Today...

[Kaida23]

Found out today that for the first time in my 8 years here my work is going to be closed on Good Friday instead of Easter Monday. Initially I thought this was going to completely throw off my plans for the weekend. Fortunately, my ex hadn't made plans for Monday and my mom is okay with moving Easter dinner back a day.

[Ember]

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[Ginger_Warrior]

What's everyone's thoughts on the idea of going to festivals on your own? A friend told me about her experiences of it, and I just wanted to hear other people's.

[Tim]

It got postponed. The teacher of the class fell ill so it's been put off until after the Easter holidays. which is good too, gives me ~3 weeks to get more comfortable in front of a camera. Most of my blogging atm is posted via wordpress every 2 weeks or so.

 

IF you're curious: http://timmyjaycee.wordpress.com/

 

I should warn at the moment it's more of a angst/rant/vent, and a diary of sorts to reflect on how I am or was feeling at the time of writing, what things are improving or not improving etc. Eventually I want to branch it from word blogging to video and update maybe once a week, or once a fortnight at latest.

 

@Gingy, I couldn't do it. if I had a friend it'd be easy to enjoy myself, meet new people but going 100% solo for someone still coming out of social anxiety is too big of a step.

[Randox]

I know of sleep paralysis, or hypnagogic states. Thinking about it more, that might have been it. Each time it seemed to start with my brain seriously messing up the same sensory input (I usually sleep with one heel against my other knee, and for some reason I thought foot touching the knee was moving, as if sliding across the bed), and concluding that the bed was moving, and so causing me to see that. I don't know if I couldn't move, or if I didn't want to. I know the second time I didn't move for several minutes, so perhaps I never even had a choice. Oddly, I don't think I ever tried to breathe, so no chest pain. Would explain why it didn't feel right too I suppose, and probably why I was so certain that I really didn't want to turn around (the 'malevolent presence').

 

Assuming sleep paralysis, that was more enjoyable than it could have been. The phone would seem to rule out the more common auditory hallucinations, and I didn't see anything except creepy wall. Just got the sense of dread and malevolent presence, so go me I guess. Still, I think I prefer whatever you call it where your falling asleep and you'll have a muscle spasm (normally accompanied with a sense of either someone flying at you, or suddenly falling). It's not pleasant, but it's over quickly.

 

I still have no sense of time. I swear at least 30 minutes went by writing this, and it felt like 5.

[RpgGamer]

I know of sleep paralysis, or hypnagogic states. Thinking about it more, that might have been it. Each time it seemed to start with my brain seriously messing up the same sensory input (I usually sleep with one heel against my other knee, and for some reason I thought foot touching the knee was moving, as if sliding across the bed), and concluding that the bed was moving, and so causing me to see that. I don't know if I couldn't move, or if I didn't want to. I know the second time I didn't move for several minutes, so perhaps I never even had a choice. Oddly, I don't think I ever tried to breathe, so no chest pain. Would explain why it didn't feel right too I suppose, and probably why I was so certain that I really didn't want to turn around (the 'malevolent presence').

 

Assuming sleep paralysis, that was more enjoyable than it could have been. The phone would seem to rule out the more common auditory hallucinations, and I didn't see anything except creepy wall. Just got the sense of dread and malevolent presence, so go me I guess. Still, I think I prefer whatever you call it where your falling asleep and you'll have a muscle spasm (normally accompanied with a sense of either someone flying at you, or suddenly falling). It's not pleasant, but it's over quickly.

 

I still have no sense of time. I swear at least 30 minutes went by writing this, and it felt like 5.

 

Yup that's actually fairly common. My psych class had a whole seminar on it a couple weeks ago, there's been studies done by actual reputable people, and the "incubus phenomenon" has been in human history for hundreds and hundreds of years accross varied cultures. I think it's like 1 in 30 people claim to have some experience close to it. it's fascinating what the mind is capable of.

 

I'll be keeping up with your blog Tim, can't wait to see some footage. As for mine, I think I'll try to record a bit after class, but I'll be packing and driving out to meet my riot girl, so I might not. I really want to capture how I feel though, it's going to be like filming a unicorn dancing with a leprechaun. Or the Flyers winning a game of hockey this season.

 

Today it's 4am, and I've spent yet another 7 hour block on skype with my riot girl. We decided to push our date to today instead of tomorrow, because my midterm got pushed back. I'll miss out on my group gathering, and some test review but...eh. I found a girl I really like. That's more important to me than some attendance grade. About 15 hours til I get to hold her :D

[Furah]

Completed two assignments today, so I've rewarded myself by playing some more KSP. So much rage. I've spent the past hour or two trying to get some solar panels because I forgot to put them on my space station. After that I need to get some fuel up to it to refuel space ships.

[Estonian dude]

Today, I listened to Garri Kasparov hold a speech in Tallinn University. Was interesting.

