Is it unhealthy

[Poopingman]

That I have no desire in women whatsoever anymore?

 

I've been in one relationship for 1.5 years and it ended in a very ugly way. I'm 23 and I now find myself totally impartial to the opposite sex. As I grow up I'm realizing that females never really change as much as I would have hoped for. As a teenager I shared a similar mindset with most of the guys on here did/do. We all hoped that girls would truly appreciate the attributes of a "nice guy" that they claim to crave; yet they were always with the guys that were tools. It is the biggest paradox of our time.

 

Well here I am ten years later and I can tell you that nothing has changed, at least not in today's society in the United States. I've spent the last year going out several times a week trying to become more socially apt. The more I learn the less I want to be a part of it. I see the [bleep] shield that most attractive girls put up and to me, they don't even exist anymore. It just isn't worth it to me anymore, I can't believe it but I'm become asexual in a sense. I still find the female body attractive and desirable, but in today's materialistic and vain society I can't help but feel that I'm the only one that is seeing this from my point of view. I go on dating websites from time to time and can see right through the fact that females still say they want one thing and want another.

 

I'm not whining or complaining because I'm single. I've been single for nearly two years now, and it has been a great learning experience. I've had opportunities that just fell flat because I no longer feel the need to have a significant other only to likely be hurt in the end. My relationships with my friends are the most valuable to me and I feel incredibly uncomfortable opening up to somebody like I did in the past. This is the opposite of the "Looking for a girlfriend" thread. This is for those of us who are frustrated with the corrupt mechanics of what you can barely call today's "chivalry". My friends berate me and call me the obvious, but I can't go against my feelings. I hope there are others on here who can relate.

[nine naked men]

No-o. I don't think that's unhealthy. You seem to be going perfectly fine as is.

 

But, if you do find someone you want to get to know better, don't pass it off on the grounds that you might get hurt in the end. ;o

[obfuscator]

I agree with you completely - a huge amount of girls/women are like that and it's annoying as [bleep].

 

But they aren't all like that - I've met a few who are different. So keep looking, be open minded, and don't let it stress you out :)

[Omar]

You're just scared you're going to get hurt. It's normal, being hurt sucks. The logical reaction to being hurt if you touch a lightbulb is learning to not touch it again. However, there's more to relationships than getting hurt.

1) Being in the relationship, while it lasts, is chill. Sexually and emotionally, hopefully.

2) If the relationship lasts forever, that's fun too.

3) You don't have to get dumped every time. See, if you become a badass, no one will want to break up with you.

 

So you're on the right path. Keep improving yourself. Become Mr. Right; if that's not a healthy thing to do, then I don't know what is.

[Lenticular_J]

I thought I was sort of similar. Then I realized I was just making excuses, even if they are good ones. That's why I'm considering pursuing a relationship with a girl who's in a very similar situation. Maybe we could fix it together. And if not, it'll be a fun ride.

[RpgGamer]

I agree that the dating world is an atrocity, but my fear of ending up alone is strong enough that it motivates me through all of the crap.

[Giordano]

The thing with dating, is that you don't really need it. Does it make a difference if you're single or not? Besides the fun, not really. I don't worry about having a relationship (not anymore at least) I've met plenty of nice girls by chance alone. Its true I never officially had a girlfriend or gotten laid, but really who cares right? I'm not a pysco because of it and if others want to pursue girls then whatever, don't expect me to join unless I feel like it.

 

Kinda confusing since I'm trying to say something that's not even clear in my mind but I think its an ok explaination.

[Iamdan]

That I have no desire in women whatsoever anymore?

 

I've been in one relationship for 1.5 years and it ended in a very ugly way. I'm 23 and I now find myself totally impartial to the opposite sex. As I grow up I'm realizing that females never really change as much as I would have hoped for.

 

You can't have been in very many relationships. Sometimes you need to go through a lot of people before you can find one you can stand.

 

 

As a teenager I shared a similar mindset with most of the guys on here did/do. We all hoped that girls would truly appreciate the attributes of a "nice guy" that they claim to crave; yet they were always with the guys that were tools. It is the biggest paradox of our time.

 

Girls do like nice guys, they just don't like the male interpretation of 'nice guy.'

 

They don't want you to put them on a pedestal, buy them things, suck up to them, eliminate conflict and just generally be a [kitty]. They already have one of those.

 

I've been there, I'm sure most guys have been there. You can change the way you present yourself, and 'be your best self' instead of just 'being yourself'

 

I see the [bleep] shield that most attractive girls put up and to me, they don't even exist anymore. It just isn't worth it to me anymore, I can't believe it but I'm become asexual in a sense. I still find the female body attractive and desirable, but in today's materialistic and vain society I can't help but feel that I'm the only one that is seeing this from my point of view. I go on dating websites from time to time and can see right through the fact that females still say they want one thing and want another.

