"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Drazhor]

@Ginger; I'd go for the "get other women in your life" choice if I were you, because it seems like things could go south otherwise if you let out an accidental "I like really really like you"
 

And I've finally come to the realisation that the "Be Yourself" advice that everybody gives to each other is actually pretty damn good. Just be yourself and something will come along; of course not eventually because that'd be too easy but something will

[RpgGamer]

 

I wouldn't have said I'm attracted to all of my female friends, for what it's worth. A few of the people I call friends are post-menopausal and twice my age, although we don't necessarily hang out with each other obviously.

 

Moving away from physical attraction, some of them have qualities I like about them as friends, but also problems that I'd find difficult to overlook as partners.

 

 

Thats why I stated, would reject sex as category numer one and would reject relationship as category number two if either category fails the test then you shouldn't be close friends with that girl. 

 

So you can wanna bang the hell out some girl but wanting to date her is unthinkable, that is very simple to understand. All I'm saying is be upfront with anything you'd want from someone and chances are you will either get it or end relationships where you will never get what you want. So if you wanna bang the hell out of her but remain just friends, maybe that can lead to a FwB scenario, or maybe you would reject her if that scenario was to come up and its good that your just friends to begin with. All this post here is to make sure your upfront with your intentions and desires even if it does seem a bit socially unnaceptable at first.

 

also this goes without saying but don't do this with roommates or co-workers

I think skull has a story that pertains to this subject

[Ginger_Warrior]

I think you mean this?

[RpgGamer]

Why do I not know how to do what you just did

[Tesset]

Why do I not know how to do what you just did

Next to the search bar at the top of the page, there's an advanced search button. Click that, type Skull into find author, type girlfriend into what to search for, click off topic in find in forum, click display results as posts. Go to page 4.

 

Except I think she searched just the Today thread, which I'm not sure how to do. I suppose, since it's the biggest topic in OT, you could use topics with at least 20,000 posts and 100,000 views form, but that's a little hackish and wouldn't work to search other threads, so I'm not sure of a good way to do it.

 

Edit: Oh, she didn't. That page was just all Today thread posts. Okay.

[obfuscator]

I think there's another way to search just a specific thread, don't remember how though

[Ginger_Warrior]

Who's "she"? ;)

[Tesset]

I think there's another way to search just a specific thread, don't remember how though

You can't advanced search a specific thread to find just one author. You can search a general keyword through the search bar when it says "This topic," but good luck finding a specific post containing the word "girlfriend" in this thread through the search bar.

[Skull]

My experience falls into a somewhat different category, I never had very strong feelings for the friend that I hooked up with. I certainly considered her to be a good friend and everything but I wouldn't say I felt anything like romantic love for her.  Having feelings for a friend is entirely different from having sex with a friend because you are sad and lonely.

 

That is what we're talking about, right? Ginger having feelings for his friend? I don't follow this topic all that closely so I'm not positive. I'll offer advice if I'm relevant though.

 

 

Also, [bleep] 17-18 year old me, I was so obnoxious.  Searching my posts for the word girlfriend brings out the worst stuff haha.

[Ginger_Warrior]

You're pretty much in the zone there. The key word you use which interested me was 'romance', as in a type of love for another person which is emotionally intimate rather than sexually intense. We're definitely not talking about the latter.

 

The former is very similar to a close friendship, which is what we've been for ages until now. But there's a few points where the two differ. Until now it's been fairly easy convincing myself that we are just close friends but... there are times where reactions and the blatantly obvious betray that facade.

[RpgGamer]

Sometimes you gotta be selfish to be happy

[Skull]

I'd say that's an argument of long term vs. short term. It's all about a healthy mix of selfishness and selflessness, in my opinion.  The selfish option can be great in the short term for sure and [bleep] you over later.  I can definitely speak from personal experience on this, as someone who tried to be selfish and lost because of it. 

 

Everything in moderation.

[obfuscator]

Like murder, murder in moderation

[Skull]

Especially murder.

[muggiwhplar]

Everything you do is selfish if you ask yourself why you're doing it enough times.

 

Selfishness and selflessness are not mutually exclusive either.

[MuffinMaddy]

.

[Estonian dude]

A girl invited me to a bar for a drink tonight.

Don't have any idea what to expect.

[The_Gabe]

A girl invited me to a bar for a drink tonight.

Don't have any idea what to expect.

 

I only applied in the end of June, we couldn't apply earlier...

 

But at least for the IB students from my school, they also applied like in February or even December and the schools only got the final exam results in the August.

 

And sorry if I post too much, but I am still a total Duracell bunny from those [bleep]ing Red Bulls. I wonder what will be left of my heart and liver by the day after tomorrow. At least I am not planning on drinking anything for a while now.

Is a day a while now?

 

[Estonian dude]

2 days.

And I already got a drink yesterday aswell.

Drinking normally means going out to get drunk. For me, at least.

And in that sense I don't plan to drink in a while.

[Estonian dude]

AAAAND I drinked a bit more than one drink.

 

 

BUT. I managed to be alone with a girl. For 5 straight hours. For not being bored for one second. For not being too nervous. Managed to keep my cool. And managed to drink whole lots more than she did and still was a lot more sober. And sent her home. Wished good night. Got told I was one of the very, very few normal (for her) people that she has ever seen. Think she was as inexperienced in this thing as I am.

 

Gonna meet her again.

 

Success?

[RpgGamer]

saw devil wears prada with a girl tonight. concert was alright. date kinda sucked though. 0 chemistry. ah well

[constrictor]

saw devil wears prada with a girl tonight. concert was alright. date kinda sucked though. 0 chemistry. ah well

 

They've gotten so much better as a band from their previous years.

[Kalphite]

I've been interested in a new girl recently, named Breanna. She's in a community service organization with me, and we're both pretty involved in it so I see her at least once a week. While we've both been in the club all year, I've only started talking to her these past few weeks. The Thursday before last there was a billiards social after a meeting and we played a game of pool there and talked for a while for the first time. I then ran into her again the next monday, as we were both leading service events that were meeting in the same area, so we talked a bit more there until we had to leave to go to the events. On Wednesday a couple of us from the organization all met up to get crepes and I wound up sitting next to her there so we talked a good deal of time there too.

 

I've only talked to her a couple times but it's been pretty cool, she's pretty easy to talk to and joke around with. I'm just not used to trying to date girls outside of the circle of friends I'm already in - I feel like it'd be weird to invite her along to some party or something else my friends are doing when she doesn't know any of them. Also I won't really have the chance to see her again until after winter break is over; she's going home tomorrow after her last exam. Any advice on how to progress things from here?

[RpgGamer]

id say patience. youll see.her.after winter break. no need to rush it

[battlerifel]

Ok, so this girl has been texting me for about a week or so now, and I do not know her very well. She used to live where I do and now goes to college elsewhere, but she texts me and says that she wishes I were with her to sleep with her. And that she wants to visit my apartment when she is back in town for the obvious reasons.  Obviously I feel like I should just stop texting her. She seems crazy. But I don't want to just stop texting her because I would feel bad. I've done that to people before and it always made me feel like a terrible person for just cutting off all contact with them. I just don't know what to say to her since I don't know her very well at all. idk.

 

Any advice?