Pre-marital sex--

[Guest]

i get myself pregnant before i got married(was due to get married in july, found out my daughter was due in the july so we brought the wedding forward to the february. the pill let me down )

 

 

 

i see nothing wrong with it, it doesn't seem right to condemn another persons choice and willingness to have sex with another imo.

 

it was my choice to sleep with my partner before marriage, how do i have the right to say its wrong, when i have done it myself?

 

 

 

as long as it is two people who are both willing and able, who are we to judge upon them?

 

live and let live i say

 

 

 

Just wondering how the pill lets you down? Or did you not use it correctly? Because I thought the pill was a safe alternative to stopping conception? Or is there always a chance of still getting pregnant while using it?

 

 

 

Anyway congratulations on your expected child! :)

 

 

 

It is safe - just like a condom. But condoms are 98% effective, and pills are probably 99% or whatever. Point of fact remains; no system is infallible or perfect.

 

 

 

Ah ok. So if the pill lets you down you're the 1 in 100 then?

[Necromagus]

I really don't have a problem with it. It's probably the most fun you can have with your body.

 

 

 

As for the wedding night: It's the first night after officially accepting your significant other as your partner for life- that in itself is special enough for me. Plenty of other ways you can make it special even if you've had sex before.

[assassin_696]

It's a private act between two consenting people, only religion could make that a problem.

 

 

 

You're saying your parents, friends or the government dont interfere with people's sex lives? Only Religion?

 

 

 

If there's a problem in society (or a perceived one) its always religions fault if you're asking for Assassin's opinion. :roll:

 

 

 

Er, no.

 

 

 

All I was saying that premarital sex is a concept which very few people have a problem with when you think about it from a completely unbiased viewpoint, as long as it's carried out safely. The vast majority of people who are against pre-marital sex are against it due to religious principles.

 

 

 

I didn't even say it was a problem either way.

[Zonorhc]

It is safe - just like a condom. But condoms are 98% effective, and pills are probably 99% or whatever. Point of fact remains; no system is infallible or perfect.

 

 

 

A condom has no reason to fail if you are using it properly.

 

 

 

If it has a defect caused by the manufacturing process, it will be evident when you put it on. Easily solved by putting on another condom.

 

 

 

If it somehow slips off during intercourse, it was not worn correctly, or was an inappropriate size. Again, easily solved by getting the right condoms and using them properly. In this case, it should be easy enough to figure out that you should stop shagging until you've got another one on. Reusing condoms is generally a messier affair than it's worth.

 

 

 

Really, that statistic about condom effectiveness actually takes into account human error, as far as I'm concerned. The companies that manufacture those things have it in their best interests to make sure they work correctly. It's just people being stupid that makes up that tiny percentage of contraception failure.

[Matok]

 

It is safe - just like a condom. But condoms are 98% effective, and pills are probably 99% or whatever. Point of fact remains; no system is infallible or perfect.

 

Oral sex ftw - no faults there :D

[Zonorhc]

Oral sex ftw - no faults there :D

 

 

 

Keep thinking that until you get herpes - the gift that keeps on giving.

[Matok]

Oral sex ftw - no faults there :D

 

 

 

Keep thinking that until you get herpes - the gift that keeps on giving.

 

 

 

herpes can get you in few other ways as well so...again

 

Oral sex ftw :D

[Tigra00]

Birth control pills don't always work. My mom got pregnant with both me AND my sister while on the pill. They're like 98% effective or whatever, so technically, if you have sex 100 times, you're bound to get pregnant somewhere in there. :P

 

 

 

I hate the "my girlfriend is on the pill, so I don't use condoms" attitude. Is using a condom really THAT horrible that it's even worth the risk? I say nay. I mean, yea...They're awkward and stupid, but if you're going to do it, do it right.

[Zonorhc]

I hate the "my girlfriend is on the pill, so I don't use condoms" attitude. Is using a condom really THAT horrible that it's even worth the risk? I say nay. I mean, yea...They're awkward and stupid, but if you're going to do it, do it right.

 

 

 

Condoms dull the sensation by easily half.

