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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

 

Being a pessimist isn't always the solution.

Just like playing only defensive soccer doesn't score you any goals.

 

I dunno, I just think there is a balance to not put so much trust and investment in a relationship, especially if it's LDR, but on the flip side, relationships need both of those things to last, so that advice can only go so far.

 

That's not being pessimistic, that's being realistic.

 

When it comes to LDRs (or any sort of relationship for that matter, but LDRs especially), you must consider the opportunity cost of it.

 

As far as Gabe goes, keep in mind that he's still in the irrationally optimistic Disney stage of the relationship and will probably remain that way for at least the next six months or so :P


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The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

 

Being a pessimist isn't always the solution.

Just like playing only defensive soccer doesn't score you any goals.

 

I dunno, I just think there is a balance to not put so much trust and investment in a relationship, especially if it's LDR, but on the flip side, relationships need both of those things to last, so that advice can only go so far.

 

That's not being pessimistic, that's being realistic.

 

When it comes to LDRs (or any sort of relationship for that matter, but LDRs especially), you must consider the opportunity cost of it.

 

No, being prepared for the worst is pessimistic. Hahaha. Taking both directions as they are just taking each step by each step is realistic. Hahaha.

 

And love is economical; I'm sorry but it's not. It's also rarely convenient.

There are so many "better" things you could be doing if you are just gonna compare opportunity costs.

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Define better. In terms of overall happiness, relationships - sorry, good, healthy relationships - contribute something that nothing else does.


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your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Please go and define a good healthy relationship for me then.


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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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[bleep] that shit. She is ignored. Forgotten. Lost to me. Never mentioning HER again. Unless she really does something.

 

Anyways, in just a week I am heading towards 2 months of solitude...

And then, UNIVERSITY! In a new town, with new people and everything.

I seriously hope I can find someone for me.

But then again, with me being as crazy as I am, not likely.


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So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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In other news... some random girl from a bar added me on FB a while back. Her recent status update:

 

Shit I dont like: Girls whose legs spread like butter to any guy who gives them the time of day & yet they wonder why they cant find a guy to stay with them longer than 2wks (if that). And when everyone knows they're a slut but they continually deny it like they have a Virgin identity to protect. Girrrrl everyone knows yous a hoe. why you dont know!? #GetReal

 

Dat irrational slut shaming.

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No, being prepared for the worst is pessimistic. Hahaha. Taking both directions as they are just taking each step by each step is realistic. Hahaha.

 

Alright, well have fun being emotionally devastated when your relationship falls apart because you refused to plan ahead and chose to put all your eggs in one basket.

 

And love is economical; I'm sorry but it's not. It's also rarely convenient.

There are so many "better" things you could be doing if you are just gonna compare opportunity costs.

 

Again, if you're smart about this, you plan things long-term with your happiness in mind. If you choose not to, and instead do what you're advocating, then you'll end up like our friend RpgGamer. :P

 

I'm not saying you plan when to fall in love; that's basically impossible. I'm saying structure your life and set up some god damn standards for yourself so that when you fall in love, you don't start making insane decisions and sacrificing your happiness just for the sake of irrationally protecting a relationship that isn't making you any happier.


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Our dear friend RPG is dating again, mind you.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

 

Being a pessimist isn't always the solution.

It's being realistic.

 

Being pessimist would be to cut off the relationship entirely, because she's going to leave you sometime in the future.

 

Being optimistic would be to start saving money for the wedding, because you two feel something special between you two.

 

All I'm saying it can go either way, good or bad, but be careful for both. I'd advise in being careful for the good things, but people got that covered. It's preparing for the bad things people don't get and think it's being "distrusting" of their partner. It's not.


"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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We're planning for the future taking everything into account. We want to be happy now and in the future. That's all. I've done my time chasing tail so I dont think I'll exactly miss a part of my life...


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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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The better advice, to everybody not just LDR, is to be prepared for the worst.

