Bullying and Your Views

[Will H]

Bullying sucks, fact. But there is no justification in physically retaliating, and it's preferable if you don't verbally retaliate either.

 

 

 

In all schools, popularity is the currency, and bullying is a way to obtain it from others.

[Serpent Eye]

Or if the situation is right a rl version of the infamous; 'You are a noob; your opinion is irrelevant.'

 

 

 

Forget the RL version! Let's just go around calling bullies "Def Noob!" or "Safer!" :twss: It would stun them so much that they would have no choice but to cease bullying you.

 

 

 

- - -

 

 

 

I don't see how self-defence is needed in a verbal situation.

 

 

 

For me, I was verbally bullied - name-calling and all that jazz. It never once crossed my mind that I should have the right to beat my bullies up because of it... Sure, I may have imagined doing terrible things to them in retaliation, but I knew that it wouldn't justify my actions as "right."

 

 

 

If someone is physically bullying you, pushing you around and stuff, then I think you have the right to defend yourself (and for the record, I say defend IMO, kneeing someone in the face and breaking their nose just because they called you a name isn't a defence - it's an attack.)

[Sam]

I was bullied for 3 years on and off. I've been pulled out trees, getting my neck sprained, getting concussion; as you can tell, physical bullying mostly. It was mostly chavs who go around calling people, mean, hurtful stuff, who can't take back what they hapily dish out. Most of the time, I've wanted to hurt them badly, but when I'm about to, my consience takes over, and I'll insult them instead, which would sometimes get me beaten up again.

 

 

 

But gladly, it's stopped now; I've moved towns, and school (reasons not to do with bullying). It's a much better school which I attend now, and I feel more confident and happy there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for the meaning of bullying, you have to define the fine line between jokey banter and hurtful exchange of words. Then, I can tell you.

[Freakyhair]

erm, bullying completely screws over kids lives and their social skills and their confidence and their personality and their work and their overall health.

 

 

 

why the hell would you think that its alright? i tell you what, if you were being bullied i bet you;d come on here and say excactly the opposite.

 

 

 

Their should be no views on whether bullyings right or wrong? isn't it obvious? if you don't realise this then at some point itll bite you in the [wagon] or you'll end up a completely horrible person.. :S

 

 

 

teachers who are bullies deserve to be sacked, i know there are a very small number that do, but the rest of what they do is just what they need to do, it just feels to you like thier bullying you. a teacher doesnt point out your weak spots and then take the piss for it everyday of your school life, or threaten you or push you about. at the end of the day i hate all bullies,i used to get bullied, but then you feel sorry for them as a few years along theyll be sucking up to you because nobody likes them(which they did lol). also bullies generaly seem to be pretty insecure people (generally) or so self concious that they only feel comfortable in a large group..

 

 

 

either way, fi you were saying what i think you were saying then i cant beleive you posted it, especially on these forums :S

[Riku3220]

I have no idea if he was talking to you or the OP, Rocco. His post made no sense to me at all really. It just seemed like he was rambling on about nothing.

 

 

 

Nobody ever said anything about being the bully or teachers that bully.

[ember3579]

Bullying (and I mean the hardcore physical kind) is why I sometimes think that capital punishment should be brought back. Specifically, the medieval variety. I'm not talking a ruler across the knuckles or a rod on the [donkey]. I'm talking 10 lashes with a studded bullwhip each time someone physically assaults a weaker person for the purpose of either proving how "hard" they are or having fun. Maybe then this [cabbage] will end. And yes, I have been bullied in the past, and yes, this is made me a militant, sadistic, brutal motherf**ker. Perhaps if people knew better than to push around those weaker than them because they can then I wouldn't be like this, but whatever. The past is the past, and the present is already happening. All that I hope for is that the future is better for people than it was for me. And I'm willing to take a large list of measures to make that happen.

[tripsis]

I'm a guy, and I have really long hair. This short black piece of [cabbage] teases me and calls me "Barbie" (seriously wtf?) as well as pretending that me and my best friend are gay together (we aren't) and spreading rumours about it.

 

 

 

Well one day during gym, I snap, grab his head, and knee him in the face four times, breaking his nose.

