"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[muggiwhplar]

I would've sat next to her and been like, "50 Shades of Gray, eh? Have you gotten to the part where he [bleep]s her yet???"

 

Also be sure to rub her hair and pull her elbows.

[Donnie]

Also be sure to rub her hair and pull her elbows.

 

works every time :lol:

[Riku3220]

She looks busy, I wouldn't approach her. She would probably just tell me to screw off or something. Also, tentacles aren't a turn on for me ;)

She's not busy. She's waiting for something. No one goes to a school bench/park bench to study or read (unless they're middle aged). She's just trying to find something to fill her time till she has to do what she needs to do. I'd approach her. Sit down next to her and ask her what she's burying herself in.

And go.

Well when I sit on a bench to read in between classes it's not because I'm waiting for a conversation to happen. Either I'm reviewing something before class or I just want to read in the sun.

[Donnie]

She looks busy, I wouldn't approach her. She would probably just tell me to screw off or something. Also, tentacles aren't a turn on for me ;)

She's not busy. She's waiting for something. No one goes to a school bench/park bench to study or read (unless they're middle aged). She's just trying to find something to fill her time till she has to do what she needs to do. I'd approach her. Sit down next to her and ask her what she's burying herself in.

And go.

Well when I sit on a bench to read in between classes it's not because I'm waiting for a conversation to happen. Either I'm reviewing something before class or I just want to read in the sun.

 

I guess the point here was that you probably wouldn't be too annoyed if someone tried to talk to you, and if you did happen to be busy you would probably say something like "sorry I have to finish this before my next class starts"

[Ishamael]

^Terrible attitude.

If you approach her and that happens you've wasted ten seconds and maybe bruised your ego slightly. However it may also succeed and you'll never know unless you try.

 

I'm going to sound pretty hypocritical here due to how difficult I find meeting new people, but you're over thinking this.

 

I would personally keep walking and not talk to her because I feel like I would be bothering her. Besides, she has horrible taste in shoes.

[Ishamael]

Not to sound cocky or anything but I've been with three different people since New Years. I think I know how to approach girls ;).

 

Don't get me wrong, who know what could happen in this situation. I'm just saying that I would personally not bother her.

[TTanT]

In general an attitude of "she'd probably say no anyways" is a losing attitude. If you're attracted to a girl and don't ask her out you get the joy of potentially regretting that. If you take a shot at it and she turns you down absolutely no damage was done.*

 

Better to give it a shot and move on than to never try and waste time looking back.

 

Anyways, our personal attractions towards her are irrelevant because we were looking from RPG's supposed point of view, which was one of a person who was totally into her.

 

*The exception is if it's a person you see a lot, because then you can pick your time better (aka any time in which they look vaguely open, you don't want to overthink it and wait for the "perfect moment" because it will never come). Personally I always try to err on the side of risk**, because it's better to kill my chances with a girl prematurely than to waste time and thought on something that could go either way.

 

**Well, emphasis on try.

[nine naked men]

She would probably just tell you to screw off if you approached her anyways.

 

she might even tell you to "book" it

 

Ha Ha

[TTanT]

That was such a novel pun.

[RpgGamer]

oh lawd deez puns

 

Why am I assumed to be into her? I saw her sitting there, and I immediately thought this would be a good discussion topic, but where my words would have failed me I took a picture to describe the scene better (and avoid bias). While she was mildly attractive, I mulled it over in my head and decided I'd rather chill with my music than aimlessly talk to someone (and knowing the people on my campus, she likely felt the same way about whatever it was she was reading)

[TTanT]

^I did say "RPG's supposed point of view" because you pointed out it was an experiment to see our opinions later.

 

But if someone posts here about approaching someone I think that it's pretty reasonable to say they're interested in canoodling with that person. I mean the thread often goes a lot deeper than that, but that's still it's still a dating advice thread at its core.

After that I was just arguing the general point of "if you want to approach a girl you should, rather than potentially regret not doing so later".

[nine naked men]

oh lawd deez puns

 

Why am I assumed to be into her? I saw her sitting there, and I immediately thought this would be a good discussion topic, but where my words would have failed me I took a picture to describe the scene better (and avoid bias). While she was mildly attractive, I mulled it over in my head and decided I'd rather chill with my music than aimlessly talk to someone (and knowing the people on my campus, she likely felt the same way about whatever it was she was reading)

 

Oh well then I would just go up to her and say "hey i have been taking pictures of you without your consent/knowledge want to hang out?"

[Kaida23]

Hmm...maybe that's what I've been doing wrong. Girls like guys who act like creepy stalkers right? :P

[Giordano]

My question is: do you need to talk to every single person you ever encounter? Of course not, thus there's nothing wrong with people saying "no" to RPG's question. To add, I bet there would be no discussion if it was a man sitting there.

 

About the Height topic: I knew I would have to "work harder", in truth I was hoping to find some specific ideas/experience, but I figure now it's all irrelevant.

 

 

Uhhh, so in other news I've found somebody I may be interested in one of my classes. She's not typically the build I go for but her personality sure is. And she's shorter than me, this time 'round. :wink:

[Ginger_Warrior]

I'm 5'0" and, truth is, I'm not that attracted to taller girls. All of my girlfriends in the past have been around 5'6" or smaller. The body language is very awkward to sort out if they're much taller than that, so I don't consider it much of an issue, really.

