It's like the "fired" thread, with a few twists. The person above you did a good job, so you should promote them.

Tell then what they did, where they work, and what their new role/responsibilities are.

 

You're promoted at the sink factory for building a better drain. Your new job is to build bath tubs.

You're promoted at the posting department for making an example. Your new job is to troll in Off Topic.

You're promoted at the animal factory for figuring out where the platypus came from. Your new job is to develop a working griffon.

 

Is this thread a ripoff? I prefer to think of it as an homage.

Promoted for this wonderful idea. Now you work at helping me be more ruthless and condescending.

Ignore this post. It was accidental.

Ignore this post. It was accidental.

 

Due to your expertise, you've been promoted to the Double Post Oversight Committee. Your new job is to ensure things like this never happen again on penalty of death.

Promoted for referencing the best webcomic ever in your sig. Your new job is to not post what I was going to post seconds before I do.

You're promoted at the police department for stopping the most dangerous criminals. Your new job is now to work for the military and stop terrorists.

You're promoted at the Post Masters Club for making an excellent example post on how this game is played. Your new job is to operate as a board moderator on some remote Icelandic forum that almost nobody goes to. Good luck with that one. :geek:

 

~D. V. "I could finally use your location to a positive advantage..." Devnull

You're promoted at the white house for showing such support to the president of the United States. You're now the vice president.

 

Sorry, Joe Biden, looks like you need another job.

You're promoted into a journalistic position for being able to spin a convincing yarn.

You're promoted in your skills of forum sewing. Now you make sweaters for in-coming members to the community. And they will be ugly.

You have been promoted to the "Desperately-Trying-to-sell-this" department, whose duty is to try and sell off the said sweaters

You're promoted to the second floor because the boss trusts you a lot.

 

Now you can never see friends and family again.

You've been promoted to General-Overseer-Of-This-Factory in Antarctica. Now enjoy freezing to death.

You have been Promoted to "Governor of Mars"

 

Good luck trying to 1) get there and 2) survive.

You're promoted to the head of the space program, and are now tasked with ensuring that he does. But hey, the pay is nice.

You're promoted for building a better mousetrap. Your next job is to build a better mouse.

 

Also please fill in this survey on job satisfaction.

Dear Saradomin_Mage,

 

Congratulations! You've been promoted to CEO of the Varrock Museum for making it like your home. You're now in charge of rearranging the whole museum, by yourself, for minimum wage of 5gp a day!

You get a mercy promotion for being a newcomer. Your job is to learn the ways of FG gangster life.

 

You are my personal thugstar, for I am the Don.

You're promoted to a bigger crime organization for making the cops look like fools.

Your new job is to steal from the world's most secure museum.

You're promoted to plant. Your new job is to photosynthesize.

You're promoted to alien. Your new job is to not breathe our oxygen.

You're promoted from Star. to Star!. Your new job is to be excited about things.

You're promoted rom Lesser to Greater... Try not to lose your rune helms.

You're promoted from fatal to genocidal. Your new job is to be threatening but never used in war.

Fatal is promoted to Fatal Final :P