issy2

First class for originality. I love the way you use RS themes in such a natural, carefree way. It makes your story seem effortless. And the way you listed those names at the beginning! Wow, great choices, it really set the scene. The jump from being in the wilderness to the blurite dungeon was really smooth. And your description is so fantastic. I mean, you make it like I haven't read this a thousand times before. Nice! :)

Well I cycle 5 miles a day to school pretty fast. Tuesday - badminton, 45 mins. Wednesday - PE (circuit training, usually, about 20 mins if it is, if not, then 40 mins of something else). Then 1 1/2 hours of cricket after school Thursday - PE (basketball) Friday - some kind of sport for 2 hours. rowing, netball, or whatever Saturday - 1hour dancing Sunday - 1 hour iceskating :wink:

Packet of Nuts- Warning, contains nuts. (on the same packet, under 'Allergy Advice') Do not take if allergic to nuts.

Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay happy king, smiling queen remnents of a long lost dream a hope that fades like a flame in a fire as your imagination begins to tire As you feel, soon the dream will end. As your creativity is about to bend, With a lot of luck, and pixie dust. If one doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work the other must Where dreams, are reality And reality, a dream Where all you need is vitality Just you, any your team Laughing face crying eye Waving hand as we say goodbye With fire in my blood and a song in my heart The dreamers, we're off, for a clean new start. This fantasy realm, of elves and dwarves Take away your breath, making a small pause. This is the way you see my lad, To keep your heart away from the bad. The elves they float on enchanted ground Graceful and beautiful - it's magic they've found Cunning and deceitful though they know what is right, Golden blonde hair, it shines in the light. the dwarves they are short, they are stout, they are bauld. well kept caves, away from the cold. sharp battle axes, and tempers short a trusty friend, and one very well tought. The unicorns, the nympths, of shimmering thought, The knights, the fights, of the royal court, A merchant's bargain sold at last resort, Every colour, every shape,our imagination sought. But, as adults we all know, its only our thoughts keeping them their, whilst our dear children, stop and then stare. They are to be children, in this humble land. What is better, they get to play in the sand. The waves rise. Like the sun. Across the horizen. The fiend stares across. Humbug. His eyes despisen. Bah. No one notices. This time for enjoyment, will not wilt. As they play. The way childern do. You pull up the quilt. He starts to hunger, forever more. his bin, with only an apple core. His stomach growls, as he waits for his pray and he pokes at his fireplace, made of clay. A snap. A crack. An animal in the traps. Soon eaten. Tied in wraps. all the while, innocents play on the beach. whilst the daemon prepares his leech. he plans and schemes to murder the all, yet, he is near his downfall. a battle begins on a blanket of snow purity, virtue and innocence go to fight for the freedom of a long lost soul whilst the winds of change take their tole As time moves on. So must we all. Death glance upon. Like statues, tall. We get closer to it. Each passing breath. Advancing until. There is nothing left. death, something we can't attempt to deny death, something we'll never defy somehow closer to our hearts than life oh how human minds are consumed by strife Life of pure. Life of dark. Life of a kind, found in a park. Love keeps it warm. Hate keeps it torn. So when your mum wants a hug When your baby sister's scared of the bugs, Or even when your tore your dad's favourite rug I hope you can only find... love. That love of bold. The hate of cold. Spread the love. Like a fire doth. 'I love you,' are words we hear Alot, and to my heart is near, The warmth when you hold me tight in your arms, I'm safe, I'm glad, I'm away from all harm Then again, you pull away. As our live, does being to fray. A shout here. A shout there. And suddenly our love lies thread-bare. but deep down, we still care, and when we see them, we stop and stare. they have moved on, breaking your heart. leaving you in despair You opened your heart. To love and care. Chilled winds whip. Though this once safe lair. Like a sword. It dashes you to pieces. While he runs free. Free to keep its leases. Yet you still walk on. In this world of hate Brittle Piece of Bone. All alone. Trying to Find. Never Know Love drives you on. Hollow though And it continues on. Worse than any blow I live this heart of hearts. I pull the cart of carts. For I am in love. I'l give hate the shove. Ben and Jerry's Perferably cherry Fully mending my heart would be a dream Since i'm patching it up with cherry ice cream haagen daz is my pleasure ben&jerry's is my poison but thats just my view I won't force it on you Ben and Jerry's fill my tum And hear me whisper yummy yum The bowl is empty, the spoon is heaped And towards my mouth it leaps...YUM! But for each a time. And a time a place. Like this rhyme. We dive and chase. And while we search we find some fun A childish play, our happiness done. Chattering about icecream, how did we get there? When once we wept for fantasy and dreams.

strawberries and wet dogs, just - mhhmmm. Not together, I hasten to add!

Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay happy king, smiling queen remnents of a long lost dream a hope that fades like a flame in a fire as your imagination begins to tire As you feel, soon the dream will end. As your creativity is about to bend, With a lot of luck, and pixie dust. If one doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work the other must Where dreams, are reality And reality, a dream Where all you need is vitality Just you, any your team Laughing face crying eye Waving hand as we say goodbye With fire in my blood and a song in my heart The dreamers, we're off, for a clean new start. This fantasy realm, of elves and dwarves Take away your breath, making a small pause. This is the way you see my lad, To keep your heart away from the bad. The elves they float on enchanted ground Graceful and beautiful - it's magic they've found Cunning and deceitful though they know what is right, Golden blonde hair, it shines in the light. the dwarves they are short, they are stout, they are bauld. well kept caves, away from the cold. sharp battle axes, and tempers short a trusty friend, and one very well tought. The unicorns, the nympths, of shimmering thought, The knights, the fights, of the royal court, A merchant's bargain sold at last resort, Every colour, every shape,our imagination sought. But, as adults we all know, its only our thoughts keeping them their, whilst our dear children, stop and then stare. They are to be children, in this humble land. What is better, they get to play in the sand. The waves rise. Like the sun. Across the horizen. The fiend stares across. Humbug. His eyes despisen. Bah. No one notices. This time for enjoyment, will not wilt. As they play. The way childern do. You pull up the quilt. He starts to hunger, forever more. his bin, with only an apple core. His stomach growls, as he waits for his pray and he pokes at his fireplace, made of clay. A snap. A crack. An animal in the traps. Soon eaten. Tied in wraps. all the while, innocents play on the beach. whilst the daemon prepares his leech. he plans and schemes to murder the all, yet, he is near his downfall. a battle begins on a blanket of snow purity, virtue and innocence go to fight for the freedom of a long lost soul whilst the winds of change take their tole As time moves on. So must we all. Death glance upon. Like statues, tall. We get closer to it. Each passing breath. Advancing until. There is nothing left. death, something we can't attempt to deny death, something we'll never defy somehow closer to our hearts than life oh how human minds are consumed by strife Life of pure. Life of dark. Life of a kind, found in a park. Love keeps it warm. Hate keeps it torn. So when your mum wants a hug When your baby sister's scared of the bugs, Or even when your tore your dad's favourite rug I hope you can only find... love. That love of bold. The hate of cold. Spread the love. Like a fire doth. 'I love you,' are words we hear Alot, and to my heart is near, The warmth when you hold me tight in your arms, I'm safe, I'm glad, I'm away from all harm Then again, you pull away. As our live, does being to fray. A shout here. A shout there. And suddenly our love lies thread-bare. but deep down, we still care, and when we see them, we stop and stare. they have moved on, breaking your heart. leaving you in despair You opened your heart. To love and care. Chilled winds whip. Though this once safe lair. Like a sword. It dashes you to pieces. While he runs free. Free to keep its leases. Yet you still walk on. In this world of hate Brittle Piece of Bone. All alone. Trying to Find. Never Know Love drives you on. Hollow though And it continues on. Worse than any blow I live this heart of hearts. I pull the cart of carts. For I am in love. I'l give hate the shove. Ben and Jerry's Perferably cherry Fully mending my heart would be a dream Since i'm patching it up with cherry ice cream haagen daz is my pleasure ben&jerry's is my poison but thats just my view I won't force it on you Ben and Jerry's fill my tum And hear me whisper yummy yum The bowl is empty, the spoon is heaped And towards my mouth it leaps...YUM!

bumpety bump! :thumbsup:

It's a fun story to read, I definitely enjoyed it! However there's a few bits that you might want to edit, change some words etc. The beginning was great, maybe add some more commas in that first paragraph to make it easier to read. Try to use the phrase 'rotten cabbage' a bit less, you've got alot of alternatives, use your imagination :wink: And maybe try to get across Faven's anger a bit more, it's not so clear (ok it's clear, but, meh, you don't really... feel it) On the whole i think it's great, just needs a bit of editing.

