"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Resistance]

Is it even possible to screw 15 people in one week? That sounds like wayy more trouble than it's worth

It's possibly over the whole year then, although I'm sure it's quite possible in a university city to do it over the first week. People have achieved much greater things in much shorter amounts of time.

[Estonian dude]

RPG, solitude, as in not a single person in the 20-mile radius. Besides my family, but they do not count...

The negative sides of working in the mountains.

[Sentry_Wolf]

<null>

[constrictor]

I would disagree there, Constrictor. University is a life changing experience, and while the primary focus is around education - I would argue that it is important to your development into a mature person.

 

Also, page 777 :)

 

Laying 15 hens doesn't equal mature. Oh dear god, I am so not looking forward to University and all the baboons who are going to be there.

 

 

edit: @Sentry, from all that you have said, it seems you've done everything you really can. I know how entirely unhelpful this comment is, but I'd just give him time and continue to support him. As he gains confidence he'll get there. This happens in every relationship (same sex or not) someone tends to be more "mature" in one area or another and it takes time for both partners to kind of get to the "same level." Some people take years, others take days or months, it really just depends on the person.

[Kaida23]

Sentry, really all you can do is try to be supportive and help him accept who he is. Ultimately though, I think this is going to boil down to how long you're willing to wait and deal with all the sneaking around. Sometimes you just have to do what's best for you.

 

@Resistance, not gonna lie, that's kinda [bleep]ed up. Your choice/life really, but dude, grow up - school is for school, not getting laid by every girl on the hall.

 

Just remember, there's a time and a place for everything...and it's called college. :lol:

[constrictor]

I agree with Kaida's point as well, Sentry.

You seem to really fancy the lad, so honestly, stick with it as long as you think it is worth it, and from what I can see (which this being online board is very little) you think he is.

 

 

At your second point: yes but I dunno. The people whocare/count how many times they get laid are the people who are doing it wrong.

[Sentry_Wolf]

<null>

[Skull]

I did a bad thing. Or an ill advised thing at least.

 

I'm not going to go into the details of it too much, but basically there is a girl who I am friends with. And I slept with her. Multiple times. And while I do like her, there are a lot of reasons why it is very much so not a good idea. I guess I'll briefly go into them because otherwise this won't really make too much sense.

 

Basically, I'm not over my ex, so there's an issue there. Also, the girl I have this thing with broke up with her boyfriend quite recently (a few days after my ex and I broke up a little over a month ago), with whom I am good friends and I'm going to be living with him come the fall. And it's absolutely not cool of me to do what I did and I know that.

 

So the goal is to find a way to pull a 180 on what I've said/done and stay friends with her. The problem is that she seems like she's pretty into the whole thing and we basically came to the conclusion that it would be okay to do, we just have to make sure no one finds out. And I agreed with that, but obviously I've changed my mind or I am at least having second thoughts. Not just because of the shit storm that would come from someone finding out, but also because I don't want to do this to my friend, nor do I want to have to hide the "relationship" from all my friends, because that's just a ton of bullshit.

 

I know this is maybe the opposite of what this thread is usually about, but I need advice on how to get myself out of this situation. Because as it stands, morally I know I am in the wrong and that I need to stop this before it gets more out of hand, but to do that I have to turn down sex from a very attractive girl. And I'm not sure I am a "strong enough" person to do that.

 

So, uh thanks in advance. I'm probably just going to tell her straight up that I can't do it and hope that she doesn't get upset about it. But I kind of needed to share what's going on with someone and I can't go to pretty much any of my friends about this.

[Resistance]

Freshman = first year of college/university

 

I'm not sure about American terms.

[Omar]

 

Laying 15 hens doesn't equal mature. Oh dear god, I am so not looking forward to University and all the baboons who are going to be there.

 

It's his dick; let him live. For all your indignation, you're not any more grown up because you don't want to get laid.

[constrictor]

 

Laying 15 hens doesn't equal mature. Oh dear god, I am so not looking forward to University and all the baboons who are going to be there.

 

It's his dick; let him live. For all your indignation, you're not any more grown up because you don't want to get laid.

 

Read one of my later posts.

 

And I believe I've said he can do anything he want, but the guys who are counting just come across as tryhards is all I'm saying.

