Ignoring works... they say.

[ember3579]

Riku, TRUST me, you have no idea what you're talking about. While YOU might be alright with the whole "You vs. the World" routine, the majority of humanity isn't too keen on the idea. Oh, and for the record, the whole "sticks and stones" line is the single biggest pile of sh** that has EVER been said to anybody. Period.

[Solidus_77]

but look the people who aren't talking to you, either never talked to you before, or rarely talked to you ever. what difference does it make if the people you barely talk to you stop talking to you? like i said, if someone ignores you for getting someone off your back in anyway possible, screw them there's no way in hell im ditching my friend because he told the counsler someone was throwing insults about his dead father.

 

 

 

You just don't get it do you? Do you know what it's like to be socially excluded? Do you know what it's like to sit at home all night with a pain deep inside you? Do you know what it's like to say "Hi" to a new person only to hear insults and hurtfull comments in return?

 

 

 

and you think your situation is bad? ever heard of the "Little Rock Nine"? the nine black students who were integrated into an all-white school? they were blocked by armed national guard troops and the federal troops had to be sent in to escort them into school.

 

 

 

Oh right, the old "Hey, your problem isn't that bad, take a look at [insert extreme example], now they had a tough time". True, the discrimination they faced was something I could never relate to. The fact that you are trying to brush my problem off as not a big deal, however, is insulting. You see, there were times in early teen years were spent completely alone. Not a single friend. The only person to stand by me was my pet animal (who eventually died). The warm welcomes that I felt from some people eventually turned to hate as they (as well as many others) rallied against me. If I was ever to speak up in class I was guarenteed to hear something from another student who knew exactly how to piss me off. Any skill that I had was completely ignored, kids would constently torment me to remind me that I had no friends to stand by, some would get physical, others would laugh at my attempts to fit in and socialize. Some people had enough nerve to act friendly but backstab me in a time of need. Even whenever I left a certain social environment the people in there would cheer and celebrate the fact that I was gone. Any new friends I tried to meet would eventually say "I really made a misake to be around him". There were some true friends along the way, but many times they weren't there. And whenever I tried to enter a new social environment the whole thing would begin all over again. Oh boy did I feel sad about all this, some nights I would sit in bed and wonder if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life wherever I went and dreaded the next day. These are the kinds of painfull feelings, I tried ignoring them, but they stayed bottled up inside me only to erupt later and make matters even worse. Sometimes even when I tried talking to the adults they seemed to try and remind me that this was all my fault somehow (which was often true, but didn't help solve the problem) or worse, they would side with the other kids.

 

 

 

Most of what I did was my own fault, my own impusiveness or social ignorance yet still the concequences were terrible. When I eventually told on those two guys I mentioned earlier, this was 3 years ago, after changing schools I started to see the same pattern emerge. Telling the teacher was sort of a desperate attempt to try and avoid from having this all happen again, which ended up only making things worse and sure enough, I was back to the social exclusion. Luckily it wasn't as bad, but it hurt now as I felt despair: it was happening this time as well, just when I thought that things would tak a turn for the better. Luckily over the course of the year things did start to improve and I started to get along with people much better and in this past year I not only became socially accepted, but people genuinely enjoyed being around me. After being nearly consumed by loneliness I was able to emerge as someone who's social and even a confident guy who people look up to. Being social is truely a wonderful experience and I am so glad that I was able to know what it feels like to be accepted, to have friends and smiling faces anywhere I turn. To know that I can finally go to sleep happy, knowing that tomorrow I've got all kinds of people to talk to.

 

 

 

Now I see how you're just trying to ratonalize my situation and find a practical solution. And it's true, why should I feel anything about people disliking me who I never talked to anyways? It doesn't make any logical sense. But trust me, those feelings were there and they were powerfull. You did well to ignore them before it could become a problem and it seems you were able to avoid social exclusion. But keep in mind that you do not know what it's like to go through feeling sad, lonely and rejected from everyone.

 

 

 

Edit: thanks ember :

[Happysniff]

Well just bully the bully back. If the bullies black call him a slave. If he's mexican call him greasy. If he's white call him inbred. If he's asian say he has a small [rooster].

 

 

 

You have to analyse the bully and take his weaknesses and bag him out for it. If however they have the exact some characteristics as you (you're white and he's white, you're dumb and he's dumb) then just challenge him to a fight and kick him in the nuts.

