"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Mellez]

Few more things. I've known him for a year this November, and he hasn't lied to me once.

 

 

 

Yeah, that may sound like "Oh, you THINK he hasn't lied to you, but acutally he probably has." and stuff. But he's been honest about everything I've asked him, and I've been honest to him about everything he's asked me.

 

 

 

He would prefer it if I was 18, yeah. But you can't change what you can't control.

 

He knows he could be sent to prison, but I guess he's willing to take that risk, seeing as we've been going out for 5 months on November 9th.

 

 

 

I may be 15, but I'm a mature 15 year old. I had to defend myself since my mom passed away when I was 10. I've learned to stand on my own two feet. I'm independent, I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship, and I know that he's 23, honest, caring, loving and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

[tennisnick12]

I trust him more than I trust anyone. And he's not a pedo, I got to know him first and yeah...

 

Can I ask an honest question, and I'm not trying to take the Michael out of you, I'm genuinely making a point: Have you ever felt this way about someone before?

 

 

 

If this is the first person you've ever loved in that special way, how do you know what you're feeling is altruistic? You've got no feeling to compare it against. What if you're mistaking trust for something completely different? That's why 15 year olds need to go out with other 15 year olds, before they throw their lot in with someone older who can use that confusion to manipulate them.

 

 

 

If you seriously want my advice, stop this and go out with someone your own age. Be 15 and just have fun in life, like you're meant to at that age. You'll be much happier for it in the long run, I guarantee you.

 

I don't date people younger than 17, they're just too immature.

 

And to answer your question: No. I haven't felt like this about anyone before.

 

I started dating when I was 12, went out with a 14 year old. Big mistake.

 

I've been out with 14,17,19,21,22 and 23 year olds before.

 

I think I know what I'm getting myself into.

 

There is no way to put this nicely, but you are in no way old enough. First I would like to ask if your parents got divorced? or if one of them left or died? Or was your dad working a lot? It is really sad, but it sounds like you lacked a strong male influence in your life and you are trying to replace that with your boyfriends. I think their is no way you should be dating anyone over 18 and if you truly love him. You will realize that if you get caught having sex, you might get your boyfriend imprisioned for a very long time.

[tennisnick12]

I knew it...I know my post was after hers, but I was writing mine before I saw hers. You could tell by how she was acting that she had lost some kind of paternal influence. It is sad that she will be scared for life from her moms death and affect her relationships for life. If I was you "Bad Babe" I would go see a pshychologist and see what his advice about this 23 year old is and how this might be caused by your moms death.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I may be 15, but I'm a mature 15 year old. I had to defend myself since my mom passed away when I was 10. I've learned to stand on my own two feet. I'm independent, I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship, and I know that he's 23, honest, caring, loving and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

 

I've news for you hun. My mum died when I was 9. I had to help bring up my younger brother and sister while my Dad went to work for £20 a week just so we could survive. I also thought, at the age of 16, that made me responsible and mature enough to handle a committed and sustained relationship - a "proper" relationship, was the way I saw it.

 

 

 

I was completely wrong. I got three months into the relationship and I couldn't tell black from white when it came to how I felt. I felt incredibly insecure and started acting irrationally. Put simply, I was in over my head. Me and that girl were totally honest with each other and we were also incredibly close friends. We no longer speak to each other (I doubt we ever will, that's how bad it got), and the relationship had an impact on both of us.

 

 

 

I'm not telling you what to think. What you're feeling is totally normal, I accept that as someone who has felt the same way (albeit with someone my own age, not older). I'm personally telling you though - this is not a good idea.

[Lenticular_J]

Few more things. I've known him for a year this November, and he hasn't lied to me once.

 

 

 

Yeah, that may sound like "Oh, you THINK he hasn't lied to you, but acutally he probably has." and stuff. But he's been honest about everything I've asked him, and I've been honest to him about everything he's asked me.

 

 

 

He would prefer it if I was 18, yeah. But you can't change what you can't control.

 

He knows he could be sent to prison, but I guess he's willing to take that risk, seeing as we've been going out for 5 months on November 9th.

 

 

 

I may be 15, but I'm a mature 15 year old. I had to defend myself since my mom passed away when I was 10. I've learned to stand on my own two feet. I'm independent, I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship, and I know that he's 23, honest, caring, loving and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

 

Have you or have you not met him in person? This is a major factor in my rapist detector.

