Ignoring works... they say.

[Happysniff]

Nothing in the rest of your post made it sound like a joke except for the part about Lenin, and even then your first sentence still sounded like you were being serious ;)

[Dizzle229]

Well, I'm sorry if you misunderstood the post.

 

 

 

You will find that many of my first posts on a topic are a joke, followed by the actual post. Sorry if the line wasn't clear this time.

[Furah]

I threw a desk at someone once, which quite frankly, made it worse.

 

 

 

desks are nothing, me and my friends use those when we are mucking around :D

[fgfuyfyuiuy0]

Well, I know how you feel. I was bullied from Freshman and Sophomore year in high school. It got pretty bad, so I changed schools. It worked out. If it gets any worse, you could talk to your parents about transferring schools. It worked out for me :

[Rebdragon]

Confidence, damnit.

[dragoonson]

I threw a desk at someone once, which quite frankly, made it worse.

 

 

 

desks are nothing, me and my friends use those when we are mucking around :D

 

 

 

Ah desks.I poked a kid in the stomach with a desk leg once.My excuse:He said something about my colon.And HE was suspended.God I used to love that colon...

[BlueLancer]

Only someone who's naive or never personally got bullied would say "ignoring" is a viable solution. If you ever experienced bullying you'd see how incredibly dumb it is to snitch & tell the teacher/principal as well. These pieces of advice are usually given by teachers who don't have any kind of experience about bullying/being bullied or have lived in some sort of candy-cotton world during their own education.

 

 

 

(I know it's standard for teachers to encourage 'snitching', but it has never-ending social consequences for the kid, and will label you as untrustworthy/get the kid beaten up even worse)

 

 

 

Ignoring works only with a certain physical stature. Sad but true.. Look at how many people who get bullied are short kids. I doubt many of the over 6'1 ones get bullied a lot even if they're the new kid.

 

 

 

Someone mentioned this:

 

 

 

Find someone with strong moral values

 

 

 

Ok, might be a bit hard in some schools, but it helps to find someone who will keep your back. I protected younger kids from being bullied only because I hate injustice, not to gain glory/reputation/other things mentioned here.

 

 

 

Fighting back isn't about building permanent reputation. It's so you get left alone and can live & study normally. And when you fight back, you do risk losing, but at least you wont be called a coward and there's a much higher chance the bully will stop bullying you

[Zierro]

Ok, might be a bit hard in some schools, but it helps to find someone who will keep your back. I protected younger kids from being bullied only because I hate injustice, not to gain glory/reputation/other things mentioned here.

 

 

 

Fighting back isn't about building permanent reputation. It's so you get left alone and can live & study normally. And when you fight back, you do risk losing, but at least you wont be called a coward and there's a much higher chance the bully will stop bullying you

 

 

 

I agree with everything you said except about the reputation. Wouldn't you say, since bees are known to sting back, they have earned their species the reputation of an insect we should know better than to mess with?

 

 

 

Or do I just have an unclear understanding of what you meant by reputation? :-k

[BlueLancer]

It seems some people want to make a public spectacle while 'punching the bully back', to gain some sort of recognition, which goes beyond the purpose of just wanting to be left alone.

 

 

 

That kind of reputation seeking wont improve your standings unless the bully has seriously picked on you for years and the witnesses agree with beating him up (if he has beaten up multiple weaker students for example)

 

 

 

Also, encouraging violence in some situations seems like a social taboo. But when a bully gets physical, there's no other way out of it unless he gets caught and is transfered to another school :( Heard & seen too many sad cases where kids who snitched out got into even deeper trouble

[issy2]

Hi guys,

 

 

 

I've been teased, well more bullied, alot at school and my parents always say: "ignore them, eventually they'll stop" or "Go to your tutor and let him talk to them". And i think why still saying that b*llsh*t, because it won't work. I've talked with my tutor like 20 times. I've ignored many times. 1 time when I was ignoring some of those people from my class I became so angry. I can't ignore people if they are sitting like almost next to me talking crap and stuff about me. It was horrible, but i want to know your thoughts about this.

 

 

 

~Gehackte

 

 

 

I've been teased alot in the past, I know how you feel. The problem is, people always say - "Just ignore them" because they're assuming that if you don't, you'll be up in arms, yelling, getting violent, which would be equally useless. The trick is to find the right balance, the mid-way point - don't let them walk all over you, but don't get angry. Responding with jokes or in some way making their remarks backfire and making them look like an idiot can help... but don't try and be funny if you're not, I made that mistake alot lol.