Darn, can't get the image to work... I was roughly about 3 squares to the right of the guy furthest on the left, I can't remember his name... was it Ghandi...?

Actually, I never blocked you. :wink: And whoa this poem is getting.. gloomy? Epic? Gr can't think of the right word... Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay happy king, smiling queen remnents of a long lost dream a hope that fades like a flame in a fire as your imagination begins to tire As you feel, soon the dream will end. As your creativity is about to bend, With a lot of luck, and pixie dust. If one doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work the other must Where dreams, are reality And reality, a dream Where all you need is vitality Just you, any your team Laughing face crying eye Waving hand as we say goodbye With fire in my blood and a song in my heart The dreamers, we're off, for a clean new start. This fantasy realm, of elves and dwarves Take away your breath, making a small pause. This is the way you see my lad, To keep your heart away from the bad. The elves they float on enchanted ground Graceful and beautiful - it's magic they've found Cunning and deceitful though they know what is right, Golden blonde hair, it shines in the light. the dwarves they are short, they are stout, they are bauld. well kept caves, away from the cold. sharp battle axes, and tempers short a trusty friend, and one very well tought. The unicorns, the nympths, of shimmering thought, The knights, the fights, of the royal court, A merchant's bargain sold at last resort, Every colour, every shape,our imagination sought. But, as adults we all know, its only our thoughts keeping them their, whilst our dear children, stop and then stare. They are to be children, in this humble land. What is better, they get to play in the sand. The waves rise. Like the sun. Across the horizen. The fiend stares across. Humbug. His eyes despisen. Bah. No one notices. This time for enjoyment, will not wilt. As they play. The way childern do. You pull up the quilt. He starts to hunger, forever more. his bin, with only an apple core. His stomach growls, as he waits for his pray and he pokes at his fireplace, made of clay. A snap. A crack. An animal in the traps. Soon eaten. Tied in wraps. all the while, innocents play on the beach. whilst the daemon prepares his leech. he plans and schemes to murder the all, yet, he is near his downfall. a battle begins on a blanket of snow purity, virtue and innocence go to fight for the freedom of a long lost soul whilst the winds of change take their tole As time moves on. So must we all. Death glance upon. Like statues, tall. We get closer to it. Each passing breath. Advancing until. There is nothing left. death, something we can't attempt to deny death, something we'll never defy somehow closer to our hearts than life oh how human minds are consumed by strife Life of pure. Life of dark. Life of a kind, found in a park. Love keeps it warm. Hate keeps it torn. So when your mum wants a hug When your baby sister's scared of the bugs, Or even when your tore your dad's favourite rug I hope you can only find... love. That love of bold. The hate of cold. Spread the love. Like a fire doth. 'I love you,' are words we hear Alot, and to my heart is near, The warmth when you hold me tight in your arms, I'm safe, I'm glad, I'm away from all harm

