"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Leik]

So, I was at this party the other night, and talked to several girls, etc. But I really hit it off with this one girl, but she and her friends left early. Anyway, when I got home I was still a bit drunk-ish and added her and several other people I met on FB, and most of them accepted (yey).

 

As I'm quite interested in that particular girl, I am wondering what I should do, or if I should even do anything in the first place. I don't really know her at all, only just met her at that party, and she's a friend of a friend.

 

I basically have zero experience in the whole dating thing, so any advice is helpful. :<

[Ishamael]

So, I was at this party the other night, and talked to several girls, etc. But I really hit it off with this one girl, but she and her friends left early. Anyway, when I got home I was still a bit drunk-ish and added her and several other people I met on FB, and most of them accepted (yey).

 

As I'm quite interested in that particular girl, I am wondering what I should do, or if I should even do anything in the first place. I don't really know her at all, only just met her at that party, and she's a friend of a friend.

 

I basically have zero experience in the whole dating thing, so any advice is helpful. :<

 

If you're interested in that particular girl, you should totally take action. I don't know if you see her at all at school/work because you didn't make that clear. If you do, you should just talk to her. If you don't know how to spark the conversation, just bring up stuff that you talked about that night or just try to get to know her more by asking her various questions. In my experience, women love to talk about themselves so just work with that.

 

If you don't see her in person, chat with her on Facebook the next time you see she's online. Try to not ask too many questions online because you'll use up any conversation starters for when you actually meet up again in person. Try and see if she would be interested in hanging out some time. I'm not saying to go on Facebook and write something like "Hey, wanna hang out some time?". Just chat a little and ask her when you think the time is right. I normally just chat once or twice during a 7 day period and then on the third day I'll ask her out but it really varies on how much you've known her before and how interested she looks. Don't take too long though because someone could come around and snatch her from ya :P.

[Omar]

a) Keep the facebook conversation relatively short and sweet. Kill it before it dies.

b) Have something in mind when you ask her if she wants to hang. Say that you're going to do X, and that she's welcome to tag along if she so desires.

[Leik]

The thing is, forgot to make that clear I suppose, I don't know her, like at all. Except for that one party, lol.

 

With that in mind, would it make any sense for me to talk to her? That's what I'm worried about.

[The_Gabe]

The thing is, forgot to make that clear I suppose, I don't know her, like at all. Except for that one party, lol.

 

With that in mind, would it make any sense for me to talk to her? That's what I'm worried about.

 

I only knew two things after my gf before I approached her on Facebook. Just be friendly.

[Omar]

The thing is, forgot to make that clear I suppose, I don't know her, like at all. Except for that one party, lol.

 

With that in mind, would it make any sense for me to talk to her? That's what I'm worried about.

Yes. It's fine, especially if you had a good time, and you can start from a joke from the party.

[Randox]

The thing is, forgot to make that clear I suppose, I don't know her, like at all. Except for that one party, lol.

 

With that in mind, would it make any sense for me to talk to her? That's what I'm worried about.

Makes sense, as long as you don't let too much time pass. And touching on what Omar said, having a plan is always in your favor, even if your the happy go lucky type. Have an idea or two of what you might do together floating around so that you have something off hand in you need it.

 

If you start hanging out, an extension of planning is to not use the words "talk to you later". Replace later with something like tomorrow or a day of the week, maybe specify a general time of day if you like. Especially early on, people tend to get hung up on when they should call/talk again, or when the other party is going to get in contact, and being a bit more specific sidesteps a lot of that.

[Estonian dude]

Got me an objective. Try to seduce the unseduceable girl.

Actually, thing is not that bad. I am talking about a girl in my class that I have developed a crush in. So deep crush that I had my first ever lucid dream. About her. So good one that the reality ruined my day.

 

But the girl I am talkng about is like the queen of sarcasm. She has brilliant remarks about everything. Also, she is quite pretty.

As in unseduceable I mean that she has never had a boyfriend. At least as far as anyone knows. Her biggest advancement was like two weekends with an university student which didn't go further than a kiss. So she is less experienced in those things that even I am. She once told me how she likes romantic walks and everything but she can't help and starts laughing at it. Laughing at everything.

 

She does have some messy stuff around with her. Her parents divorced while she was young and she has some quite weird quirks. Her parents are even weirder. Apparently her mum has tried to send her to a psychiatrist for she is 18 and has never brought a boyfriend in for dinner. Yet she is not allowed to go out on the weekends... Or she just feels that life is too depressing to go out without a boyfriend. Last month she has told me she is super annoyed that noone has asked her to the prom that comes in April. And we are in the final grade, so the prom is quite important.

