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#1621
Estonian dude
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How the heck does your dad stop you from getting treatment? And by subjecting yourself to your father's intentions kinda makes you hypocritical, since in that case you have chosen to live under the influence of your father. And if you have graduated school aswell... Only way I could see your dad as a hindrance would be if you had absolutely no money at all, which is not an issue as you said a few posts ago. You are only limiting yourself by not getting professional help.
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#1622
Dizzle229
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How am I supposed to get treatment on my own? With what money? How would I even get there?

I'd need his money and transportation.

Edit: This is kind of getting derailed without a specific question to be answered. The original question was, what can I do with 2k? The answer was: Pretty much nothing.

I think that's about all there is to do here.
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#1623
Giordano
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With $2,000 you can't do nothing, more the reason why you should stay, get a job, and achieve something out of yourself. You're not out of high school yet, you're just nervous about "life beyond school". In the grand spectrum of you life, you haven't done anything yet. Why give up now?

Life isn't fair, it's a struggle. You must accept this reality and get at those chances to become happy and successful. You can't ever be happy if you give up now.
"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."
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#1624
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With $2,000 you can't do nothing, more the reason why you should stay, get a job, and achieve something out of yourself. You're not out of high school yet, you're just nervous about "life beyond school". In the grand spectrum of you life, you haven't done anything yet. Why give up now?

Life isn't fair, it's a struggle. You must accept this reality and get at those chances to become happy and successful. You can't ever be happy if you give up now.

The whole reason this is a problem for me is because I'm not compatible with reality. There's just nothing I want, and therefore no motivation. I have my own internal world, and to use it I need for everyone to piss off. Since that can't happen, I really don't see what I'm supposed to do.
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#1625
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With $2,000 you can't do nothing, more the reason why you should stay, get a job, and achieve something out of yourself. You're not out of high school yet, you're just nervous about "life beyond school". In the grand spectrum of you life, you haven't done anything yet. Why give up now?

Life isn't fair, it's a struggle. You must accept this reality and get at those chances to become happy and successful. You can't ever be happy if you give up now.

The whole reason this is a problem for me is because I'm not compatible with reality. There's just nothing I want, and therefore no motivation. I have my own internal world, and to use it I need for everyone to piss off. Since that can't happen, I really don't see what I'm supposed to do.

Work in the real world to sustain your internal world.

When off work, you can do whatever you please. As long as you got money flowing in and a roof over your head, you can fulfill any desires you want. It might hard to comprend, living your entire life so far under the authority of teachers and administrators, but after school...no one is the boss of you. Even your work boss isn't the boss of you; he's an ass? Get another job. The possibilities are endless, but you have to financially sustain yourself first. That's the struggle. Achieve that, then you can do whatever your heart desires. You just got to tough it out at first.
"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."
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#1626
iBe
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With $2,000 you can't do nothing, more the reason why you should stay, get a job, and achieve something out of yourself. You're not out of high school yet, you're just nervous about "life beyond school". In the grand spectrum of you life, you haven't done anything yet. Why give up now?

Life isn't fair, it's a struggle. You must accept this reality and get at those chances to become happy and successful. You can't ever be happy if you give up now.

The whole reason this is a problem for me is because I'm not compatible with reality. There's just nothing I want, and therefore no motivation. I have my own internal world, and to use it I need for everyone to piss off. Since that can't happen, I really don't see what I'm supposed to do.


Why is your only option to stay in your fantasy world? Surely there can be ways for you to interact in reality while having some time to blow off steam. Pick up a new hobby- jogging, cycling, swimming- and just go til you can't go any further. I'm not trying to sound like a huge jerk, just trying to help you think of ways to vent. Also, why do you refuse to take any medication?

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#1627
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First: You don't sound like a jerk at all. That goes for everyone. An answer I don't want to hear is still time you took to answer me. I think having people respond is the most help I can get out of all this.

The only thing I enjoy IRL usually means I have to deal with the police. It's nothing illegal or anything, just walking around at night. It's considered suspicious though, and I'm treated like I'm smuggling Hitler Meth or something. I don't want medication because I think of it as changing my personality to someone who will fall in line, rather than solving any problems. What is a personality besides chemical ratios in the brain?

What Giordano said is what I'd aim for, but I'd want to work off the books. I'd rather nothing be recorded so I never have to commit to anything.
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#1628
iBe
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First: You don't sound like a jerk at all. That goes for everyone. An answer I don't want to hear is still time you took to answer me. I think having people respond is the most help I can get out of all this.

