Should I meddle in someone else's relationship if I think them being separate is for the better? In short, I have a friend who has always been in a bad relationship for as long as I've known her. She's never in an abusive relationships exactly, she just dates people who aren't very likable ([wagon]). She'll fight and argue with them and it's not uncommon for her to be put into a bad mood of her boyfriend. This usually goes on for a year and half, then they break up and she finds someone else who's only slightly different, but no better than the first. She knows her past relationships have been bad, but I don't know what she thinks about her current relationship.

 

 

 

My question is, should I confront her about this?

 

Seems to me like she's in a bad-boy phase, like most girls will be. I don't know if you should confront her - she will be very angry. You could always pull some extremely complicated plan to prove that her boyfriend's an [wagon], but I'm not sure if 90's sitcoms are the best for plan advice.

Should I meddle in someone else's relationship if I think them being separate is for the better? In short, I have a friend who has always been in a bad relationship for as long as I've known her. She's never in an abusive relationships exactly, she just dates people who aren't very likable ([wagon]). She'll fight and argue with them and it's not uncommon for her to be put into a bad mood of her boyfriend. This usually goes on for a year and half, then they break up and she finds someone else who's only slightly different, but no better than the first. She knows her past relationships have been bad, but I don't know what she thinks about her current relationship.

 

 

 

My question is, should I confront her about this?

 

 

 

I'm going to say that its really what you feel you can do.

 

 

 

Would she actually listen to you, or will she just disregard what you say? I think that it also depends on how often they put her in a bad mood, or how often they argue. Hell, it may even be that she starts the arguements.

 

 

 

So essentially please tell us:

 

 

 

If you think she'd listen.

 

How often she is in a bad mood.

 

How often she argues.

 

Whether you think it is her starting the arguements.

Seems to me like she's in a bad-boy phase, like most girls will be. I don't know if you should confront her - she will be very angry. You could always pull some extremely complicated plan to prove that her boyfriend's an [wagon], but I'm not sure if 90's sitcoms are the best for plan advice.

 

She's been in a bad-boy phase for about 5 years then. If only sitcom plans could work...

 

 

 

I'm going to say that its really what you feel you can do.

 

 

 

Would she actually listen to you, or will she just disregard what you say? I think that it also depends on how often they put her in a bad mood, or how often they argue. Hell, it may even be that she starts the arguements.

 

 

 

So essentially please tell us:

 

 

 

If you think she'd listen.

 

How often she is in a bad mood.

 

How often she argues.

 

Whether you think it is her starting the arguements.

 

She'd listen and she would be hurt. She's in a bad mood for a little while at least every other day (usually more). Currently, they've been arguing a bit less, but it's usually her who creates a conflict out of an argument. They both start arguements. I'm around them a lot and usually her starting an argument or conflict out of a situation is semi-justified (obviously, there is some over-reaction) since the boyfriend really is an [wagon].

 

 

 

A few more info tidbits: They've been going out for over a year and a half. Me and her are fairly close and I'm somewhat concerned she may get the wrong idea if I confront her (as in, I'd like to date her, which I don't).

Then I'd advise you to try talking to her.

 

 

 

Say to her that, as a friend, you hate seeing her in a bad mood. Say to her that from what you see (the arguements and how often they are/why they start) show that it isn't a healthy relationship.

 

 

 

Though you might want to expand.

Should I meddle in someone else's relationship if I think them being separate is for the better? In short, I have a friend who has always been in a bad relationship for as long as I've known her. She's never in an abusive relationships exactly, she just dates people who aren't very likable ([wagon]). She'll fight and argue with them and it's not uncommon for her to be put into a bad mood of her boyfriend. This usually goes on for a year and half, then they break up and she finds someone else who's only slightly different, but no better than the first. She knows her past relationships have been bad, but I don't know what she thinks about her current relationship.

 

 

 

My question is, should I confront her about this?

