"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Lemeja]

And if it ends? He himself has admitted that he's liked her off and on and that nothing serious will probably happen.

[Chaise]

Seventeen, apparently. That's pretty surprising. Maybe you should hang out with other couples. She'll see how it's rather common, and maybe she'll get used to it.

 

 

 

Or maybe you'll be one of those old couples that stare at each other across the dinner table and get FAT.

 

 

 

Yeah, 17. And I'll have to try that. I have two good friends that date and maybe we could hang out with them or something. Who knows at this point in time.

[Flyingjj]

So, I've just become part of the classic love triangle. I just found out my best friend likes the same girl as me and she happens to like him as well (they are aware of this). Neither of them know I like her though and for now I'm acting like everything is fine. I want to let her know I like her but don't want it to cause any problems with my friend. Help :wall:

 

You think a love triangle is bad, let me tell you... Not really asking for advice on this one, as it's far too complicated to explain everything that goes on between me and her, and I know what everyone would say, and that's tell her, but in her own words she thinks it best if someone is fairly sure they know how the other feels before they confront someone, so I'm taking a slow and steady approach. Anyway, here goes:

 

 

 

So I have feelings for someone, and she's my close friend(not long term, but very close. I met her when I started college 7 months ago). So we've been having a big online discussion about love and dating, and it eventually led to her discussing her current situation with me. She was fairly sure that she could tell when someone liked her, but recently she found out that one of her friends had a crush on her that was so bad it was affecting his grades, and she had no idea. She doesn't return those feelings, and he decided that he needed to see her less so he could concentrate on school. On top of that, she told me that after having a nice, drama-free first semester, she now has three guys she thinks likes her, the obsessed one, one to whom she doesn't return feelings for, and a third to whom she does. It's a self-described "love-tripod."

 

 

 

So, like I said, I have feelings for her, and I have no idea if she knows and I am one of the two remaining legs of her "love-tripod," or if I would turn the situation into a love cross, so to speak.

 

 

 

As one would expect, I get all sorts of mixed signals to complicate the matter further, as I can't get a good read on her because it seems to change every couple of days.

 

 

 

So, like I said, not really looking for advice, but you can offer it if you want, or just feel free to comment on my absurd situation.

[Da_Latios]

Being the only male in two of my classes at school, I must say I have a lot of new insight on how girls think.

 

This could come to my advantage in the near future....

[Riku3220]

Being the only male in two of my classes at school, I must say I have a lot of new insight on how girls think.

 

This could come to my advantage in the near future....

 

What classes are you taking that makes you the only male? Art? Home Ec.?

[Da_Latios]

Modern History and Legal Studies, heh.

[I_am_Geed]

this may sound dumb, but on your opinions do long distance relationships work if both people are commited?

 

 

 

I live in CT, She lives in AZ, but we both really like each other.

 

 

 

any ideas?

 

 

 

also, any ideas on how to tell my parents that im in a long distance relationship?

 

 

 

I fear they may think she is a sexual predator and not allow me to talk to each other, But her facebook is normal, weve sent pictures to each other via text message, and weve talked to each other on the phone.

[Rebdragon]

Being the only male in two of my classes at school, I must say I have a lot of new insight on how girls think.

 

This could come to my advantage in the near future....

 

Haha.

 

 

 

Understand girls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the [bleep] you talkin bout, willis.

[Sumpta]

^ You know, men who claim they understand 'the wimminz' usually haven't the foggiest... I'm a woman, a damn complicated one at that, and even I wouldn't presume to be able to tell how other women think. Quite frankly, I wouldn't presume to be able to tell how I think.

 

 

 

The real trick is to understand how alike men and women are, and to work from there. And then to accept the differences as the mystery factor you'll never fully unveil.

[RayOxide]

Reb made me lol.

 

In all seriousness though, you dont know girls in general, everyone is majorly different, and from what it seems, girls are MUCH different from eachother than guys.

 

Guys just do things to look cool/funny tbh.

 

Girls have all these fads and stuff that last a few weeks/months, some dont, lots dont, tbh, but lots do.

