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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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Damn. I always knew I was doing something wrong back in high school. :lol:

 

Same. Making up for it now though haha ;)

 

Nothing like a little compensation :P

Trust me I've been known to do the same.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

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I hug colleagues at work sometimes. Doesn't mean I wanna bone 'em.

 

Just saying...

 

I would never. Laws are pretty uptight and you could get sexual harassment for that, even if the girl initiates.

I handle coworkers with a 20 foot poll.

 

But in general a hug means nothing

 

Urgh, sexual harassment laws. Both when I was a volunteer counselor and when I learned to teach swimming lessons, there was a part of the training specifically on not getting sued and put on a list. I know more than one male lifeguard who absolutely hated teaching girls to swim in the early levels when you have to help them float. The way some of the parents look at you does not help. In that respect, being a girl is much easier. For being a counselor, we were actually taught how to keep a kid from hugging you.

 

We have two hugs. The friend hug, and the romantic hug.

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Leaving a day early to see mah gurl

Wish me luck. See you all next week. (hopefully haha)

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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I hug colleagues at work sometimes. Doesn't mean I wanna bone 'em.

 

Just saying...

 

I would never. Laws are pretty uptight and you could get sexual harassment for that, even if the girl initiates.

I handle coworkers with a 20 foot poll.

 

But in general a hug means nothing

 

I think it depends on where you work and who you work with.

 

All of our conversations are horribly offensive, I don't think there is a topic we can't turn inappropriate.

 

And while back at work I was talking to the shop manager and we were standing facing each other in front of a table. One of the other guys needed something from the table and he walked up and pushed us apart with his hands on our chests.

 

Then he remembered that I'm a girl :P

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One more example of the coldness and closedness of my people : if there are empty seats on public transportation, but a stranger is sitting on the next seat, most people just stand up and prefer that to sitting next to a stranger. Some people go as far as putting all their bags and clothing on the seat next to them just to make sure that nobody sits next to them.

 

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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One more example of the coldness and closedness of my people : if there are empty seats on public transportation, but a stranger is sitting on the next seat, most people just stand up and prefer that to sitting next to a stranger. Some people go as far as putting all their bags and clothing on the seat next to them just to make sure that nobody sits next to them.

That happens here...

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Yeah no-one likes sitting next to random strangers in public transportation.

 

Really, no-one likes public transportation in general.

The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]

I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:

I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

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Not here. Most people realize that there's no room for you to sit because they've set their bags down, pick them up, and apologize profusely. On occasion, you'll see a selfish dick, but I've only seen it once or twice.

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Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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In my vast experience of public transport (no one in my family has ever owned or even been able to drive a car), it tends to be a 75:25 split between those who do remove bags from seats and those who don't, and if you ask the latter, they'll usually get all huffy, but this is pretty obvious body language of them knowing they're in the wrong.

 

I think the issue with public transport and not sitting next to people is that it's an invasion of personal space, which for fairly obvious reasons, we don't appreciate total strangers doing to us. I've noticed people don't usually sit directly in front or behind other people either, but usually leave a row of seats in between.

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I still have the problem, that on the internet I am a much more open person. And that with everybody, including people I personally know. It is like 2 realities. I speak with my friends more openly online and I speak with girls that I know and see daily even almost exclusively online. I just don't dare to start a face to face conversation. And it is hard for me to keep one up over 5 mins in real life. While over the internet I've had chats lasting more than 12 hours. With girls. Of course, then there are the usual eating and bathroom breaks, but it is consistent talking.

 

And yet I cannot speak IRL.

With girls I mean, with boys I have no trouble at all.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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If you think yourself as a closed Estonian, you'll be a closed Estonian.

 

If you think yourself as an open human being, you'll be an open human being.

 

That's the first step.

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"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Ok, I am officially a [bleep]ed up person and I should never get a girl.

 

As in, I just got rejected. Again.

And I heard LOTS of bad stuff about me...

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Nope. She was out of my league from the start. I actually didn't even hope too much before I started talking with other people who told me to go for it.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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So you fell off your bike. If you don't get back on you'll never learn how to ride.

 

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So, Kaida is the real version of every fictional science-badass? That explains a lot, actually...

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Nope. She was out of my league from the start. I actually didn't even hope too much before I started talking with other people who told me to go for it.

 

Well with that kind of attitude you weren't exactly bound for success dude. What happened? Is this the same girl you said was "unseduceable" before or was this another one?

 

But rejections happen man, plenty of perfectly attractive people still get rejected. Just learn from whatever went wrong and try to improve on it next time.

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I was like that in high school. The only way to get better at talking in person is (you guessed it) to start talking more in person.

 

If you think yourself as a closed Estonian, you'll be a closed Estonian.

 

If you think yourself as an open human being, you'll be an open human being.

 

That's the first step.

 

Nope. She was out of my league from the start. I actually didn't even hope too much before I started talking with other people who told me to go for it.

 

Well with that kind of attitude you weren't exactly bound for success dude. What happened? Is this the same girl you said was "unseduceable" before or was this another one?

 

But rejections happen man, plenty of perfectly attractive people still get rejected. Just learn from whatever went wrong and try to improve on it next time.

 

I was gonna make my own post, but my post boiled down to resaying what these guys said.

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my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Possibly because I know I drive some of you nuts when I do this, but mostly because David Wong has a point and I don't feel like plagiarizing it while simultaneously making it worse, I want to take a turn at handing out some suggested reading. I'm going to cherry pick a couple parts that are specifically relevant and that I don't have to edit too much for the censor just in case, but this should really be mandatory reading in school.

 

 

"So, what, you're saying that I should pick up a book on how to get girls?"

 

Only if step one in the book is "Start making yourself into the type of person girls want to be around."

 

Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

 

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?

...

(hilariously NSFW video)

...

And if you hate hearing this and are responding with something you heard as a kid that sounds like "It's what's on the inside that matters!" then I can only say ...

 

(next major point stars here)

...

Don't get me wrong; who you are inside is everything -- the guy who built a house for his family from scratch did it because of who he was inside. Every bad thing you've ever done has started with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheting around inside your skull until you had to act on it. And every good thing you've done is the same -- "who you are inside" is the metaphorical dirt from which your fruit grows.

 

But here's what everyone needs to know, and what many of you can't accept:

"You" are nothing but the fruit.

Nobody cares about your dirt. "Who you are inside" is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people.

(continues on from here)

 

The entire article is 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person, which as always contains adult language and a video on the second page that you absolutely do not want to view at work.

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I am actually changing. But as I've said, it happens slowly. Too [bleep]ing slowly. 2 years ago I wouldn't have imagined about kissing a girl. Now I've done it and not even only once. But the progress is still slow...

 

But decided to finally give the rejection therapy a go. And start exercising again.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Nope. She was out of my league from the start. I actually didn't even hope too much before I started talking with other people who told me to go for it.

 

I've been rejected about 13 times until I finally hooked up. You just gotta keep going.

sig2-3.jpg

 

Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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Nope. She was out of my league from the start. I actually didn't even hope too much before I started talking with other people who told me to go for it.

 

I've been rejected about 13 times until I finally hooked up. You just gotta keep going.

 

This this this this! Not every woman is your type, so it's dumb to assume that you are that one guy that every woman should be attracted to. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not targeting anyone in particular here. I'm just saying that not everyone finds "the one" on the first attempt. Just don't let it bring you down and continue trying.

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