 

 

 

I've found relationship habits/tendencies to be far too embedded into one's personality to get somebody to change them. It's like trying to change a person's favorite food or music genre. There's just something irrational about love I guess. You can tell her, but I doubt you will see much of a change. It's always worth a try though, unless you have a lot to lose.

i'm in a dilemma, theres this girl in my class that i really like, and i think she likes me to, but i am not certain and i don't want to confront her about it because i don't want our friendship to be broken because we are very good friends, plz help :ohnoes:

i'm in a dilemma, theres this girl in my class that i really like, and i think she likes me to, but i am not certain and i don't want to confront her about it because i don't want our friendship to be broken because we are very good friends, plz help :ohnoes:

 

Friend zoned. Be sure she likes you the same way before making your move.

i'm in a dilemma, theres this girl in my class that i really like, and i think she likes me to, but i am not certain and i don't want to confront her about it because i don't want our friendship to be broken because we are very good friends, plz help :ohnoes:

 

Friend zoned. Be sure she likes you the same way before making your move.

 

agreed

wait, so how do i find out that she likes me??

wait, so how do i find out that she likes me??

 

i'd say get friends of yours/hers to find out, or just ask her strait up...

 

but thats just me...

Should I meddle in someone else's relationship if I think them being separate is for the better? In short, I have a friend who has always been in a bad relationship for as long as I've known her. She's never in an abusive relationships exactly, she just dates people who aren't very likable ([wagon]). She'll fight and argue with them and it's not uncommon for her to be put into a bad mood of her boyfriend. This usually goes on for a year and half, then they break up and she finds someone else who's only slightly different, but no better than the first. She knows her past relationships have been bad, but I don't know what she thinks about her current relationship.

 

 

 

My question is, should I confront her about this?

 

 

 

Sure, tell her what you think but just be there for her when she falls. You can't make people understand and realize what they're doing unless they want to. I have a girlfriend who constantly chooses bad relationships and I always let her know what I think but then I just shut my mouth and support her when she needs it. Once he hit her and she didn't want to do anything about it because she 'loved him so much' and so I took photos of them, dated it, recorded it and kept a hold of it in case she needed it later. Then he stole her tv so she was lucky I held on to her receipt so she wouldn't lose it. Just be one step ahead and be there for her when she crashes and burns. Sometimes I wish people would realize what the hell they're doing but love makes you put up with some really stupid things. And it would be rather hypocritical of me not to mention I've been there way too many times. But in the long run those people who put up with "some really stupid things" learn lessons the hard way and become wiser in time. I guess that's why people who "can't do", "teach". They're no longer together (it took 6 years) but being that one step ahead got the loser the justice he deserved.

You know, if you stop being a loser you'll stop being a loser.

 

 

 

Fact.

 

 

 

You know, it's kinda hard to believe someone like you even tries to be cool on the interwebz.

Rebdragon is like space matter, he doesn't need to be "cool" because everything he does "just is" ;)

Thanks for the advice everyone! I'll talk to her soon, but they'll be celebrating an anniversary in a week, so I should probably wait so I don't create an unpleasant situation.

You know, if you stop being a loser you'll stop being a loser.

 

 

 

Fact.

 

 

 

You know, it's kinda hard to believe someone like you even tries to be cool on the interwebz.

 

 

 

Anime is the quintessence of cool.

Well, this is just a related note involving coolness, there appears to be a link in my signature that will teach these guys how to be cool. Hrm. Sorry, had to. I love it.

 

 

 

Quoi, yeah, waiting would probably be best. Boy, a year and a half right? It'd suck if he proposed.

You know, if you stop being a loser you'll stop being a loser.

 

 

 

Fact.

 

 

 

You know, it's kinda hard to believe someone like you even tries to be cool on the interwebz.

 

... thank... you?

You know, if you stop being a loser you'll stop being a loser.

 

 

 

Fact.

 

 

 

You know, it's kinda hard to believe someone like you even tries to be cool on the interwebz.