 

 

 

I have eight or nine people back me up in telling them that he has been teasing me and bullying me for a month. They are all creible and good students, while the black kid has nobody backing him up that I bullied him (which I didn't).

 

 

 

Guess what? I get a week OSS, he gets a day ISS. Why? He brought up the racist argument that I only hit him because he was black.

 

 

 

Educational Disciplinary System = FAIL.

 

You can't complain about being punished after you beat someone up. Sure he was bullying you, and he shouldn't have played the "race card," but you were also in the wrong by breaking his nose. If you had told someone that he was bullying you, he probably would have been punished and you would have been fine. But because you didn't and you chose to turn around and beat HIM up, it is fair that you were punished for your actions. Yes it was wrong that he "played the race card" and that was the reason that you got punished.. but that still doesn't mean that what you did was right.

 

 

 

And I agree with BlueLancer that it does sound like a "revenge fantasy," so everything that I said is assuming that your story is true, which I'm not completely sure is.

[Lenticular_J]

Heh, I have a reputation as a pothead because of how laid-back I usually am. (I've smoked weed twice in my life.) When people mess with me, I just offer them some druuuuuuuuuuuuuugs. I probably shouldn't, but it's funny how they freak out. I don't know why.

 

 

 

I'm also the only one at my school who can tell when someone is high. It's not hard at all. Just look at them and then jump up and wave your arms around. They'll laugh, and that's three strikes. >_>

[chi13]

Here's my experience

 

 

 

About two years ago, I was a senior in highschool at age 16. I pretty much allowed myself to be bullied by another student just about every day. He'd call me names, taunt me racially, and sometimes even physically harass me. He'd done the same to a few of the younger students, even bashing a seventh graders head into the wall until he chipped a tooth, but he escaped expulsion just because Daddy was on the school board. I put up with all this because I was too afraid of getting hurt to fight.

 

 

 

One day, we were all changing in the school cafeteria (our school didn't have proper changing rooms) and some kid calls me a n*gger. I couldn't just let him off, so I pick up a folding chair, just to act tough and show him I'm not to be pushed around. Out of nowhere, this douchebag throws a chair across the room and nails me in the jaw. I dropped to the ground and lay there. The two offenders walked over to investigate, I cringed out of fear of being hit again and spat out some blood. In that moment I felt completely dehumanized. I felt weak, unmanly, unfit to even live because I was too afraid to stand up to myself.

 

 

 

My dad was called to bring me home. By that time the blood was all over my face, dripping down my arms. You see, the chair had caused one of my teeth to puncture my lip. When my dad got their, I started crying. A senior in high school of all things, crying. I felt even more demoralized.

 

 

 

During the ride home, my dad said he'd suture the wound himself without anesthetic. Luckily when we got home, he was unable to find the sutures. I went straight to bed and woke up later that night with a fever.

 

 

 

When I went to school a few days later, the kid (who'd been given a slap on the wrist punishment) apologized to me, but continued to treat me pretty badly, though not quite as badly as before. I burned with the desire for revenge but I couldn't just deck him out of nowhere. I'd be expelled, or I could get my *** kicked, I thought.

 

 

 

Two years later, I'm eighteen and in my second year of college, but nary a day goes by when I don't think about that moment in time. I felt emasculated. I wonder if I'd be able to defend myself if things ever came to that. I see this kid at parties and he jokes about what happened all that while ago, like its in the past. But for me, its not. I know I could take him and every time I see him whether its when I go to my old school (he's still in high school btw) or hanging out with shared friends the thought of just jumping him springs up.

 

 

 

Honestly, I feel like kicking his *** just to prove to myself I can do it, that the only reason I "forgave" him all those years ago is because I was weak, too weak to retaliate. In my mind forgiveness just because of fear of retaliation is not forgiveness.Its been on my mind for so long but I think its better if I just let the whole thing go entirely.

 

 

 

This thread made me think this whole thing up and write about it.

[Lenticular_J]

That's a bit how I feel sometimes. I might be able to do something in a fight, but I've also occasionally come up with those "what if" scenarios. Never been hit in the face with a folding chair, though.

