I will no longer attempt to progress the relationship and proceed as only friends.

thanks again for the feedback

thanks for the confidence :? lol, she's made it clear that she doesn't want to have sex before marriage.

Then don't waste your time.

You're going to be nothing but a pen pal to her.

 

Yeah don't even maintain anything but an aquitanceship.

 

Not to come across as a sex-or-get-out-of-there-advocate, but I really disapprove of guys just getting [kitty]-whipped by "remaining friends" with girls etc.

I hate how other girls become 10000x more interested in you when you're in a relationship.

It's not necessarily because you're in a relationship, it's because there's other women in your life ;)

Well said, Muggi. I've gotta find a way out of this one before college starts.

@Saq Heres how you should've reacted. Hey __________ I really don't enjoy how I feel around you and I don't want someone like you in my life. Bye. Then move on, clearly you dont enjoy being around this person if your "feuding" so to me its bat shit crazy to keep yourself around her until she apologizes to you. Grow the [bleep] up, and stop talking to her. Dont give her a [bleep]ing explanation unless she asks.

 

 

@constrictor my post was for you and The_Gabe. Espcially in gabe's case where they are going to different colleges, thats a multi year situation (probably longer then the actual relationship was) where they wont see each other. Plus by the end of college you will probably be a very different person. I've seen too many people hold on to a LDR for a year or so before coming to terms with its dead and then being upset that they wasted a year on someone it cant work with logistically when they could've be looking for people they're compatible with for that past year.

 

My advice to you and The_Gabe would be to end it. Say something along the lines of "I still love you but a LDR isn't good for either of us and we should keep in contact and see if we still feel this way when we can actually see each other again". Who knows maybe you will, maybe you wont, maybe you will but one of you landed a job in California and the other in New York and its better that you ended it when you did.

 

[bleep] no. Why would I end a relationship where I get to see her 4-5 months out of a year? My friends done 2 years of something similar and its working well for them. No way in hell I'd listen to such a ridiculous piece of advice I never asked for.

 

@Saq Heres how you should've reacted. Hey __________ I really don't enjoy how I feel around you and I don't want someone like you in my life. Bye. Then move on, clearly you dont enjoy being around this person if your "feuding" so to me its bat shit crazy to keep yourself around her until she apologizes to you. Grow the [bleep] up, and stop talking to her. Dont give her a [bleep]ing explanation unless she asks.

 

 

@constrictor my post was for you and The_Gabe. Espcially in gabe's case where they are going to different colleges, thats a multi year situation (probably longer then the actual relationship was) where they wont see each other. Plus by the end of college you will probably be a very different person. I've seen too many people hold on to a LDR for a year or so before coming to terms with its dead and then being upset that they wasted a year on someone it cant work with logistically when they could've be looking for people they're compatible with for that past year.

 

My advice to you and The_Gabe would be to end it. Say something along the lines of "I still love you but a LDR isn't good for either of us and we should keep in contact and see if we still feel this way when we can actually see each other again". Who knows maybe you will, maybe you wont, maybe you will but one of you landed a job in California and the other in New York and its better that you ended it when you did.

 

[bleep] no. Why would I end a relationship where I get to see her 4-5 months out of a year? My friends done 2 years of something similar and its working well for them. No way in hell I'd listen to such a ridiculous piece of advice I never asked for.

He was just trying to help you. There was no need to spit it back in his face like that.

As Ring said, I hope it works out for you guys.

Haha. Somebody seems insecure...

How is saying "you should break up" when nothing is wrong advice (when I never even asked for any?)? That makes absolutely no sense.

I hate how other girls become 10000x more interested in you when you're in a relationship.

It could have something to do with the particular girl you're in a relationship with. I would stick with the one you're already with for sure. (unless there is some history with the 2nd girl, that's where it could get a bit messy)

How is saying "you should break up" when nothing is wrong advice (when I never even asked for any?)? That makes absolutely no sense.

I agree with you. If the distance is reasonable and time apart is reasonable I'd say try it. You'll be dumb not to; but just ready yourself if you or the other person looses interest.