As this is getting seeriously long now I was thinking of using a smaller font. ^^ I'm gonna use size 9 but it's up to you. Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay happy king, smiling queen remnents of a long lost dream a hope that fades like a flame in a fire as your imagination begins to tire As you feel, soon the dream will end. As your creativity is about to bend, With a lot of luck, and pixie dust. If one doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work the other must Where dreams, are reality And reality, a dream Where all you need is vitality Just you, any your team Laughing face crying eye Waving hand as we say goodbye With fire in my blood and a song in my heart The dreamers, we're off, for a clean new start. This fantasy realm, of elves and dwarves Take away your breath, making a small pause. This is the way you see my lad, To keep your heart away from the bad. The elves they float on enchanted ground Graceful and beautiful - it's magic they've found Cunning and deceitful though they know what is right, Golden blonde hair, it shines in the light. the dwarves they are short, they are stout, they are bauld. well kept caves, away from the cold. sharp battle axes, and tempers short a trusty friend, and one very well tought. The unicorns, the nympths, of shimmering thought, The knights, the fights, of the royal court, A merchant's bargain sold at last resort, Every colour, every shape,our imagination sought. But, as adults we all know, its only our thoughts keeping them their, whilst our dear children, stop and then stare. They are to be children, in this humble land. What is better, they get to play in the sand. The waves rise. Like the sun. Across the horizen. The fiend stares across. Humbug. His eyes despisen. Bah. No one notices. This time for enjoyment, will not wilt. As they play. The way childern do. You pull up the quilt. He starts to hunger, forever more. his bin, with only an apple core. His stomach growls, as he waits for his pray and he pokes at his fireplace, made of clay. A snap. A crack. An animal in the traps. Soon eaten. Tied in wraps. all the while, innocents play on the beach. whilst the daemon prepares his leech. he plans and schemes to murder the all, yet, he is near his downfall. a battle begins on a blanket of snow purity, virtue and innocence go to fight for the freedom of a long lost soul whilst the winds of change take their tole As time moves on. So must we all. Death glance upon. Like statues, tall. We get closer to it. Each passing breath. Advancing until. There is nothing left. death, something we can't attempt to deny death, something we'll never defy somehow closer to our hearts than life oh how human minds are consumed by strife Life of pure. Life of dark. Life of a kind, found in a park. Love keeps it warm. Hate keeps it torn. So when your mum wants a hug When your baby sister's scared of the bugs, Or even when your tore your dad's favourite rug I hope you can only find... love.

Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay happy king, smiling queen remnents of a long lost dream a hope that fades like a flame in a fire as your imagination begins to tire As you feel, soon the dream will end. As your creativity is about to bend, With a lot of luck, and pixie dust. If one doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work the other must Where dreams, are reality And reality, a dream Where all you need is vitality Just you, any your team Laughing face crying eye Waving hand as we say goodbye With fire in my blood and a song in my heart The dreamers, we're off, for a clean new start. This fantasy realm, of elves and dwarves Take away your breath, making a small pause. This is the way you see my lad, To keep your heart away from the bad. The elves they float on enchanted ground Graceful and beautiful - it's magic they've found Cunning and deceitful though they know what is right, Golden blonde hair, it shines in the light the dwarves they are short, they are stout, they are bauld. well kept caves, away from the cold. sharp battle axes, and tempers short a trusty friend, and one very well taught. The unicorns, the nympths, of shimmering thought, The knights, the fights, of the royal court, A merchant's bargain sold at last resort, Every colour, every shape,our imagination sought.

1. Who are you? I am a person among billions, lost in confusion and anger :roll: 2. What are you doing here? I have no idea and I don't care about finding out. 3. What is your purpose? Pretty much the same as 2, though I like to try to make other people happy where possible. Still, number one comes first, eh? :) My own purpose is to live life to the full without letting anyone come in the way of it - except of course if it's annoying or bad for them. I just want to enjoy myself, do what I enjoy. It's a good enough purpose for me and I couldn't give a damn about 'God' (No offence to religious people, I just hate it when people say 'my purpose is to please God'. I mean it's your life just that - your life? I respect the individual's freedom to choose, but isn't putting yourself before your 50/50 incorrect beliefs a more fulfilling thing to do? Eh, maybe not. Depends on your opinion about - um. everything)

Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay happy king, smiling queen remnents of a long lost dream a hope that fades like a flame in a fire as your imagination begins to tire As you feel, soon the dream will end. As your creativity is about to bend, With a lot of luck, and pixie dust. If one doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work the other must Where dreams, are reality And reality, a dream Where all you need is vitality Just you, any your team Laughing face crying eye Waving hand as we say goodbye With fire in my blood and a song in my heart The dreamers, we're off, for a clean new start. This fantasy realm, of elves and dwarves Take away your breath, making a small pause. This is the way you see my lad, To keep your heart away from the bad. The elves they float on enchanted ground Graceful and beautiful - it's magic they've found Cunning and deceitful though they know what is right, Golden blonde hair, it shines in the light. (Andufus, I was thinking you could now do a verse about the dwarves? It's just an idea so don't if you don't want to, obviously it's your choice, but it might read pretty well as you mentioned them in your last :wink: )

Archimage can you re-read the rules please. And for the record you need to have a little personal grammar check. No-one's gonna think any better of your IQ if all you can do is put a full stop after every two words - it's not gonna get you anywhere. If you're gonna be stupid at all at least do it properly. Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay happy king, smiling queen remnents of a long lost dream a hope that fades like a flame in a fire as your imagination begins to tire As you feel, soon the dream will end. As your creativity is about to bend, With a lot of luck, and pixie dust. If one doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work the other must Where dreams, are reality And reality, a dream Where all you need is vitality Just you, any your team Laughing face crying eye Waving hand as we say goodbye With fire in my blood and a song in my heart The dreamers, we're off, for a clean new start.