 

 

 

Then again, babies would do that even more, so I'm sticking to condoms.

[Zealot]

What are your opinions? Do you think it's wrong, immoral, not a big deal? Disappointing, even?

 

 

 

The motivation to make this thread comes from this one, but since pre-marital sex

 

wasn't the original point of that thread, and since everyone clearly found it to be such an interesting

 

topic, I thought it deserved a thread of its own.

 

 

 

How do you think having sex before marriage affects the individuals involved? Or the relationship

 

between the two (three? :) ) persons actually doing it*? Do you think that anyone who has sex before

 

marriage is doomed to an eternity amongst the fire eating demons in Hell? If so, please tell us,

 

all opinions are valid here.

 

 

 

*Probably a poor choice of words, but ...

 

 

 

If I were to say that everybody who has sex outside of a completely committed relationship are doomed because of it, I would only be condemning myself. My firm belief is that all have sinned and are justified freely by Christ... so long as they allow it. It is the individual's choice whether they want HIM or not.

 

 

 

Having said that, in spite of being guilty of it I still mantain that premarital sex is not right. It is not as good as waiting until you are in a completely committed relationship. I have seen how it can drive a wedge between people. (happilly my fiance' and I were able to move beyond that though)

 

 

 

Tigra, just for the record birth control pills are 98% effective in the sence that for every 100 women who are using them and sexually active, on average 2 get pregnant in a given year. However, I still do agree that the risk there outweighs the benefites. If you are going to have sex outside of marriage, at least be as smart about it as possible.

[Fat_Slug]

i get myself pregnant before i got married(was due to get married in july, found out my daughter was due in the july so we brought the wedding forward to the february. the pill let me down )

 

 

 

i see nothing wrong with it, it doesn't seem right to condemn another persons choice and willingness to have sex with another imo.

 

it was my choice to sleep with my partner before marriage, how do i have the right to say its wrong, when i have done it myself?

 

 

 

as long as it is two people who are both willing and able, who are we to judge upon them?

 

live and let live i say

 

 

 

i have ibs, which basically means upset stomach on a bad day. those interfere with the pill. hence why i got pregnant while using it :-$

 

 

 

edit: rofl eels, my daughter turns 14 this month, but late for the congrats. thanks anyway lol :XD:

[assassin_696]

Having said that, in spite of being guilty of it I still mantain that premarital sex is not right. It is not as good as waiting until you are in a completely committed relationship. I have seen how it can drive a wedge between people. (happilly my fiance' and I were able to move beyond that though)

 

 

 

Would you not agree though, that if two people were in a long-term relationship (say, been together for a few years, lived together etc.) that's just as good a situation to allow sex, in fact, even better, since there might be a tendency to 'rush into' marriage just to get to the sex with the particularly devout.

 

 

 

I'm thinking of services offered in strict Islam countries where essentially there exists brothels, with readymade marriage contracts and divorces there to allow men to have a few hours with their temporary wife. That was a little off tangent, but you can see the point.

[How2PK]

Nothing wrong with it.

[SuziAngel]

As I've said before, I think it's down to personal preference. When it comes to sex, people should do whatever feels right for them and not be judged on it.

 

 

 

Personally, I wouldn't buy a car without first taking it for a test drive.

[reaper88888]

There really isn't a problem with it, as long as both partys are overage, use protection, and are willing... Of course, I'd wait until you know them well, otherwise you might wake up one morning with "Welcome to the wonderful world of AIDs!" written on the mirror...

[Rebdragon]

The only reason that we seem to think we have to wait for marriage to have sex is because of the religious stance behind it.

 

 

 

The Church wants two simple things out of a couple for them to be a true couple- that they are Procreative (i.e., can reproduce), and that they are in a Unitive relationship. Procreative is pretty much covered if the couple is hetero, but the only way (by the Church's definition) to enter into the Unitive property of a relationship is to be married, as marriage officially unites a couple. Once these two prerequisetes (sp?) are met, the Church feels that a couple is permitted to engage in the sexual act [just because you hate religion doesn't mean you shouldn't learn about it :-w ].