 

It's not like post-high school life affects everyone the same. The number of relationships I got after HS: 0. I really wish I stayed with my last one a bit longer, but everybody said after high school things are so different, it got to my head.

Personally, I agree with Gabe. If it's not broke, there is no reason to break it.

 

People are so obsessed/scared to get their hearts broken, but this just in, you get the [bleep] over it when it happens, if it even does. So there's really no reason to premeptively have heartbreak by ending a relationship, when really nothing is wrong, just because the possibility of it ending is there.

Especially when both of us can see a future together.

I just think his quick and relatively unnecessary outburst shows he has his share of doubts. Already.

I just think his quick and relatively unnecessary outburst shows he has his share of doubts. Already.

 

Not really. Not at all in fact. I'm honestly not sure how you're reading it as so.

Especially when both of us can see a future together.

Then go for it man. We're only giving our opinions on a limited amount of information. If you both see a future together and are dedicated to each other then I see no problem.

I just think his quick and relatively unnecessary outburst shows he has his share of doubts. Already.

 

Not really. Not at all in fact. I'm honestly not sure how you're reading it as so.

 

That's possible, or he is just equally as protective of how relationships should be viewed and that they should not just be tossed if they are doubted or seen as possibly not being "lucrative."

The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

 

Being a pessimist isn't always the solution.

Just like playing only defensive soccer doesn't score you any goals.

 

I dunno, I just think there is a balance to not put so much trust and investment in a relationship, especially if it's LDR, but on the flip side, relationships need both of those things to last, so that advice can only go so far.

The thing about the typical LDR situation is that it usually happens when people go apart for school, which is at an age when people change. A lot. I am not advocating for ending such relationships preemptively, but you would be foolish not to consider how much maturing you both still have to do. In some ways the relationship itself can end up pushing you to be a different, more mature person, and that person might just grow out of that relationship. These things happen. Not saying it always happens that way; you should absolutely stick with it in case it does work out. Even if it doesn't it's a valuable growing experience.

 

Just don't be so sure this is it. That can be crippling to your personal growth if you've essentially bowed out of an entire area of life experience. And there might come a time when you do grow apart, and it will be that much harder to handle if you've invested so much based on what you thought you knew.

The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

 

Being a pessimist isn't always the solution.

Just like playing only defensive soccer doesn't score you any goals.

 

I dunno, I just think there is a balance to not put so much trust and investment in a relationship, especially if it's LDR, but on the flip side, relationships need both of those things to last, so that advice can only go so far.

 

That's not being pessimistic, that's being realistic.

 

When it comes to LDRs (or any sort of relationship for that matter, but LDRs especially), you must consider the opportunity cost of it.

 

As far as Gabe goes, keep in mind that he's still in the irrationally optimistic Disney stage of the relationship and will probably remain that way for at least the next six months or so :P

The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

 

Being a pessimist isn't always the solution.

Just like playing only defensive soccer doesn't score you any goals.

 

I dunno, I just think there is a balance to not put so much trust and investment in a relationship, especially if it's LDR, but on the flip side, relationships need both of those things to last, so that advice can only go so far.

 

That's not being pessimistic, that's being realistic.

 

When it comes to LDRs (or any sort of relationship for that matter, but LDRs especially), you must consider the opportunity cost of it.

 

No, being prepared for the worst is pessimistic. Hahaha. Taking both directions as they are just taking each step by each step is realistic. Hahaha.

 

And love is economical; I'm sorry but it's not. It's also rarely convenient.

There are so many "better" things you could be doing if you are just gonna compare opportunity costs.

Define better. In terms of overall happiness, relationships - sorry, good, healthy relationships - contribute something that nothing else does.

Please go and define a good healthy relationship for me then.

[bleep] that shit. She is ignored. Forgotten. Lost to me. Never mentioning HER again. Unless she really does something.

 

Anyways, in just a week I am heading towards 2 months of solitude...

And then, UNIVERSITY! In a new town, with new people and everything.

I seriously hope I can find someone for me.

But then again, with me being as crazy as I am, not likely.