Real life help & advice

[Hakaan]

I've been thinking recently... I didn't know where to put these thoughts so I thought why not on the RL advice thread.

Why should I eat if I'm just going to get hungry again?

Why should I wake up if I'm just going to have to sleep again?

Why should I talk to people if I'm going to eventually lose touch with them?

Why should I go to school if I'm going to forget most of what I learn anyways?

Why should I buy something new when it's just going to become outdated and worn?

Why should I live when I'm just going to die?

 

I had more, but I think you get the idea. Thoughts?

[The_Gabe]

I've been thinking recently... I didn't know where to put these thoughts so I thought why not on the RL advice thread.

Why should I eat if I'm just going to get hungry again?

Why should I wake up if I'm just going to have to sleep again?

Why should I talk to people if I'm going to eventually lose touch with them?

Why should I go to school if I'm going to forget most of what I learn anyways?

Why should I buy something new when it's just going to become outdated and worn?

Why should I live when I'm just going to die?

 

I had more, but I think you get the idea. Thoughts?

1) You'll die

2) You'll die

3) Not to be alone

4) Get a job

5) Because you'll never buy anything otherwise

6) I'm stumped on this one. I'm seeing a psychologist right now so I don't think it's within my rights to say anything.

[Kaida23]

It's a deep philosophical debate I've had with myself more than once throughout my life, mostly during bouts of depression as a teen. Questioning the very duality and contradictory nature of life makes me wonder why more people don't go completely insane. It's also made me wonder if we're actually all insane and the sane ones end up in the nut house because they can't cope with the reality of the world around them.

 

I never did come up with any good answers though, sorry.

 

You make a good point about school though. I have a job, and since leaving high school I don't think I've used any of the things I learned in my math, science, chemistry, physics, gym, music, drama, English, history or geography classes. Hell, I learned more practical skills in the Boy Scouts than in high school.

 

Outside of much needed social skills (without which I'm sure I'd have punched out, or been punched out by, more than one of my clients), what is the point of high school except to get a piece of paper that says you went there?

 

And Gabe, what's wrong with being alone?

[The_Gabe]

 

And Gabe, what's wrong with being alone?

 

I don't like it but I don't feel like I can trust others or others even care so I do feel alone and I don't like the feeling if that makes sense.

[muggiwhplar]

TL;DR: If you're not happy with your life, you're doing something wrong. Figure out what you're doing wrong, and do something about it.

 

Why should I eat if I'm just going to get hungry again?

 

Because it's bad for your health not to eat. Unhealthiness leads to unhappiness.

 

Why should I wake up if I'm just going to have to sleep again?

 

Because it's bad for your health not to sleep. Unhealthiness leads to unhappiness.

 

Why should I talk to people if I'm going to eventually lose touch with them?

 

Because positive social interactions make you happy, both in the short-term and long-term.

 

Why should I go to school if I'm going to forget most of what I learn anyways?

 

Everybody should keep studying/learning even after they graduate (or drop out) from school. I wrote about this in detail here.

 

Why should I buy something new when it's just going to become outdated and worn?

 

Only buy it if it's "worth it." In other words, if you need a car, then you're probably better off buying a shitty car that'll last you a few years than going a few years without a car. If you're talking about a new computer or something, then you can probably do without it. If you know it's going to be obsolete soon, then do some research such that you get the most bang for your buck.

 

Why should I live when I'm just going to die?

 

This isn't something that I can explain to you via words. It's an emotion you'll have to feel for yourself. Here's a quote from one of my favorite movies to give you an idea of what I'm talking about, though:

 

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."

[Tim]

TL;DR: If you're not happy with your life, you're doing something wrong. Figure out what you're doing wrong, and do something about it.

 

Gimme $10,000 as a start. :3

 

General query. Myself and others are 100% certain I have type 2 diabeetus. problem is I cant afford a doctor to get a 100% claification on that. I've made IMMENSE changes to my diet, cutting back eating, eating fruits, exercise (sorta) but nothing's happening. if anything I put on weight. I'm wondering from any other diabetics, what diet(s) should one focus on assuming I have got type 2 diabetes.

[Guest Rob]

Truthfully, I don't think anyone on this forum will be able to tell you anything you can't find with a quick google search.

 

From what I gather, you need to get a reasonable amount of lean protein. Beans, fish, eggs and nuts are all great sources of that. The websites I'm looking at suggest foods very similar to foods found in vegitarian diets, so it may be a good idea to look at vegitarian diet guides for ideas, and then compare/double-check them with/to the essential parts of a diabetic's diet.

 

I would be careful with fruits. I don't know what kind of sugars diabetics need to avoid, but some fruits are packed with natural sugar that could be dangerous. I can't find much about which fruits are good/bad for diabetics, but it may be worth looking into.