 

 

 

Sadly, marriage is the only true line (other than the legal age I suppose) for measuring whether or not a couple is ready for sex. Still, I prefer to remain in the foggy area of permitting sex before marriage, because marriage doesn't exactly cause you to love someone, it's the other way around; marriage is a result of love.

[Kashi]

Well, so far all the responses have been in the order of "It's a personal choice, I don't

 

see anything wrong with it" and all that, but, well ...

 

 

 

Most churches are still in service right now. :-w

 

 

 

So give it a few hours, I want the religious fanatics to have their say too.

[mad4u689]

I'm another person from the "It's a personal choice" camp. As long as there's consent on both sides, it's fine. And personally, I see no reason why one shouldn't have sex before marriage. While in my experience, sex that has had emotion behind it has been much more satisfying than sex which has not, I think people can enjoy sex in whatever capacity they choose - from casual sex, to sex with a longtime partner, to waiting til marriage and having sex with their spouse.

 

 

 

As for protection - people need to be smart about these things. When something is 98% effective (as the pill is), that doesn't mean you have a 2% chance of getting pregnant each time you have sex; rather, someone who uses that method of protection regularly for a year, while having regular sex, only has a 2% chance of getting pregnant.

 

 

 

So using 99.9% birth control patch/pills (which I am on) along with 98% condoms (which I also use) means you are extremely well protected in terms of birth control.

 

 

 

However, you should always use a condom to protect against STDs, unless both you and your partner have been tested for STDs quite recently. Either way, once you are sexually active, you (and your partners) should also test yourself for STDs regularly.

[jonstark7x8]

Well I'm probably going to save myself for marriage but thats just my personal choice. Especially if that's what my partner wants. Though I don't have a problem with either way, though I don't like the fact that there's so many loose chicks out there rooting any male with hormones. And that males think its cool getting with a loose chick for a night. Then they realise that they've contracted that disease they don't want.

 

 

 

But if there's a guy and a girl who love each other and have talked it through and use protection then I generally don't see a problem with it, though I still believe its generally better to wait.

 

 

 

That's exactly how I feel. I personally will probably wait until marriage, but if both agree, I think it's all right.

 

 

 

And getting somebody pregnant and not getting married seems like quite the fiasco #-o .

[insane]

You must be a shallow person then.

 

 

 

May I ask how you have come to that conclusion?

 

 

 

"You don't buy a car before you take a test drive".

 

 

 

The only function of a car is to drive.

 

 

 

Thus saying that you wouldn't marry someone before having sex by using that analogy implies that the only function of your spouse is to sexually satisfy you. Hence the shallow comment.

[SuziAngel]

Oh my, have you misplaced your sense of humour today?

[Lionheart_0]

You must be a shallow person then.

 

 

 

May I ask how you have come to that conclusion?

 

 

 

"You don't buy a car before you take a test drive".

 

 

 

The only function of a car is to drive.

 

 

 

Thus saying that you wouldn't marry someone before having sex by using that analogy implies that the only function of your spouse is to sexually satisfy you. Hence the shallow comment.

:| I think you took the analogy too literally.

 

 

 

Plus I can think of multiple other uses for a car other then just for driving.

[The Dark Lord]

Let me reask this question.

 

 

 

How do you feel about pre-teens/teens having sex?

[The Dark Lord]

You must be a shallow person then.

 

 

 

May I ask how you have come to that conclusion?

 

 

 

"You don't buy a car before you take a test drive".

 

 

 

The only function of a car is to drive.

 

 

 

Thus saying that you wouldn't marry someone before having sex by using that analogy implies that the only function of your spouse is to sexually satisfy you. Hence the shallow comment.

 

 

 

I have to agree with Insane on this one. Also it sounds like you're implying that you won't love someone unless they are really good sexually. If they don't satisfy you as much as you would like (sexually), then they are worthless to you.

 

 

 

"If he can't make me squeal in delight, then I don't love him."

[How2PK]

She's not shallow, you're overly romantic. Do you really think Christians marry because they love eachother? They just want to have sex without burning in hell.