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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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Who told you that I even am at contact with her? Our only contact has been going to the same classes and same parties since April. We have the same friends, but I even ignore her when she straight-on talks to me. She has wanted to have contact with me, but not for apologizing. I have ignored all that stuff. If she would apologize, I would listen.

 

As I have said, we used to get along mighty fine. I have even heard from her that I was the best male friend she had. I just want her to apologize. That is my principle.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Yes, I do make sense.

 

And I am a person who holds looong grudges. And I am idiotically stubborn. I have my own creaks. I am not normal.

I am afraid growing up won't help either, some things never change.

 

And Riku, she did more after that. I do not wish to elaborate.

 

So [bleep] this, never should have written here.

It sounds like you already know what you should do but don't want to do it. Stop blabbering on about it and finish it.

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Who told you that I even am at contact with her? Our only contact has been going to the same classes and same parties since April. We have the same friends, but I even ignore her when she straight-on talks to me. She has wanted to have contact with me, but not for apologizing. I have ignored all that stuff. If she would apologize, I would listen.

 

As I have said, we used to get along mighty fine. I have even heard from her that I was the best male friend she had. I just want her to apologize. That is my principle.

 

You said you were cockblocking her. That is what normal people call contact. Interaction.

 

 

 

What if... like... she believes that her actions are justified? Why would someone apologize for a justified action?

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She knows they are not. I heard this from a mutual friend. We have this one mutual friend who we both trust a lot. From him I have heard all that I have heard about her since the feud. She actually confessed that she is really sad and knows that she did everything that was wrong. To our mutual friend, I mean.

 

And cockblocking, as in keeping other people away from her. Does not mean I should have any contact with her directly.

 

And giving up now would be giving up to my principles and getting that girl again anything she wants. She can't have everything, do everything and just get away with it. I am not the only one that thinks she should get a lesson.

 

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Then don't give up? I don't see the issue. If you quit, you lose. If she quits, she loses. If neither of you quits, neither of you loses. What I'm getting at is that neither of you is going to quit because you don't want to lose. Either grow a pair and lose if you want to make an attempt at salvaging your relationship, or you stick with your guns and win destroying any kind of future relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not to beat a dead horse, but when you said you were cockblocking, that is contact. Not verbal or physical contact, but you are influencing her in some way. Unless you were talking about strictly verbal contact.

 

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Saq, you are what you do. "The normal you" is a convenient excuse for not facing the reality that you've done something wrong, but you don't want to acknowledge it because she's in the wrong and you're the victim--or so you would like to think.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Saq, you are what you do. "The normal you" is a convenient excuse for not facing the reality that you've done something wrong, but you don't want to acknowledge it because she's in the wrong and you're the victim--or so you would like to think.

Couldn't have said it better myself

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And cockblocking, as in keeping other people away from her. Does not mean I should have any contact with her directly.

 

Here, (USA) cockblocking literally means blocking someone from, well, for lack of a better term, getting some. So is that what you did? You stopped her from messing around with other guys by not leaving her alone? Or what? I don't quite understand why you're so mad at her.

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Obviously Saq's charming good Estonian looks broke through sexual orientations and attracted everybody in the room to him, leaving nothing for said Evil Lady.

 

Honestly though, I don't see a problem here. She [bleep]s with you, you leave her alone. Don't go expecting an apology because that's making you want her and being a hypocrite. Tell her to it straight or don't let this bother you again.

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"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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I guess I'll give you guys something else to talk about.

 

Basically, I'll be 17 in August and there is this girl I work with who is 18. She will be a freshman in college and I'll be a senior in high school.

She was in a very serious relationship for AT LEAST a year from what I gather. They were engaged at one point but it somehow ended about a month ago.

A couple of weeks ago she returned from vacation, so it was the first time I had seen her in about a week. This would have been 2 weeks after her break-up.

She was really flirty with me when she came back, more so than usual. I was a bit sceptic but she has always been a really nice girl and after a conversation with her that night I thought maybe she was actually into me.

I told a few trustworthy friends what was going on and the all warned me that she had done something similar to this before with another guy I work with about 3 months ago. The only difference was then she hadn't broken up with the 1st guy and was telling the other person I work with that she was going to (she didn't). When I heard this I instantly began to slow things down and proceeded with caution.