 

You're going to want to avoid/be careful with alcohol.

 

A vegitarian/pescitarian diet (staying away from starchy vegtables and excess carbs from grains, of course) could actually be great for you and since you wouldn't be doing it for ethical reasons, you could sneak in a little bit of meat here and there. You'll probably end up avoiding most meats (with the exception of fish and perhaps poultry) either way in order to maximize the amount of lean protein you can get. I'd try to stay away from soy-based products personally (they're thought to contain large amounts of estrogen and to be honest they don't taste anything like real meat) and try to eats lots of nuts and seeds.

 

If you don't mind boiled eggs, then they're great since they have nearly no carbs in them. Some diabetics avoid them because they're known to contain moderate amounts of cholesterol, however the websites I visited claim that cholestrol hasn't been linked to high blood pressure.

 

Also, this:

TL;DR: If you're not happy with your life, you're doing something wrong. Figure out what you're doing wrong, and do something about it.

 

Gimme $10,000 as a start. :3

 

General query. Myself and others are 100% certain I have type 2 diabeetus. problem is I cant afford a doctor to get a 100% claification on that. I've made IMMENSE changes to my diet, cutting back eating, eating fruits, exercise (sorta) but nothing's happening. if anything I put on weight. I'm wondering from any other diabetics, what diet(s) should one focus on assuming I have got type 2 diabetes.

No-one on here can tell you if you have diabetes or not. You need to see a doctor to get it professionally diagnosed first, otherwise you might have a wrong diagnosis and anything advised to you on here could potentially cause more harm than good.

 

I know you can't afford it right now, but I hope you're putting money away so that you can get it professionallly diagnosed ASAP. Making a few short term dietry changes probably (probably!) won't hurt anything but implementing unneeded long-term changes could just end up making you unhealty.

 

Why should I go to school if I'm going to forget most of what I learn anyways?

 

Everybody should keep studying/learning even after they graduate (or drop out) from school. I wrote about this in detail here.

 

In my opinion, it's also very important to make sure learning doesn't become a chore for you. Make sure you learn about things you're interested in (if you can use them in every day life, bonus) so that you don't have to force yourself to learn. Websites like cracked.com are great for this. Also, coursera.org is a website that lets you get a higher education for free in the form of 5-10 weeb programs offered by various universities. If there's a topic you're interested in, it could be worthwhile trying it out and could benefit you greatly.

 

If you're not interested in straight-up studying something online, then learning a new activity can still be a good idea. I learned how to do a Rubik's cube from online tutorials and it's a fun way to keep your mind occupied. Depending on what you learn, it could benefit you socially by giving you something in common with a few more people.

 

Why should I live when I'm just going to die?

 

Why should you ride a roller coaster when you're just going to get off of it when you're done? Why should you watch a movie when it will be over in two hours? Why should you read a book when the author is going to end it eventually? Because it provides you with entertainment, and so that in 50 years you're not saying "damn, I wish I did ______ when I had the chance". The question you're asking has been asked over and over again for centuries but there's no solid answer for it yet.

 

Even if you're not enjoying life right now, from what I remember, you're fairly young (does 15 or 16 sound about right?). I started asking myself what the point of life was when I was around 14 (I'm only 16 now) and at first I couldn't come up with a solid answer. I decided that the best answer I could come up with was "to make the world a better place and to enjoy it" and it's given me a set of long-term goals and a way to be comfortable with the fact that in 100 years, I probably won't exist anymore.

 

If you're religious/spirtual (which I know many on this forum aren't, but I don't know about you in particular) then you should be able to come up with a whole new set of reasons.

 

 

 

Why should I talk to people if I'm going to eventually lose touch with them?

 

Because positive social interactions make you happy, both in the short-term and long-term.

 

This, and because you need to learn social skills for later in life. You won't always lose touch with people quickly, either. I know quite a few seniors who still talk to/see people that they met in highschool. With relatively new inventions like the internet and cell phones, it's easier than ever to do this for our generation.

 

Either way, you're probably end up going to have a few long-term friendships. If you talk to someone then there's a chance that in twenty years you'll still be talking to them. Deciding not to talk to them because you might not be talking to them in 20 years only leaves you with one possibility.

[Ginger_Warrior]

TL;DR: If you're not happy with your life, you're doing something wrong. Figure out what you're doing wrong, and do something about it.

 

Gimme $10,000 as a start. :3

 

General query. Myself and others are 100% certain I have type 2 diabeetus. problem is I cant afford a doctor to get a 100% claification on that. I've made IMMENSE changes to my diet, cutting back eating, eating fruits, exercise (sorta) but nothing's happening. if anything I put on weight. I'm wondering from any other diabetics, what diet(s) should one focus on assuming I have got type 2 diabetes.