The only thing I enjoy IRL usually means I have to deal with the police. It's nothing illegal or anything, just walking around at night. It's considered suspicious though, and I'm treated like I'm smuggling Hitler Meth or something. I don't want medication because I think of it as changing my personality to someone who will fall in line, rather than solving any problems. What is a personality besides chemical ratios in the brain?

What Giordano said is what I'd aim for, but I'd want to work off the books. I'd rather nothing be recorded so I never have to commit to anything.


Do you have any close friends online who you've tried talking to this about? I'd be happy to chat with you and try to help out over PM, but we just met so I doubt there's much I could do. The LAST thing I want anyone to resort to is self-harm and obviously suicide. I'm wiling to give out my cell number so you could text me any time you felt suicidal or just needed to talk to someone..
As for the walking around at night thing, have you actually ever had any trouble with law enforcement? Maybe if you stuck to a certain route each night it would seem a bit less suspicious.

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#1629
Estonian dude
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I'm afraid living off the record isn't possible in the US. Then again, with $2k you could fly somewhere, where you can live off the record. There aren't many places like that, and that comes with a HUGE risk.
And personally I have worked for 10 summers in multiple different places and I have never met a boss who has been a jerk.
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#1630
Low Levelled
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Lol, multiple different places :P

Professional help is the way to go, in my opinion at least.

#1631
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I know maybe it's too late for this, and it's not an immediate solution, but going away to college would probably help you. While you might not be able to get someone to pay for the treatment you need, they may be willing to pay for you to go to school, and most (larger schools at least) offer mental health services to their students for "free". Plus it gets you away from your current situation, although it certainly isn't an immediate solution.

A more immediate solution would be to just go check yourself into a hospital or clinic of some sort. I don't have sources for this, but I remember hearing something about free treatment being available to patients who may have suicidal tendencies if they can't afford it. It certainly could be worth a try if you feel that is what you need to do. Or, assuming you have health insurance, you could just give them that information and say [bleep] it to whatever consequences may arise with your family. The most important thing is that you get the help that you need.

Also, go for your walks if they help. What's the worst thing that could happen? So long as you aren't smuggling Hitler meth, you should be fine. Plus, if somehow you got arrested and convicted and sent to jail, inmates have access to mental health services as well.

It's a little late, so I hope this isn't shit advice. The most important thing is to try to take things as they come. Things will get better, even if they are shit now. Just take everything day by day and do what you can to get help for yourself.

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#1632
iBe
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I know maybe it's too late for this, and it's not an immediate solution, but going away to college would probably help you. While you might not be able to get someone to pay for the treatment you need, they may be willing to pay for you to go to school, and most (larger schools at least) offer mental health services to their students for "free". Plus it gets you away from your current situation, although it certainly isn't an immediate solution.

A more immediate solution would be to just go check yourself into a hospital or clinic of some sort. I don't have sources for this, but I remember hearing something about free treatment being available to patients who may have suicidal tendencies if they can't afford it. It certainly could be worth a try if you feel that is what you need to do. Or, assuming you have health insurance, you could just give them that information and say [bleep] it to whatever consequences may arise with your family. The most important thing is that you get the help that you need.

Also, go for your walks if they help. What's the worst thing that could happen? So long as you aren't smuggling Hitler meth, you should be fine. Plus, if somehow you got arrested and convicted and sent to jail, inmates have access to mental health services as well.

It's a little late, so I hope this isn't shit advice. The most important thing is to try to take things as they come. Things will get better, even if they are shit now. Just take everything day by day and do what you can to get help for yourself.


There are loads of suicide hotlines out there, good idea.

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#1633
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Tim have you gone to a doctor yet? I have type 1 and might be able to figure some stuff out for you, I forgot if you had done serious self-diagnostics besides comparing symptoms - but you could grab a blood sugar meter and some strips relatively cheaply and do your own testing for a week or so to see how that goes. At Wal-Mart you should be able to get their Reli-On brand meter for $16 and ~30 strips for $10 I think... Either way, a small quantity of strips and a cheap meter is all you need to be 'sure' besides just the symptoms. Test in the morning when you wake up, and two hours after you eat. They should be in the 80-100 range, and definitely below 200 (mg/dl, if you're in anywhere but the US it'll be mmol, so 4-6 and below 11).