[Riku3220]

[hide=]

but look the people who aren't talking to you, either never talked to you before, or rarely talked to you ever. what difference does it make if the people you barely talk to you stop talking to you? like i said, if someone ignores you for getting someone off your back in anyway possible, screw them there's no way in hell im ditching my friend because he told the counsler someone was throwing insults about his dead father.

 

 

 

You just don't get it do you? Do you know what it's like to be socially excluded? Do you know what it's like to sit at home all night with a pain deep inside you? Do you know what it's like to say "Hi" to a new person only to hear insults and hurtfull comments in return?

 

 

 

and you think your situation is bad? ever heard of the "Little Rock Nine"? the nine black students who were integrated into an all-white school? they were blocked by armed national guard troops and the federal troops had to be sent in to escort them into school.

 

 

 

Oh right, the old "Hey, your problem isn't that bad, take a look at [insert extreme example], now they had a tough time". True, the discrimination they faced was something I could never relate to. The fact that you are trying to brush my problem off as not a big deal, however, is insulting. You see, there were times in early teen years were spent completely alone. Not a single friend. The only person to stand by me was my pet animal (who eventually died). The warm welcomes that I felt from some people eventually turned to hate as they (as well as many others) rallied against me. If I was ever to speak up in class I was guarenteed to hear something from another student who knew exactly how to piss me off. Any skill that I had was completely ignored, kids would constently torment me to remind me that I had no friends to stand by, some would get physical, others would laugh at my attempts to fit in and socialize. Some people had enough nerve to act friendly but backstab me in a time of need. Even whenever I left a certain social environment the people in there would cheer and celebrate the fact that I was gone. Any new friends I tried to meet would eventually say "I really made a misake to be around him". There were some true friends along the way, but many times they weren't there. And whenever I tried to enter a new social environment the whole thing would begin all over again. Oh boy did I feel sad about all this, some nights I would sit in bed and wonder if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life wherever I went and dreaded the next day. These are the kinds of painfull feelings, I tried ignoring them, but they stayed bottled up inside me only to erupt later and make matters even worse. Sometimes even when I tried talking to the adults they seemed to try and remind me that this was all my fault somehow (which was often true, but didn't help solve the problem) or worse, they would side with the other kids.

 

 

 

Most of what I did was my own fault, my own impusiveness or social ignorance yet still the concequences were terrible. When I eventually told on those two guys I mentioned earlier, this was 3 years ago, after changing schools I started to see the same pattern emerge. Telling the teacher was sort of a desperate attempt to try and avoid from having this all happen again, which ended up only making things worse and sure enough, I was back to the social exclusion. Luckily it wasn't as bad, but it hurt now as I felt despair: it was happening this time as well, just when I thought that things would tak a turn for the better. Luckily over the course of the year things did start to improve and I started to get along with people much better and in this past year I not only became socially accepted, but people genuinely enjoyed being around me. After being nearly consumed by loneliness I was able to emerge as someone who's social and even a confident guy who people look up to. Being social is truely a wonderful experience and I am so glad that I was able to know what it feels like to be accepted, to have friends and smiling faces anywhere I turn. To know that I can finally go to sleep happy, knowing that tomorrow I've got all kinds of people to talk to.

 

 

 

Now I see how you're just trying to ratonalize my situation and find a practical solution. And it's true, why should I feel anything about people disliking me who I never talked to anyways? It doesn't make any logical sense. But trust me, those feelings were there and they were powerfull. You did well to ignore them before it could become a problem and it seems you were able to avoid social exclusion. But keep in mind that you do not know what it's like to go through feeling sad, lonely and rejected from everyone.

 

 

 

Edit: thanks ember :

[/hide]

 

 

 

who said that your entire social life had to be in this hellhole of a school you went to? my social life is entirely based off of friends from the internet, ADULTS that play Pokemon, Magic: the gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh, my group of 5 friends? every day before and after school we huddle around and play our DS's!!! you think i don't know what its like to be shunned? well let me tell you i do, i just found a way around that, i found a group that accepts me for what i love to do, i found a group of friends who love to sit around and play games all day, and you know how i did it? i ignored everyone who hurled insults at me, kicked me in the shins, knocked my DS to the ground. I'm sorry but feeling sorry for yourself never helps.