Yeah, I just got 19 and never had a girlfriend and I think my mum would even prefer it that way, or at least she has said that she doesn't want me to bring anyone home...

[Randox]

You can never say for certain without knowing someone, and friends make great translators for this sort of thing, but saying something like that is certainly in the realm of possibility of being a full on invitation to invite her to the prom. Sounds like the two of you are at least friendly, so unless I missed something and you have a date, you should probably ask her, and soon.

[Estonian dude]

Well, she is a girl in my class after all. And yes, we get along pretty well. But I am afraid I might be in the friendzone right now, even though I am not getting along with her that well.

 

Oh, and yes, gonna invite her our this week, methinks. Whenever I get a chance to be with her in a bit more private situation.

[Ishamael]

Got me an objective. Try to seduce the unseduceable girl.

Actually, thing is not that bad. I am talking about a girl in my class that I have developed a crush in. So deep crush that I had my first ever lucid dream. About her. So good one that the reality ruined my day.

 

But the girl I am talkng about is like the queen of sarcasm. She has brilliant remarks about everything. Also, she is quite pretty.

As in unseduceable I mean that she has never had a boyfriend. At least as far as anyone knows. Her biggest advancement was like two weekends with an university student which didn't go further than a kiss. So she is less experienced in those things that even I am. She once told me how she likes romantic walks and everything but she can't help and starts laughing at it. Laughing at everything.

 

She does have some messy stuff around with her. Her parents divorced while she was young and she has some quite weird quirks. Her parents are even weirder. Apparently her mum has tried to send her to a psychiatrist for she is 18 and has never brought a boyfriend in for dinner. Yet she is not allowed to go out on the weekends... Or she just feels that life is too depressing to go out without a boyfriend. Last month she has told me she is super annoyed that noone has asked her to the prom that comes in April. And we are in the final grade, so the prom is quite important.

Yeah, I just got 19 and never had a girlfriend and I think my mum would even prefer it that way, or at least she has said that she doesn't want me to bring anyone home...

 

If she mentioned Prom to you it was most likely a hint, depending on how she brought it up. If she still doesn't have a date, ask her!

 

 

 

 

The thing is, forgot to make that clear I suppose, I don't know her, like at all. Except for that one party, lol.

 

With that in mind, would it make any sense for me to talk to her? That's what I'm worried about.

 

If you meet someone at a party that you are interested in or had fun with, you should try to contact them a day or two after the event, while the memory of you is still fresh in her mind. If it's been longer than that, don't worry, it's not too late. But try to get in contact with her ASAP.

 

Personally, what I do, is that I contact them on the same night that I met them. Not always, but I do this often. Ask for their number before they leave and then call them 15-20 minutes after they leave and ask them something silly like "Hey, it's Anthony from the bar. I was wondering what colour shirt I should wear on our first date? I want to make sure I look good.". All the times I've done this, I've gotten at least a first date. It takes a lot of balls to do but it works like a charm because nobody calls anyone anymore. Calling a girl shows them that you are really into them and it shows that you have confidence. Women love confidence ;).

[nine naked men]

I usually contact them by throwing a brick wrapped in a note through their window. Nobody does that anymore, and it really shows confidence. Women love confidence. And bricks.

[Omar]

Got me an objective. Try to seduce the unseduceable girl.

Actually, thing is not that bad. I am talking about a girl in my class that I have developed a crush in. So deep crush that I had my first ever lucid dream. About her. So good one that the reality ruined my day.

 

But the girl I am talkng about is like the queen of sarcasm. She has brilliant remarks about everything. Also, she is quite pretty.

As in unseduceable I mean that she has never had a boyfriend. At least as far as anyone knows. Her biggest advancement was like two weekends with an university student which didn't go further than a kiss. So she is less experienced in those things that even I am. She once told me how she likes romantic walks and everything but she can't help and starts laughing at it. Laughing at everything.

 

She does have some messy stuff around with her. Her parents divorced while she was young and she has some quite weird quirks. Her parents are even weirder. Apparently her mum has tried to send her to a psychiatrist for she is 18 and has never brought a boyfriend in for dinner. Yet she is not allowed to go out on the weekends... Or she just feels that life is too depressing to go out without a boyfriend. Last month she has told me she is super annoyed that noone has asked her to the prom that comes in April. And we are in the final grade, so the prom is quite important.