Dizzle229 Presumably you have internet access and a phone. Look up a GP in your area, call them, see if they'll see you without insurance (honestly, you could just go straight to a counselor or something, you should be able to get them to see you). That way you avoid getting your dad involved, unless he has gotten you a copy of your insurance card. Otherwise you could possibly 'borrow' it and photocopy it or something and take it in. [You have money, get a cab or public transit or whatever] Other options include calling and asking about your options, I'm sure asking about where you can get free and confidential help on a suicide hotline would probably yield results. I did a google search and found http://www.suicidehotlines.com/newyork.html and http://www.preventsuicideny.org/Thinking_About_Suicide_.html that you should be able to find an applicable phone number on.

Honestly if I were you I would a) tell my dad to stfu and stop being an ass about it and let me go to a doctor and/or b) show him how serious I am about this. I have no idea how those would go over. If you have another relative who can back you up or that you can go through or can involve a local authority it might convince your dad to do something about it.

#1634
Dizzle229
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Thanks guys, seriously. I didn't think I'd be able to get help under the radar, but those are some decent options. Now it's just a matter of working up the nerve. Going to college just to get away might be a good idea if I can get him to pay for it, and it might help to have some structure again, especially if the scores themselves don't really matter to me.

Plus, if somehow you got arrested and convicted and sent to jail, inmates have access to mental health services as well.


Silver linings, huh? :razz:

Plus, the advice must be pretty sound if nine naked men made accounts just to agree with you.

Again, thanks everyone. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but I think I can do this.
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#1635
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Hey Drizzle: have you heard of the Icarus Project?

http://theicarusproject.net/

Consider checking it out for resources; they are especially good at offering ideas and structure for treatment that is not medication based. They have an in-person presence in New York if that helps.

#1636
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This is kind of an awkward thing for me to do... but i don't really have a friend i can talk to regarding this. I can't discuss this with my parents, and i don't feel like seeing a therapist again. So i figured that i might as well give it a shot here, and see if anyone might be able to give me some advice.

 

So to start off... I'm 23 years old. I live with my parents, i'm unemployed, i'm studying to become a pilot, and i have a girlfriend. But i have a really bad anger problem. I would consider myself to be a happy person. I don't really ever feel sad or depressed. I enjoy my life. I enjoy what i have, and who i have. I have a great girlfriend. We have our ups and downs, but that's to be expected. My relationship with my parents and sister is alright, i think. I don't really ever argue with them. I tend to avoid arguments and fights as much as i can, with people i know. I think i have a pretty good diet. I don't eat a lot of junk food, i drink maybe 1 can of soda a day, i sleep good enough. So i don't think any of that might be the cause of my anger.

I have extreme road rage. To the point where i'd put other's lives in danger to prove a point. I'll give an example:

 

A few days ago me and my girlfriend went out for drinks. On the way back home a cab driver cut me off. It happened so suddenly that i had to swerve out of the way while slamming on the breaks. I almost ran up the sidewalk. As soon as this happened all rationale left me, and all i saw was red. I put my foot down hard on the gas, caught up with the cab, pulled in front of him (going about 60kmph) and slammed on my breaks. I put the car in park, got out of my car and walked up to his door. I opened his door (and broke the door handle in the process), grabbed him by the scruff of his neck (or at least i think that's the correct term), and continued to yell at him. His passengers sat quietly in shock and awe in the back while i was basically man-handling the driver. I went back to my car, opened my trunk and took out my tire-iron (again, i think that's the right term). I walked back to his car and broke both sides of his headlights, put the tool back in my car and drove off. 
My girlfriend didn't say anything at first, but after about 5 minutes of silence she went off. And understandably so. Not only did i put out lives in danger, but also the lives of 4 other people in the taxi cab. And this all because i couldn't control my anger. We had a bit of an argument, which led to a fight, which led to things being said. All of which could have been avoided if i just ignored the cab driver cutting me off.

 

This is the first time it's been this bad, but similar things have happened. About twice a month i'll stop in the middle of the road to get out of my car and yell at someone cutting me off in traffic. Not very mature, but it's something i find extremely hard to control. I'm 6'1 and i weigh 140lbs, and i know it. I don't think i'm bigger than i am, and i know one of these days i'll follow my usual routine of yelling at a driver and he's going to be 6'5 300lbs and knock my face in. I kind of want to avoid that.

 

But this isn't the only problem. The problem is that i don't have a lot of patience. If my girlfriend asks me to go pick her up from work at 3pm and she's only in my car by 3:01pm, i get annoyed. It's only 1 minute, but i still lose my temper because of it.

