PlzPuddngPlz Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Try as I might, I couldn't find a topic on those random occurances in daily life that crack you up, so I decided to make my own! Anyways, here's mine: I was driving back from wingfest yesterday, and while stopped at an intersection, heard one person say to another person (both on bikes) "Don't go any faster! I'm reaching terminal velocity!" For those of us who arent physicists, terminal velocity is what is reached when an object cant go any faster. In essence, he was saying "Slow down! I can't go any faster! *NOTE* the occurances do not have to be today. Sig by me, in MS paint, but I'm still working on it. Suggestions appreciated This guide is as concise as a gourmet's handbook with the guidelines of "Pick up fork, stab food, insert into your mouth, then chew". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l0rd Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 This could just go under the "Today..." thread. viewtopic.php?f=10&t=755361 But I guess it wouldn't be the same if it was specified only on the humor, rather than the experience. OT: Today me and some buddies drove to a top of Mt. Pisgah and had grilled some lunch. After that on a hike we ran into some older-folk on an overlook. We decided to mess with them, and one of my friends picked up a flower and asked one of the older ladies what kind of flower it was. After he asked her, and while these old-folk were still there, we ran back all the way to our cars screaming. Not totally sure why, but it was lulzy. [iNSERT "I R EATIN TEH SHIX ATM" BILL COSBY SIGNATURE GIF HERE, LOL] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Does it have to be today? The other day, I was going to a concert with ym a friend, and we were early. I knew there was a a supermarket right beside the place that sold Fuze (don't drink that stuff. It gave me gas so horrible I was afraid to make too much noise while in the washroom, and that was while a metalcore band was playing, and that's just the gas). We walk around trying to find it, and there was a sane-looking 30 year old man with his upper body on a cart pushing himself around with his legs. Was worth the digestive problems. Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacheco Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Ok so today i went to the mall with a bunch of friends right? so then i went into the bathroom to do my bussiness... and there was only me and some guy in a stall doing his business... it was so quiet in there you could hear a pin drop, the only thing breaking the silence was him grunting and the occasional splash. so after i finished i let out this guttural roar/ battle cry and slammed against his stall door screaming like a banshee, and the guy literally [cabbage] his pants was freaking out trying to get his pants up and by the time he got out i was gone and outside of the bathrooms sitting on a bench looking innocent. when he came out side he had a look on his face like he just saw people die. yeah im a [bleep], yeah it was hilarious, yeah i have problems i got the idea from 4chan so dont be like " o y u lie" OMG OMG SAILING IS COMING LOLOLOLOL!!!1111 b/c JAGEX GAMES STUDIO , ANAGRAM OF SAITO JUDGE X-GAMES TAKASHI SAITO= RED SOX P1TCHER... RED SOX = BOSTON, BOSTON = PORT CITY!!!! PORT CITY = SAILING Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Today I was at my baby cousin's first birthday, and obviously being 14 there was really nothing for me to do, so I just walked around. After a while some kid who looked like he was about 10 stared at me, made a weird face, and screamed "NAZI!!!!" and ran away crying. :uhh: Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 STORY It's nice to gather the funny part of 4chan without having to go through the nasty. :lol: Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AceBeam Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 STORY It's nice to gather the funny part of 4chan without having to go through the nasty. :lol: So like... 4chan without 4chan? You monster...! Oh yeah, and I've thought of taking babies and throwing them. For funsies. - Lenticular J"Isn't it pathetic how everything in our society is built around someone screwing someone else out of their money?" - killerbeer0 on American SocietyRebdragon can't wiz a woz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouwzie Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Ok so today i went to the mall with a bunch of friends right? so then i went into the bathroom to do my bussiness... and there was only me and some guy in a stall doing his business... it was so quiet in there you could hear a pin drop, the only thing breaking the silence was him grunting and the occasional splash. so after i finished i let out this guttural roar/ battle cry and slammed against his stall door screaming like a banshee, and the guy literally [cabbage] his pants was freaking out trying to get his pants up and by the time he got out i was gone and outside of the bathrooms sitting on a bench looking innocent. when he came out side he had a look on his face like he just saw people die. yeah im a [bleep], yeah it was hilarious, yeah i have problems i got the idea from 4chan so dont be like " o y u lie" Read it before, but still :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbellz Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I was walking on the boardwalk down at the Oceanfront to see a Zac Brown concert, and as I'm walking with some friends this older man with roller skates, pads, and helmet comes to a pole near me and starts humping it, only to stop to start skating near me as I was walking for half a block. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlzPuddngPlz Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 Anyways, last year for our end-of-year french project, my class had to make and advertise a food product. Being myself, I made "radioactive mushroom cupcakes", or cupcakes with mushrooms in them. The day I was scheduled to present my project just happend to be a bake sale. That morning, I brough in my 20-odd cupcakes, and since I had french last period, put them in a fridge so the icing wouldn't melt. My mushroom-containing cupcakes ended up sold at a bake sale, and I had several people asking me what the chewy parts in my cupcakes were.... :P Sig by me, in MS paint, but I'm still working on it. Suggestions appreciated This guide is as concise as a gourmet's handbook with the guidelines of "Pick up fork, stab food, insert into your mouth, then chew". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizz Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I've seen a cat jump off a tree and land in the bushes. Mad me laugh. Wongton is better than me in anyway~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Is it considered random that I'm currently wearing headware that I just made out of two socks? Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skull Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Is it considered random that I'm currently wearing headware that I just made out of two socks? Depends, did you tie them together and put them on your head somehow or hang them off of your ears? [bleep] the law, they can eat my dick that's word to Pimp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walka92 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 one of my friends had her dA username posted on /b/ and within a few mins, her pageviews had doubled. she had been on dA for 7 months. doubled in 10 mins. i lold I'm gonna be walking down an alley in varrock, and walka is going to walk up to me in a trench coat and say "psst.. hey man, wanna buy some sara brew"walka92- retired with 99 in attack, strength, defence, health, magic, ranged, prayer and herblore and 137 combat. some day i may return to claim 138 combat, but alas, that time has not yet come Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I was waiting for the bus, and sitting next to me there was a man ripping pieces of his bus transfer and eating them, until the transfer was no more. Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert_Rdam Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Okay so this is something that happened to me last night. I was at a friends, and I was about to go home. So we were talking, and he farted, it was a really gnarly fart (sort of scary actually), next thing I know there's a cat falling out of a tree, hits a decorative bucket and runs away. First we were looking at eachother, then we just laughed for 10 minutes straight. It was funny. :D Credits to Skully Sc for the signature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kripsbmackin Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 well i was on xbox live at my friends house this kid i was playing with was 9...okay... but heres the weird part he was born after 2000, ive never talked to anyone else who can say that (No, i dont actually think I'm in the crips.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
How2PK Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I bought some asperin today. The woman asked me if I knew how to use it? I thought: yes, 10 at a time and stick 'm up my anus, right? But I just said: yes. But what a strange question to ask a grown up man: do you know how to use asperin? Hm. Signature by Maurice SendakWhen the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool, that's amore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wongtong Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 well i was on xbox live at my friends house this kid i was playing with was 9...okay... but heres the weird part he was born after 2000, ive never talked to anyone else who can say that So when was he born? 2001? :S 8,180WONGTONG IS THE BEST AND IS MORE SUPERIOR THAN ME#1 Wongtong stalker.Im looking for some No Limit soldiers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickeley102 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 My (last night's) taxi driver said that alot of people will kill themselves so they can die on the same day as MJ :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElkNight Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 My (last night's) taxi driver said that alot of people will kill themselves so they can die on the same day as MJ :? That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. 1000 times stupider if anyone actually does it. 8,180WONGTONG IS THE BEST AND IS MORE SUPERIOR THAN ME#1 Wongtong stalker.Im looking for some No Limit soldiers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiriyama Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 well i was on xbox live at my friends house this kid i was playing with was 9...okay... but heres the weird part he was born after 2000, ive never talked to anyone else who can say that So when was he born? 2001? :S Or he is an impossibility. Though really, it is only seen through stupid manipulations of timezones, meaning he would be born on both New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, if you get me. Denizen of Darkness| PSN= sworddude198 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skully Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 I've seen a cat jump off a tree and land in the bushes. Mad me laugh. Ok so that statement has me in fits right now, you have the same sense of humour as me and I love how blunt you put it. Theres a place quite closeby, 5 minutes in the car, it's like a big [wagon] park with a pub/restaraunt in it, so me and my family are sitting outside at one of the garden tables drinking, and closeby is a big fountain with goldfish in. I turn to it and see some little kid probably about 5, trying to catch the Goldfish by sucking the water (I guess he thought he'd get the Goldfish) with a straw from his drink. Probably doesn't sound that funny, but if you were there. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kripsbmackin Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 well i was on xbox live at my friends house this kid i was playing with was 9...okay... but heres the weird part he was born after 2000, ive never talked to anyone else who can say that So when was he born? 2001? :S 5/11/00 crazy shet (No, i dont actually think I'm in the crips.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maleficus1055 Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 well i was on xbox live at my friends house this kid i was playing with was 9...okay... but heres the weird part he was born after 2000, ive never talked to anyone else who can say that So when was he born? 2001? :S Or he is an impossibility. Though really, it is only seen through stupid manipulations of timezones, meaning he would be born on both New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, if you get me. My cousin was born in '92, and he is still 4. Figure it out, not too hard :P EDIT: Actually, im not too sure of the year he was born, coulda been '91. Either way, he's the same age. Tumblr. Follow me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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