Real life help & advice

[Guest Rob]

Not sure on the second one, but I don't think sleep works that way. Sleep occurs in cycles, so by breaking a cycle you won't have a "normal" sleep. Since different things happen to you in different stages of sleep (resting, growing, dreaming and just being unconscious) how your sleep would be affected would depend on when in your cycle you woke up.

[Bonez899]

For the first one, and expanding on Rob if you nap for more than about a half hour (for most people) during the day6 you end up waking up drowsy and it would of been better not to. This is because the thirty minutes doesn't put you into a deeper cycle but recharges and refreshes. To sleep longer would be to put you into a cycle and waking in the middle of it will make the effects above felt.

Same with sleep, if you wake up in a dream you were in the deepest part of the sleep cycle. This is short to explain that waking up after that 7 will disturb your sleep and break the cycle, then when you go back to sleep for the hour it starts a new cycle not making it better. In an ideal world you would wake up at the end of a cycle causing you to be more alert and feel better rested, waking up in the middle of the cycle can cause effects similar to that from the nap.

 

For the second one, I would say that since Singapore is (far as I know) a rather dry place it is some sort of static electricity going off in the air because of the moisture from these appliances. Can't go much more in depth on that one but am almost sure that the part about the static electricity is right.

[Randox]

Also expanding on the sleep, my experiance is that ideally, you want to wake up out of anything except REM sleep. REM sleep still has your mind linked up to your unconscious, and you tend to be really drowzy and lazy. If your coming out of stage 2-4, its more of a 'bang! eyes open!' sort of deal, and you can just hop right out of bed. REM cycles get longer and more frequent as time goes on, but if you naturally wake up in a REM cycle (I think many people do), and your sleep schedule is pretty regular, try setting an alarm 15-25 minutes early, and see if that helps.

 

Or you could have someone try to startle you to walkfulness for the rest of your life (though you would really need to change things up to keep the effect going).

 

My guess on the popping is the severe expansion and contraction some of the parts go through as the heat pump cycles on and off. Mine does it too a bit, though it almost sounds like its the fluid inside making the noise. Anyway, I find mine likes to do it when the pump turns off (or when you shut it off), so my guess is its expanding pipes in the unit itself.

[Sorator]

I've heard that for napping, less than half an hour or right about an hour and a half is best, to wake either before entering REM or right at the end of your first REM cycle. An hour and a half works veeery well for me when I can fit it in, though that takes some work. If you have a smart phone, there's some apps made to help with lucid dreaming that can track your sleep cycles - might be worth a look if you want to do some research.

 

Edit@v: Whoops, dropped an important word there. Less than half an hour or right about an hour and a half. Napping for an hour is something I used to do, but after experimenting a bit I actually felt much better with just half an hour. Or, again, an hour and a half.

[Randox]

I've heard that for napping, less than an hour or right about an hour and a half is best, to wake either before entering REM or right at the end of your first REM cycle. An hour and a half works veeery well for me when I can fit it in, though that takes some work. If you have a smart phone, there's some apps made to help with lucid dreaming that can track your sleep cycles - might be worth a look if you want to do some research.

Huh, the norm I hear reccomended is 20 minutes, which should ensure you bail before you REM.

 

I figure a lot of it is personal experimentation too though. Everyone has their own cycle timings, and really, you just need to find something that works for you within your time constraints.

 

For me, if I can't get 2+ hours, I normally don't bother. Anything under 4 hours if I am really tired is also nightmare material.

[Piu]

I can't seem to find the guitar tabs for

song online, all I can find are chords.

 

Anyone know how I can find it? :(

[Bonez899]

This good enough? Your tab Or this one

[Piu]

Yes, thank you so much. :)

 

EDIT: Actually, not quite. The tabs you provided are more of the original soundtrack, I was looking for the acoustic version of it. :( Oh well.

[Maleficus1055]

Before I start: backstory.

 

Back in my Junior year of high school, I dated this girl for 8 months. She was my first serious relationship, and actually my first everything. Near the end, she started hanging out with my friend Cody a lot, and I thought nothing of it because he was one of my best friends. Then she started hanging out with him more than me ("because he lives closer") and texting him more than me, and I found out through another friend that she was cheating on me with him. I had a lot of trust issues after that.