 

One thing I'm slowly learning in life is that issues are only really issues if you perceive them as issues. You have no idea whether your chances of finding a girlfriend are lessened by the fact you're shorter than the average male height, to what they would have been anyway had you grown to the average height. You presume your chances or worsened because you perceive yourself as no longer being part of the "norm".

 

Are we honestly to believe that basing your perceptions of how attractive you are to other women, on such a crummy base of evidence, really the best way to go about this topic?

[RpgGamer]

Muggiw stuffs _{his shoes}

 

I just imagined how funny it would look if this thread were to all hang out in person one day. The image of Ginger and Saq standing next to each other amuses me.

 

I agree with Giordano, you don't talk to everyone you encounter. Although, the idea of lacking a discussion if the subject was male I find wrong. I'd love to hear that discussion, but unfortunately many of us here aren't attracted to men, so there'd be few participants.

[The_Gabe]

I'm 5'0" and, truth is, I'm not that attracted to taller girls. All of my girlfriends in the past have been around 5'6" or smaller. The body language is very awkward to sort out if they're much taller than that, so I don't consider it much of an issue, really.

 

One thing I'm slowly learning in life is that issues are only really issues if you perceive them as issues. You have no idea whether your chances of finding a girlfriend are lessened by the fact you're shorter than the average male height, to what they would have been anyway had you grown to the average height. You presume your chances or worsened because you perceive yourself as no longer being part of the "norm".

 

Are we honestly to believe that basing your perceptions of how attractive you are to other women, on such a crummy base of evidence, really the best way to go about this topic?

 

Yes. As one of experience, my height (5'5'') wasn't very helpful. I don't think it matters any in my current relationship, as my gf is like 5'2'' or so. I've heard many others just say how awkward it would be if their boyfriends were shorter.

[Kaida23]

It's no more physically awkward than when a girl is a lot shorter than a guy, it just has the perception of being less socially acceptable.

 

Height, like every other physical trait, has no bearing on how well a relationship will work. We all have certain traits that we're attracted to which establishes the initial attraction. Their personality does the rest.

[Estonian dude]

Well, Ginger, it would be hard for you here... We are second highest nation in Europe and us Europeans are taller than Americans in average.

You are so small that there isn't a single girl in my class shorter than you. And we have 30 girls in class...

[Ginger_Warrior]

I'm not American but... I'm well used to being the smallest person in the room anyway, amongst boys and girls. My size has only ever become a practical issue when you're in a nightclub or a house party with loud music, the kind where you really need to press up against someone's ear just so they have a chance to hear what you're saying (I'm not a huge fan of those kinds of parties but, you still get dragged to them every now and then). Obviously if you're over half a foot shorter than they are, that becomes a bit of an issue. But then the reverse is also true; smaller girls would have the same issue with taller guys, so it balances out.

 

If you're in a quieter room though, you should be speaking clearly enough to be heard regardless of how small/tall you are. So instead of mumbling under your breath, so that only people dead close can hear, speaking up and talking to people's faces. That just comes with confidence, which is an attractive quality to have anyway.

 

But size isn't an issue for me. If anything it makes me more noticeable in a room full of strangers. That and my hair, obviously.

[Omar]

A girl I am not at all interested in is hitting on me, I think. She's likely to hang around me for a while (several semesters) because she's running for a position in my student association, and I'll be in there too. I've been pretending her hints were just jokes, but she's pushing pretty hard. What do I do? Do I tell her I'm gay? Do I pretend I'm dating a mutual friend? Do I start writing sitcoms?

[Edit] Oh yeah, I told her I had an interview at a museum and that I might go to check out the place so I don't look entirely clueless and she kind of latched herself on. She's making it sound like some sort of... date...

[obfuscator]

A girl I am not at all interested in is hitting on me, I think. She's likely to hang around me for a while (several semesters) because she's running for a position in my student association, and I'll be in there too. I've been pretending her hints were just jokes, but she's pushing pretty hard. What do I do? Do I tell her I'm gay? Do I pretend I'm dating a mutual friend? Do I start writing sitcoms?

[Edit] Oh yeah, I told her I had an interview at a museum and that I might go to check out the place so I don't look entirely clueless and she kind of latched herself on. She's making it sound like some sort of... date...

 

Tell her you want to go by yourself. If she really doesn't get the hint, tell her that you're not interested in her. If she denies that being her intent, tell her that she's making you uncomfortable with her actions and should leave you alone.

 

And be prepared for her to be pissed. Such is the price of honesty.

[Omar]

Honesty isn't what I'm after here, I just want as little drama as possible in my interactions with her. It's just going to get in the way of the association's goals.

[nine naked men]

A girl I am not at all interested in is hitting on me, I think. She's likely to hang around me for a while (several semesters) because she's running for a position in my student association, and I'll be in there too. I've been pretending her hints were just jokes, but she's pushing pretty hard. What do I do? Do I tell her I'm gay? Do I pretend I'm dating a mutual friend? Do I start writing sitcoms?

[Edit] Oh yeah, I told her I had an interview at a museum and that I might go to check out the place so I don't look entirely clueless and she kind of latched herself on. She's making it sound like some sort of... date...

 

Link her this video and tell her you made it

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXWiG2B4zk

[Ishamael]

Honesty isn't what I'm after here, I just want as little drama as possible in my interactions with her. It's just going to get in the way of the association's goals.

 

Why aren't you interested in her, in the first place?

 

Also, be honest. Sure, she may not like it but just talk to her and tell her that you're not interested in her like that, and that you wish to just be friends.