No-one on here can tell you if you have diabetes or not. You need to see a doctor to get it professionally diagnosed first, otherwise you might have a wrong diagnosis and anything advised to you on here could potentially cause more harm than good.

[Z_Berenice]

TL;DR: If you're not happy with your life, you're doing something wrong. Figure out what you're doing wrong, and do something about it.

 

Gimme $10,000 as a start. :3

 

General query. Myself and others are 100% certain I have type 2 diabeetus. problem is I cant afford a doctor to get a 100% claification on that. I've made IMMENSE changes to my diet, cutting back eating, eating fruits, exercise (sorta) but nothing's happening. if anything I put on weight. I'm wondering from any other diabetics, what diet(s) should one focus on assuming I have got type 2 diabetes.

DO NOT medicate, follow internet advice, book advice, etc... by yourself, if you suspect you have diabetes: go to an endocrinologist first and he/she will tell you what to do from now on.

Source? My mother and my sister are diabetic, my maternal grandmother and my parental grandfather died of diabetes, every single one of my aunts have diabetes. I can tell you that the only advice you should follow is to go visit an endocrinologist as soon as possible, he/she will tell you what to eat, diet varies a lot between people, you can't expect the same diet that works with x person, to work with you. All of my diabetic relatives have completely different diets, even the ones with the same type of diabetes.

[Tim]

I've been putting some away to go to the docs, so probably next week I'll have enough to visit.

[Kaida23]

That's good to hear, Tim. Your health is too important to not know for sure.

[Z_Berenice]

I've been putting some away to go to the docs, so probably next week I'll have enough to visit.

That's good to know. As for you gaining weight, diabetes is often very related to thyroids anomalies (hypo, hyper, etc.), so changing your diet drastically instead of gradually, is probably not a good idea, even if what you change it for is "healthier", chances are that you'll either gain weight in the case of wanting to lose it, or lose weight in the case of wanting to gain it, this is why is so important to visit an endocrinologist, he/she will most likely change your diet gradually and in the event of you having diabetes, that diet will have to go along with what I'm sure you're expecting, which is getting the insuline your body might not be making enough of.

[Piu]

Anyone know an app on the Android and iOS system that amplifies external sound?

 

Say a lecturer is speaking too softly and I can't hear, I launch the app and put on my earphones or let it playback on a soft volume but loud enough to hear from close proximity to the phone.

[MPM]

Piu, have you looked at this? https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.dsc.phscope

[Piu]

Hm, it's working, but the app is a little.. clunky. But it'll do for the mean time, if there's any other suggestions, it'll be nice. :D

[Dizzle229]

I'll be posting this in several places. I need suggestions, and I need them very soon.

 

In a few weeks I'll (possibly) be graduating High School. If I do, it buys me a little more time, but it may not make a difference.

 

To give you the most basic idea of how I feel, it seems consistent with Schizoid Personality Disorder. It has not been diagnosed and I cannot say with any kind of certainty that I have it, but it's the quickest way to describe it. If you click the link below, it shows a list of symptoms. Almost every single one applies. The rest of the page is just as accurate, but I'm trying to save time here.

 

http://en.wikipedia....logical_profile

 

The most relevant points from the list are these:

 

- afraid of intimacy

- engrossed in fantasy

- fluctuations between sharp contact with external reality and hyperreflectiveness about the self

 

As school draws to a close, that sharp contact with external reality becomes sharper, to the point where fantasy is no longer even accessible. My dad wants to take me to get my learner's permit, which I don't want to do, and definitely not with him. I'd need a job to survive, which would be impossible for me.

 

I'm kind of cornered now. Plan C is to kill myself, but I'm not sure if I'd be able to go through with it. I'm currently working on Plan A. I've made an appointment with my guidance counselor. I usually lie and say everything is fine (see point 1), but that won't be an option this time.

 

What should I say to him? How should I say it? I CANNOT talk to people other than smalltalk, even typing this on the internet feels wrong. I don't know what the hell he or anyone can do, but I'm only doing this out of desperation.

 

Edit: Was added as additional details in response to a post on Yahoo Answers, reposted here for info.

 

Absolutely will not talk to my dad. In fact, I'd rather keep all interaction with people professional. As in, I don't want to be on a first name basis. Also, I will not take medication.

 

I know I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too, but I'm already pretty sure Plan C is inevitable, I'm just trying to see if I can do better.

[muggiwhplar]

For starters, go read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.

