"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Ax600]

ok, this is not about any previous posts ive had

 

 

 

[hide=my story]Ok heres the story: about a year ago, I started dating (lets call her sydney). we were great together. we had been dating for like 6 months, until I had to move. Before I left I told her I loved her and she said it back. But, 2 weeks after i moved, had to move farther away. We told each other we'd stay together. but after a while i find out shes been cheating on me, so i call her and we broke up. im not gonna lie, that really hurt me. I really loved her. after about 2 months i moved to FL. after about 4 months we move back to town i was originally in. I meet back up with Sydney and she says she wants me back. I want to, but i still live like 25-30 miles away. I dont even know if I should take her back.[/hide]

 

A lil help plz...

[Kiriyama]

But... you're going out with someone at the moment, correct?

 

 

 

[bleep] Sydney. She had a chance, and she cheated on you.

[Zierro]

I agree with Sword. You don't want to get involved with a cheater. Even if she only cheated on you because of distance, that doesn't make it right. It just shows that the relationship is conditional. Never go out with a cheater.

[DerekZoolandah]

My 4-month girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. She said that she got bored and that she started taking interest in another person (who, for those who remember, was the same guy which I posted about). ;_;

 

 

 

Does anyone know how I should approach trying to date her again? Obviously I won't try for a bit. I still really like her, but she said that I liked her way too much when she barely liked me enough to date me.

 

 

 

I'm not too worried about the person that she's interested in, however. He's .. "funny", but they're completely different personalities. I don't see it lasting long if they do date.

 

 

 

Thanks.

 

If she's just going to get bored with you and then chase after someone else then she isn't going to be worth your time.

 

 

 

I guess that's true. She was just the perfect personality for me.

 

 

 

Bah seeing her with this dude makes me so angry. ;_;

[Quoi_Tu]

I guess that's true. She was just the perfect personality for me.

 

 

 

Bah seeing her with this dude makes me so angry. ;_;

 

Angry or jealous? Or both?

 

 

 

Also, if she became "bored" with you, then maybe she isn't the perfect personality for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Edit2 (completely irrelevant): Avatar upgraded. Awesome.

[DerekZoolandah]

I guess that's true. She was just the perfect personality for me.

 

 

 

Bah seeing her with this dude makes me so angry. ;_;

 

Angry or jealous? Or both?

 

 

 

Also, if she became "bored" with you, then maybe she isn't the perfect personality for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Edit (completely irrelevant): Oh no! My avatar is oversized!

 

 

 

Both. Just because she told me the times that she'd talk to him, go to his house for a class project, when he'd hover around her, that she didn't like him, and that "she's not going to break up with her boyfriend of 4 months for a guy she barely knows".

 

 

 

Yeah.

[Da_Latios]

You're in highschool, goddamnit.

 

(or early college)

[Quoi_Tu]

Both. Just because she told me the times that she'd talk to him, go to his house for a class project, when he'd hover around her, that she didn't like him, and that "she's not going to break up with her boyfriend of 4 months for a guy she barely knows".

 

 

 

Yeah.

 

Aww, poor Derek.

 

 

 

So it goes.

[Rebdragon]

If she's just going to get bored with you and then chase after someone else then she isn't going to be worth your time.

 

 

 

I guess that's true. She was just the perfect personality for me.

 

 

 

Bah seeing her with this dude makes me so angry. ;_;

 

You know what? You all spout that [cabbage] of a statement up way too much. "She's not worthy of you", "she's not worth your time", "you're better than this, better than her".

 

 

 

You know what else? Stop. You may think you're being helpful but you're really not. You're telling the person that they shouldn't change, that they shouldn't improve themselves, that the world should fit them. You're treating them like five-year olds. Expect more of users. Treat them better. And when the truth needs to be said, say it.

 

 

 

Derek, you have this all wrong. It's not that she isn't worth your time, it's that you aren't worth hers. Why? You're boring and uninteresting (and most likely fit other bad personas), and you need to change that. Do you need to change who you believe you are? No, but you need to learn from this and improve yourself. You need to learn from her that she doesn't want to be with you, and she may not be the last to feel that way. Strive to improve yourself in every way, every day.

 

 

 

Oh, and stop with the stalking. One of the reasons she listed for you, bluntly, was that you were smothering her. Trying desperately hard to get her back... do you even need a short version of the explanation? Just... stop. Move on.

 

 

 

[riku, if you agree with me (if you're merely telling him to move on rather than flatter him, the latter which I see a lot), my b. just trying to make a point, not single you out]

[Riku3220]

Yeah I was only telling him to move on, by saying "not worth your time" I meant that he is literally going to waste time by trying to get her back. :lol:

[Powman3]

Well, my relationship is over. I kinda expected it but I definitely wasn't ready.

 

 

 

She's still in love with my best friend, and she played into his game. I don't blame her for it, he's too good.

 

 

 

I cried for at least an hour. I'll miss the long phone calls at night, pissing off my parents because I wouldn't go to sleep. I'll miss holding her when she was sad. I hope my friend's happy, because he got what he wanted.