 

Now today, I'm currently 7 months in to my relationship with my current girlfriend, my first since then (took about a year and a half for me to get another girlfriend). I have a lot of trust issues that I don't know how to get over. When a new guy friend was introduced into our friend group and they started clicking really well because they both loved k-pop, I got really worried that she was going to break up with me for him. It didn't help that she's asian and he's obsessed with asian girls. Since then, after talking to her about it, I've gotten over it.

 

But I feel like every time she brings up a guy, I get really scared. She was hanging out with her friends at home, which were 3 girls and one guy named Travis, and I still freaked out. Now most recently and why I'm posting this, she wants to go get lunch with her friend Ryan tomorrow. Ryan is her ex, but they only dated for like 2 weeks in middle school. I mean they never even kissed each other. But yet I'm freaking out about it because they both liked each other at one point. What if something happens? I trust her fully, but I don't trust any other guys, because if my best friend could backstab me, why can't a guy I don't even know?

 

I feel like sometimes she might break up with me because I get worried so much. I don't know how she can deal with it, and I don't really know how to get over my trust issues.

[obfuscator]

If you're having these thoughts, you have to cut the bs and admit that you don't trust her fully, for starters.

[Maleficus1055]

Okay, let's say I don't trust her then. Honestly, I feel like I do. I just can't trust other guys.

But how should I go about getting to trust her?

[Vezon Dash]

Okay, let's say I don't trust her then. Honestly, I feel like I do. I just can't trust other guys.

But how should I go about getting to trust her?

 

I think what you need to do is to tell her about what had happened previously and about how you feel. I know that past relationships is a topic that you generally want to avoid, but I feel that this is something that really needs to be addressed.

[obfuscator]

Okay, let's say I don't trust her then. Honestly, I feel like I do. I just can't trust other guys.

But how should I go about getting to trust her?

If you don't trust her, it doesn't matter what you feel like. It takes two to cheat - not trusting "other guys" is the same thing as not trusting her because she has to agree to anything to be cheating.

[Maleficus1055]

Okay, let's say I don't trust her then. Honestly, I feel like I do. I just can't trust other guys.

But how should I go about getting to trust her?

 

I think what you need to do is to tell her about what had happened previously and about how you feel. I know that past relationships is a topic that you generally want to avoid, but I feel that this is something that really needs to be addressed.

 

She knows about it entirely, we both know about each other's past relationships.

She understands why I feel the way I feel, but I can tell my constant worrying annoys her. And it's not like I can just restrict her to not going out and hanging out with friends because I don't want her to, that's a pretty sure way to get dumped.

[obfuscator]

Okay, let's say I don't trust her then. Honestly, I feel like I do. I just can't trust other guys.

But how should I go about getting to trust her?

 

I think what you need to do is to tell her about what had happened previously and about how you feel. I know that past relationships is a topic that you generally want to avoid, but I feel that this is something that really needs to be addressed.

 

She knows about it entirely, we both know about each other's past relationships.

She understands why I feel the way I feel, but I can tell my constant worrying annoys her. And it's not like I can just restrict her to not going out and hanging out with friends because I don't want her to, that's a pretty sure way to get dumped.

 

As it should. A relationship with no trust is a worthless one.

[Maleficus1055]

I just don't know how to overcome this trust problem. I mean every time she wants to go out, she always tells me first and tells me exactly what she's doing, yet I still worry and fret over it.

[obfuscator]

I just don't know how to overcome this trust problem. I mean every time she wants to go out, she always tells me first and tells me exactly what she's doing, yet I still worry and fret over it.

There's nothing much you can do, or at least no real advice I can give you other than to try to put it from your mind, and not bring it up with her. Eventually (hopefully) you'll grow to trust her completely.

[muggiwhplar]

*bites his tongue* :P

 

But I do agree with everything that y_guy said.

[obfuscator]

*bites his tongue* :P

 

But I do agree with everything that y_guy said.

Well in terms of your normal train of thought, I do agree that cheating is one thing you theoretically don't have to worry about because it should be impossible in a polyamorous "relationship".

[Randox]

Just to be clear, whether you trust your friends or not should be immaterial. Unless you suspect your friends are going to rape your girlfriend, you have no need to trust them. Just as with your ex, your girlfriend has a choice too. She would have to respond to their advances.

 

As for how to get over trust issues, that's a tricky one. I've never had this kind of trust issue, so I have no experiance I can apply to it. I can say that trust is a learned ability, not an inatte skill. I do have a quote for you though:

 

I can't tell you how many friends I've seen fly into jealous fits because their wife had gone out shopping 45 minutes ago, and it normally only takes her 43 minutes. They just know she's out [censored] someone else. Even after she returns with a car full of groceries and a timestamped receipt, they can just smell the extra [censored] on her.