 

 

 

This really is likely being caused by your mother's death. I've met people whose parents died when they were that age, and it's some of the saddest stuff in the world. They carry the world on their shoulders, they grow up too fast. They don't take care of enjoying life.

 

 

 

I know it sucks to be told this, but have you ever talked to a psychologist about your mother's death? That's a very troubling ordeal, and at that age...

 

 

 

You should really just find someone to talk to, even if it's just a friend. It helps a lot.

[Rebdragon]

Few more things. I've known him for a year this November, and he hasn't lied to me once.

 

 

 

Yeah, that may sound like "Oh, you THINK he hasn't lied to you, but acutally he probably has." and stuff. But he's been honest about everything I've asked him, and I've been honest to him about everything he's asked me.

 

 

 

He would prefer it if I was 18, yeah. But you can't change what you can't control.

 

He knows he could be sent to prison, but I guess he's willing to take that risk, seeing as we've been going out for 5 months on November 9th.

 

 

 

I may be 15, but I'm a mature 15 year old. I had to defend myself since my mom passed away when I was 10. I've learned to stand on my own two feet. I'm independent, I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship, and I know that he's 23, honest, caring, loving and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

 

You make a good argument but, regardless, the quadrant of my brain designed solely for BS detection is going off. I have no idea why it's going off, what point is causing it to go off, none of that. All I can say is that it is.

[tennisnick12]

How you describe the guy is as if he's from a fairy tail. It reminds me of storybook I would read to my little sister describing the prince in shining armour. Either that is how he is acting towards you or that is just how you are picturing him. I will make a guarantee that their are no 23 year old guys who are not thinking about sex.

[The_Who]

Few more things. I've known him for a year this November, and he hasn't lied to me once.

 

 

 

Yeah, that may sound like "Oh, you THINK he hasn't lied to you, but acutally he probably has." and stuff. But he's been honest about everything I've asked him, and I've been honest to him about everything he's asked me.

 

 

 

He would prefer it if I was 18, yeah. But you can't change what you can't control.

 

He knows he could be sent to prison, but I guess he's willing to take that risk, seeing as we've been going out for 5 months on November 9th.

 

 

 

I may be 15, but I'm a mature 15 year old. I had to defend myself since my mom passed away when I was 10. I've learned to stand on my own two feet. I'm independent, I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship, and I know that he's 23, honest, caring, loving and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

 

I hate to say it, but this relationship sounds like a bad idea. In one of the many FBI seminars I've had to sit through in my time with a government internship, this was one of the topics that was discussed. These types of relationships where one party is under the legal age tend not to be what they seem. I've heard cases where men have "courted" underage girls for several years before assaulting them and leaving them like used garbage.

 

 

 

I know this may sound harsh, but nine times out of ten, the relationships turn out sour. You said you've known the guy for a year, but like others have said, is this your first experience with "true love"? I understand that you may be more mature for your age than the average 15 year-old, but there's a big difference between 15 and 23.

 

 

 

You say that he would never hurt you, but it's impossible to tell what his true intentions are, regardless of what he says. Many predators sweet-talk their victims into a false sense of security, only to leave them destitute and used. I sincerely hope that doesn't happen in your case, but I hope you consider where we're all coming from that this whole situation seems sketchy at best.

[Sir_Redhead]

*listens to the sky* can you hear that...is shouts PETIFIAL!!

 

 

 

You getting yourself into a bad situation. You say he has mever lied to you, because he said he was being honest. which is think is a whole lotta BS

 

You relize, him "saying" he is telling the "truth" means absolutely nothing. You think you know him, but you don't. I bet a large invisible sum of money that he is isn't telling the "truth" over whatever it is he is telling you.

 

 

 

I am saying this because of the whole distance factor and the fact you have never met face to face. I reccomed getting outa that situation before it turns into something bad that you may regret.

[deloriagod]

Few more things. I've known him for a year this November, and he hasn't lied to me once.

 

 

 

Yeah, that may sound like "Oh, you THINK he hasn't lied to you, but acutally he probably has." and stuff. But he's been honest about everything I've asked him, and I've been honest to him about everything he's asked me.

 

 

 

He would prefer it if I was 18, yeah. But you can't change what you can't control.

 

He knows he could be sent to prison, but I guess he's willing to take that risk, seeing as we've been going out for 5 months on November 9th.

