely trying to avoid having a child. Those most willing to accept conception are those who are married (in most cases).

 

I'm in no way saying sex is bad. I'm just trying to put in perspective why having sex with contraceptives can't be classified as a natural bodily function in all sense of the word. It only becomes a pure natural bodily function when birth control and other contraceptives are dismissed (which usually occurs after marriage). So it's not like those who are waiting to have sex until after marriage are not partaking in a completely natural bodily function for no reason whatsoever.

 

True, some people do not use contraceptives. They're exceptions. But as far as I know, our culture screams at its youth to use contraceptives... And I don't know of any unmarried couple actually going through the process of Natural Family Planning.

I'm saying that in any relationship the only rule that should ever apply to sex is 'Are both of you ready?' and that if he wants to wait until he's married before having sex then it shouldn't be countered with 'It's perfectly natural'.

 

It's his choice, and there's nothing natural at all about having sex when you're not comfortable with the idea.

Agreed then.

I would just like to state I find it funny when people use societal norm as a measure of what's "right." Especially in terms of sex because it changes so much. Prime historical example: Greek Pederasty.

I gotta be honest I skimmed the hell out of that debate and only saw yap-yap-yap-yap.

 

Sex is fun. Life is only lived once.

 

Go have fun.

You can have fun in a relationship without sex. You know that as well as anyone else.

There's a fallacy with sex being a biological need, because rather it is the requirement of sexual attraction being met. Kissing, hugging, holding, etc. would all fulfill this. It's just that sexual intercourse gives you the biggest bang for your buck.

Never did I think that I would see so many men arguing about sex and pleasure.

 

OT is out of the norm.

There's a fallacy with sex being a biological need, because rather it is the requirement of sexual attraction being met. Kissing, hugging, holding, etc. would all fulfill this. It's just that sexual intercourse gives you the biggest bang for your buck.

Biggest bang =/= climax.

 

Biggest bang = kids!

 

:lol:

There's a fallacy with sex being a biological need, because rather it is the requirement of sexual attraction being met. Kissing, hugging, holding, etc. would all fulfill this. It's just that sexual intercourse gives you the biggest bang for your buck.

Biggest bang =/= climax.

 

Biggest bang = kids!

 

:lol:

 

So, yesterday, my girlfriend dumped me. As much as I tried to contact her, she wouldn't respond. I visited her house and all she did was give me a blank white face and then shut the door, cutting off my connection with her.

 

But then, she got back together with me after 24 hours or so. And I'm so happy.

 

I suspect Cowman_133 might have seduced her for a bit.