I used to be like that. My ex used to work as a bartender at a shitty pub. Before heading out, she'd put on makeup ... which she never did when she was off. I'd look down at her low-cut top, and I was absolutely certain that before the end of the night, she'd be nailing some dude right there on top of the bar. Some nights, I'd make her change outfits.

It used to cause major arguments because my reaction was directly telling her, "I don't trust you." And I didn't. Even when I knew that the difference between $20 and $120 in tips was showing a little extra cleavage and that it was part of the job, in the same way that this job involves me talking a certain amount about my [censored].

 

 

 

 

Try This:

You're not born with the ability to trust -- as a newborn baby, you screamed your head off the moment Mom left the room, for fear you'd been abandoned. Trust is learned. I never had a reason to trust someone in my younger years, so my default position was to assume the worst. She's working late? Yeah, working some dude's [censored]! Going out to eat with friends? More like going out to eat with multiple [censored] slapping her [censored]! The other person's actual track record had nothing to do with it.

It wasn't until I met Emily that I really felt secure, and it goes back to that openness that I talked about earlier. When someone bares as much dirty laundry as we both have, you don't really feel that they have any room to hide anything. If she's shared this much of herself with me, she couldn't hide something even if she wanted to. So if she told me that she was going to take a few days to go to an undisclosed location for an unexplained reason, I'd be totally fine with it. She's earned the trust, and this time I'm man enough to give it.

And don't storm into the comments telling a story about how this one time your mistrust paid off ("She told me she had to be on the road 10 months out of the year as a door-to-door [censored] inspector, but I suspected she was really having an affair and I WAS RIGHT!"). I'm saying that if the mistrust is there, the relationship is [censored] either way. Either they're not trustworthy, or you're not secure enough to let your guard down even if they are.

 

I don't know if that will be of any help to you or not, but there is something else I want to point out. Well, two things.

 

First, whether you think you trust her is at this point also immaterial (though you either really don't, or you think your friends are out to rape her). All she is hearing from you on this matter is that you don't trust her.

 

Second, she must be really into you to put up with telling you every time she hangs out with any group that involves a guy. I'd also imagine that your quite correct that this annoys her. Probably way more than you know. I'd also guess that if you don't deal with this soonish, she isn't going to stick around no matter how much she loves you. Simply put, your relationship can't have a (functional) future until you both trust each other.

 

And for anyone interested, I pulled the quote from this article. I know its about marriage, but it actually servers as a really good yardstick for figuring out if your in a functional relationship, or just bullshitting yourself.

[Maleficus1055]

That actually does help put things in perspective. I pretty much have to bite my tongue until I learn to deal with it. I realize I'm being irrational, it's just setting aside my fears isn't so easy. But I do want this to last, so I'll work on it.

[Toki_Hakurei]

What should I watch out for when I arrive in California?

 

And in case you are reading this Maleficus1055, no I am not going to torment you when I get there.

[TTanT]

Cracked appears so regularly in Off-Topic it's frightening.

 

 

And I'm planning buying a new piece for my set of armor soon (I currently have chainmail and gauntlets).

Think I should go for shin protectors (greaves), foot armor (sabatons), or something else entirely?

[Distracted]

I can't seem to find the guitar tabs for

song online, all I can find are chords.

 

Anyone know how I can find it? :(

 

This is from like two pages back but he never had an answer. You've got the chords already, which is a huge step in being able to figure it out by ear. Besides, it's a video, so you can get an idea of how he places his fingers. So just grab your guitar and try and figure it out, you'll feel so much better when you've found it out yourself, plus you'll remember how it's played better. And if you feel like helping others, you can then tab it and put it online yourselves.

 

Also, Toki, where are you coming from? As in, are you travelling from elsewhere in the US or are you from a different country/continent altogether? I won't act like I know much about California myself, but that info is useful for people that would like to answer that question.

 

Also also, sabaton is foot armor? Now that I know the meaning behind the band name, they've lost a few awesome points in my eyes :razz:

[Bonez899]

TT, I'd say go for Greaves right now then see if you can get a helmet later on.

 

EDIT: I say this because Foot armour would be low on my list of things to get, ecspecially if I didn't have something on my legs to go with them.