[Kaida23]

Freshman = first year of college/university

 

I'm not sure about American terms.

 

It's the same here. It's a pretty universal term.

[muggiwhplar]

http://blackdragonblog.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/5-pieces-of-advice-for-my-daughter/

[RpgGamer]

I did a bad thing. Or an ill advised thing at least.

 

I'm not going to go into the details of it too much, but basically there is a girl who I am friends with. And I slept with her. Multiple times. And while I do like her, there are a lot of reasons why it is very much so not a good idea. I guess I'll briefly go into them because otherwise this won't really make too much sense.

 

Basically, I'm not over my ex, so there's an issue there. Also, the girl I have this thing with broke up with her boyfriend quite recently (a few days after my ex and I broke up a little over a month ago), with whom I am good friends and I'm going to be living with him come the fall. And it's absolutely not cool of me to do what I did and I know that.

 

So the goal is to find a way to pull a 180 on what I've said/done and stay friends with her. The problem is that she seems like she's pretty into the whole thing and we basically came to the conclusion that it would be okay to do, we just have to make sure no one finds out. And I agreed with that, but obviously I've changed my mind or I am at least having second thoughts. Not just because of the shit storm that would come from someone finding out, but also because I don't want to do this to my friend, nor do I want to have to hide the "relationship" from all my friends, because that's just a ton of bullshit.

 

I know this is maybe the opposite of what this thread is usually about, but I need advice on how to get myself out of this situation. Because as it stands, morally I know I am in the wrong and that I need to stop this before it gets more out of hand, but to do that I have to turn down sex from a very attractive girl. And I'm not sure I am a "strong enough" person to do that.

 

So, uh thanks in advance. I'm probably just going to tell her straight up that I can't do it and hope that she doesn't get upset about it. But I kind of needed to share what's going on with someone and I can't go to pretty much any of my friends about this.

 

You May find this task easier by removing the attractive values lf her from your head by noticing things she does that you don't like. Finding another girl may also help to relieve your sexual tension, though before dling anything you may want to guage just how bad thr situation really is with her ex (your friend). You might luxk iut and he mkght be kkay with it. ([bleep] typing on my phone this is painful to read and typeslrry bout that)

[constrictor]

I did a bad thing. Or an ill advised thing at least.

 

I'm not going to go into the details of it too much, but basically there is a girl who I am friends with. And I slept with her. Multiple times. And while I do like her, there are a lot of reasons why it is very much so not a good idea. I guess I'll briefly go into them because otherwise this won't really make too much sense.

 

Basically, I'm not over my ex, so there's an issue there. Also, the girl I have this thing with broke up with her boyfriend quite recently (a few days after my ex and I broke up a little over a month ago), with whom I am good friends and I'm going to be living with him come the fall. And it's absolutely not cool of me to do what I did and I know that.

 

So the goal is to find a way to pull a 180 on what I've said/done and stay friends with her. The problem is that she seems like she's pretty into the whole thing and we basically came to the conclusion that it would be okay to do, we just have to make sure no one finds out. And I agreed with that, but obviously I've changed my mind or I am at least having second thoughts. Not just because of the shit storm that would come from someone finding out, but also because I don't want to do this to my friend, nor do I want to have to hide the "relationship" from all my friends, because that's just a ton of bullshit.

 

I know this is maybe the opposite of what this thread is usually about, but I need advice on how to get myself out of this situation. Because as it stands, morally I know I am in the wrong and that I need to stop this before it gets more out of hand, but to do that I have to turn down sex from a very attractive girl. And I'm not sure I am a "strong enough" person to do that.

 

So, uh thanks in advance. I'm probably just going to tell her straight up that I can't do it and hope that she doesn't get upset about it. But I kind of needed to share what's going on with someone and I can't go to pretty much any of my friends about this.

 

You May find this task easier by removing the attractive values lf her from your head by noticing things she does that you don't like. Finding another girl may also help to relieve your sexual tension, though before dling anything you may want to guage just how bad thr situation really is with her ex (your friend). You might luxk iut and he mkght be kkay with it. ([bleep] typing on my phone this is painful to read and typeslrry bout that)

 

Autocorrect pls

[Skull]

I did a bad thing. Or an ill advised thing at least.