 

... thank... you?

 

 

 

That is a formal way to say you're an idiot sometimes.

... okay?

 

 

 

Who are you?

 

By the way, good to see you peterpan! =D

 

Thanks, it's nice to see you as well. :)

 

 

 

In order to fill this post with at least some value...

 

[hide=my month old situation]I have a situation I'm quite confused with... maybe someone here can help me unravel this.

 

 

 

Me and this girl have been going on and off for about a two months now. It began with just becoming good friends, to flirting, to "talking". (like most relationships start i guess :P ). After we began talking, we began acting like a couple for the first few days then -i have no idea what triggered this- she just acted like a friend the next week. And it doesn't seem like she has just friend zoned me because we've still been flirting and stuff. Another thing that has me totally lost is that our aim/text conversations seem really dry and so do a lot of our conversations at school. But then when we get away from school/texting our conversations flow really well and I really enjoy having them. She definitely acts like she's interested in something more because she texts me about every other day (if she doesn't, i usually text her). Another thing that goes on is that she seems to like me a lot more after we've been out with friends and then it goes downhill from there. Any suggestions? :?[/hide]

 

 

 

Just gonna post a update if anyone was caring because I hate when people don't come back and update. Basically we are doing the same thing except a lot slower (like the "talking" and friend phases last longer). One of my friends (told him not to, but he did anyway) was talking to her about it and she basically said that i'm cute ( :wall:) but that i don't talk to her enough. I think we talk a fair amount though. It's also not helping that her best friend basically flirts with me all day and really gets in the way when we are talking. I don't need any advice or whatever (though it wouldn't hurt), just updating like I said earlier.

to the post above: why are you posting if you dont need advice?

 

 

 

anyways i will give you advice:

 

 

 

if she thinks you dont talk to her enough then her opinion counts even if u think u talk enough. girls never stop talking really so just go along with it. She seems like she likes you and thinks your cute. i dont know if you were thinking about this, but you might want to go a next step and ask her out.

He only posted to tell us how things are going regarding something he posted about.

 

 

 

Anyway, if you want some advice for the hell of it.

 

 

 

Try doing as she suggested and talking to her more. You may think you talk alot to each other, but she doesn't. Remember, talking may just be listening to her mostly.

 

 

 

And as for her friend, just politely ask her to stop. Nothing else can be done. Short of murder, but I'm not suggesting that.

You've also got to remember to be a little flirtatious otherwise she might either conisder you a non-potential partner (just a friend) or gay (seriously, for some reason being a shy, nice person classifies as "gay", I mean.. wtf... well that's just what I've experienced before).

 

 

 

Why is being classified as a "friend" a bad thing? Isn't it a good thing? It really depends on how you look at it... If you try hitting on someone whom considers you a close "friend", they will most likely find it awkward and not know what to say, then BANG! she pulls out the greatest weapon in her verbal arsenal, "Just friends", and you're toast...

 

 

 

Once you're classified as "friend", there's like... 5% chance you'll ever get to be with that girl, that's unless the girl likes you back like crazy, in which case you'll probably end up disappointing her because you can live up to her outrageous expectations.

 

 

 

If you DO find yourself in the"friend zone", the best thing you can do is just keep away from her... for a LONG TIME. The aim is to try and become a "stranger", seem like you've changed. Although, like I said... 5% chance...

 

 

 

All in all, it's a little creepy that you might let your life revolve around a girl so heavily, it's probably best to move on. (I alknowledge this can be very hard, especially if you're in constant contact... when just the sight of her causes you to blissfully fall to pieces.)

Thanks guys.

Ok guys, I'm really confused. I just told a girl I liked her and she told me she liked me too over IM. Thing is, I'm not sure if I should believe her or not (and I really want to). My friend's told me the same thing was said to him by the same girl. So, either one of them is lying (or both), or she likes both of us, or she's messing with me. Or we really do like each other. What's my next move? -.-