 

 

 

I don't think it's that bad a thing that you cried, though. You got hit in the face with a chair. Had to hurt like [bleep]. Plus, you were only 16 - that ain't that old.

[chi13]

That's a bit how I feel sometimes. I might be able to do something in a fight, but I've also occasionally come up with those "what if" scenarios. Never been hit in the face with a folding chair, though.

 

 

 

I don't think it's that bad a thing that you cried, though. You got hit in the face with a chair. Had to hurt like [bleep]. Plus, you were only 16 - that ain't that old.

 

 

 

At first, I thought by posting this that I was being "emo" and would get told off, but I'm glad that I posted and I'm for the support you guys have given me. You see, writing all this down has helped me to realize that I'm not angry with the kid for what happened to me back then but that I'm angry at myself because I was too much of a wimp to fight back. I thought I'd be carrying the rage and angst inside me for the rest of my life, but now that I realize what's really going on inside my head, I feel like I can lay the whole thing to rest. Of course I'll feel anxious any time I find myself in a physical confrontation but I know now that I need not fear any man and if it does come to that I'll have the strength to fight back.

[Lenticular_J]

Attaboy (older than me, so you aren't a boy, but whatever). I doubt there are many people on here that don't (at least sometimes) feel the same way. There aren't that many people who like a fight - losing a fight is probably one of the worst feelings ever. Really just getting hurt purposefully by someone is.

 

 

 

I still want to get into a barroom brawl sometime.

[Dizzle229]

You did the right thing. At the time you just feel like you need to slit the bastards throat. Then later on you think about it and wonder: What would have happened if I had retaliated? The answer is not often in your favor.

[MC_Kejml]

Here's my experience

 

 

 

About two years ago, I was a senior in highschool at age 16. I pretty much allowed myself to be bullied by another student just about every day. He'd call me names, taunt me racially, and sometimes even physically harass me. He'd done the same to a few of the younger students, even bashing a seventh graders head into the wall until he chipped a tooth, but he escaped expulsion just because Daddy was on the school board. I put up with all this because I was too afraid of getting hurt to fight.

 

 

 

One day, we were all changing in the school cafeteria (our school didn't have proper changing rooms) and some kid calls me a n*gger. I couldn't just let him off, so I pick up a folding chair, just to act tough and show him I'm not to be pushed around. Out of nowhere, this douchebag throws a chair across the room and nails me in the jaw. I dropped to the ground and lay there. The two offenders walked over to investigate, I cringed out of fear of being hit again and spat out some blood. In that moment I felt completely dehumanized. I felt weak, unmanly, unfit to even live because I was too afraid to stand up to myself.

 

 

 

My dad was called to bring me home. By that time the blood was all over my face, dripping down my arms. You see, the chair had caused one of my teeth to puncture my lip. When my dad got their, I started crying. A senior in high school of all things, crying. I felt even more demoralized.

 

 

 

During the ride home, my dad said he'd suture the wound himself without anesthetic. Luckily when we got home, he was unable to find the sutures. I went straight to bed and woke up later that night with a fever.

 

 

 

When I went to school a few days later, the kid (who'd been given a slap on the wrist punishment) apologized to me, but continued to treat me pretty badly, though not quite as badly as before. I burned with the desire for revenge but I couldn't just deck him out of nowhere. I'd be expelled, or I could get my *** kicked, I thought.

 

 

 

Two years later, I'm eighteen and in my second year of college, but nary a day goes by when I don't think about that moment in time. I felt emasculated. I wonder if I'd be able to defend myself if things ever came to that. I see this kid at parties and he jokes about what happened all that while ago, like its in the past. But for me, its not. I know I could take him and every time I see him whether its when I go to my old school (he's still in high school btw) or hanging out with shared friends the thought of just jumping him springs up.

 

 

 

Honestly, I feel like kicking his *** just to prove to myself I can do it, that the only reason I "forgave" him all those years ago is because I was weak, too weak to retaliate. In my mind forgiveness just because of fear of retaliation is not forgiveness.Its been on my mind for so long but I think its better if I just let the whole thing go entirely.