 

 

 

@ember: tell me how its bull? i ask you! WHAT could they be possibly saying that hurts so badly that you cant bear to ignore it?

 

 

 

EDIT: sorry if im appear as if im yelling im really not trying to :oops:

[InkofDeath]

Be with a group of people, 3+, at all times. Intimidation by numbers works great, especially when the majority of bullies are indeed cowards.

 

 

 

If they really have it in for you, your going to get it, and that's that. There's no stopping someone who is downright ready to insult you, and harass you. They will probably always be insulting you unless some form of act or event happens that puts you into a place where they can't insult you, or harass you.

 

 

 

The tactics they teach you in 1-6 of grade school, is just so they can find out who are the bullies are, and punish them. Majority of the time the bullying does indeed get worse after the initial 'tell'. Or it'll haunt you all through-out the rest of your school life.

[ember3579]

who said that your entire social life had to be in this hellhole of a school you went to? my social life is entirely based off of friends from the internet, ADULTS that play Pokemon, Magic: the gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh, my group of 5 friends? every day before and after school we huddle around and play our DS's!!! you think i don't know what its like to be shunned? well let me tell you i do, i just found a way around that, i found a group that accepts me for what i love to do, i found a group of friends who love to sit around and play games all day, and you know how i did it? i ignored everyone who hurled insults at me, kicked me in the shins, knocked my DS to the ground. I'm sorry but feeling sorry for yourself never helps.

 

 

 

In order to properly demonstrate what it would feel like, you'd have to be deprived of even that small group of friends. Trust me, being LITERALLY alone like that is Hell. I can vouch for that, as well as how much help even ONE person besides immediate family to help you out improves the situation. Luckily, I've been able to avoid this situation in recent years.

 

 

 

I actually just now remembered a book I've read a little while ago. It was for one of my classes in Sophomore year, I think. It detailed this perfectly, though not in a situation that is 100% applicable to everyone. It's a real life story by a famous(ish) female writer about her school years. I can't remember the name, but if you look, it shouldn't be too hard to find.

 

 

 

And skatedog's tactics and reasoning are overall correct, although strength in numbers doesn't always work. They can always either outnumber you or find a way to split you up.

[Riku3220]

who said that your entire social life had to be in this hellhole of a school you went to? my social life is entirely based off of friends from the internet, ADULTS that play Pokemon, Magic: the gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh, my group of 5 friends? every day before and after school we huddle around and play our DS's!!! you think i don't know what its like to be shunned? well let me tell you i do, i just found a way around that, i found a group that accepts me for what i love to do, i found a group of friends who love to sit around and play games all day, and you know how i did it? i ignored everyone who hurled insults at me, kicked me in the shins, knocked my DS to the ground. I'm sorry but feeling sorry for yourself never helps.

 

 

 

In order to properly demonstrate what it would feel like, you'd have to be deprived of even that small group of friends. Trust me, being LITERALLY alone like that is Hell. I can vouch for that, as well as how much help even ONE person besides immediate family to help you out improves the situation. Luckily, I've been able to avoid this situation in recent years.

 

 

 

I actually just now remembered a book I've read a little while ago. It was for one of my classes in Sophomore year, I think. It detailed this perfectly, though not in a situation that is 100% applicable to everyone. It's a real life story by a famous(ish) female writer about her school years. I can't remember the name, but if you look, it shouldn't be too hard to find.

 

 

 

And skatedog's tactics and reasoning are overall correct, although strength in numbers doesn't always work. They can always either outnumber you or find a way to split you up.

 

 

 

by being deprived of my small group of friends mean my real life friends?, or all of my friends because really if you cant find a friend on the internet you are indeed a hermit, even if i didnt have my real life friends i have friends on WoW and AoC, i even consider some of tipit's members as my friends. but there is always one person whos not directly related to you who will be your friend

[Orpheus]

Most people know I have a bit of a temper, so they know that if they mess around with me, I will get revenge, in one form or another. For example, some fat kid who thinks it's funny to screw around with me. I pretty much have a backpack with some metal crowbar-type objects for support, and I can pull those out and fight with them. And if he ever comes over to my house, I have knives, a paintball gun loaded with MARBLES, and a safe full of rifles to use. Last I checked, if he doesn't leave where I live, I have a right to shoot as a warning, and if he does step foot in my house, then nothing will stop me from firing at him.