 

Don't put all your chips on the table. Put all your chips in a table with your hands still on them.

 

Being a pessimist isn't always the solution.

It's being realistic.

 

Being pessimist would be to cut off the relationship entirely, because she's going to leave you sometime in the future.

 

Being optimistic would be to start saving money for the wedding, because you two feel something special between you two.

 

All I'm saying it can go either way, good or bad, but be careful for both. I'd advise in being careful for the good things, but people got that covered. It's preparing for the bad things people don't get and think it's being "distrusting" of their partner. It's not.

 

I understand this. I do. I'm not an idiot. But it doesnt mean two people cant feel the same way.


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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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Props to you, Gabe. I dont know if I'd be able to deal with the months and months of seperation.

 


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We're planning for the future taking everything into account. We want to be happy now and in the future. That's all.

 

I don't think you understand. That ship has sailed. You were supposed to make those decisions when you were rational and unbiased, not when you're lovestruck.

 

I've done my time chasing tail so I dont think I'll exactly miss a part of my life...

 

This suggests that you're afraid of getting back into the dating world, which means you're more likely to do stupid things or tolerate a shitty relationship because you'd rather be comfortably unhappy than be single.


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We're planning for the future taking everything into account. We want to be happy now and in the future. That's all.

 

I don't think you understand. That ship has sailed. You were supposed to make those decisions when you were rational and unbiased, not when you're lovestruck.

 

I've done my time chasing tail so I dont think I'll exactly miss a part of my life...

 

This suggests that you're afraid of getting back into the dating world, which means you're more likely to do stupid things or tolerate a shitty relationship because you'd rather be comfortably unhappy than be single.

 

So far my relationship is incredible. If that changes then I'll go from there. Right now both of us are happy.

 

I've been rational all my life. When I was single I said thatyou shouldnt pick college based on relationship. Im in one and still following that.


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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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Yes, that's because it's brand new. You need to understand that these feelings are temporary and that things will be very different when you consider them long-term.


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Yes, that's because it's brand new. You need to understand that these feelings are temporary and that things will be very different when you consider them long-term.

 

And no way to know without trying right? Why are you so oppose for me to try this? Its been over 4 months and the feelings are getting stronger, not weaker.


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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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A lot of us are saying this because we've been there or we've had buddies who've been there. Who regretted staying in as long as they did and felt like they missed out on meeting someone at their university who is there in the moment and they can hug, kiss, [bleep], etc. nstead of holding onto the memory of someone.

 

 

I guess the lesson that were trying to say is that no matter how good you feel with someone theres a million others who you can have an equally amazing relationship with as well, and that when you plan major life decisions you should keep this in mind. I feel like in your decision you are going to miss out on meaningful relationships with equally awesome girls for a logistically dead one.

 

I just hope to god that you aren't the type that would turn down a job in california if she planned on moving to New York after college.

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I'd been with my high school girlfriend for around three years before the move to university forced us to try a LDR. I wouldn't say the relationship was ever a great one past the first year or so, but I guess we stayed together so long from fear of being alone, as often people do.

Either way, six months into the LDR we split up. Saw each other every second week or so and we are only an hour or two away from each other, but it really depends on your personality.

 

Back then I was rather irrational and prone to jealousy and jumped to lots of conclusions, ultimately ending the relationship. I'd always thought I'd spend the rest of my life with her, but university changed both our personalities surprisingly quickly.

 

Fast forward three years to the present and I'm currently in an LDR with a girl I met around six months after that ended and its worked just fine for us every step of the way :) it really depends on personality and maturity of the people involved, and looking back I definitely wasn't mature enough to handle it back then.

 

The only thing that worries me about a continual LDR is taking the next step (when the time feels right) since that is certainly more difficult, especially if both people involved are holding down jobs 2-3 hours apart. Moving your life for a person is a massive ask regardless of the strength of relationship.