 

 

 

It's kind of hard to explain... Don't completely ignore them, but respond with something that'll shock them into silence. Obviously it upsets you - who wouldn't be upset by it - but act like it doesn't. Sorry that doesn't really make sense does it :oops:

[Solidus_77]

Only someone who's naive or never personally got bullied would say "ignoring" is a viable solution.

 

 

 

If so then would you explain why it's solved my problems once and for all? It's pretty obvious that ignoring is going to work. People tease and bully because they get a reaction. If you show no reaction, then they won't get anything out of you. Obviously they're going to try harder and harder, but if they get no reaction whatsoever they will eventually break and move on. It doesn't work if you suddenly explode at the end and it doesn't work if you make it so obvious that you're trying to avoid it. You just have to show no reaction whatsoever.

 

 

 

Oh yeah and for the record, I was among the tallest of the class but was still bullied around. Even when I fought back I can't take on a bunch of tough guys. I screwed up cause I reacted towards a ton of stuff. Once I stopped being so insecure, all the problems disappeared. Thus ignoring obviously works but only in specific context. I don't see why you think it's naive to think that way at all.

 

 

 

If you ever experienced bullying you'd see how incredibly dumb it is to snitch & tell the teacher/principal as well.

 

 

 

I thought so too, and when I tried it I faced with devastating consequences however if you'd read the thread, you'd have seen goddess gave an interesting example in which she told the teachers to prevent a bully situation and it ended very peacefully without any social destruction (which is usually the problem). So, once again, it's "incredibly dumb" in some circumstances but NOT in others.

 

 

 

These pieces of advice are usually given by teachers who don't have any kind of experience about bullying/being bullied or have lived in some sort of candy-cotton world during their own education.

 

 

 

It's part of the one-size-fits-all policy.

 

 

 

(I know it's standard for teachers to encourage 'snitching', but it has never-ending social consequences for the kid, and will label you as untrustworthy/get the kid beaten up even worse)

 

 

 

I agree, and that's exactly what happened to me. However apparently it doesn't always end like that.

 

 

 

Ignoring works only with a certain physical stature. Sad but true.. Look at how many people who get bullied are short kids. I doubt many of the over 6'1 ones get bullied a lot even if they're the new kid.

 

 

 

Wrong. It depends on how they react. I'm tall, and I use to react horribly to insults, get all defensive, make a big deal out of nothing. It was only after I ignored the insults that the problem disappeared. Physical bullying is a very different story but even then there are ways to avoid physical confrontation (which is another viable solution for some people).

[PizzaMan94]

when they are messing with you, just stand your ground, gather up all of the courage you can and say something along the lines of "Hey! f*** off!". and say it with a serious tone and look em strait in the eye. i don't look the strongest or the biggest but if you show that you aren't scared and show that you can be tough and serious they should leave you alone. and show no emotion other than pure hatred and anger. it works for me! then again i've trained myself to feel no fear and know that if things get rough, i can take care of it. (i look like i weigh 100 lbs, yet i weigh 175 and its mostly muscle.) also geta pic of the person teasing you and put it on a wall and try it. and if yo gave us an age, size and whatnot - i could help more.

[Rollyboy]

I rarely got bullied when i was in highschool - maybe just a few wise [wagon] comments.

 

 

 

If they start talking sh*t about you. Respond with something like "Haha your a funny c**t aren't you?"

 

Just show that you don't give a sh*t.

 

 

 

Body language and the way you respond is important.

 

People aren't dumb. They can tell when you are ignoring them, but can also see if their comments are getting to you. Don't let the comments get to you, again show them you don't give a sh*t.

 

 

 

Or do Muay Thai and start cracking some skulls.

[Tribal]

I can fight but at one point everyone can't fight, it's an acquired skill.

 

 

 

My suggestion? Walk up to the biggest bully there is, [rooster] back, and throw the hardest haymaker you can directly into his nose. He won't see it coming (Kinda a [bleep] move) but you'll gain the respect of the others after you make their 'leader' cry.

 

 

 

I had the bullying problem in elementary school but that ended once in middle school and I started clocking someone at the opening of their mouth. Got the reputation as the 'Crazy Jock' and it all ended. Then high school everyone finally came to realize we could finally be friends, lol. Graduated this past year and heading to Rutgers to play baseball.

 

 

 

Just fight the bully.

 

 

 

"The way I see it, everyone takes a beating sometime" - Good Fellas.

 

 

 

 

 

Hope I helped.

[Nadril]

It seems some people want to make a public spectacle while 'punching the bully back', to gain some sort of recognition, which goes beyond the purpose of just wanting to be left alone.