[Solidus_77]

[hide=]

but look the people who aren't talking to you, either never talked to you before, or rarely talked to you ever. what difference does it make if the people you barely talk to you stop talking to you? like i said, if someone ignores you for getting someone off your back in anyway possible, screw them there's no way in hell im ditching my friend because he told the counsler someone was throwing insults about his dead father.

 

 

 

You just don't get it do you? Do you know what it's like to be socially excluded? Do you know what it's like to sit at home all night with a pain deep inside you? Do you know what it's like to say "Hi" to a new person only to hear insults and hurtfull comments in return?

 

 

 

and you think your situation is bad? ever heard of the "Little Rock Nine"? the nine black students who were integrated into an all-white school? they were blocked by armed national guard troops and the federal troops had to be sent in to escort them into school.

 

 

 

Oh right, the old "Hey, your problem isn't that bad, take a look at [insert extreme example], now they had a tough time". True, the discrimination they faced was something I could never relate to. The fact that you are trying to brush my problem off as not a big deal, however, is insulting. You see, there were times in early teen years were spent completely alone. Not a single friend. The only person to stand by me was my pet animal (who eventually died). The warm welcomes that I felt from some people eventually turned to hate as they (as well as many others) rallied against me. If I was ever to speak up in class I was guarenteed to hear something from another student who knew exactly how to piss me off. Any skill that I had was completely ignored, kids would constently torment me to remind me that I had no friends to stand by, some would get physical, others would laugh at my attempts to fit in and socialize. Some people had enough nerve to act friendly but backstab me in a time of need. Even whenever I left a certain social environment the people in there would cheer and celebrate the fact that I was gone. Any new friends I tried to meet would eventually say "I really made a misake to be around him". There were some true friends along the way, but many times they weren't there. And whenever I tried to enter a new social environment the whole thing would begin all over again. Oh boy did I feel sad about all this, some nights I would sit in bed and wonder if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life wherever I went and dreaded the next day. These are the kinds of painfull feelings, I tried ignoring them, but they stayed bottled up inside me only to erupt later and make matters even worse. Sometimes even when I tried talking to the adults they seemed to try and remind me that this was all my fault somehow (which was often true, but didn't help solve the problem) or worse, they would side with the other kids.

 

 

 

Most of what I did was my own fault, my own impusiveness or social ignorance yet still the concequences were terrible. When I eventually told on those two guys I mentioned earlier, this was 3 years ago, after changing schools I started to see the same pattern emerge. Telling the teacher was sort of a desperate attempt to try and avoid from having this all happen again, which ended up only making things worse and sure enough, I was back to the social exclusion. Luckily it wasn't as bad, but it hurt now as I felt despair: it was happening this time as well, just when I thought that things would tak a turn for the better. Luckily over the course of the year things did start to improve and I started to get along with people much better and in this past year I not only became socially accepted, but people genuinely enjoyed being around me. After being nearly consumed by loneliness I was able to emerge as someone who's social and even a confident guy who people look up to. Being social is truely a wonderful experience and I am so glad that I was able to know what it feels like to be accepted, to have friends and smiling faces anywhere I turn. To know that I can finally go to sleep happy, knowing that tomorrow I've got all kinds of people to talk to.

 

 

 

Now I see how you're just trying to ratonalize my situation and find a practical solution. And it's true, why should I feel anything about people disliking me who I never talked to anyways? It doesn't make any logical sense. But trust me, those feelings were there and they were powerfull. You did well to ignore them before it could become a problem and it seems you were able to avoid social exclusion. But keep in mind that you do not know what it's like to go through feeling sad, lonely and rejected from everyone.

 

 

 

Edit: thanks ember :

[/hide]

 

 

 

who said that your entire social life had to be in this hellhole of a school you went to? my social life is entirely based off of friends from the internet, ADULTS that play Pokemon, Magic: the gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh, my group of 5 friends? every day before and after school we huddle around and play our DS's!!! you think i don't know what its like to be shunned? well let me tell you i do, i just found a way around that, i found a group that accepts me for what i love to do, i found a group of friends who love to sit around and play games all day, and you know how i did it? i ignored everyone who hurled insults at me, kicked me in the shins, knocked my DS to the ground. I'm sorry but feeling sorry for yourself never helps.