 

Either way that's perhaps food for thought, or me just rambling. I've never really posted here much or detailed my situation before :P


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A lot of us are saying this because we've been there or we've had buddies who've been there. Who regretted staying in as long as they did and felt like they missed out on meeting someone at their university who is there in the moment and they can hug, kiss, [bleep], etc. nstead of holding onto the memory of someone.

 

 

I guess the lesson that were trying to say is that no matter how good you feel with someone theres a million others who you can have an equally amazing relationship with as well, and that when you plan major life decisions you should keep this in mind. I feel like in your decision you are going to miss out on meaningful relationships with equally awesome girls for a logistically dead one.

 

I just hope to god that you aren't the type that would turn down a job in california if she planned on moving to New York after college.

 

Our future plans are for us to move in together after college. Call it a stretch but meh. I'm going to be in college 7-8 months out the year. That's 4-5 months that I'll be with her. This will happen for 3 and a half years or so. So what? Everyone's experience is different. No one is meant to experience the same thing. People respond differently. I understand some of you have more experience, but I need to find my own. I believe in what I'm doing and I believe the way I'm looking at it is the right way.

 

All I am saying is that I would rather continue down the path I am currently where there is a light at the end of the tunnel than lose her down with no hope in mind. I've been friends with many girls. I usually hang with girls. I have yet to find one as perfect as the one I'm currently dating. I don't want to hit on girls in college. I won't have time for that. I'm going to try to extra curricular, a job, and my studies. It's not settling if I want to keep the one I have here if I truly do love her and can see a happy future with her.


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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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Of course I'm not going to try and change your decision, If you believe staying with her is the best thing for you I really do hope it works out for you guys. In the event it doesnt just keep this in mind.

 

I know it doesnt seem like it but there are more girls as perfect as she is for you, and who like you, that you haven't met yet.

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In other news... some random girl from a bar added me on FB a while back. Her recent status update:

 

Shit I dont like: Girls whose legs spread like butter to any guy who gives them the time of day & yet they wonder why they cant find a guy to stay with them longer than 2wks (if that). And when everyone knows they're a slut but they continually deny it like they have a Virgin identity to protect. Girrrrl everyone knows yous a hoe. why you dont know!? #GetReal

 

Dat irrational slut shaming.

 

Is it entirely irrational to think that someone looking for a serious committed relationship might balk at someone who is clearly not used to long-term monogamy?


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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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In other news... some random girl from a bar added me on FB a while back. Her recent status update:

 

Shit I dont like: Girls whose legs spread like butter to any guy who gives them the time of day & yet they wonder why they cant find a guy to stay with them longer than 2wks (if that). And when everyone knows they're a slut but they continually deny it like they have a Virgin identity to protect. Girrrrl everyone knows yous a hoe. why you dont know!? #GetReal

 

Dat irrational slut shaming.

 

Is it entirely irrational to think that someone looking for a serious committed relationship might balk at someone who is clearly not used to long-term monogamy?

 

No, i agree with you there. I was trying to say that there's nothing wrong with being a slut as long as youre responsible about it. I think most people believe that being a slut is always bad and unjustifiable


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No, i agree with you there. I was trying to say that there's nothing wrong with being a slut as long as youre responsible about it. I think most people believe that being a slut is always bad and unjustifiable

 

Yeah, that status definitely had a lot of hate in it. But there was a fundamental good point there; which was that people perceive you based on the way you act; and it's irrational to act one way and suddenly expect people to act as though you're someone else.

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But sluts aren't responsible. That's why they're sluts. Not because they sleep around or have multiple partners, but because they're trashy, irresponsible, etc.


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But sluts aren't responsible. That's why they're sluts. Not because they sleep around or have multiple partners, but because they're trashy, irresponsible, etc.

 

being trashy or irresponsible doesn't make you a slut. it makes you trashy and irresponsible. a "slut" is simply someone who has sex with many people... and there's nothing wrong with that.


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