 

 

 

This thread made me think this whole thing up and write about it.

 

 

 

I admire that you have written about it, since that is something not many people would do. It reminds me of similar things, how I wanted to seriously kill that person.

 

The cool thing is he is now a school dropout never getting a second chance, addicted on drugs and cigars, and I am an aspiring writer that will make something in life.

[dsavi]

[hide=]Here's my experience

 

 

 

About two years ago, I was a senior in highschool at age 16. I pretty much allowed myself to be bullied by another student just about every day. He'd call me names, taunt me racially, and sometimes even physically harass me. He'd done the same to a few of the younger students, even bashing a seventh graders head into the wall until he chipped a tooth, but he escaped expulsion just because Daddy was on the school board. I put up with all this because I was too afraid of getting hurt to fight.

 

 

 

One day, we were all changing in the school cafeteria (our school didn't have proper changing rooms) and some kid calls me a n*gger. I couldn't just let him off, so I pick up a folding chair, just to act tough and show him I'm not to be pushed around. Out of nowhere, this douchebag throws a chair across the room and nails me in the jaw. I dropped to the ground and lay there. The two offenders walked over to investigate, I cringed out of fear of being hit again and spat out some blood. In that moment I felt completely dehumanized. I felt weak, unmanly, unfit to even live because I was too afraid to stand up to myself.

 

 

 

My dad was called to bring me home. By that time the blood was all over my face, dripping down my arms. You see, the chair had caused one of my teeth to puncture my lip. When my dad got their, I started crying. A senior in high school of all things, crying. I felt even more demoralized.

 

 

 

During the ride home, my dad said he'd suture the wound himself without anesthetic. Luckily when we got home, he was unable to find the sutures. I went straight to bed and woke up later that night with a fever.

 

 

 

When I went to school a few days later, the kid (who'd been given a slap on the wrist punishment) apologized to me, but continued to treat me pretty badly, though not quite as badly as before. I burned with the desire for revenge but I couldn't just deck him out of nowhere. I'd be expelled, or I could get my *** kicked, I thought.

 

 

 

Two years later, I'm eighteen and in my second year of college, but nary a day goes by when I don't think about that moment in time. I felt emasculated. I wonder if I'd be able to defend myself if things ever came to that. I see this kid at parties and he jokes about what happened all that while ago, like its in the past. But for me, its not. I know I could take him and every time I see him whether its when I go to my old school (he's still in high school btw) or hanging out with shared friends the thought of just jumping him springs up.

 

 

 

Honestly, I feel like kicking his *** just to prove to myself I can do it, that the only reason I "forgave" him all those years ago is because I was weak, too weak to retaliate. In my mind forgiveness just because of fear of retaliation is not forgiveness.Its been on my mind for so long but I think its better if I just let the whole thing go entirely.

 

 

 

This thread made me think this whole thing up and write about it.[/hide]

 

You should be proud of yourself, hardly retaliating like that. To say that it isn't easy wouldn't do the most minuscule of understatements justice.

 

 

 

On a related note, I think it's shameful the way my classmates (I wouldn't call them friends) use racial slurs. Only just now are teachers beginning to start doing a little bit about it.

[ember3579]

Chi, you have a LOT more restraint than I do. I salute you. What I'm wondering is what was done about the person who threw the chair. Really, if this was in real life and I saw that being done to one of my friends, the person would have his arms broken. What sort of things did your friends do about it? And did the school do anything to punish the kid?

[Piscis_Rex]

I can't really say I've ever been a victim of bullying

 

 

 

There is this one guy in my year that you could say that me and my friends "bully", but it's not as if we don't do it for a reason, we do it because he's an annoying little [puncture] who tries to force himself into our friendship group (inviting himself to parties, sucking up to the more "popular" members of the group, that sort of thing) only one of us actually likes him, and that's because he's the one he's always sucking up to (he does practically whatever this guy says and actually makes him sandwiches every day) we make it very clear to him that we don't like him, but for some reason he thinks we're joking and continues to try to hang out with us. One time he was really pissing me off in form, on a day when I was in bad mood anyway, I finally snapped when he threw and empty can at my face, so I picked him up (he's really short and skinny, and he weighs about 6 stone) threw him on the floor and stomped on him twice and just sat back down, no one said anything, none of the teachers like him either.