 

 

 

I may be 15, but I'm a mature 15 year old. I had to defend myself since my mom passed away when I was 10. I've learned to stand on my own two feet. I'm independent, I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship, and I know that he's 23, honest, caring, loving and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

 

 

 

Oh god, don't kid yourself. Everybody lies, there's no nicer way of putting it. I treat my gf like a queen but there are things she doesn't need to know. Imo it's easier for a guy to lie then to try to explain some things. It's probably the same way for girls but don't trick yourself into thinking he's 100% honest. If you really think he is, you're not as mature as you think and you're very naive. Hell, you're 15 years old. My gf just turned 16 (I'm 18) and she's fairly immature compared to the girls I'm used to dating. And I like your little list in the last paragraph. It seems to me any girl in a good relationship thinks exactly the same thing of the bf. Interesting concept :-k

 

 

 

PETIFIAL!!

 

 

 

For God's sake, if you can't spell it don't say it. It's "pedophile" in case you're wondering.

[I_am_Geed]

PETIFIAL!!

 

learn to spell it? its pedophile

[Zierro]

Few more things. I've known him for a year this November, and he hasn't lied to me once.

 

 

 

Yeah, that may sound like "Oh, you THINK he hasn't lied to you, but acutally he probably has." and stuff. But he's been honest about everything I've asked him, and I've been honest to him about everything he's asked me.

 

 

 

There's no way to be 100% sure of that. This might sound harsh but Deloria is right - people lie in relationships a lot.

 

 

 

I may be 15, but I'm a mature 15 year old. I had to defend myself since my mom passed away when I was 10. I've learned to stand on my own two feet. I'm independent, I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship, and I know that he's 23, honest, caring, loving and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

 

 

 

Honestly, tell me how many people you have met that straight-up told you that they were immature? Not many right? Face it, you still have a lot of growing up to do. I used to think I was fairly mature when I was 15, but now that I'm almost 18 I realize how immature I was to even think that. Even at my age, I know that I still have plenty of growing up to do in my future.

 

 

 

Don't take this as an insult. I'm just saying you have a long life to live and it's silly to think you're ready for anything while you're still a teenager.

[aquariusman]

Yeah, just adding to the pool of "End it" ' s.

 

 

 

End it. Or at least tell us something about yourself (i.e. whether you are shy, you general social status, etc.). Age may not define maturity, but it is still a factor. On top of that, just like being cool, if you have to tell someone you are mature, you aren't. You're a 15 year-old girl, at least date someone somewhat close to you age. Oh, and I've found that long-distance relationships may work sometimes, but cross-world relationships are stretching it. Mainly because instant-messaging and e-mail are one of the worst forms of communications.

 

 

 

I might end up posting here sometime, but at the moment I can see why I have no active relationship, and probably no chance. Football, hockey, and school are taking up almost every inch of my social time. School does not count as social time because I have the same set of classmates for these first two years of high school, the downfall of specialized programs. Ah well, our team just won the Regional championship and is headed off for the City's 8-)

 

 

 

Just because it has happened to me (More than once) in the past...

 

I like a girl.

 

I find out a friend likes the same girl.

 

Girl is single, and according to best friend, does not "like" anyone.

 

What is the best course of action?

[dragoonson]

 

Just because it has happened to me (More than once) in the past...

 

I like a girl.

 

I find out a friend likes the same girl.

 

Girl is single, and according to best friend, does not "like" anyone.

 

What is the best course of action?

 

 

 

Start with not calling dibs.Its immature and the girl (9 times out of 9) does not appreciate it.

 

 

 

Talk it out with your friend and ensure that it does not come down to competition.Well,bad competition.Friendly's fine.If she does not "like" anyone just talk to her,find out her interests and make an effort to do/buy things that please her,but don't change your life.She'll probably notice if she even considered you a friend,and might slowly fall for you.

 

 

 

Don't we all hate these situations?At least 75% of my relationships start that way and frankly it gets old =P.

[Kurda]

I don't usually open up for these sort of things but at the moment i'm feeling quite confuzzled about this sorta thing.

 

 

 

Firstly, i'm not the most attractive guy i know, so i thought i'd let you know that But really, there's this girl in my year who i like, but really don't know whether or not she does... She messes about with me, but when she wants to she can get a bit horrible, a couple mild insults but the next day she can be fine :? . Is she being friendly or what? I think i'll make an [wagon] out of myself if i try to ask her because i'm quite self concious, about my body and what people will think of me. Help? :(

[deloriagod]

 

Firstly, i'm not the most attractive guy i know, so i thought i'd let you know that But really, there's this girl in my year who i like, but really don't know whether or not she does... She messes about with me, but when she wants to she can get a bit horrible, a couple mild insults but the next day she can be fine :? . Is she being friendly or what? I think i'll make an [wagon] out of myself if i try to ask her because i'm quite self concious, about my body and what people will think of me. Help? :(

 

 

 

A girl I used to date used little things like picking on me or harmless arguments over nothing as her way of flirting. I can't tell you for sure if the girl you speak of is doing the same thing but if you like her it's probably better to see what can become of it than not. Don't worry about making an [wagon] of yourself. Part of love is taking risks.