 

 

 

@ember: tell me how its bull? i ask you! WHAT could they be possibly saying that hurts so badly that you cant bear to ignore it?

 

 

 

EDIT: sorry if im appear as if im yelling im really not trying to :oops:

 

 

 

In case you haven't noticed (I stated it in my previous post be whatever) I've gotten over all of these things a while ago. My life is anything but the hellhole it use to be. It didn't have to become a hellhole, but nevertheless it did. And not just once but EVERY SINGLE social environment that I went through I faced the same exclusion. Of course now I could change everything and had it been someone different they could have probably prevented the exclusion from happening in the first place. But none of that happened, I didn't know how to interact with people and I was forced to deal with my exclusion.

 

 

 

However, I did misjudge you, I thought you were more socially accepted. But it seems your group of 5 people is abit excluded. Still, that's not nearly as bad as having NOBODY to turn to. The only person who I truely had a bond with was my pet animal. I can't believe you're willing to seclude yourself from all the other kids just to be with these 5 friends, relying on only a few friends is something that I never understand and honestly hope I never have to go through. It's much better to be able to be friends with these people who were bullies (as well as my older friends) instead of having to ignore them all the time. I don't have to ignore the suffering because there is no suffering.

 

 

 

Oh and let's get one thing straight: I don't feel sorry for myself. Even if it was painfull to endure, I tried everything I could to change my situation, and it worked! My story is not about sadness and pain. It's about determination to keep trying and eventually triumphing over my greatest challenge. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I was merely trying to show you just how it felt to be in my shoes. If anything, I wish for people to feel hope that even if everyone seems against you and you see yourself as the biggest introverted geek, you can become a social and popular person.

[Riku3220]

[hide=]

but look the people who aren't talking to you, either never talked to you before, or rarely talked to you ever. what difference does it make if the people you barely talk to you stop talking to you? like i said, if someone ignores you for getting someone off your back in anyway possible, screw them there's no way in hell im ditching my friend because he told the counsler someone was throwing insults about his dead father.

 

 

 

You just don't get it do you? Do you know what it's like to be socially excluded? Do you know what it's like to sit at home all night with a pain deep inside you? Do you know what it's like to say "Hi" to a new person only to hear insults and hurtfull comments in return?

 

 

 

and you think your situation is bad? ever heard of the "Little Rock Nine"? the nine black students who were integrated into an all-white school? they were blocked by armed national guard troops and the federal troops had to be sent in to escort them into school.

 

 

 

Oh right, the old "Hey, your problem isn't that bad, take a look at [insert extreme example], now they had a tough time". True, the discrimination they faced was something I could never relate to. The fact that you are trying to brush my problem off as not a big deal, however, is insulting. You see, there were times in early teen years were spent completely alone. Not a single friend. The only person to stand by me was my pet animal (who eventually died). The warm welcomes that I felt from some people eventually turned to hate as they (as well as many others) rallied against me. If I was ever to speak up in class I was guarenteed to hear something from another student who knew exactly how to piss me off. Any skill that I had was completely ignored, kids would constently torment me to remind me that I had no friends to stand by, some would get physical, others would laugh at my attempts to fit in and socialize. Some people had enough nerve to act friendly but backstab me in a time of need. Even whenever I left a certain social environment the people in there would cheer and celebrate the fact that I was gone. Any new friends I tried to meet would eventually say "I really made a misake to be around him". There were some true friends along the way, but many times they weren't there. And whenever I tried to enter a new social environment the whole thing would begin all over again. Oh boy did I feel sad about all this, some nights I would sit in bed and wonder if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life wherever I went and dreaded the next day. These are the kinds of painfull feelings, I tried ignoring them, but they stayed bottled up inside me only to erupt later and make matters even worse. Sometimes even when I tried talking to the adults they seemed to try and remind me that this was all my fault somehow (which was often true, but didn't help solve the problem) or worse, they would side with the other kids.

