"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Noxx]

I am... frustrated. So the past few weeks have been pretty quiet in terms of girls. I guess i've had a few chances when we went out, but i never followed through. I'll start off with last friday night, which was the most frustrating for me.

We're out. I see this girl looking at me (well actually i was looking at her and she happened to look up). She smiles at me and i smile back. She waves at me and i give her another "shy" smile. And then i just stand there. My friend looked at me in disbelief. She was actually a girl he made a comment about earlier saying how hot she was, and dear god she was. She was gorgeous and everything in me told me to go talk to her, but i was frozen.

Fast forward an hour. We're on the dance floor. I make eye contact with a girl and smile at her. She gives me a long stare, and i keep eye contact. Later that night she walked past me on her way to the toilet and i catch her eyes again. She gives me the "please talk to me" stare. What do i do? I watch her walk by. So i thought to myself before we were about to leave, that i was going to go talk to her. I stood there for about 5 minutes trying to convince myself to go talk to her, but something in me just could not move.

 

It's utterly frustrating because i know that chances are i won't get rejected. I don't mean to be cocky at all, i really don't. But i just feel like i have something different to me. Actually, i know i have something different to me. And i suppose i'm not terrible looking either, which isn't a bad thing. But something in me, the past few weeks, have been keeping me from getting out there again. I've made a deal with myself though, today, that if we go out tomorrow and i see either of them again and we share a similar moment (or any other girl for that matter) i'm going to act like a man and go over there and just talk to them.

 

In other news, the neighbor love triangle girls... well i basically decided to just be friends with her. And it worked for a while, till she told me she misses me. She came over the one day and we spent hours just talking. She can over at about 11 am and before we realised it was already 6 pm. We spent the entire time just talking. She told me she feels something really special for me. But the past few days her actions have not matched her words. She went back home for a while and only got back on Monday. Today was the first time i have seen her since. When she saw me she dropped her flight bag (this was at school), ran over to me and hugged me. I was surprised to say the least. She tells me often how much she misses me, but never really does anything about it. We hardly see each other anymore. She talks like she loves me, like she wants to be with me, but nothing is coming of it. I'm trying not to pay much attention to it, because i am very much familiar with the games girls play (they're actually similar to the games guys play). Part of me wants to punch her in the face and tell her to wake the [bleep] up (of course i am joking, i do not support abuse), but then part of me wants her to struggle a bit longer till she realises what she had in me, and what she has given up.

 

I am sure i had a question to ask before i started writing this, but my mind is so full of L = 1/2 rho x V^2 S that anything else kind of just slips away.

[RpgGamer]

I am... frustrated. So the past few weeks have been pretty quiet in terms of girls. I guess i've had a few chances when we went out, but i never followed through. I'll start off with last friday night, which was the most frustrating for me.

We're out. I see this girl looking at me (well actually i was looking at her and she happened to look up). She smiles at me and i smile back. She waves at me and i give her another "shy" smile. And then i just stand there. My friend looked at me in disbelief. She was actually a girl he made a comment about earlier saying how hot she was, and dear god she was. She was gorgeous and everything in me told me to go talk to her, but i was frozen.

Fast forward an hour. We're on the dance floor. I make eye contact with a girl and smile at her. She gives me a long stare, and i keep eye contact. Later that night she walked past me on her way to the toilet and i catch her eyes again. She gives me the "please talk to me" stare. What do i do? I watch her walk by. So i thought to myself before we were about to leave, that i was going to go talk to her. I stood there for about 5 minutes trying to convince myself to go talk to her, but something in me just could not move.

 

It's utterly frustrating because i know that chances are i won't get rejected. I don't mean to be cocky at all, i really don't. But i just feel like i have something different to me. Actually, i know i have something different to me. And i suppose i'm not terrible looking either, which isn't a bad thing. But something in me, the past few weeks, have been keeping me from getting out there again. I've made a deal with myself though, today, that if we go out tomorrow and i see either of them again and we share a similar moment (or any other girl for that matter) i'm going to act like a man and go over there and just talk to them.