Yeah, I just got 19 and never had a girlfriend and I think my mum would even prefer it that way, or at least she has said that she doesn't want me to bring anyone home...

 

If she mentioned Prom to you it was most likely a hint, depending on how she brought it up. If she still doesn't have a date, ask her!

 

Saq when he realizes this:

[RpgGamer]

The thing is, forgot to make that clear I suppose, I don't know her, like at all. Except for that one party, lol.

 

With that in mind, would it make any sense for me to talk to her? That's what I'm worried about.

 

I only knew two things after my gf before I approached her on Facebook. Just be friendly.

 

Be very friendly! :D

Which, when typing on facebook, means using more emoticons than you probably normally would ;)

Because who needs punctuation when you can have smiley faces? :D :D :D

 

in all seriousness, my first girlfriend (ended up proposing to her, and other such nonsense that most of you know by now) and I met in the exact situation. I was real close friend's with her bestfriend's boyfriend, we met at his friend's birthday party (who also happened to be a good friend of mine). I knew next to nothing about her, in fact she's the one that approached me. I didn't have a cell phone back then, but we followed eachother on deviantart that night, and didn't talk at all til the next morning where we talked all day basically ending with her saying "me and X&Y are going to the park tomorrow, you should join us for a double date", So basicaly, the roles were switched, but it all worked out well enough.

 

tl;dr: TALK TO HER AND MAKE FUN PLANS ASAP

[Ginger_Warrior]

Invite her over to play RuneScape. You could duo K'ril together.

 

[bleep]es love RuneScape.

[RpgGamer]

No joke I asked a girl to play runescape with me as a date when dungeoneering came out so we could dungeon crawl together. She was super into it.

 

And also not into dudes as I later found out.

[constrictor]

No joke I asked a girl to play runescape with me as a date when dungeoneering came out so we could dungeon crawl together. She was super into it.

 

And also not into dudes as I later found out.

 

Did you Quick Chat ask her out?

[RpgGamer]

Nah I knew her in person, but only hung out with her once. I texted her about it cause we were losers like that. Real cute girl though.

[RpgGamer]

Forgive the double post, but I had a weird experience last night. I had a girl literally begging me to sleep with her, and I just couldn't physically do it. She's not unattractive, I kinda feel like there's something wrong with me almost. I haven't had sex in a fairly long time, and I'd been drinking all night, I was hungry, I could barely stand, there was no condom, and I can come up with more and more excuses but at the end of the day I still feel like there was a weird emotional block that just didn't want me to sleep with her. I fear this will happen again with other girls, and probably the same girl in the future. I've never had a problem of "manning up for the task" so to speak before, so I guess you could say I'm concerned.

 

is this abnormal or weird to anyone or am I just being a nancy?

[obfuscator]

You're making a big deal about nothing. If you didn't want to have sex with her (for whatever reason) then you shouldn't have to have sex with her.

[Ishamael]

If she would approach you when you're sober and asked you to sleep with her, would you?

[RpgGamer]

I'm super picky with the women I hook up with, for me to try to have sexual relations is like the highest honor I could bestow upon a person. It's like an exclusive club when it comes to that. Simple answer? I might, but really on the fence about it. I am likely making a big deal over nothing.

 

However she texted me when I woke up again this afternoon saying she wants a relationship, and most of me does not want that, and part of me thinks it would work out better with her than most of the other girls I've encountered since my singularity. I hate missing opportunities, so this might be a good one for a good relationship. Or it might be a terrible idea that mucks up a good friendship and prevents me from finding someone I hardcore want to be with. Oh, the conundrum. I hate when girls pressure me for relationships, I get all antsy and overthink everything. Stupid labels.

[muggiwhplar]

for the nth time: http://blackdragonblog.wordpress.com/2011/09/27/dont-screen-women-instead-categorize/

[Ginger_Warrior]

She was begging you to sleep with her last night when you were blind drunk, and now she's asking for a relationship? Imagine the blackmail if you had gone through with it.

 

Someone's a bit clingy.

[Ginger_Warrior]

They were good friends, so he says.

 

You'd have to be really lacking in sensitivity to shag her, tell her you're not interested in anything more than that when she so obviously is, and still expect the friendship to be all sunshine and rainbows while you go off looking for other girls you do want something more with.