 

As i mentioned earlier, i'm studying to become a pilot. I think in a plane is the only time i don't lose my temper, or i don't get annoyed. But the problem is that each day that goes by i lose more and more interest in actually being a pilot. I've been studying for 3 years now when i was meant to finish in a year and a half. Main reason for the delay has been procrastination. I want to give up and do something i really love but i have already invested 3 years of my life and over $80 000 US in this, so it's not an option for me anymore. I don't think that's the cause either.

 

I'm very frustrated at this though. I know this is going to be a big problem in my future, especially with me and my girlfriend. We have a lot of arguments. Small, but still a lot. It would often ruin the day/weekend, and it's all because i can't let go of the little things.

 

Like i said earlier, i consider myself to be very happy. I have everything and everyone in my life that i want and need (for now). My daily routine is a bit like this: I'll wake up at around 8am. I'll go on RS for a short while, then on YouTube. I'll go take a shower, get dressed, then start studying till i eventually had enough. Then it's back to YouTube or video games till i go to bed. This is my routine every day except on weekends where instead of video games i would see my girlfriend and/or friend.

 

Perhaps my anger and frustration comes from the fact that i don't feel productive? When i was in Florida, flying every day, i don't seem to remember having this issue. But in Florida life was also a lot different and i didn't have to deal with a lot of the things i have to deal with at home. I'm hoping that when i eventually start working, things will change. But i'm scared that they won't.

 

I'm tired... physically tired. I'm tired of getting upset/angry/moody/mad so easily. I'm tired of putting my own life at risk because of other drivers. I'm tired of arguments with my girlfriend, and i'm tired of her having to put up with it.

I want to stop. I want to stop getting mad.



#1637
muggiwhplar
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Anger's kind of a tricky thing to nail down so I'll just throw a bunch of stuff at you and see what sticks :D
 
A lot of anger is simply taking things too seriously and not being carefree enough... so when something undesirable happens to you, you get more pissed off than the average joe because you take it more seriously than the average joe. Read this and it'll resolve your "seriousness" issues. Probably my favorite book of all time. It'll make you carefree as [bleep] lol. but more importantly, that book will teach you how to quit worrying and how to quit making mountains out of molehills (in other words; how to not get road rage).

http://www.amazon.co...g/dp/0671035975
 
 
Also regarding seriousness, if you watch any TV or movies, watch as much comedy as possible. Spend as much time with your more carefree, funny friends as possible. When something "bad" happens to me, my first response is usually to laugh. I just imagine myself being on a sitcom, because if something bad happens to someone on a sitcom, it's funny or ironic. The reason why it's funny is because there's no ego involved. Quit taking yourself so seriously, detach yourself from the ego, and just laugh when bullshit happens in your life. if someone cuts me off in traffic, I usually just chuckle, shake my head, and I'm like, "man what an [wagon] lol." and then 2 seconds later I never think about it ever again.
 
 
You probably don't have a whole lot of excitement/meaning in your life right now, so instead of "good excitement" (taking risks, doing new things), you're getting "bad excitement" via anger/drama.
 
Similarly, you probably don't have any strong, specific, long-term goals in your life right now. You don't have any "bigger fish to fry" so it's easy for you to get pissed off over trivial shit. I just wrote a post about this to RPG here. You're in the cycle of getting stressed out, so you're more quick to anger and do stupid shit, which you'll then become more stressed about, etc. GO DEVELOP LONG-TERM GOALS.
 
If you're tired of having arguments with your girlfriend... then stop having arguments with your girlfriend. Though based on the tone of your post, I have a suspicion that you're the one starting the arguments.

 

You seem to have an extremely strong desire to be heard and to be in control. Considering it's nearly impossible to be heard by everyone (even the people whom you care the most about), and it's impossible to control everyone (trying to control other people will usually just result in the opposite happening), you should replace this desire with a desire for happiness instead. That means quit giving a shit about how other people behave. If other people disrespect you, then don't spend time with those people anymore. If a stranger disrespects you, why the [bleep] do you care so much about what a stranger thinks??? It's that simple. Raising your voice and making a scene in an attempt to be heard or control someone is only going to piss you off and stress you out further because you can't control your emotions.

 

So yeah. Read that book and read the post I wrote to RPG and go get your life some meaning :thumbup:


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#1638
nine naked men
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one day you're going to get angry at the wrong person and have something unpleasant happen to you and then maybe you'll reconsider??

in dealing w/road rage, you should probably learn some empathy. realise the person yr [bleep]ing over also has issues of their own, maybe moreso than you, and it might keep you from being a prick. just generally teach yourself to think before you do dumb shit. i'm sure there's books about that.
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