 

I'm not going to go into the details of it too much, but basically there is a girl who I am friends with. And I slept with her. Multiple times. And while I do like her, there are a lot of reasons why it is very much so not a good idea. I guess I'll briefly go into them because otherwise this won't really make too much sense.

 

Basically, I'm not over my ex, so there's an issue there. Also, the girl I have this thing with broke up with her boyfriend quite recently (a few days after my ex and I broke up a little over a month ago), with whom I am good friends and I'm going to be living with him come the fall. And it's absolutely not cool of me to do what I did and I know that.

 

So the goal is to find a way to pull a 180 on what I've said/done and stay friends with her. The problem is that she seems like she's pretty into the whole thing and we basically came to the conclusion that it would be okay to do, we just have to make sure no one finds out. And I agreed with that, but obviously I've changed my mind or I am at least having second thoughts. Not just because of the shit storm that would come from someone finding out, but also because I don't want to do this to my friend, nor do I want to have to hide the "relationship" from all my friends, because that's just a ton of bullshit.

 

I know this is maybe the opposite of what this thread is usually about, but I need advice on how to get myself out of this situation. Because as it stands, morally I know I am in the wrong and that I need to stop this before it gets more out of hand, but to do that I have to turn down sex from a very attractive girl. And I'm not sure I am a "strong enough" person to do that.

 

So, uh thanks in advance. I'm probably just going to tell her straight up that I can't do it and hope that she doesn't get upset about it. But I kind of needed to share what's going on with someone and I can't go to pretty much any of my friends about this.

 

You May find this task easier by removing the attractive values lf her from your head by noticing things she does that you don't like. Finding another girl may also help to relieve your sexual tension, though before dling anything you may want to guage just how bad thr situation really is with her ex (your friend). You might luxk iut and he mkght be kkay with it. ([bleep] typing on my phone this is painful to read and typeslrry bout that)

I guess the problem with that approach that I didn't specify is that I'm very close friends with her as well, or I was prior to this making us more than just friends I guess. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'd rather not try to make myself not like her to hopefully maintain the level of friendship that we had.

 

Another girl really isn't necessary, the problem isn't that I really want sex (as enjoyable as it may be), it's just that when it is offered it's hard to say no, if you know what I mean. I wasn't actively looking for anything in all honesty, maybe even the opposite. This just kind of happened somehow. I'm more than willing to be sex-less for the time being haha. Plus it would probably cause some problems with her if I cut things off and then went for another girl.

 

As for my friend being okay with it, it's too soon. Even if he said he was, I doubt it would really be true. I know him well enough to know that at this point, no matter what he says he would be upset about it. And I totally don't blame him, I know exactly what it's like to have that happen. Even if he really and truly was okay with it, I still am not sure it's a good idea. I wouldn't cut things off completely, but I would try to make sure it didn't get anymore serious than it already is.

 

However, I haven't done anything to make the situation better since posting that. Probably only worse.

[RpgGamer]

Sounds like your gonna have to masturbate and then talk to the girl and give her sonething along the lines of "we should stop boning cause I care about your ex". I say masturbate first because itll lower the likelyhood of you falling for her feminine wiles

[Tim]

Basically if it's going to compromise your friendship, don't. I've never experienced the whole "random sex after a break up" thing (mostly because no one WOULD sleep with me since I live in the middle of no-where, but lets not gravedig that topic), but the friends that have done-so, usually it ends up a mess. One person falls for the other, or it messes up friendship with her ex/your friend, or in the worst case a shitstorm brews between you and her over something.

 

You'll just have to toughen up. You said yourself it's not like your starving for sex so it should be too difficult. Heck, I AM starving for it (since it's been 4 months) but if I can cope im sure you can cope just as easily.

As for the "cant really say no". you can, it's called self control and saying "sorry, im just not up for it at the moment" and slowly cut back the sexual lingo/convos you have.

 

 

....I must be the worst person when it comes to giving advice, since I'm the polar-opposite to everyone's situation. :\

[Skull]

I guess one of the problems I didn't really articulate well was that she actually likes me or something. So it's not just sex, if it was I'd be out of it really easily and it probably never would have happened.

 

Basically we both got drunk at a party and ended up staying up the whole night lying in a field and just talking about shit. Then like two days later she got drunk and we were texting and she told me she was really into me and I told her that I liked her too. And then she came over on Monday and stayed until Wednesday morning since I had the house to myself.