 

 

 

Most of what I did was my own fault, my own impusiveness or social ignorance yet still the concequences were terrible. When I eventually told on those two guys I mentioned earlier, this was 3 years ago, after changing schools I started to see the same pattern emerge. Telling the teacher was sort of a desperate attempt to try and avoid from having this all happen again, which ended up only making things worse and sure enough, I was back to the social exclusion. Luckily it wasn't as bad, but it hurt now as I felt despair: it was happening this time as well, just when I thought that things would tak a turn for the better. Luckily over the course of the year things did start to improve and I started to get along with people much better and in this past year I not only became socially accepted, but people genuinely enjoyed being around me. After being nearly consumed by loneliness I was able to emerge as someone who's social and even a confident guy who people look up to. Being social is truely a wonderful experience and I am so glad that I was able to know what it feels like to be accepted, to have friends and smiling faces anywhere I turn. To know that I can finally go to sleep happy, knowing that tomorrow I've got all kinds of people to talk to.

 

 

 

Now I see how you're just trying to ratonalize my situation and find a practical solution. And it's true, why should I feel anything about people disliking me who I never talked to anyways? It doesn't make any logical sense. But trust me, those feelings were there and they were powerfull. You did well to ignore them before it could become a problem and it seems you were able to avoid social exclusion. But keep in mind that you do not know what it's like to go through feeling sad, lonely and rejected from everyone.

 

 

 

Edit: thanks ember :[/hide]

 

 

 

who said that your entire social life had to be in this hellhole of a school you went to? my social life is entirely based off of friends from the internet, ADULTS that play Pokemon, Magic: the gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh, my group of 5 friends? every day before and after school we huddle around and play our DS's!!! you think i don't know what its like to be shunned? well let me tell you i do, i just found a way around that, i found a group that accepts me for what i love to do, i found a group of friends who love to sit around and play games all day, and you know how i did it? i ignored everyone who hurled insults at me, kicked me in the shins, knocked my DS to the ground. I'm sorry but feeling sorry for yourself never helps.

 

 

 

@ember: tell me how its bull? i ask you! WHAT could they be possibly saying that hurts so badly that you cant bear to ignore it?

 

 

 

EDIT: sorry if im appear as if im yelling im really not trying to :oops:

 

 

 

In case you haven't noticed (I stated it in my previous post be whatever) I've gotten over all of these things a while ago. My life is anything but the hellhole it use to be. It didn't have to become a hellhole, but nevertheless it did. And not just once but EVERY SINGLE social environment that I went through I faced the same exclusion. Of course now I could change everything and had it been someone different they could have probably prevented the exclusion from happening in the first place. But none of that happened, I didn't know how to interact with people and I was forced to deal with my exclusion.

 

 

 

However, I did misjudge you, I thought you were more socially accepted. But it seems your group of 5 people is abit excluded. Still, that's not nearly as bad as having NOBODY to turn to. The only person who I truely had a bond with was my pet animal. I can't believe you're willing to seclude yourself from all the other kids just to be with these 5 friends, relying on only a few friends is something that I never understand and honestly hope I never have to go through. It's much better to be able to be friends with these people who were bullies (as well as my older friends) instead of having to ignore them all the time. I don't have to ignore the suffering because there is no suffering.

 

 

 

Oh and let's get one thing straight: I don't feel sorry for myself. Even if it was painfull to endure, I tried everything I could to change my situation, and it worked! My story is not about sadness and pain. It's about determination to keep trying and eventually triumphing over my greatest challenge. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I was merely trying to show you just how it felt to be in my shoes. If anything, I wish for people to feel hope that even if everyone seems against you and you see yourself as the biggest introverted geek, you can become a social and popular person.

 

 

 

 

 

it seems now that we've come to an understanding Solidus, but about the secluding myself to these 5 friends i do that because nobody else at that school would care if a got a new character to 70 in WoW or if i had just gotten my first prestige in CoD4 most people at my school dont even play video games.

 

 

 

if you take out the girls (who im 1001% positive they dont play video games)

 

 

 

the people who jampack their lives with sports to where the only people they have enough time to spend with are the other people who jampack their lives with sports

 

 

 

the people who are in a higher grade so i dont get to spend much time with them other than at lunch

 

 

 

and the people who cant afford games and i have barely anyone to play with.