 

 

 

We never dated, but were pretty close.

 

 

 

She was amazing. She had the looks, the personality, everything. I don't think I'll ever win her back, there really isn't any point in attempting to.

 

 

 

I don't understand what's wrong with me. I'm DEFINITELY not bad looking, I have a decent body, a decent personality. I don't get it!!! I can't get one girl to like me and date me, I've failed every time I've gotten so close, it's ridiculous.

 

 

 

Am I not meant to be in love? :cry:

[Quoi_Tu]

You're not forward enough. Be brave.

[Ax600]

yes im in a relationship now, but this was just for past reference :shock:

[RpgGamer]

If she's just going to get bored with you and then chase after someone else then she isn't going to be worth your time.

 

 

 

I guess that's true. She was just the perfect personality for me.

 

 

 

Bah seeing her with this dude makes me so angry. ;_;

 

You know what? You all spout that [cabbage] of a statement up way too much. "She's not worthy of you", "she's not worth your time", "you're better than this, better than her".

 

 

 

You know what else? Stop. You may think you're being helpful but you're really not. You're telling the person that they shouldn't change, that they shouldn't improve themselves, that the world should fit them. You're treating them like five-year olds. Expect more of users. Treat them better. And when the truth needs to be said, say it.

 

 

 

Derek, you have this all wrong. It's not that she isn't worth your time, it's that you aren't worth hers. Why? You're boring and uninteresting (and most likely fit other bad personas), and you need to change that. Do you need to change who you believe you are? No, but you need to learn from this and improve yourself. You need to learn from her that she doesn't want to be with you, and she may not be the last to feel that way. Strive to improve yourself in every way, every day.

 

 

 

Oh, and stop with the stalking. One of the reasons she listed for you, bluntly, was that you were smothering her. Trying desperately hard to get her back... do you even need a short version of the explanation? Just... stop. Move on.

 

 

 

[riku, if you agree with me (if you're merely telling him to move on rather than flatter him, the latter which I see a lot), my b. just trying to make a point, not single you out]

 

 

 

For once I agree with you. And I'm quite sure that this is a first. You don't have to change yourself to improve yourself. You can keep the same interests and core values as those things make up who you are. Some things you can change are things such as manners, social networking habits, and hygene. The better you make yoursel, the more they'll want you back. Not that going back to them is always the best choice.

[Powman3]

You're not forward enough. Be brave.

 

 

 

Not true.

 

 

 

Sure, I have a hard time going up to a girl and just saying hi, but I'm straight up about everything else.

[Boris5000]

Well, my relationship is over. I kinda expected it but I definitely wasn't ready.

 

 

 

She's still in love with my best friend, and she played into his game. I don't blame her for it, he's too good.

 

 

 

I cried for at least an hour. I'll miss the long phone calls at night, pissing off my parents because I wouldn't go to sleep. I'll miss holding her when she was sad. I hope my friend's happy, because he got what he wanted.

 

 

 

We never dated, but were pretty close.

 

 

 

She was amazing. She had the looks, the personality, everything. I don't think I'll ever win her back, there really isn't any point in attempting to.

 

 

 

I don't understand what's wrong with me. I'm DEFINITELY not bad looking, I have a decent body, a decent personality. I don't get it!!! I can't get one girl to like me and date me, I've failed every time I've gotten so close, it's ridiculous.

 

 

 

Am I not meant to be in love? :cry:

 

 

 

May I join your boat?

 

 

 

Well, recently blah di blah, we broke up blah di blah, Some old, same old.

[Zierro]

You're not forward enough. Be brave.

 

 

 

Not true.

 

 

 

Sure, I have a hard time going up to a girl and just saying hi, but I'm straight up about everything else.

 

 

 

Maybe the opportunity just hasn't come for you yet. I haven't had a real relationship until now and I used to feel the same way you do. Just stay vigilant, but at the same time don't try and make a relationship out of every girl you meet. And most importantly, be optimistic.

[deathdrow]

I have so many emotions in me right now.

 

I'm really sad, I'm really angry, I'm depressed, and I'm annoyed.

 

My girlfriend keeps arguing with me about how I have to be nice to another one of my friends.

 

I usually am, I go out of my way to be nice to him, and he's a complete [wagon] to me.

 

I generally am not bothered by it, I know he doesn't mean what he says. But for a week before I got angry and screamed at him. he was treating me like [cabbage]. My girlfriend says I have to be nice to him because he's suicidal and I wouldn't want him to die.

 

I don't want him to die. I care about him.

 

so two days ago, I was on xbox live. and I was talking to him.

 

we were talking about batteries because my controller was dying.

 

he said I should get rechargeable batteries because they last for 150 charges or something like that.

 

and I said I probably should, but they cost money. and I don't have much money.