 

 

 

That kind of reputation seeking wont improve your standings unless the bully has seriously picked on you for years and the witnesses agree with beating him up (if he has beaten up multiple weaker students for example)

 

 

 

Also, encouraging violence in some situations seems like a social taboo. But when a bully gets physical, there's no other way out of it unless he gets caught and is transfered to another school :( Heard & seen too many sad cases where kids who snitched out got into even deeper trouble

 

 

 

The only problem with trying to make a fight with a bully public is that chances are, if you're getting bullied, you aren't exactly that threatening. It might just end up embarrassing you if you throw some weak punch at him. :P Of course if you have the strength go for it.

 

 

 

 

 

I don't really have any advice though as I was never really bullied in school. I mean, in elementary and middle school I was friends with a lot of the tougher kids in the class and then I just generally kind of did my own thing. :P Then in high school I ended up hanging out with a bunch of juniors and seniors my first year, just because my friend's (who was still in 8th grade) sister was a junior then. I had just moved there so didn't know anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

I do think a lot of not getting bullied just happens to be knowing the right people.

[Lateralus]

It seems some people want to make a public spectacle while 'punching the bully back', to gain some sort of recognition, which goes beyond the purpose of just wanting to be left alone.

 

 

 

That kind of reputation seeking wont improve your standings unless the bully has seriously picked on you for years and the witnesses agree with beating him up (if he has beaten up multiple weaker students for example)

 

 

 

Also, encouraging violence in some situations seems like a social taboo. But when a bully gets physical, there's no other way out of it unless he gets caught and is transfered to another school :( Heard & seen too many sad cases where kids who snitched out got into even deeper trouble

 

 

 

The only problem with trying to make a fight with a bully public is that chances are, if you're getting bullied, you aren't exactly that threatening. It might just end up embarrassing you if you throw some weak punch at him. :P Of course if you have the strength go for it.

 

 

 

When I was in high school there was a guy who used to always get bullied. One day at lunch I was sitting in the cafeteria, and I turned around, saw the guy tap the bully on the shoulder to get his attention, and then he melted him in the face with a lunch tray. Not any kind of advice I would give, but still pretty damn cool for a little guy.

[Nadril]

When I was in high school there was a guy who used to always get bullied. One day at lunch I was sitting in the cafeteria, and I turned around, saw the guy tap the bully on the shoulder to get his attention, and then he melted him in the face with a lunch tray. Not any kind of advice I would give, but still pretty damn cool for a little guy.

 

 

 

When all else fails, innovate. :P

[Kiriyama]

It seems some people want to make a public spectacle while 'punching the bully back', to gain some sort of recognition, which goes beyond the purpose of just wanting to be left alone.

 

 

 

That kind of reputation seeking wont improve your standings unless the bully has seriously picked on you for years and the witnesses agree with beating him up (if he has beaten up multiple weaker students for example)

 

 

 

Also, encouraging violence in some situations seems like a social taboo. But when a bully gets physical, there's no other way out of it unless he gets caught and is transfered to another school :( Heard & seen too many sad cases where kids who snitched out got into even deeper trouble

 

 

 

The only problem with trying to make a fight with a bully public is that chances are, if you're getting bullied, you aren't exactly that threatening. It might just end up embarrassing you if you throw some weak punch at him. :P Of course if you have the strength go for it.

 

 

 

When I was in high school there was a guy who used to always get bullied. One day at lunch I was sitting in the cafeteria, and I turned around, saw the guy tap the bully on the shoulder to get his attention, and then he melted him in the face with a lunch tray. Not any kind of advice I would give, but still pretty damn cool for a little guy.

 

 

 

Well, thats the sort of kid who will get the [cabbage] kicked out of him when he doesn't have a weapon at hand.

[ididnotlol]

In my own experiance (been bullied alot actually), everything always fails for me... exept violence.

 

At one piont it became so annoying, i punched someone so hard in the nose that - as one teacher put it "the nose had swollen twice its size." im quite sure she was exagerating (sp?) but it worked.

 

 

 

I am being bullied by someone smaller than me atm, I dont hit them because it makes me look like the bully, and ignoring and telling has not worked. I have been patient, but seeing as the last day of school is comming up... i may just get a lil violent...

[ThurinEthir]

 

When I was in high school there was a guy who used to always get bullied. One day at lunch I was sitting in the cafeteria, and I turned around, saw the guy tap the bully on the shoulder to get his attention, and then he melted him in the face with a lunch tray. Not any kind of advice I would give, but still pretty damn cool for a little guy.