 

In other news, the neighbor love triangle girls... well i basically decided to just be friends with her. And it worked for a while, till she told me she misses me. She came over the one day and we spent hours just talking. She can over at about 11 am and before we realised it was already 6 pm. We spent the entire time just talking. She told me she feels something really special for me. But the past few days her actions have not matched her words. She went back home for a while and only got back on Monday. Today was the first time i have seen her since. When she saw me she dropped her flight bag (this was at school), ran over to me and hugged me. I was surprised to say the least. She tells me often how much she misses me, but never really does anything about it. We hardly see each other anymore. She talks like she loves me, like she wants to be with me, but nothing is coming of it. I'm trying not to pay much attention to it, because i am very much familiar with the games girls play (they're actually similar to the games guys play). Part of me wants to punch her in the face and tell her to wake the [bleep] up (of course i am joking, i do not support abuse), but then part of me wants her to struggle a bit longer till she realises what she had in me, and what she has given up.

 

I am sure i had a question to ask before i started writing this, but my mind is so full of L = 1/2 rho x V^2 S that anything else kind of just slips away.

 

Sounds to me you either have it hard for neighbor girl, or you feel guilty about not being more with her. Either way, you're def hung up on someone. Or just bored of the dating BS. One or the other. Damn your looks and charm.

 

 

SO my self documentation has been successful in provoking me into making my life hectic. As I wanted. I'll be moving in with a girl I've been talking to for less than a day (see also: the last 2 minutes of part 2 of my spring break video) next weekend. It's only for a few days so we can get drunk, rave and maybe do acid. Maybe. But that's where my life's at right now. I've not dived so hard into a "relationship" since my first girlfriend. It feels right in a way.

[Sir_Squab]

This is going to end horribly. I'm sure of it.

[constrictor]

Eh don't get too excited, even in 142 views, I got no messages, and a lot of the viewers were from like Hawaii and South Korea and such. Just thought it was funny. The girl I went on a date with on Monday got back together with her boyfriend, so now I'm basically at square one across the board. Not too worried though. I have a concert on Friday that's sold out, and even with my iffy wingman, I'm sure I could start something.

 

[bleep]es love concerts.

Also, what concert?

[Omar]

SO my self documentation has been successful in provoking me into making my life hectic. As I wanted. I'll be moving in with a girl I've been talking to for less than a day (see also: the last 2 minutes of part 2 of my spring break video) next weekend. It's only for a few days so we can get drunk, rave and maybe do acid. Maybe. But that's where my life's at right now. I've not dived so hard into a "relationship" since my first girlfriend. It feels right in a way.

 

Sounds like a good time. Have fun!

[RpgGamer]

Eh don't get too excited, even in 142 views, I got no messages, and a lot of the viewers were from like Hawaii and South Korea and such. Just thought it was funny. The girl I went on a date with on Monday got back together with her boyfriend, so now I'm basically at square one across the board. Not too worried though. I have a concert on Friday that's sold out, and even with my iffy wingman, I'm sure I could start something.

 

[bleep]es love concerts.

Also, what concert?

 

A Day to Remember is headlining Of Mice and Men and Chunk! No Captain Chunk!. Sold out show, but my cousin once removed is a bartender at the venue and my aunt used her voodoo magic to convince him to let me in on a special guest list.

 

SO my self documentation has been successful in provoking me into making my life hectic. As I wanted. I'll be moving in with a girl I've been talking to for less than a day (see also: the last 2 minutes of part 2 of my spring break video) next weekend. It's only for a few days so we can get drunk, rave and maybe do acid. Maybe. But that's where my life's at right now. I've not dived so hard into a "relationship" since my first girlfriend. It feels right in a way.

 

Sounds like a good time. Have fun!

 

This is going to end horribly. I'm sure of it.

 

The cool thing is, you're both right! I know for a fact this'll blow up in my face hardcore. But I want to give it a chance. Because giving it a chance is fun. And even if it starts a little awkward, and it ends with my house being burned down, I'll be sure to have enough fun in the middle part to justify it!

[muggiwhplar]

SO my self documentation has been successful in provoking me into making my life hectic. As I wanted. I'll be moving in with a girl I've been talking to for less than a day (see also: the last 2 minutes of part 2 of my spring break video) next weekend. It's only for a few days so we can get drunk, rave and maybe do acid. Maybe. But that's where my life's at right now. I've not dived so hard into a "relationship" since my first girlfriend. It feels right in a way.

 

Sounds like a good time. Have fun!

 

This is going to end horribly. I'm sure of it.