 

Imagine yourself in this scenario. You're a hot girl. You can't go anywhere without dorky guys drooling over you and hitting on you. It's flattering in a way, but it's also [bleep]ing annoying. You don't have time to date them all, you need a way of checking their suitability in stages. You knock back 90% in the first 10 seconds, then slowly disqualify them as time goes on.

 

Unfair? Sure, but what else is she supposed to do? You have to wade through the crap for a while before you can find someone you can be with.

 

It's like applying for a job. Send in a bad looking resume, it gets thrown out before they even read it. The same thing happens if you approach her wearing the same thing every other dorky guy wears, have nervous body language and then ask her to buy her a drink. (ps, buying a girl a drink is code for "I'm not worth your time, so I'm trying to buy a couple minutes with you via $5)

 

That's what the [bleep] shield, and lots of other stuff like that is for. You don't have to like it, but use it as an excuse to avoid them and your genes get unsympathetically removed from existence. It's nobodies problem but your own, and only you can do something about it.

 

Evolution is about survival of the fittest, not survival of the guy-who-won't-be-a-man.

 

Keep using your excuses if you must, but I guarantee you that you're wrong. There are plenty of girls you would be perfect with, you just have to find them.

[GottaGetDownOnfriday]

When I visited London last summer, I felt more of a relationship with this girl I met after 5 minutes then my ex whom I dated for 3 years. I am not dissing American women, but I see what you mean by our [man] mindset.

[Seraphi]

Asexuality isn't common, but it can't be described as unhealthy.

 

Sometimes you end up that way because of events in your life, sometimes it's just natural, but it doesn't really impact you socially in any major way.

[Range_This11]

You're 23, not 43. Settle down.

[Maze]

You probably shouldn't take advice from me, but I wouldn't worry about it. I'm the same way.

 

Yes, I am the nice guy, and I get [bleep]ed over a lot because the girl likes the guy who looks handsome but is really a complete tool.

 

I just say to myself, "You know what? I'll just be single and wait for a gal to come along who likes me for who I am." That's that.

[rangeor]

I'm not going to say that's a bad plan, Maze, but you'll probably be waiting a long time.

[Romy]

Post of the year:

That I have no desire in women whatsoever anymore?

 

I've been in one relationship for 1.5 years and it ended in a very ugly way. I'm 23 and I now find myself totally impartial to the opposite sex. As I grow up I'm realizing that females never really change as much as I would have hoped for.

 

You can't have been in very many relationships. Sometimes you need to go through a lot of people before you can find one you can stand.

 

 

As a teenager I shared a similar mindset with most of the guys on here did/do. We all hoped that girls would truly appreciate the attributes of a "nice guy" that they claim to crave; yet they were always with the guys that were tools. It is the biggest paradox of our time.

 

Girls do like nice guys, they just don't like the male interpretation of 'nice guy.'

 

They don't want you to put them on a pedestal, buy them things, suck up to them, eliminate conflict and just generally be a [kitty]. They already have one of those.

 

I've been there, I'm sure most guys have been there. You can change the way you present yourself, and 'be your best self' instead of just 'being yourself'

 

I see the [bleep] shield that most attractive girls put up and to me, they don't even exist anymore. It just isn't worth it to me anymore, I can't believe it but I'm become asexual in a sense. I still find the female body attractive and desirable, but in today's materialistic and vain society I can't help but feel that I'm the only one that is seeing this from my point of view. I go on dating websites from time to time and can see right through the fact that females still say they want one thing and want another.

 

Imagine yourself in this scenario. You're a hot girl. You can't go anywhere without dorky guys drooling over you and hitting on you. It's flattering in a way, but it's also [bleep]ing annoying. You don't have time to date them all, you need a way of checking their suitability in stages. You knock back 90% in the first 10 seconds, then slowly disqualify them as time goes on.

 

Unfair? Sure, but what else is she supposed to do? You have to wade through the crap for a while before you can find someone you can be with.

 

It's like applying for a job. Send in a bad looking resume, it gets thrown out before they even read it. The same thing happens if you approach her wearing the same thing every other dorky guy wears, have nervous body language and then ask her to buy her a drink. (ps, buying a girl a drink is code for "I'm not worth your time, so I'm trying to buy a couple minutes with you via $5)

 

That's what the [bleep] shield, and lots of other stuff like that is for. You don't have to like it, but use it as an excuse to avoid them and your genes get unsympathetically removed from existence. It's nobodies problem but your own, and only you can do something about it.

 

Evolution is about survival of the fittest, not survival of the guy-who-won't-be-a-man.

 

Keep using your excuses if you must, but I guarantee you that you're wrong. There are plenty of girls you would be perfect with, you just have to find them.

 

 

 

Quote of the year:

Girls do like nice guys, they just don't like the male interpretation of 'nice guy.'