We started off texting and snapchatting a lot but now I never talk to her unless it's at work. She claims she likes me but I see her texting her ex all the time (not in a creepy-stalker-jealous way, I just noticed the name on the "recently texted list" when she shows me something).

I tried to recruit some friends at work to do some undercover detective work. 1 of them asked her about her and I and she says, "he never talks to me at work and I don't want to just text him all the time because then it would be awkward in person and would ruin our relationship". I thought about that and she's right, I rarely talk to her at work but honestly I don't really talk to anyone. I work hard and get stuff done, but I'll chat when/if I ever have free time. So at this point I'm thinking things are going well again, we get along great at work and enjoy each others company on break, then something really throws me off. That night I was doing some instagram creeping when I came across her ex's page. About a week ago he posted a TBT(throw back thursday) of the girl I like and the hastags were like #girlfriend #prom #dress, or something of that sort.

I DON'T WANT TO BE SOMEONE'S REBOUND OR THE GUY USED TO MAKE THE OTHER GUY JEALOUS. I know her and her ex are still pretty close friends but I didn't think much of it.

Should I even bother continuing with this girl or should I just forget about the entire thing? I really want to hang out with her outside of work to try and get to know her better and maybe show off a bit of the iBe charm but at this point I feel like it could just be a waste of time.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated. I tried to include as many of the important details I could think of, let me know if you'd like to know something else about the ordeal.

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Whether or not you should bother with it is entirely up to you. If you feel she's worth your time and efforts, then go for it. If you are scared she won't feel the same, then brace yourself for the possibly of being hurt, but don't let it scare you away. Damaged goods are still goods.

 

Important question. The college she is going to, how far away is it?

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Whether or not you should bother with it is entirely up to you. If you feel she's worth your time and efforts, then go for it. If you are scared she won't feel the same, then brace yourself for the possibly of being hurt, but don't let it scare you away. Damaged goods are still goods.

 

Important question. The college she is going to, how far away is it?

 

Only about a 30min drive from where I currently reside

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She knows they are not. I heard this from a mutual friend. We have this one mutual friend who we both trust a lot. From him I have heard all that I have heard about her since the feud. She actually confessed that she is really sad and knows that she did everything that was wrong. To our mutual friend, I mean.

 

And cockblocking, as in keeping other people away from her. Does not mean I should have any contact with her directly.

 

And giving up now would be giving up to my principles and getting that girl again anything she wants. She can't have everything, do everything and just get away with it. I am not the only one that thinks she should get a lesson.

 

Explain what principles you're adhering to. Explain how it would be "getting her anything she wants."

 

Protip: whatever principles of yours cause you to [rooster]block her aren't noble ones. Now, ignoring her, avoiding all contact where possible with her, sure. I can kinda get behind it. But actively antagonizing her?

 

You can't change her actions. You can only change yours.

 

@ iBe: I'd say spend time with her, hang out, as friends. Get to know her more and figure out why she likes you - legitimately, rebound, getting other guy jealous. Who knows. Maybe even ask her eventually.

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Hi, I'm back...

 

Let me start with this -

Saqprets - let it go. Holding grudges is useless, asinine and immature. I love you, but stop blaming her and stop blaming alcohol. You are in control of your own decisions and destiny at all times. If you truly want to end the "feud" than be the bigger man and do so. Stop whining about it.

 

Now then...

I guess I'll give you guys something else to talk about.

 

Basically, I'll be 17 in August and there is this girl I work with who is 18. She will be a freshman in college and I'll be a senior in high school.

She was in a very serious relationship for AT LEAST a year from what I gather. They were engaged at one point but it somehow ended about a month ago.

A couple of weeks ago she returned from vacation, so it was the first time I had seen her in about a week. This would have been 2 weeks after her break-up.

She was really flirty with me when she came back, more so than usual. I was a bit sceptic but she has always been a really nice girl and after a conversation with her that night I thought maybe she was actually into me.