 

You guys have pretty solid advice I think, but it's a little more than just physical stuff which makes it a much more delicate situation. Her feelings mean just as much to me as my friend/her ex's do. But this needs to be done. I kind of want to do it in person though because that just feels like the right way to do it, which opens me up to the "feminine wiles", as well as meaning I have to wait until next time I get to see her since she lives an hour and a half away.

[battlerifel]

Alright, I'm really not sure what to do in my situation right now. Maybe you guys can help me out a little bit?

 

I was basically added to a whole entire new friend group through two close friends for school during the summer. I don't usually like meeting new people just because I'm weird and very awkward. I guess it has worked out so far, because I hang out with most of the group and we all seem to get along fairly well.

 

There is this one girl who I think I like out of this friend group. The biggest problem for me is, I'm really not sure where I stand with her. I know there isn't an easy way to tell or go off of signs or anything like that. She is really touchy and flirty. With everybody. It kinda bugs me when she does this to other guys when I'm around, which is why I'm thinking I like her. Or maybe I just like when her attention is on me, but honestly, who doesn't like getting some attention? I just don't understand, when it's just me and her and a few other people and she is very touchy with me and flirty, and then an hour later she is doing the same thing with another guy. (This guy has a girlfriend and I feel like honestly he is being a terrible boyfriend, but that's a different story). Then again, she is touchy with me at random times. I'm really not sure....

 

I want to confront her, not about flirting with a bunch of people or anything like that, but about where we stand. As friends? as something more? I have no idea. If you haven't been able to tell yet, I'm really not good with reading into situations or responding how most people would respond. I feel like she has dropped hints and things, but I don't know if she does this to everybody or not, or if she even dropped any hints. I'm not sure how I would go about asking her this. Should I just say, "Hey, we need to talk?" or something else? If you guys could help me with that, I'd be very much appreciative. If you think you need to know anything else, just ask and I'll see what I can do to help you help me :)

[nine naked men]

explain yr feelings in interpretive twerking

[Barbecue Sandwich]

Alright, I'm really not sure what to do in my situation right now. Maybe you guys can help me out a little bit?

 

I was basically added to a whole entire new friend group through two close friends for school during the summer. I don't usually like meeting new people just because I'm weird and very awkward. I guess it has worked out so far, because I hang out with most of the group and we all seem to get along fairly well.

 

There is this one girl who I think I like out of this friend group. The biggest problem for me is, I'm really not sure where I stand with her. I know there isn't an easy way to tell or go off of signs or anything like that. She is really touchy and flirty. With everybody. It kinda bugs me when she does this to other guys when I'm around, which is why I'm thinking I like her. Or maybe I just like when her attention is on me, but honestly, who doesn't like getting some attention? I just don't understand, when it's just me and her and a few other people and she is very touchy with me and flirty, and then an hour later she is doing the same thing with another guy. (This guy has a girlfriend and I feel like honestly he is being a terrible boyfriend, but that's a different story). Then again, she is touchy with me at random times. I'm really not sure....

 

I want to confront her, not about flirting with a bunch of people or anything like that, but about where we stand. As friends? as something more? I have no idea. If you haven't been able to tell yet, I'm really not good with reading into situations or responding how most people would respond. I feel like she has dropped hints and things, but I don't know if she does this to everybody or not, or if she even dropped any hints. I'm not sure how I would go about asking her this. Should I just say, "Hey, we need to talk?" or something else? If you guys could help me with that, I'd be very much appreciative. If you think you need to know anything else, just ask and I'll see what I can do to help you help me :)

 

 

Umm I think you could just tell her how you feel... Kinda simple :P Don't overcomplicate things

[Sir_Squab]

I wonder if there's any evolutionary explanation for why telling someone how you feel is the most terrifying thing ever and you will die of shame and embarrassment

[obfuscator]

I wonder if there's any evolutionary explanation for why telling someone how you feel is the most terrifying thing ever and you will die of shame and embarrassment

 

It doesn't have to be

[Sir_Squab]

I wonder if there's any evolutionary explanation for why telling someone how you feel is the most terrifying thing ever and you will die of shame and embarrassment

 

It doesn't have to be

 

No. But why is it such a prevalent and common mindset to see? That's what I want to know.