[champion]

You just have to be completely honest and open with your counselor. It's already good that you recognize that this time you need to be truthful. Just straight up tell them the problems you're having, that you're suicidal, etc. They sincerely want to help you. If you're struggling with the mere ability to tell them your problems, I'd say just write it down on a piece of paper or something, and give it to them if the social pressure is too much.

 

I didn't know things were tough for you Dizzle, I hope you can find help. You've been around TIF for quite a while and we're here for you.

[Vezon Dash]

It might seem kind of stupid, but if you are friends with any kind of older people that you can trust (like a friend's parent or something) asking them for help and advice is always a good idea.

[Dizzle229]

If you're struggling with the mere ability to tell them your problems, I'd say just write it down on a piece of paper or something, and give it to them if the social pressure is too much.

This might help, thanks.

[baileydafrog]

when you're writing just dont stop, it can be easy to think you're writing too much but it's not a problem, the more you write and the more you get into it then odds are you'll notice things you hadnt before, ask them for a contact email too that you can mail them personally any time, it's not always the reply thats important, just the ability to say how you feel, the more you can be open about, the more weight off your shoulders. Eventually you can start challenging yourself bit by bit, but not until you feel ready, my gf went through similar things and now she's usually alright, she has bad days, but much better as a whole and far more confident

[TTanT]

^And remember that counselors generally choose their job because they want to try to help people and be there for people. They're not going to look at what you wrote and judge you based on how much you wrote or what you said, they're just going to be grateful you told them and want to help.

[Dizzle229]

Need some help again. I need to move out now or someone is going to die.

 

I have a little over $1200 in cash, maybe $2000 total counting what's in the bank (not sure what's in there). I live in New York. Is this enough for an apartment? It can be a crap apartment, I just need the absolute cheapest way to leave now. I also need to do it without a job. What are some ways of making money? Doesn't have to be much, just enough to keep paying the rent I guess.

 

I really cannot stay here. I tried to kill myself yesterday, didn't work, and now I'm pretty much screwed. I have no idea what I'm doing.

[champion]

New York City? I'm quite unfamiliar with apartment costs, especially on the other side of the country, but I can tell you that 1 to 2k probably isn't going to get you anything for any significant amount of time. You're also not really going to be able to maintain paying rent without a job unless you're about to get into serious illegal activity. Why wouldn't you be able to get a job?

 

All this is somewhat irrelevant however, because there's definitely underlying problems you need to take care of first. I'm not a therapist or a doctor, so don't take my advice 100%, but the fact that you tried to kill yourself makes me urge you to go to a hospital, a mental health facility, or a relative or a friend's house ASAP. You just need to go to a safe place so whatever threats you seem to be facing at home are taken care of. Did you ever talk to your school counselor? I remember you posting about that a month or two back.

[Dizzle229]

New York City? I'm quite unfamiliar with apartment costs, especially on the other side of the country, but I can tell you that 1 to 2k probably isn't going to get you anything for any significant amount of time. You're also not really going to be able to maintain paying rent without a job unless you're about to get into serious illegal activity. Why wouldn't you be able to get a job?

 

All this is somewhat irrelevant however, because there's definitely underlying problems you need to take care of first. I'm not a therapist or a doctor, so don't take my advice 100%, but the fact that you tried to kill yourself makes me urge you to go to a hospital, a mental health facility, or a relative or a friend's house ASAP. You just need to go to a safe place so whatever threats you seem to be facing at home are taken care of. Did you ever talk to your school counselor? I remember you posting about that a month or two back.

 

I'll try to be as concise as possible.

 

1. I don't feel most emotions. I want to, I want to have friends, but I just can't. Never met anyone I've liked anyway. Because of this, I have no reason to live.

2. Can't tolerate anyone (say, a boss) having control over me. I need full independence, which means never giving any information except anonymously, and never having someone in a position "above" me.

3. My guidance counselor was spectacularly useless.

4. Now that I've graduated and can't see him anymore, I have no way of getting professional help. My dad has control here (which is why I need to leave), so to get help, I'd have to go through him. He's super conservative, close-minded, and ignorant. The kind that tells someone with ADHD to just calm down. I will not talk to him, and in fact, some problems would be solved if he dropped dead.

 

I think the best way to sum up the conditions I'm trying to meet is like this.

 

From Wikipedia: "By the very meaning of the term, the schizoid is described as cut off from the world of outer reality in an emotional sense. All this libidinal desire and striving is directed inward toward internal objects and he lives an intense inner life often revealed in an astonishing wealth and richness of fantasy and imaginative life whenever that becomes accessible to observation. Though mostly his varied fantasy life is carried on in secret, hidden away."^[39] The schizoid person is so cut off from outer reality as to experience it as dangerous."

 

I just need to be alone in my own mind, and I can't do that with external reality constantly banging down my door.