At this point just cut it entirely off with her. She's using you, not purposefully (or atleast it's unlikely), but sill using you. And that is neither healthy for you or her. If she's not having these long/deep discussions with her boyfriend then they're not discussing things well (possibly not at all), and by being her emotional cruch in that way just keeps her from sharing such things with er boyfriend and that will ultimately drestroy their relationship. So if you love her and want her to stay in the relationship, get out of it.

 

I've been there before and being out of it is worlds better; you'll thank us all in two months when you realize what a terrible idea it was to be used in that way.

Well no, it's actually the best possible scenario for her relationship right now. She and her boyfriend get to bang and have fun without any drama on either side, and any of her drama gets diverted to Ginger instead of the boyfriend :P She's got both a lover and a provider in her life, I'd say she's probably pretty damn happy.

Thanks for the advice, I wasn't really looking for it, more wanting to document thoughts and feelings in a safe space. I don't mean to be offensive if people don't think I listen to it, I honestly do take it into consideration.

 

I know the situation is essentially "You're both fulfilling each others' emotional needs right now and you clearly love spending time with other, which would be absolutely fantastic news if you were together! Too bad she's got a boyfriend, and that's not stopped her from leaning on you because her real boyfriend can't handle that part of a relationship. Although that clearly doesn't stop him from 'satisfying' her and taking her to nice restaurants though!" (At least I've got a sense of humour about the whole thing :P)

 

You're all right, it's a shit place to be and I'm too nice a person to say "He's your boyfriend, let him deal with it".

Oh man, poor guy is all i have to say. Still if you cant cut it off why are you too afraid to admit your feelings?

 

I don't deal well with expressing my feelings generally (it's taken me over thirty minutes to write this post so far!). I tend to do this repression thing where I just pretend to feel the way I think I should feel. My carpet is swelling with the amount of stuff I sweep under it! So I convince myself I'm not bothered about the situation, because I shouldn't be, because if I was bothered reeeally, that would actually be quite dangerous.

 

I guess, on past experience, I'm very wary of allowing my feelings to control my actions too much. But in this case, I just can't see any productive good coming from it anyway. I wouldn't have a clue where to begin with such a conversation.

 

I'm pretty sure she has no idea, though. My poker face is frustratingly good, although it's won me a few £ over the years.

You're already letting your feelings control your actions. You can keep doing it, but it's not going to get easier...it's going to get harder.

 

How you have the conversation doesn't really matter...the important thing is that you have it. Or else get used to being used, which is essentially what's happening

I don't deal well with expressing my feelings generally (it's taken me over thirty minutes to write this post so far!). I tend to do this repression thing where I just pretend to feel the way I think I should feel. My carpet is swelling with the amount of stuff I sweep under it! So I convince myself I'm not bothered about the situation, because I shouldn't be, because if I was bothered reeeally, that would actually be quite dangerous.

 

Recommended reading: http://www.amazon.com/The-Revolutionary-Trauma-Release-Process/dp/1897238401

 

Could be a placebo/self-fulfilling prophecy, but it works extremely well for me. Highly recommended to everyone. :thumbup:

I used to be horribly repressed emotionally. I still find my self suppressing feelings sometimes, but its a lot like constipation. If you don't get it out of you, you'll have organ failure.

I used to be horribly repressed emotionally. I still find my self suppressing feelings sometimes, but its a lot like constipation. If you don't get it out of you, you'll have organ failure.

Probably the most accurate way of putting it.

Oh wow, I wonder how I am not dead then.

 

I took contact with my 15-year old half-sister. Who had no idea that I existed. And I told I was her brother. She was in a bit of a shock, to say the least.

Now the only contact has been through facebook. And I haven't even added her as a friend yet. I am wondering, how should I continue. Should I just silently disappear and not make another contact by myself or was it wrong of me to even take contact like that? Should I try to get in touch more and meet up in real life?

Thing is, we have completely separate lives as they are right now. And the only way that I know she is my sister is through the national people register whatever thingy. That register said she was my half-sister, otherwise I wouldn't have known she existed either.