 

The cool thing is, you're both right! I know for a fact this'll blow up in my face hardcore. But I want to give it a chance. Because giving it a chance is fun. And even if it starts a little awkward, and it ends with my house being burned down, I'll be sure to have enough fun in the middle part to justify it!

 

[Sir_Squab]

And moments like this I realize there's worse things then being single.

[RpgGamer]

Sometimes life gets boring and you need to do something to mix it up. If it makes you feel better, my one friend was trying to get me to go to synagogue (church to all you gentile folk) high next week. Turned that down. I don't play that game. But you take life too seriously if you're not willing to risk some stuff here and there. I like to have little bursts of crazy from time to time. Most of the time it makes for a good story. Or a story at least.

[Omar]

No, I meant it would be an all-around good time. Especially if you do psychs (in a reasonably safe environment).

[Estonian dude]

About to go trigger drinking again, I am afraid. Reason? The girl I like is beimg taken by a guy a million times better than I am. Where the [bleep] was he before? I have nothing against him. And so, I am gonna drink. My ass off.

[Randox]

Is this the same girl you were going to, or did, ask out to the prom a week or two ago?

[Estonian dude]

The same that I planned to. Thing is, I was abroad for a week.

[RpgGamer]

Thats a damn shame Saq. How about instead of getting retarded drunk, you use your next drinking opportunity to have a nice conversation with a pretty lady? Better use of time, unless you really need the mourning period (which I totally get the frustration, but perspectively you really haven't lost anything)

 

Things continue to go fairly well with the girl I've now been talking to for like ~3 days. I think she's beginning to trust me. She's clearly got issues, but...none of my business really.

[Estonian dude]

I have nothing to talk about with pretty girls... Just ends in awkward silence.

And I am really hard to impress that much that I would make a move. I have quite ridculously high standards for girls and it is costing me dearly. But there is no way I am going lower, just for the heck of it.

But I am a great drinking partner for guys. I don't know why, but I always have like 4-5 dudes around that I am chattiing with. And I get invited practically everywhere where guys have a party. Now, during my trip to Slovakia I got 3 phone calls calling me to parties, just in case I had left or arrived earlier. And yet I don't get along with girls. At all.

[Ginger_Warrior]

That's only because you're anxious. I'm sure you can think of something to say, even if it's asking questions to get to know them. You don't have to come across as sophisticated or incredible, just be interested in them and confident enough to hold down a conversation. When you think about it, pretty much everyone you meet in life will have some common interest with you, even if it's as trivial as what TV shows you watch or the last time you went to the pictures, and you'll eventually discover one. Then you can start talking less in terms of 'you' and 'me'; and more in terms of 'we'.

 

As a general rule, the one thing people love talking about, more than anything else, is themselves.

[muggiwhplar]

I have nothing to talk about with pretty girls... Just ends in awkward silence.

And I am really hard to impress that much that I would make a move. I have quite ridculously high standards for girls and it is costing me dearly. But there is no way I am going lower, just for the heck of it.

But I am a great drinking partner for guys. I don't know why, but I always have like 4-5 dudes around that I am chattiing with. And I get invited practically everywhere where guys have a party. Now, during my trip to Slovakia I got 3 phone calls calling me to parties, just in case I had left or arrived earlier. And yet I don't get along with girls. At all.

 

Stop using "high standards" as an excuse to chicken out.

[Noxx]

Gotta agree with Muggi. I sometimes find myself doing the same thing. "She really isn't that good looking" , or, "The way she acts is kind of putting me off." Bullshit. I'm just too chickenshit to go over there and talk to her because i fear rejection. But let me tell you something. Rejection is a part of life. Last night i followed through with the deal i made with myself. If i see a girl that caught my attention i would go talk to her. So i saw a girl, and i went up and talked to her. Was a bit messy at first (which she thought was kind of cute) but it started going better. The only thing that worked against my favour was when i told her i was only a student here. Right away she knew i would probably leave soon so i got the rejection. I said bye, went back to my friends. They were full of jokes about it ("Haha, you got rejected") but some random group of guys standing behind us overheard and told them at least i was the one with the balls to actually talk to her. And that, my friend, is what it's all about. So what if things are awkward. So what if you get rejected. It's not always going to be the case. Probably more than 70% of the time it won't be, and you will end up getting from her what you want.

[Kaida23]

You don't have to compromise your standards, but you should at least get some practice in talking to girls even if they aren't up to those standards. If you can't talk to girls you aren't interested in, you'll never be able to talk to the ones you are.