 

And above all I was totally surprised that people in my class, in one of the elite schools, top 5 school in country didn't know who he was.

[Ginger_Warrior]

Because in the 21st Century, being in one of the top schools in the country is synonymous with chess, clearly...

[Estonian dude]

No, but I'd imagine knowing one of the greatest chess players of all time, specially since he is on the news here for all the time because he is also in the Russian opposition should make him a valid candidate for being one person an intellectual human being should have at least heard of.

[Kalphite]

I go to one of the top universities in my country and I have friends here that don't know how to play chess lol. Intelligence doesn't determine your hobbies, and someone who doesn't play chess likely has no reason to know who the greatest chess player is. Hell, the only reason I recognized that name was because of some ps1 game I had as a kid called "Virtual Kasparov".

 

Today I found out that my schedule isn't working out nearly as nicely as I wanted to. I'm trying to do what's called an international minor here, which is a minor for engineers that involves 4 semesters of a language and 10 credits of classes focusing on other cultures. I was intending on taking a series of accelerated language courses, which are 8 credits each but count as two semesters of a language a semester, and then going to Germany for part of the summer after my sophomore year (going abroad is another requirement for the minor). However, today they released the course times for all the classes offered next semester, and the 8 credit course only has 5 spots open and is from 10-11 and 1-2 4 days a week, which pretty much screws up any other attempt at scheduling due to that awkward gap in between. I have to decide between letting my schedule go down the shitter or just starting the normal german track in the fall and only having two semesters done by the time I go to Germany. Right now I'm leaning towards the latter one; I don't want to put off the Germany trip until the summer after junior year because I want to try getting an internship that summer... bleh.

[Ember]

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[Bonez899]

Today I am mad. Just went and did a standardized fitness test on which I'm getting a rank. Came home and looked up the requirements for the rank to see what I achieved. I achieved the lowest rank for males on the test, a personal best as I am not the most athletic person. Then just for the laughs I looked on the female rankings for the test, found out that if I was of the opposite gender I would of received the top level for what barely got me by as a male...

[Randox]

Completed two assignments today, so I've rewarded myself by playing some more KSP. So much rage. I've spent the past hour or two trying to get some solar panels because I forgot to put them on my space station. After that I need to get some fuel up to it to refuel space ships.

KSP! KSP! KSP!

 

Something similar. Saw Scott Manley's vid where he rescues a broken miner with a skycrane so he can bring it back into orbit and give it a new part. Inspired me to waste hours of my life on a VTOL plane (plane might be generous, as it has no wings, just engines) that dives into the ground whenever I try to lift anything heavy enough to be useful.

[Tim]

Just finished an assessment myself, Next one requires me to construct a small essay + pp preso, then give the preso to my tutor via Skype. once that's done, thats the OHS part of my first cluster done, then the next step is developing a game-type, and HUD.

[Estonian dude]

Party up! No sober day in sight. But unfortunately O can't get as drunk to not remember last evening.... but anyways, no sober day in sight. Going snowboarding in 4 hours and I am drunk. Just love me mates.

[Ginger_Warrior]

<_<

 

I enjoy the odd night out just as much as the next guy, but this is beginning to get irksome...

[Kaphias]

Going snowboarding in 4 hours and I am drunk. Just love me mates.

As someone who spends a fair amount of time on the slopes, boarding drunk (or even buzzed) is completely stupid, not only for your own safety but those around you. I often find myself having to make much more difficult split-second decisions when skiing than driving, as a comparison.

[nine naked men]

One time I went skiing while drunk and threw up and the vomit froze in my mouth while I was vomiting and I choked and died.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I hope you know that you just made me laugh like a retarded seal.

[Estonian dude]

Dudes, the hill I am going to is only like 200 metres. Highest in the country, but my country is flat.

And for [bleep]s sake, ai just can't drink as much as a few years back. Starts coming up and resisting much earlier.

[Nekyia]

Ammo had his level 3 graduation tonight. It went good. Not as great as some of his other agility classes. It was kind of what I expected though as he has been challenging me a lot lately. He actually bolted from his kennel at work the other day and almost fully escaped, something he has never attempted before. It's frustrating. I hate when he challenges me for alpha, especially when he's been doing so well, it makes me feel like we're almost back to square one. His off leash recalls haven't suffered from this though which is amazing. Hopefully I can put him in his place by next weeks class!

[Blake]

I just liked 4 posts in a row. I like stuff too much, I should be more pessimistic.

 

Also, I really want a dog (like Ammo <3: ) and a kitty. Going to the animal shelter to play with some once in a while is nice, and going home to play with my parent's 240lb English Mastiff is tons of fun, but I want one for myself.

[The_Gabe]

Had an amazing day today and no alcohol was involved.

[Kalphite]

Played a show to a crowd of about 300 people today. Really is something else, haha.