 

Heh, sounds like something I almost did. One time, while I was waiting in line to pay for my lunch (At school). The biggest bully in the school (Whom basically all my friends hate) starts to pick on a few of us, and in my head, I'm contemplating what would happen if a fight broke out. Well, I thought about shoving my lunch in his face. It was meatloaf and mashed potatoes... :|

 

But really, I didn't. Kind of glad I didn't. Though I did find out that my friend shoved his face (The bully's) into the water fountain.

 

 

 

Though this just shows...If you're desperate enough, you'll find a way.

[adam_ross0]

Ignoring works sometimes. It never worked for me (elementary school here), and I had to settle it the hard way. One of them decided to smart off to me a lot that day, so he started yelling. I told him to come to my face, he did, and so I busted him in the nose.

 

 

 

[hide=Short Story]If you don't feel confident about it, Martial Arts, Wrestling, Boxing, that sort of thing is great. Back in the 6th grade, there were a few guys doing their routine of taunting me and my friends (after I fought the guy; they kind of ignored me after that). Well, one of my friends told them to go away. So, they started shoving him and stuff. Then he said something, and after his friends had left, a guy stayed and started to threaten my friend because of what he had said. Back then, he was a little guy, so he was a target pretty much. Well, this guy took a swing, my friend jumped around and dodged it, tripped the guy, and when he got up, spun around and put his elbow into the guy's nose. Really hard. Knocked him off of his feet and down the small incline they were on. He got up, and his mouth and nose were covered in blood were he was hit so hard. Turns out my friend had been in Martial Arts for a few years. It helped him ;)[/hide]

 

 

 

Yeah. Ignoring works sometimes. Going to a higher authority almost never works. At least, it never worked for me. The counselor always said, "Well, just try to get along and don't fight . . .", and the principal always said, "Get over it. Don't fight.", and the teachers always pretended they would talk to them but never said a word. If you're in that situation, it's best just to handle it yourself in my opinion.

[megakiller32]

I know its difficult, the amount of bullying i received when i was younger, by immature failures and [developmentally delayed]s, because my name is Gabriel, therefore these morons said my name just to emphasise the "Gay" part. Because i was young it was really annoying, and the tutor also, did absolute bugger all. So it kept going, until i turned around, and punched someone in the face thus breaking thier nose.

 

And more recently, some stupid [bleep]tard spent almost all day when i was at my friends house making anti-semitic jokes, and being jewish and all, i found this to get extremely offensive. I asked numerous times why he was doing it, its not funny etc, and warned him, proper warning saying i'd do something on the third time. On the second time, my friend pointed out to him, that time i broke someones nose, so he didnt believe me, pushed the boundary, and knowing Karate etc i taught him a valuable lesson about racism. I'm not a doctor, but lets just say this guy has problems urinating for atleast a week.

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, back to the main point, theres ignoring them until they stop, and rise above it, and ignoring thier existence entirely. The second one works, the first one does not.

[bloodyhatchetbear]

My first question I have to ask is what grade you're in. Usually that'll tell you what kind of bully they are.

 

 

 

I only have ever been "bullied" once, and that was in 5th grade (wow that was a long time ago), but it stopped when my older brother witnessed it and beat them bloody. Of course, he was also 3 times the other kids size, so that didn't help. I've never been bullied since. Never mess with the fat guy's little sister har har.

 

 

 

Here's another scenario. My little brother is 8, and was bullied all the time by this one kid on his bus. The one time that the kid went too far and hit Hunter (that's my little bro), my mother stepped in, because the bully was a spoiled rotten little brat. When she went to talk to the kid's father, she scared the little brat so bad, he almost wet himself. That in combination with reverse psychology helped to get at least some sense into that little brat. BTW Hunter never did tell any teaher, my mother did that instead, when Hunter refused to do it.

 

 

 

It really is the age of the kid that matters.

 

 

 

I will say this though, try reverse psychology. It works better than ignoring the kid.

[Saru Inc]

I used to be picked on a lot, buy not really anymore, I'm usually the most popular kid in class, and I "fake" bully people around, they know I'm kidding though.

 

 

 

And well, really, ignoring only works for some bullies, tbh. It's the truth. :(

[Roseiah]

When I was in primary school I used to get bullied a lot because I was really quiet. I used to ignore them for years and they still carried on. I got into secondary school, made new amazing friends, boosted my confidence and turned around and told people who annoyed me exactly what I thought of them. Even though I was never physically violent I used to stand up to anyone who tried to bully me. After a few months all my problems stopped.

 

 

 

Ignoring didn't work for me, if it didn't work for you, get your friends and play the bullies at their own game. Just remember to stop when they stop.