 

You heard of jonas brothers? :|

 

 

 

Anyway, not really here for advice, other than how to deal with rejecting someone =/

[brunokiller]

Reb made me lol.

 

In all seriousness though, you dont know girls in general, everyone is majorly different, and from what it seems, girls are MUCH different from eachother than guys.

 

Guys just do things to look cool/funny tbh.

 

Girls have all these fads and stuff that last a few weeks/months, some dont, lots dont, tbh, but lots do.

 

You heard of jonas brothers? :|

 

 

 

Anyway, not really here for advice, other than how to deal with rejecting someone =/

 

Someone loves you and you don't love them?

 

 

 

Just say a clear 'no' instead of 'maybe' 'I dont know' or 'I can't'.

[Rebdragon]

Frikkin quote button.

[Rebdragon]

this may sound dumb, but on your opinions do long distance relationships work if both people are commited?

 

 

 

I live in CT, She lives in AZ, but we both really like each other.

 

 

 

any ideas?

 

 

 

also, any ideas on how to tell my parents that im in a long distance relationship?

 

 

 

I fear they may think she is a sexual predator and not allow me to talk to each other, But her facebook is normal, weve sent pictures to each other via text message, and weve talked to each other on the phone.

 

You've never... met?

 

 

 

Does that even qualify as a relationship? I mean, I love Sumpta to death (an obviously mutual feeling), but I don't think you could say there's a relationship there.

[I_am_Geed]

this may sound dumb, but on your opinions do long distance relationships work if both people are commited?

 

 

 

I live in CT, She lives in AZ, but we both really like each other.

 

 

 

any ideas?

 

 

 

also, any ideas on how to tell my parents that im in a long distance relationship?

 

 

 

I fear they may think she is a sexual predator and not allow me to talk to each other, But her facebook is normal, weve sent pictures to each other via text message, and weve talked to each other on the phone.

 

You've never... met?

 

 

 

Does that even qualify as a relationship? I mean, I love Sumpta to death (an obviously mutual feeling), but I don't think you could say there's a relationship there.

 

 

 

I guess your right, but we're committed to meeting each other.

 

She said she has cousins that live in my state, so when she goes to see them in a few months, that we could try and actually meet face to face.

[embersfire]

this may sound dumb, but on your opinions do long distance relationships work if both people are commited?

 

 

 

I live in CT, She lives in AZ, but we both really like each other.

 

 

 

any ideas?

 

 

 

also, any ideas on how to tell my parents that im in a long distance relationship?

 

 

 

I fear they may think she is a sexual predator and not allow me to talk to each other, But her facebook is normal, weve sent pictures to each other via text message, and weve talked to each other on the phone.

 

You've never... met?

 

 

 

Does that even qualify as a relationship? I mean, I love Sumpta to death (an obviously mutual feeling), but I don't think you could say there's a relationship there.

 

 

 

I do not agree. If you have both decided you are committed to each other in a romantic sense,and wish to be in a relationship,you can call it a relationship. the fact it is not a physical relationship yet is a different matter. And yes,it can work...if you are both prepared to make sacrifices and make sure you both want the same thing.

[tripsis]

this may sound dumb, but on your opinions do long distance relationships work if both people are commited?

 

 

 

I live in CT, She lives in AZ, but we both really like each other.

 

 

 

any ideas?

 

 

 

also, any ideas on how to tell my parents that im in a long distance relationship?

 

 

 

I fear they may think she is a sexual predator and not allow me to talk to each other, But her facebook is normal, weve sent pictures to each other via text message, and weve talked to each other on the phone.

 

You've never... met?

 

 

 

Does that even qualify as a relationship? I mean, I love Sumpta to death (an obviously mutual feeling), but I don't think you could say there's a relationship there.

 

 

 

I do not agree. If you have both decided you are committed to each other in a romantic sense,and wish to be in a relationship,you can call it a relationship. the fact it is not a physical relationship yet is a different matter. And yes,it can work...if you are both prepared to make sacrifices and make sure you both want the same thing.