 

 

 

that basically why i seclude myself from the others

[IGoddessI]

This isn't a competition on who had it worse off in the school yard. Usually people who have nobody, have nobody for a good reason (they fit in to "oh poor me" categories). We all have something in common (bullying) so how about we become useful and come up with strategies of overcoming it by combining the information we know?

[Riku3220]

i wasnt competeing, more so stating that there are more people than just the ones at school, for me it'd be a card shop and the internet.

 

 

 

if you're going to find friends over the internet make sure its not a myspace backstabber, the ones who pretend they're your friend then just hurl nasty insults at you,that's sadly pushed some people to suicide before

[IGoddessI]

With the attitude and values you hold Riku (from what I've read, not much seems to affect you) I'm sure you could help people avoid situations such as those by sharing some of your tactics.

[Solidus_77]

Goddess, my intention is to help others but right now I feel Riku and I are getting somewhere here, this isn't a mere bragging contest we've got some understanding going on.

 

 

 

Riku, you know I think you should seek out people, you might just be missing out.

 

 

 

it seems now that we've come to an understanding Solidus, but about the secluding myself to these 5 friends i do that because nobody else at that school would care if a got a new character to 70 in WoW or if i had just gotten my first prestige in CoD4 most people at my school dont even play video games.

 

 

 

Well guess who play sports and stuff probably won't. But maybe other people will. Or maybe you should spend time trying to see what other people do for fun instead of focusing on your interests?

 

 

 

if you take out the girls (who im 1001% positive they dont play video games)

 

 

 

Don't underestimate them. I know a few girls who like to play halo 3. One who has a wii (actually make that several). Another girl lent me some games too. Even a girl who was the sportiest in the school confessed to me that she prefers playing video games to going out clubbing. Now what's interesting about each of these girls is that I met them after I decided to become open and social and even whilst I saw them everyday before when I was more introverted, I never knew that they liked video games. All that to say you'd be surpried what people are interested in and I think you should go meet people. In fact I'm willing to bet that there's a girl who plays video games.

 

 

 

the people who jampack their lives with sports to where the only people they have enough time to spend with are the other people who jampack their lives with sports

 

 

 

They seem to be devoted to sports. As are those in my school. But we still talk about plenty of stuff, like our favorite TV shows, how badly they got drunk last weekend. In fact the sportiest guys at my school (besides the girl I mentioned before) frequently play Halo tournaments at each other's houses and Warcraft III.

 

 

 

the people who are in a higher grade so i dont get to spend much time with them other than at lunch

 

 

 

You see my social life only changed after I got to see what people got to do outside of school. Trust me, people can act really different. I know one girl who can get really stuck up and gets me frustrated when all I want to do is help her. But outside of school she's a great fun to be around and honestly I'm glad to have met her.

 

 

 

People from higher grades shoudn't be off your list either. I remember this guy who was a senior (I was a junior) who would ride the train with me every morning and afternoon. We talked nearly the entire time! He was a great guy to be around and I'm glad I met him. My sister also would totally dissagree with you there, she's made friends with almost everyone in the grade above her! If you don't see them often, make the effort.

 

 

 

Riku! there are so many people that you could meet, do as you please, but I hope that you consider going out of your way to meet these people. Throughout this year, my only regret is that I hadn't met these people (or at least seen who they really were) sooner.

 

 

 

and the people who cant afford games and i have barely anyone to play with.

 

 

 

that basically why i seclude myself from the others

[Gehackte]

Thanks everyone for the great replies. I'm going to follow your advices but first i have holiday hope my bulliers change(A) thanks for the help

 

 

 

~Gehackte

[Zierro]

You could do two effective things. 1.) The traditional "Don't care what they think." or 2.) Demand to be respected.

 

 

 

1.) I think people bully others to hide their own insecurities. They like the feeling of being dominant so much that they'll go out of their way to find everyone's faults and pick at them. Just think to yourself, "Wow, this kid's so sad that he spends his time trying to degrade me rather than doing anything worthwhile."

 

 

 

2.) I stopped most of my bully problems via physical confrontation and to be honest, it does earn you respect - at least when we're talking about insecure people like these. In fact, now that I think back, I made a lot of friends who used to be bullies to me but since I proved myself they decided to be cool with me. Think of how it works in prison. A lot of those guys in there like the feeling of being dominant. That's why they go after the little guys who don't fight back.