[TTanT]

Personally I'd never date a girl who couldn't wrestle a bear while calculating a rocket's speed and trajectory based off of its thrusters and aerodynamics, all while maintaining her girlish figure and cracking witty but unoffensive jokes.

 

If she can't manage that it's not even worth the effort, man.

 

OT: I think I'm improving my "actually talk to people and don't be a social hermit" strategy lately. I still don't talk to many people before lectures and such, but I think that's accountable to the fact that I'm sitting two seats away from the nearest person in a room full of at least a hundred people. It's kind of an asocial environment.

Outside of that though I try to say something to diffuse the tension in any situation where I'm waiting with random strangers, and it's starting to become more natural now. Baby steps, right?

[Randox]

If your talking about physical standards, there really shouldn't be any thought at all should there? The whole process for picking a suitable mate is handled by your subconscious which should be providing you with decisions pretty much the second you look at someone. It will even let you know if someone with a really high score is in sight whether you were thinking about dating or not.

 

If your referring to talking to people, that's a more interesting issue. Again, you already have a set internal criteria. For example, I couldn't date the male equivalent of Jillian from family guy because I would get bored and frustrated very quickly because I wouldn't be able to talk about anything of interest to me. Ginger is spot on that people love to talk about themselves. Attention and not talking about yourself are both bonus points to the opposite party, and it's a very effort free way to keep a conversation going long enough to figure out what else you can talk about. You are fishing for common ground.

 

If your anxious about talking to someone, it is a massive advantage to be the one that initiates conversation because it forces you have a premise for talking to them. It doesn't matter what the premise is, what matters is it gives you a starting point, and by not being caught off guard you can muster something intelligent enough to keep a conversation going. I also agree with Kaida, that it would be of benefit to get practice in with people your not interested in dating. It allows you build the relevant skill set, and confidence.

[MightyMuddy]

Hey guys, anyone mind running me through how teasing a girl goes?

I'm an 18 year old first year at university and I've been visting my friend who's started living at a hall and I've met one of his friends there and ever since I met her I've teased her a little which she's been taking it pretty well, like my friend was saying she essentially brought our 17 year old friend cancer when she brought him cigarettes and I jumped in and said she was an awful person and she laughed and said how she liked how I've only met her for so long and I'm already bullying her.

She's also said things like "you should come over more often" and I'd usually reply something like "I would but I'd have to see you" and once again she laughs and takes it pretty well, and once when she was saying how potentially intimidating she could be I said "There's no way you could be, you're far too adorable" and she told me she liked it better when I was insulting her. Which I covered with calling her a child because she cried after she lost a debating match when she was younger.

Anyway, a little bit of advice would be nice because I don't really "get it" haha.

[muggiwhplar]

Hey guys, anyone mind running me through how teasing a girl goes?

I'm an 18 year old first year at university and I've been visting my friend who's started living at a hall and I've met one of his friends there and ever since I met her I've teased her a little which she's been taking it pretty well, like my friend was saying she essentially brought our 17 year old friend cancer when she brought him cigarettes and I jumped in and said she was an awful person and she laughed and said how she liked how I've only met her for so long and I'm already bullying her.

She's also said things like "you should come over more often" and I'd usually reply something like "I would but I'd have to see you" and once again she laughs and takes it pretty well, and once when she was saying how potentially intimidating she could be I said "There's no way you could be, you're far too adorable" and she told me she liked it better when I was insulting her. Which I covered with calling her a child because she cried after she lost a debating match when she was younger.

Anyway, a little bit of advice would be nice because I don't really "get it" haha.

 

You might find this helpful: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?1019-Push-Pull-From-A-to-Z

[Omar]

It was a pretty classic drunk college makeout. I walked out of some party and saw a group of 4 chicks standing there. I literally just walked up to them and yelled, "Shut the [bleep] up." Next thing I know we're heading to some other party and I end up making out with her behind a tree to hide her from her friends on the way. We end up going back to her room, and then right as I was starting to take her clothes off, one of her roommates walked in and told her there was pizza next door. She left me for that pizza. We could've been something special.

:lol:

[Estonian dude]

I am a complete and utter jerk lately. And it somewhat pays up. Free trips home, yay!

 

Other than that, tried drinking myself to coma but the host.of the party himself got co.pletely wasted TOO early.