.

^Congratz.

snip

Booo. Boo maddy boo. forgot ME. :<

Cheers and happy new years

Last night was the first time in 8 month i actually thought about cheating on my girlfriend. We went out to this NYE party and she was busy most of the night talking to her friends and stuff, so i walked around and mingled with some random people. So i met this 33 year old girl. Really...just beautiful. We started talking and the conversation went on for quite some time actually. She knew i had a girlfriend, cause i introduced the two of them, but she didn't seem to care too much. She's working on our Airport project, as one of the engineers. So she has quite a bit on contacts at the Airline, and offered to help me out get in touch with some people regarding a job. Asked for my number, etc. But she was also very friendly with me. Not in the "i want to help you become a pilot" way, but more in the "i was to take you to my bedroom" way. The reason i say this is because of her body language and the fact that she was very touchy. It was pretty awkward, but also pretty cool that someone older than me was actually hitting on me and seemed pretty interested :D

I feel bad, but at the same time i really don't.

I hooked up with my friend while her boyfriend watched. I feel bad, but at the same time I really don't.

 

[Hide] to clarify, they're in an open relationship [/hide]

^ ever seen Semi Pro?

I haven't, no

I "have to" send a super awkward text. I'm not looking forward to this haha. I've been putting it off but I think I should probably just do it.

I "have to" send a super awkward text. I'm not looking forward to this haha. I've been putting it off but I think I should probably just do it.

SPILL!

Nothing too exciting, just a "Sorry I was too drunk" text. Some New Years "festivities" were interrupted by the fact that I had to go puke. I'm just not sure how to word the message haha.

 

Edit: I think it's going to have to wait until tomorrow though, since it's almost one in the morning and that's probably a bit too late to text her.

I don't think waiting is helping your case hahaha

Probably not, but I'm not sure I want to send that text at almost 4 in the morning. I'm not sure how to approach the subject in general.  I don't know if I should just send an apology text or if I should have some lead in conversation. I might just pretend it didn't happen. I mean its not like I vomited on her or anything, I almost made it all the way to my bathroom hahaha

 

Besides, I got the shit end of the deal anyways. I was the one who puked and passed out on a tile floor while she got to sleep in my bed.

"Sorry I went too hard the other night. At least you got the bed to yourself out of the deal :p "

 

Nothing more, nothing less.

Ohhh, you like this girl.

 

I was trying to work out the connection to relationships. :P

Ohhh, you like this girl.

 

I was trying to work out the connection to relationships. :P

I wouldn't go as far as to say that haha. But that's the general idea I guess. I'd say she's definitely the more interested party though.

 

Anyways, I texted her so we'll see how that goes.

 

Edit: She was like "don't worry about it, happens to everyone." Which is pretty much exactly what I expected.

I do not know who me real mates are. Are they the jockeys or the nerds. I still don't know which group I belong to.

 

I do not know all of me family. I know I have at least 2 halfbrothers. Then I heard i had at least one more, who died in a car accident. Then I heard I have a 15-year old sister. Who I contacted and made sure actually was me half-sister. And from her I heard that I have at least one more sister. About my age. Who is not shown on official records as my sister. Which is pretty [bleep]ed. And means that I can have plenty more unknown half-sisters and half-brothers.

Above all that, I need to demand monetary support from my biological father. Who i have seen like twice in my life and I don't know what he looks like.

 

I do not know who I am. Had a brief period of confidence in myself. And now it is all gone. With the girl I liked.

 

How [bleep]ed am I?

Not all that [bleep]ed really. Having new found siblings is cool, nothing more. You've added to your life, not subtracted. And obviously you've got lady killer in your blood if your dad had kids you've never heard of. And don't define your friends into "jocks" and "nerds". Friends are people not labels. Most "jocks" can get pretty nerdy over fantasy football, just the way "nerds" Will stomp your ass in their game realm. People are people, don't define them in such generic terms.