 

 

 

It doesn't even have to be a real fight - just demonstrate your aggression. In 1st grade, I remember this 5th grader who always picked on me during the bus ride. He was kicking my feet one day, so I decided to kick his right back. It solved the issue. He stopped kicking and went on minding his own business for the rest of the day.

[Furah]

hmm... I would reccommend trying to find common interests and suprise the peoople by... being nice! I know it may seem weird, but if you try to befriend them, usually they will, and yes I have done it, a guy who used to hate me so much is now a really good friend of mine :

 

 

 

if not most of the posts in here seem to be excellent, so try others out if mine doesn't work

[jackal_55]

its a load of crap, ignoring someone just lets them think you're scared of them.

 

the best way to deal with school bullies is to beat the snot out of one of them so badly that they think you're some kind of psycho.

 

people don't like that idea, but its the only reliable way to deal with power trip egotists. :roll:

 

the thing is, if someone was highly intelligent, ignoring them would work, but most bullies aren't intelligent, so it doesn't, the only way you're going to get through to them is to speak their language.

 

 

 

also, people who says they are trying to cover up their own insecurities are wrong to, its just that people want to feel better than others, and if you don't seem to look up to them, they want to make you fear them.

 

its all about primal instincts really, they're alpha male, so all other males have to be subdued, how many times outside of primary school do you see a group of boys picking on a girl? very rarely, because females aren't a threat to their alpha male status, but if you overpower the alpha male, then you become alpha male, and they sulk away, or try to get back their position, (ie they'll come back for more, with a few friends, if you take my advice, take that as a warning.)

[dragoonson]

Personally,I've been on both sides of the bully and bullied thing,though the latter more.Bullying sucks balls man,I'll skip that.

 

 

 

Bullies have no friends.I mean REAL friends.Friends that don't dessert you when you could be in trouble.Bring that up.Use your fists if you have to.Punch one the rest scatter,unless their in a gang.If they're gangsters...consider changing school or ignoring,which does work on gangsters.

 

 

 

The best case scenario is some mentally challenged kid comes to your school and they pick on him instead.

[INFINTEBAJAN2]

i went from being bullied to being a bully. i ran that middle school with an iron fist.if you had a date with a girl on Saturday and i liked her you'd have to cancel it.i didn't pick on any nerds or geeks though just the jerks.

[dragoonson]

i went from being bullied to being a bully. i ran that middle school with an iron fist.if you had a date with a girl on Saturday and i liked her you'd have to cancel it.i didn't pick on any nerds or geeks though just the jerks.

 

 

 

So did I.I punched a bastard for giving a nerd a wedgie.Then I finished the wedgie lol.No point wasting such hard work.(I used a tissue,damn germs)

[Flu]

Being someone who's taken s**t a lot, i have to say that i have learned toi get used to it. But then again they did have something pretty obvious to make fun of. Whenevber someone takes the mick about it now i just say "try to a bit more original"

 

 

 

But heh, someone close to me is getting a lot of crap at school too. The best way to deal with it, i find, is find someone you feel comfortable to talk to, and do just that. Just sit there and talk, it gets it off your chest and clears your head to think of an action plan.

 

 

 

Oh, and reacting only makes it worse. I threw a desk at someone once, which quite frankly, made it worse. Don't react ;)

[Dizzle229]

IMO, bullying should be an automatic death sentence, but until Lenin takes over the world that isn't likely to happen. Ignoring doesn't work, and as has already been said, telling an administrator won't do a damn thing but fuel the fire. Some kind of permanent damage usually does the trick, be it physically or mentally.

 

 

 

Ex. You are walking through the woods and you se a lion (not scientifically correct but work with me here) next to the lion, is a fresh slab of meat.You reach out to take it, and the lion bites your arm. You run away. The next day you come back. Once again, the lion is there, and once again, so is the slab of meat. You walk over to try and take it again. On your way, you look at your arm and see the scar. This will be a reminder forever: Don't touch the lions meat.

[Happysniff]

IMO, bullying should be an automatic death sentence

 

 

 

Wow, you are one crazy son of a [bleep]. Most bullies have been bullied or abused themselves, and you're saying they should be executed for that. You are [bleep]ed in the head ;)

[Dizzle229]

If you had read the rest of the post you would have seen that it was a joke, you crazy son of a [bleep] ;)