 

I agree. I'm in a long distance relationship myself and just because we're not together in person right now, that doesn't mean that we don't have a relationship. You will have to go into this knowing that it's going to be really hard. All relationships are difficult to maintain on some level, but this is going to be even harder. Most of the time they don't work out, but it is certainly possible. But you both have to care about each other enough to be committed to making it work. I know that you said you're both committed but how much have you really talked about this? I mean is it just clear to you that she cares about you, or have you actually talked about your relationship and both decided that you want to keep going with it?

 

 

 

Long distance relationships are hard, you will have to get over the fact that you can't hold and kiss the other person whenever you want (sometimes only a few times a year/month, depending upon your situation), unless you talk all day every day (like I do with my boyfriend) you will likely find yourself wondering if your girlfriend is being faithful.. etc.

 

 

 

Now to answer your actual question - how to talk to your parents.. how old are you and how long have you known this girl? I was in a very similar situation with my boyfriend. My mom reads all the horror stories about girls who meet guys on FaceBook or MySpace, talk to them for a week, decide to meet up, and then they get raped/killed/kidnapped/whatever. My mom always told me to never talk to people I didn't know online.. of course I never listened. I finally realized that for the most part, her fears were blown way out of proportion. If you go about it in a smart way (don't give someone your information until you've talked to them for several months and really know who they are.. don't just decide to meet them after like a week), everything will most likely be fine. But my mom didn't realize that and still doesn't really realize that. From the day we met, it took me six years to tell my mom about my long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I knew that if I told her when I was 14 or 15, she would freak out, take away my phone, my computer, etc. I waited until I was 18. I felt like at that point, she would be able to treat me like an adult and not do anything dramatic.. and it was true. She actually told me "If you had told me this when you were younger, I would have taken away your computer and done all sorts of things to cause you to lose communication with this guy." But now that I'm older, she trusts me more.

 

 

 

Now I'm not saying that your parents will react in the same way that mine did, because I don't know your parents at all. But it is important to know how long you've known this girl and how old you are. Because if you've known her for only a few weeks and you're 14 or 15 years old, they'll probably freak out, especially because you're already worried about how they'll react. But if you've known her for a few months, you feel like you have a deep connection with her, and you're at least pretty mature, then things might work out better.

[Lenticular_J]

I think that not meeting a a person you're forming a relationship with is stupid. As in not meeting them period. That just seems so strange to me. WHAT IF THEY ARE A ROBOT

 

 

 

WHAT IF

[I_am_Geed]

this may sound dumb, but on your opinions do long distance relationships work if both people are commited?

 

 

 

I live in CT, She lives in AZ, but we both really like each other.

 

 

 

any ideas?

 

 

 

also, any ideas on how to tell my parents that im in a long distance relationship?

 

 

 

I fear they may think she is a sexual predator and not allow me to talk to each other, But her facebook is normal, weve sent pictures to each other via text message, and weve talked to each other on the phone.

 

You've never... met?

 

 

 

Does that even qualify as a relationship? I mean, I love Sumpta to death (an obviously mutual feeling), but I don't think you could say there's a relationship there.

 

 

 

I do not agree. If you have both decided you are committed to each other in a romantic sense,and wish to be in a relationship,you can call it a relationship. the fact it is not a physical relationship yet is a different matter. And yes,it can work...if you are both prepared to make sacrifices and make sure you both want the same thing.

 

I agree. I'm in a long distance relationship myself and just because we're not together in person right now, that doesn't mean that we don't have a relationship. You will have to go into this knowing that it's going to be really hard. All relationships are difficult to maintain on some level, but this is going to be even harder. Most of the time they don't work out, but it is certainly possible. But you both have to care about each other enough to be committed to making it work. I know that you said you're both committed but how much have you really talked about this? I mean is it just clear to you that she cares about you, or have you actually talked about your relationship and both decided that you want to keep going with it?