[Kurda]

 

Firstly, i'm not the most attractive guy i know, so i thought i'd let you know that But really, there's this girl in my year who i like, but really don't know whether or not she does... She messes about with me, but when she wants to she can get a bit horrible, a couple mild insults but the next day she can be fine :? . Is she being friendly or what? I think i'll make an [wagon] out of myself if i try to ask her because i'm quite self concious, about my body and what people will think of me. Help? :(

 

 

 

A girl I used to date used little things like picking on me or harmless arguments over nothing as her way of flirting. I can't tell you for sure if the girl you speak of is doing the same thing but if you like her it's probably better to see what can become of it than not. Don't worry about making an [wagon] of yourself. Part of love is taking risks.

 

 

 

I should have also mentioned, her friend keeps making small remarks that she likes me, nothing big, they're like subliminal but it just adds to my confusion. This one emotion really can mess with your head. :? :wall:

[Ginger_Warrior]

I don't usually open up for these sort of things but at the moment i'm feeling quite confuzzled about this sorta thing.

 

 

 

Firstly, i'm not the most attractive guy i know, so i thought i'd let you know that But really, there's this girl in my year who i like, but really don't know whether or not she does... She messes about with me, but when she wants to she can get a bit horrible, a couple mild insults but the next day she can be fine :? . Is she being friendly or what? I think i'll make an [wagon] out of myself if i try to ask her because i'm quite self concious, about my body and what people will think of me. Help? :(

 

See, that's weird from where I'm sitting. People don't just insult people when they get pissy and turn up the next day and pretend everything's fine. You need to have some confidence in the other person that they won't take it the wrong way to get away with it. That should tell you something about how she trusts you with a wider range of her emotions.

 

 

 

Whether or not she likes you is another matter. I'm not a mind-reader, especially not over the Internet. Clearly you missed the radical new buzzword around here - CONFIDENCE!!!

[justin_m23]

I'm going to go against the grain and bring in a new word. Testicles. I think in reality you'll need both that and confidence.

[Yomyth105]

well if she makes fun of u in a mean sense as her way of flirting that is just really stupid. notice how its not uncommon but stupid. she really thinks that making fun of u is gonna get u then that is a joke. i would personally not even go out with her but with another girl and then it will show her that shes [developmentally delayed]ed. i mean if u ask her it will seem very awkward if she really doesnt like but only makes fun of u. but on the bright side she might take u seriously.

[justin_m23]

If she does like him, how would she learn from him going for another girl? Unless he spells out the reasons to her, she's going to place the blame elsewhere and learn nothing. So any motives involving revenge of that nature is purely a waste of time.

[Ginger_Warrior]

well if she makes fun of u in a mean sense as her way of flirting that is just really stupid. notice how its not uncommon but stupid. she really thinks that making fun of u is gonna get u then that is a joke. i would personally not even go out with her but with another girl and then it will show her that shes [developmentally delayed]. i mean if u ask her it will seem very awkward if she really doesnt like but only makes fun of u. but on the bright side she might take u seriously.

 

I'm gonna prove I'm into you... by going out with someone else.

 

 

 

I think your logic gets a C-.

[justin_m23]

Woah, C- is generous if you ask me.

[deloriagod]

well if she makes fun of u in a mean sense as her way of flirting that is just really stupid. notice how its not uncommon but stupid. she really thinks that making fun of u is gonna get u then that is a joke. i would personally not even go out with her but with another girl and then it will show her that shes [developmentally delayed]. i mean if u ask her it will seem very awkward if she really doesnt like but only makes fun of u. but on the bright side she might take u seriously.

 

 

 

Cut your wrists right now. You must be 10 years old or just an idiot. Just because you think something is stupid doesn't mean that it is. But I suppose that doesn't work for everything since it's proven that you truly are stupid.

[Lenticular_J]

You know what? To hell with confidence. Our new best advice is henceforth:

 

 

 

How you doin'?