 

then he goes on saying they aren't that expensive. then he went on and started acting like a smartass because I said rechargeable batteries must last a long time, because 2 batteries at 150 charges 150 times my controller could die. then he says, naw the lithium duracell batteries suck. I should go get the ones they use in planes, because they last 400 charges. and at this point I was starting to get pretty pissed, because I don't like talking about money, because money isn't really a good topic for me. he was saying I should get those ones, and I went, well how the [bleep] am I supposed to get them? and he went my dad works for bombardier thats how I get them.

 

so I said, well aren't you lucky your daddy works for a plane company and you can get fancy batteries, but most peoples parents don't work for [bleep]ing plane companies, and a lot of people can't afford fancy [bleep]ing airplane batteries their daddies get them. he then said, they aren't really that expensive. I said, well to you they might not be, but I'm not a rich kid like you are. he went, I'm not [bleep]ing rich, and got really pissed off. I then went, well maybe your not rich, but you do have lots of nice things, maybe you have so many nice things because you're parents just get lucky and find good sales on [cabbage], maybe they make good money but you aren't rich, or maybe your parents are just in a ton of debt. then it was quiet for about two seconds, and he said, [bleep] you. and left. Later on, he started acting really immature and making a bunch of childish comments on things on facebook. I just told him to quit being [bleep]ing immature, and that I was sorry I acted like a douchebag. Then he went and said, I'm still mad, you made me break a promise, this is the first time I've ever broken a promise in my life. and I said that's [bleep]ing [cabbage]. he went on complaining about how he broke his promise never to cut himself ever again, and saying it was my fault he broke the promise. and I said, how was it my fault? he then said, I was sad that day, (this was the day after) and a couple people made me sad, and I didn't talk to molly (girl he's pretty much in love with) then you went and yelled at me, so i cut myself. He's trying to place the blame solely on me, and he's telling my girlfriend that it's all my fault. and she's really upset with me, because she's friends with him. and this kid is pretty much my best friend, and now my girlfriend is arguing with me about how I'm an [wagon], and I need to stop being an [wagon] to my friends. we've been arguing about it since last night, for about an hour, and this afternoon on the phone, for about an hour.

 

she's saying I'm an [wagon], and that I always treat my friends like [cabbage], and I'm saying what happened, and she's saying that it doesn't matter, you can't do that, and I said I know but people just get pissed sometimes and let [cabbage] out. I know what I said was mean but I can't do anything about it. she started yelling at me on the phone, and her argument is that when matt acts like a [bleep] to me, it's different because I don't take it personally, and that he soaks up every little insult like he's a sponge. matt also gets picked on at school, but that's because he enables it, and takes every little thing, whether serious or not, really seriously and makes a big deal out of it inside, but never says [cabbage] about it. and she's saying that I have to not be an [wagon], and I'm saying I'm usually not, but sometimes i snap. and I wasn't completely aware of how personally he took things. and now he pretty much hates me. and my girlfriend Is unbelievably angry at me, and I don't know what the [bleep] to do.

 

any advice?

 

if you need any more information just ask. cause I'm clueless as to what I should do.

[D Jay99]

-

[deathdrow]

so I cut myself.

 

You're asking us to help you? Go see a doctor or something.

 

that was a typo actually.

 

a pretty big one.

 

edit: actually not a typo. what he said. not me.

[Lenticular_J]

I thought your friend cut himself.

 

 

 

Anyways, you're both being [bleep]s. You should both punch the [cabbage] out of each other and then go get an ice cream. It's what me and my friends do when we get pissed off. Whoever knocks out the other one (or makes him bleed) has to pay. But I mean, we don't get mad that much. I had to pay once or twice, a couple of them have had to pay.

[deathdrow]

I thought your friend cut himself.

 

 

 

Anyways, you're both being [bleep]s. You should both punch the [cabbage] out of each other and then go get an ice cream. It's what me and my friends do when we get pissed off. Whoever knocks out the other one (or makes him bleed) has to pay. But I mean, we don't get mad that much. I had to pay once or twice, a couple of them have had to pay.

 

I know I'm being a [bleep]. I'm a [bleep] pretty often. and I could fight him, but he's pretty much a cripple, and he lives like. 40 minutes away from me and goes to a different school.

[Lenticular_J]

I'm not talking one of those stupid fights, like, "You better meet me at the old oak tree after school!" I'm just talking punch each other. No real emotion involved. Just letting off steam. Plus you're in Canada, so you can fall in the snow and it'll be soft.

 

 

 

Or, Sock'em Boppers. All your problems are solved. And you can split the ice cream bill.

[deathdrow]

I'm not talking one of those stupid fights, like, "You better meet me at the old oak tree after school!" I'm just talking punch each other. No real emotion involved. Just letting off steam. Plus you're in Canada, so you can fall in the snow and it'll be soft.

 

 

 

Or, Sock'em Boppers. All your problems are solved. And you can split the ice cream bill.

 

actually typing that out helped quite a bit. I'm a lot calmer now. I'm still worried about my girlfriend though.

[Kiriyama]

Dump the girlfriend, ditch the friend.

 

 

 

Really, look over it and think "Is it worth it?"