[Princess Viola]

This one kid last year, his name was Jose, he was a "bully". Although, all he would do was call people gay and [bleep]s and his only response to things was "your mom". (stereotypical 6th grader :roll: ) Well, one day, I got so fed-up with him, I just spat at him. It didn't even hit him and he pushes me into a corner and starts to fight me. Obviously, I fight back. He kicks and I kick he punches me in the nose and eye and I fall, but I get up. Then, some other kids come and break it up and two of them ask me if I'm alright and they help me to the clinic. Then, since the little [wagon] had like 20 people there, they claim I spat in his face. (I did spit at him, but it landed on the [bleep]ing floor) And you wanna know what happens? I get 3 days OSS and the little [puncture] got 1 day OSS. Even though he gave me a bloody nose and a black eye and he's been bullying people (not just me) since school started. :wall: The Broward County School Board sucks. Although, he got expelled like a month later.

[Harakiri]

My dad has always said that Bullies grow up to be either:

 

A. On the Jerry Springer show

 

B. In jail

 

C. The guy behind the Burger King mask.

 

 

 

I've always thought that bullies are social outcasts who just think it makes them cool if they beat on people, that makes them cool.

 

I go to a nearly all black school (I am white), and so there are a lot of people who seem to bully the white kids a lot for liking Star Wars. God forgive me for not wanting to listen to songs about raping [garden tools], when I wish to hear songs about praising Satan...

 

 

 

And theres this kid...he's white, and since he lives on the South Side, he thinks he's black. He's a fat, pimple faced guy with the biggest lisp I've ever heard. He calls me and my friends crackers and crap...and it seems like he can't get it across his little brain that he's not black and his attempts at trying to fit in fall flat on their [wagon]...Every year he gets beat up so many times...

 

 

 

I remember one year my friend was so pissed at breakfast, that he punched the kid in the face. They ran around the breakfast tables and Jonathan fell...

 

 

 

Oh my god...this kid slips, fall, and everyone proceeds to dump their yogurt on his head...

 

 

 

Greatest fight ever...next to the one where the two guys were grabbing for each others junk to try and sqeeze it...

 

 

 

Next to the time the kid hit a teacher...

 

 

 

God my school is [bleep]ed up...

[ember3579]

My dad has always said that Bullies grow up to be either:

 

A. On the Jerry Springer show

 

B. In jail

 

C. The guy behind the Burger King mask.

 

 

 

I've always thought that bullies are social outcasts who just think it makes them cool if they beat on people, that makes them cool.

 

I go to a nearly all black school (I am white), and so there are a lot of people who seem to bully the white kids a lot for liking Star Wars. God forgive me for not wanting to listen to songs about raping [garden tools], when I wish to hear songs about praising Satan...

 

 

 

And theres this kid...he's white, and since he lives on the South Side, he thinks he's black. He's a fat, pimple faced guy with the biggest lisp I've ever heard. He calls me and my friends crackers and crap...and it seems like he can't get it across his little brain that he's not black and his attempts at trying to fit in fall flat on their [wagon]...Every year he gets beat up so many times...

 

 

 

I remember one year my friend was so pissed at breakfast, that he punched the kid in the face. They ran around the breakfast tables and Jonathan fell...

 

 

 

Oh my god...this kid slips, fall, and everyone proceeds to dump their yogurt on his head...

 

 

 

Greatest fight ever...next to the one where the two guys were grabbing for each others junk to try and sqeeze it...

 

 

 

Next to the time the kid hit a teacher...

 

 

 

God my school is [bleep] up...

 

 

 

 

 

The first thing is ****ing funny but true. I don't know whether to laugh at them or feel sorry for them.

 

 

 

The people in your school seem to have some stereotypes of their own. However, do they fit?

 

 

 

That fat white kid sounds like a world-class gooch. Hopefully, he learned to not act like an idiot after that little fiasco.