I told a few trustworthy friends what was going on and the all warned me that she had done something similar to this before with another guy I work with about 3 months ago. The only difference was then she hadn't broken up with the 1st guy and was telling the other person I work with that she was going to (she didn't). When I heard this I instantly began to slow things down and proceeded with caution.

We started off texting and snapchatting a lot but now I never talk to her unless it's at work. She claims she likes me but I see her texting her ex all the time (not in a creepy-stalker-jealous way, I just noticed the name on the "recently texted list" when she shows me something).

I tried to recruit some friends at work to do some undercover detective work. 1 of them asked her about her and I and she says, "he never talks to me at work and I don't want to just text him all the time because then it would be awkward in person and would ruin our relationship". I thought about that and she's right, I rarely talk to her at work but honestly I don't really talk to anyone. I work hard and get stuff done, but I'll chat when/if I ever have free time. So at this point I'm thinking things are going well again, we get along great at work and enjoy each others company on break, then something really throws me off. That night I was doing some instagram creeping when I came across her ex's page. About a week ago he posted a TBT(throw back thursday) of the girl I like and the hastags were like #girlfriend #prom #dress, or something of that sort.

I DON'T WANT TO BE SOMEONE'S REBOUND OR THE GUY USED TO MAKE THE OTHER GUY JEALOUS. I know her and her ex are still pretty close friends but I didn't think much of it.

Should I even bother continuing with this girl or should I just forget about the entire thing? I really want to hang out with her outside of work to try and get to know her better and maybe show off a bit of the iBe charm but at this point I feel like it could just be a waste of time.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated. I tried to include as many of the important details I could think of, let me know if you'd like to know something else about the ordeal.

 

Bolded points in order:

1 - Age means nothing.

2 - you're a creep, congratulations. Don't use your friends to snoop. Just ask her questions like a normal [bleep]ing human being

3 - You're basing something off of INSTAGRAM. It's a social site. yeah it can give clues and insights, but don't sweat it. If you sweat it; you're already counting yourself out of the race.

 

My point: You'll likely get hurt by this girl, but it sounds like you have a solid shot for some good times. Take it and don't look back. Don't be insecure. She's all yours. Take it. Feeling jealous will only hurt you. Remember - "Newer is always better". And you're the fresh meat on her plate. Earn your territory.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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Thanks for the reply RPG, I guess you're right about having my friends do that. It probably would have been a lot easier and even helped me "earn territory" if I had just done it myself. I'm trying not to be too worried about the old guy but it feels like he has the home court advantage here. I only met her a few months ago and this interest was only sparked up a couple of weeks ago. I'll continue my pursuit while keeping in mine what you said about me being the fun new guy. Thanks for the help.

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If you're being used to make the other guy jealous, she's still got some attachment to him most likely.

 

If you're in it for anything more than just the sex, I can't think of a worse girl to go for. Same applies if the genders were swapped.

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Tbh reading through half of that wall of text I just thought paranoid stalker falls in love with crazy woman.

 

Age and school - does not matter at all. As long as it's legal.

She was in a serious relationship for ONE year at 18 and got engaged? That is not normal, smells of clingyness and or obession.

Two weeks after the break up and she's being hyper flirty? Rebound or tool for making ex jealous. People don;t move on that fast, not from a year long relationship with an engagment.

Getting friends to spy on her and do 'detective' work? Creepy 8 yr old stalker vibes. It's the modern world, any stalking/intel gathering can be done with a mere browse of their social media. Any more than that is just creepy.

Warning that she's done it before? Erm yeah your being used.

Only texting not talking in person and worried that it may be weird in person? Yeah she just wants the texts etc to let ex see and get jealous.

The tags on the throwback thursday? If you are doing TBT right you REPEAT all the original hashtags. Since she was the girlfriend then it would have that tag.

But the choice of photo - he's still in to her. Prom photos of the otherhalf ex or not are a aww cute couple romantic thing.

 

Long story short I agree with Kimberly.

If you are ok with maybe a bit of fun and nothing more, there's no harm. But do not expect it to be a true romance you are quite clearly a rebound and/or being used to make the ex jealous.