Archimage you're just being stupid now. Stop correcting other people's work! I'm just gonna ignore you until you just leave it. Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind... And now, under the stars I sleep, Whilst the dying moon, does weep, My phone credit is running low, So to top it up I go! A knock on the door followed by a creak its your little sister come for a peek invite her into your soft warm bed then tuck the covers round her sleepy head She giggles, she groans She whines, and moans! But soon she falls, asleep on your shoulder As the fire in the grate, begins to smoulder. flames flicker and ashes fall your eyes wonder from ceiling to wall its coming to the end of a very long day you close your eyes, goodnight I say Dreams flicker, reality stays You're watching, you're waiting, counting the days A moment, a second, could change your life, It just takes time to keep your dreams at bay

Nice one FuBai, just a reminder though, can we stick to 4 lines please? Thanks! :) Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature, all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light. Take out the packet, the happines in twisted plastic Credit card forward, do the cutting, I'm spastic Desparate escape, that hyper manic state Tube up the note, and take the bait Why bother with the long wait? You'll never feel alone again mate. Yeah, never alone with the thoughts of my mind, The enlightenment you're trying to find, Is gone forever now you've taken the short cut You may be dying inside but it's a chance to unwind...

I thiiiink it's the FRAPPR site... :shame: :)

Whooo nice, that was great!! \ Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature, all around Doesn't take much to be able to see. Crashing waterfall, soaring bird. Floating lily, magic word. Powerful feeling, connect us too. What emotions are in you? I feel the loneliness, feel the pain, Sitting here watching the gentle moon wane, Sitting here watching the sun say goodnight, Sitting here watching the world without light.

Hiya, I thought it would be fun to have a thread where everyone can contribute to not just a story, but a poem. Don't bother posting on this thread if - You haven't spell checked it (excusing artistic license) Thought it out Put some effort into it (And by that I mean, don't just type up the first thing that comes into your head.) It would also be nice if the verses had a good rhythm, but that's not compulsory Rules - Spell check!!!!!!!! :XD: 1 verse per post only 1 verse consists of 4 normal-ish length lines Try and keep it connected to what other people have written Don't even think about changing anyone else's verse. If you really think it doesn't fit then you can PM them, and politely ask them about it. Copy and pastaaaa all the verses so far into your post so you have all of it then add yours at the bottom. Feel free to make it more specific, turn it into a story, etc. As I'm the first and I have no idea what to write about I'll start reasonably abstract. Smiling kid fluttering tree Waving flower buzzing bee Delight in nature, all around Doesn't take much to be able to see.

:lol: oh... my... gawd... that was like impossible to tell!!111oneoneeleven :D Er... what?

I would definitely keep my own name! To me it feels like (and I know this isn't the case, it's just the way I see it) men have always been considered superior especially regarding things like marriage. I would never take my husband's name if it meant getting rid of my own surname. It would feel like I LeeLee says... Are you sure you would rather take the name of your in-laws-to-be over your family's? (On second thoughts i suppose you see it more as your husband's name). But ultimately you should do whatever it is that you want to do. Don't succumb to pressures from anybody. Its your choice and your name. We all have our opinions but its your decision. :mrgreen:

If you really wash all your troubles away just have a good ole chat with our friend Lee. Maybe I didn't mean that... :anxious: Nah I'm joking. Listen to caaaaaaalming muuuuuuusiiiiiiiiiic, i.e. JEWEL *cough* or just sit and try to empty the mind, literally. :-$

I really liked it!!! \ (Maybe that smiley's not very appropriate...) :D The language was pretty good and the structure worked well, nice poem, definitely worth reading:D LeeLee (who is here now) says... I think you really leashed onto a certain mood, well done.................one more thing to say.......................................................this isn't based on a real experience i hope?????????????????????????????????????????????? loved it :mrgreen:

*cries* That has got to be one of the most beautiful, touching, moving songs every written and sung. We love you jewel :)