 

 

 

That second fight, though, it doesn't exactly sound like they're fighting. Are you SURE they were fighting? Because, let's be honest, if someone goes for someone's beanbag it's either 1) they want to remove them from the gene pool or 2) they want to know what the stuff on the inside tastes like. :?

[Furah]

A reasonable amount of retaliation in self-defense is ok, I think. The school I go to agrees, apparently.

 

 

 

And it is normal, but that is no reason to say that it's right.

 

 

 

Not the case at the last school I went to, if you threw a punch, or anybody said you did it was a 2 day OSS

[RichieMcD]

In my school if a fight was to occur it's whoever started it who faces the most crap, usually just ends in a shake hands and make up though.

 

 

 

Bullies are cowardly and sadistic people. I'm not up for starting random fights, I like to fight but wont start random ones but if I see a bully picking on an easy target I'll have no problem hitting the bully if I'm asked to help.

 

 

 

I always get an extremely happy feeling when I see a bully being beaten around by a helper or because he picked on the wrong kid :lol:

[Lenticular_J]

This guy I know always acts like an [wagon] to me. He says he's my friend, and he used to be (until he got sucked into being a [bleep]weed because of how cool he is now that he's in high school), but not even close any more. He always tries to starts fights with me, and says I've never even kissed a girl (because my longest and most recent bout of dating was two and half weeks, and only one date). You know how I piss him off even more? Staying quiet. Just say nothing, and they get freaked out. Not the stupid ignoring rule. Just look at him like "Is that all you got?", you know, with a sneer. But don't say anything. It scares just about everyone.

[ThurinEthir]

This guy I know always acts like an [wagon] to me. He says he's my friend, and he used to be (until he got sucked into being a [bleep]weed because of how cool he is now that he's in high school), but not even close any more. He always tries to starts fights with me, and says I've never even kissed a girl (because my longest and most recent bout of dating was two and half weeks, and only one date). You know how I piss him off even more? Staying quiet. Just say nothing, and they get freaked out. Not the stupid ignoring rule. Just look at him like "Is that all you got?", you know, with a sneer. But don't say anything. It scares just about everyone.

 

The easiest way to counter bullies is to ask "why?"

 

Not why so serious. You can ask that too. But really, why do bullies bully?

 

It's usually for attention. They're like trolls online. They want you to respond. Ignoring them often works.

 

Embarrassing them can work too, especially in front of their friends. I was walking down the hallway once and a group of "tough guys" were waiting against the wall, and as I passed, I noticed one of them stuck their foot out to trip me. I jumped over it, he was stunned, his friends laughed at him. Punching him wouldn't have been half as effective. ;)

 

Also, I've found that bullies tend to only target you when you're alone. Sticking with friends often works.

[FlameHawk18]

The more I read this the more I realize how similar this stuff is to my life. :|

 

 

 

I've only bullied this kid because he's annoying and acts like a 5 year old, and he like follows me and my group of friends everywhere. It's seriously gotten out of hand. One time we just sat at lunch, he comes along. Two of us move to another table to talk to someone else, and the kid picked up his tray and followed us. He always and says, "HEY, BEST BUDDIES!" Everyone hates him. I no longer call him names, I just ignore him. But some people have gotten out of hand with him.

 

 

 

And majority of the school is all gangsters and stuff, while the gifted program people are all like nothing like the rest, and get ridiculed a lot. I'm hispanic and I've been called white because I was listening to Avenged Sevenfold. I'm so sorry I don't like hearing about 20 year old men talking really fast about women and money.

 

 

 

There is this one kid, who says he's black and mexican. He's so freaking annoying, and thinks he is ghetto, gangsta, hood, etc. And he even made a rapper name for himself, "Purpul Ice". He just goes around acting all tough cusses at people randomly. If you retaliate, he threatens to kill you and your family. He's so annoying.

 

 

 

 

 

In my opinion, bullying is just stupid. There is no point in it other than to build up some fool's self-esteem. Also, if ridiculing others makes you feel high and mighty, that's just odd. :/ There are many other ways to do so, like get the Manager Job at McDonald's.