 

They don't want you to put them on a pedestal, buy them things, suck up to them, eliminate conflict and just generally be a [kitty]. They already have one of those.

 

 

I applaud you dear sir. =D>

[Omar]

I just say to myself, "You know what? I'll just be single and wait for a gal to come along who likes me for who I am." That's that.

 

You're looking over a detail. Being a girl's version of a nice guy is a hell of a lot more fun than being the guy's version of a nice guy. And I don't mean in relationships alone. I mean in every type of social interaction. Being confident feels good man.

[Wouter828]

It sure as hell ain't the way it should be. You make it sound like you've gone celibate.

 

Good luck finding that girl, or guy for that matter, that's going to make it all work again.

[meol]

Asexuality isn't unhealthy as a sexual orientation, but it can't be very healthy if it's a traumatic reaction like you make it sound. You really shouldn't close yourself because of bad experiences; it sounds to me you might be looking in the wrong places.

[Flyingjj]

It doesn't particularly sound to me like you're describing asexuality, more like you don't have an interest in dating girls(or boys), two things which are completely separate. Asexuality is a sexual orientation (or lack of one). What you seem to be describing is a lack of romantic interest in women. You said yourself that you still see women as attractive and desirable, presumably at some level sexually, indicating that you aren't asexual.

 

Gosh darn it all to heck, Dan, I hate it when you're right, I just wish you would say it in a nicer/more helpful way sometime. By that I mean, couldn't you find a way to say what you want to say without insulting the person you're giving advice to by calling them (even indirectly) a [kitty]? Also, as a side note, I disapprove of the use of derogatory terms that are sexist or discriminatory in nature. Just sayin'.

[Dexek]

It sounds unhealthy to me... Sounds like you need to stop taking peoples [cabbage] and start handing some out Poopingman style...

 

Wow, sorry about the pun, I scrolled up to insert your name into the sentence and well... I definitely couldn't delete my sentence on account of it.

[Iamdan]

Gosh darn it all to heck, Dan, I hate it when you're right, I just wish you would say it in a nicer/more helpful way sometime. By that I mean, couldn't you find a way to say what you want to say without insulting the person you're giving advice to by calling them (even indirectly) a [kitty]? Also, as a side note, I disapprove of the use of derogatory terms that are sexist or discriminatory in nature. Just sayin'.

 

ily too, call me :)

 

It's how I'd prefer it to be explained to me, feeling sorry for someone gives them a chance for self pity. This guy needs to take action.

[Myweponsg00d]

I think if you find a man who says he loves a woman enough to spend his life with her he is either:

1.) Lying to you

2.) Lying to himself

3.) Unable to see how much of a [bleep] she is

 

Moral of the story: all men will be bored of their wives. It sounds cold, but I honestly think its true. When you hear a man complain about his wife, its always about specific stupid stuff she does. When women complain about the husband, usually it boils down to "He doesn't love me"

 

Probably cause he doesnt. I have looked at the life of all my uncles, my grandfathers, etc and have basically realised that when you are a married man, your life is just about making sure you don't tick off your wife so that she will leave you the hell alone while you try to build your train set, work on the car, paint the house, or whatever hobby you take up to occupy all that time you have until sweet death comes your way.

[obfuscator]

I think if you find a man who says he loves a woman enough to spend his life with her he is either:

1.) Lying to you

2.) Lying to himself

3.) Unable to see how much of a [bleep] she is

 

Moral of the story: all men will be bored of their wives. It sounds cold, but I honestly think its true. When you hear a man complain about his wife, its always about specific stupid stuff she does. When women complain about the husband, usually it boils down to "He doesn't love me"

 

Probably cause he doesnt. I have looked at the life of all my uncles, my grandfathers, etc and have basically realised that when you are a married man, your life is just about making sure you don't tick off your wife so that she will leave you the hell alone while you try to build your train set, work on the car, paint the house, or whatever hobby you take up to occupy all that time you have until sweet death comes your way.

Speak for yourself. This is utter crap. Not all men are incapable of love.

[Flyingjj]

I think if you find a man who says he loves a woman enough to spend his life with her he is either:

1.) Lying to you

2.) Lying to himself

3.) Unable to see how much of a [bleep] she is

 

Moral of the story: all men will be bored of their wives. It sounds cold, but I honestly think its true. When you hear a man complain about his wife, its always about specific stupid stuff she does. When women complain about the husband, usually it boils down to "He doesn't love me"

 

Probably cause he doesnt. I have looked at the life of all my uncles, my grandfathers, etc and have basically realised that when you are a married man, your life is just about making sure you don't tick off your wife so that she will leave you the hell alone while you try to build your train set, work on the car, paint the house, or whatever hobby you take up to occupy all that time you have until sweet death comes your way.

You's better be trollin'

[Ss_J9_Goten]

Eh, I think the man has a point.

[Iamdan]

Eh, I think the man has a point.