From the info you've posted it sounds very much like her and the ex have a relationship based on extremes and therefore are the sort to get engaged then split and rub the new loves in each others face only to reunite and continue their drama-fest of a relationship.

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Tbh reading through half of that wall of text I just thought paranoid stalker falls in love with crazy woman.

 

Age and school - does not matter at all. As long as it's legal.

She was in a serious relationship for ONE year at 18 and got engaged? That is not normal, smells of clingyness and or obession.

Two weeks after the break up and she's being hyper flirty? Rebound or tool for making ex jealous. People don;t move on that fast, not from a year long relationship with an engagment.

Getting friends to spy on her and do 'detective' work? Creepy 8 yr old stalker vibes. It's the modern world, any stalking/intel gathering can be done with a mere browse of their social media. Any more than that is just creepy.

Warning that she's done it before? Erm yeah your being used.

Only texting not talking in person and worried that it may be weird in person? Yeah she just wants the texts etc to let ex see and get jealous.

The tags on the throwback thursday? If you are doing TBT right you REPEAT all the original hashtags. Since she was the girlfriend then it would have that tag.

But the choice of photo - he's still in to her. Prom photos of the otherhalf ex or not are a aww cute couple romantic thing.

 

Long story short I agree with Kimberly.

If you are ok with maybe a bit of fun and nothing more, there's no harm. But do not expect it to be a true romance you are quite clearly a rebound and/or being used to make the ex jealous.

From the info you've posted it sounds very much like her and the ex have a relationship based on extremes and therefore are the sort to get engaged then split and rub the new loves in each others face only to reunite and continue their drama-fest of a relationship.

I made the "undercover work" sound much creepier than it really was. It was just a close friend of mine asking her what she thought of me.

I will admit I've always been bad about falling too hard for girls or trying to take things too fast, hopefully it's because I'm so young and don't have much experience. (This is what you guys are for :^_^:.

After carefully reading what you have all said I will no longer attempt to progress the relationship and proceed as only friends.

thanks again for the feedback

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Tbh reading through half of that wall of text I just thought paranoid stalker falls in love with crazy woman.

 

Age and school - does not matter at all. As long as it's legal.

She was in a serious relationship for ONE year at 18 and got engaged? That is not normal, smells of clingyness and or obession.

Two weeks after the break up and she's being hyper flirty? Rebound or tool for making ex jealous. People don;t move on that fast, not from a year long relationship with an engagment.

Getting friends to spy on her and do 'detective' work? Creepy 8 yr old stalker vibes. It's the modern world, any stalking/intel gathering can be done with a mere browse of their social media. Any more than that is just creepy.

Warning that she's done it before? Erm yeah your being used.

Only texting not talking in person and worried that it may be weird in person? Yeah she just wants the texts etc to let ex see and get jealous.

The tags on the throwback thursday? If you are doing TBT right you REPEAT all the original hashtags. Since she was the girlfriend then it would have that tag.

But the choice of photo - he's still in to her. Prom photos of the otherhalf ex or not are a aww cute couple romantic thing.

 

Long story short I agree with Kimberly.

If you are ok with maybe a bit of fun and nothing more, there's no harm. But do not expect it to be a true romance you are quite clearly a rebound and/or being used to make the ex jealous.

From the info you've posted it sounds very much like her and the ex have a relationship based on extremes and therefore are the sort to get engaged then split and rub the new loves in each others face only to reunite and continue their drama-fest of a relationship.

I made the "undercover work" sound much creepier than it really was. It was just a close friend of mine asking her what she thought of me.

I will admit I've always been bad about falling too hard for girls or trying to take things too fast, hopefully it's because I'm so young and don't have much experience. (This is what you guys are for :^_^:.

After carefully reading what you have all said I will no longer attempt to progress the relationship and proceed as only friends.

thanks again for the feedback

 

10$ he still falls for her.

 

Just bang it, tbh.

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thanks for the confidence :? lol, she's made it clear that she doesn't want to have sex before marriage.

Then don't waste your time.

You're going to be nothing but a pen pal to her.

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[bleep] that then.

 

You're gonna get used, it's very clear that is what's going to happen. If you're not going to get rewarded for doing such a job, then it's not worth it...at all.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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