 

 

 

Long distance relationships are hard, you will have to get over the fact that you can't hold and kiss the other person whenever you want (sometimes only a few times a year/month, depending upon your situation), unless you talk all day every day (like I do with my boyfriend) you will likely find yourself wondering if your girlfriend is being faithful.. etc.

 

 

 

Now to answer your actual question - how to talk to your parents.. how old are you and how long have you known this girl? I was in a very similar situation with my boyfriend. My mom reads all the horror stories about girls who meet guys on FaceBook or MySpace, talk to them for a week, decide to meet up, and then they get raped/killed/kidnapped/whatever. My mom always told me to never talk to people I didn't know online.. of course I never listened. I finally realized that for the most part, her fears were blown way out of proportion. If you go about it in a smart way (don't give someone your information until you've talked to them for several months and really know who they are.. don't just decide to meet them after like a week), everything will most likely be fine. But my mom didn't realize that and still doesn't really realize that. From the day we met, it took me six years to tell my mom about my long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I knew that if I told her when I was 14 or 15, she would freak out, take away my phone, my computer, etc. I waited until I was 18. I felt like at that point, she would be able to treat me like an adult and not do anything dramatic.. and it was true. She actually told me "If you had told me this when you were younger, I would have taken away your computer and done all sorts of things to cause you to lose communication with this guy." But now that I'm older, she trusts me more.

 

 

 

Now I'm not saying that your parents will react in the same way that mine did, because I don't know your parents at all. But it is important to know how long you've known this girl and how old you are. Because if you've known her for only a few weeks and you're 14 or 15 years old, they'll probably freak out, especially because you're already worried about how they'll react. But if you've known her for a few months, you feel like you have a deep connection with her, and you're at least pretty mature, then things might work out better.

 

 

 

Im actually going to be 17 tomorrow, so I guess being older and hopefully more mature will help in this. like your parents, I think my mom would freak out that im seeing some girl who lives on the other side of the country.

 

 

 

I really do like this girl. I'v known her for about 5 months so far. I do believe what she tells me and I do believe she is real (as her mother added me on facebook xD) But the feeling she gives just talking to her is something I can describe, cosmic if you would. (cheesy, yes i know)

 

 

 

And I havnt even met her in person. Though she does want to meet this coming June-July when her and her mother travel up to my state to visit her cousins.

 

 

 

Im praying to God that this will work. :pray:

 

But I still see failure as a possible end result.

 

 

 

hope this helps

[tripsis]

Im actually going to be 17 tomorrow, so I guess being older and hopefully more mature will help in this. like your parents, I think my mom would freak out that im seeing some girl who lives on the other side of the country.

 

 

 

I really do like this girl. I'v known her for about 5 months so far. I do believe what she tells me and I do believe she is real (as her mother added me on facebook xD) But the feeling she gives just talking to her is something I can describe, cosmic if you would. (cheesy, yes i know)

 

 

 

And I havnt even met her in person. Though she does want to meet this coming June-July when her and her mother travel up to my state to visit her cousins.

 

 

 

Im praying to God that this will work. :pray:

 

But I still see failure as a possible end result.

 

 

 

hope this helps

 

Happy birthday ;)

 

 

 

Good luck and keep us updated!! :thumbsup:

[RayOxide]

Are you sure a straight up 'no' is a good idea..?

 

I dont wanna seem mean :P

[Da_Latios]

I would personally just say a simple "no". It's not mean. If people think it's mean, they can go back to their conservative homes and stay there, out of the real world.

[RayOxide]

What about rejection then? How to take it? :P

[Riku3220]

What about rejection then? How to take it? :P

 

Hold your tears until you get home if you need to.

[RayOxide]

What about rejection then? How to take it? :P

 

Hold your tears until you get home if you need to.

 

 

 

I dont cry :|

 

But I know it feels uber bad, so I havent asked any girl out yet ;x

[Da_Latios]

Rejection is nothing to cry over. The other person said no. Big whoop. If he/she agreed on your proposal and did not actually want to go, I believe that would be worse.

 

I wouldn't know. I've never asked a girl out before.